DawnM Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 My son still doesn't drive. Our nearest bus stop is 10 miles away. For the past two semesters we have been taking him back and forth to the bus stop so that he can go into the city to attend his community college classes. The bus is now $2.20 per ride, although you can buy in bulk ticketing and get it for about $1.85 each. This semester his friend is taking the exact same classes, so their schedules are the same. His friend drives, AND lives about a mile from the bus stop, so we have a deal where we take DS to his house instead. I told the parents we would pay them (or their son, but they pay for insurance and gas so I want dot check) for the rides. They agreed for "gas money" would be fine. We have told them we will give their son $2.50 per ride, so $5 R/T, which is comparable with bus fare. This is for a ride in a car that would be going that way anyway, with, or without my son. They seem absolutely fine with it, but I am curious what you all would say???? I hate it when people say, "Whatever." I would rather have an amount they expect so we can discuss. But maybe they truly don't care either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I would say that it's fine. They may not care. Their kid is going there anyway. Your son doesn't add any cost or even inconvenience. (I guess I am not sure about the inconvenience. That might come up, if sometime the driver wants/needs to go someplace else after class, or stay at the college later.) I don't think I would care, in the same situation. I might not want to be paid either. My son used to get a ride to a class with someone. The guy was going there anyway and didn't want any money. We picked up a gift card for a local convenience store/gas station as a thank you. He didn't want to take that either till my son said "My mom wants you to have it." LOL don't refuse the mom! They may also be uncomfortable with naming an amount. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 How far is the school? Does that cover at least half the gas? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Yes I think that's fine. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 My son still doesn't drive. Our nearest bus stop is 10 miles away. For the past two semesters we have been taking him back and forth to the bus stop so that he can go into the city to attend his community college classes. The bus is now $2.20 per ride, although you can buy in bulk ticketing and get it for about $1.85 each. This semester his friend is taking the exact same classes, so their schedules are the same. His friend drives, AND lives about a mile from the bus stop, so we have a deal where we take DS to his house instead. I told the parents we would pay them (or their son, but they pay for insurance and gas so I want dot check) for the rides. They agreed for "gas money" would be fine. We have told them we will give their son $2.50 per ride, so $5 R/T, which is comparable with bus fare. This is for a ride in a car that would be going that way anyway, with, or without my son. They seem absolutely fine with it, but I am curious what you all would say???? I hate it when people say, "Whatever." I would rather have an amount they expect so we can discuss. But maybe they truly don't care either way. I think that is a very generous offer! If I were the other person, I'd decline it or let you fill the tank now and then. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I think it's fair. You aren't asking him to change his time or route. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 How far is the school? Does that cover at least half the gas? The school is about 9 miles from this person's house. It covers the gas and more. Gas is around $2.20/gallon and his car gets around 30-35mpg. So it is more than double the gas amount. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 (edited) I think that is a very generous offer! If I were the other person, I'd decline it or let you fill the tank now and then. Well, we would need to pay about that for the bus anyway. And he is choosing CC, which is inexpensive, AND we are just thankful for an alternative to the bus right now. Last semester someone tried to steal his cell phone at the bus stop and it freaked him out. (not enough to start driving mind you!) But this is the son we really worried about, thought he would need disability (ASD), and thought would never go to college, so we are thrilled to do whatever is necessary. Edited January 18, 2017 by DawnM 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Especially given that you said it more than covers his gas cost, it seems more than fair to me. I think it's very nice of you to offer. If they decline cash, get them a gift card to a nearby gas station periodically. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriede Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 If you had offered that much to me for the distance specified, I would have been caught off guard as it's a LOT more than necessary. I would have agreed and wondered to myself if there were some other cost I wasn't considering for you to offer so much. Then, after having calculated a more fair amount, I would tell you that you offered too much and $1.50 a round trip would be more than enough. Especially since they're going to the same exact loction. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I think it's very fair. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 That sounds fine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnniePoo Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Does friend have to pay for parking? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Yes, very fair. It's on the generous side but not outrageously so. Well done. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I think it's fair. It's not just about the cost of gas. The other driver now needs to wait for your son both to leave in the morning and to come home. Even though they are taking the same classes there might be times he wants to leave early or hang out with friends after classes. Maybe during the ride he wants to eat breakfast, listen to music, or just be alone with his thoughts. Not that your son would mind any of those things, but it is different than riding alone. I think you'll feel good about this arrangement vs a more casual 'fill the tanks once in a while' arrangement. Your ds is paying his way and won't be treated like a freeloader. I kind of sense you are not happy with the $5 a day charge, and if that's so, maybe tell the parents that it's really going to be $4 a day because you realized you were basing it on the full fare bus ride instead of bulk ride purchases. The extra dollar would be worth it to me not to have my kid depend on a bus schedule, but I totally get feeling like you might be overpaying. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planner Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 $5 is fair. Part of what you are paying for is reliability and for the other party to leave at a mutually agreeable time. He may also feel the need to alter his behavior (music, phone conversations, eating, etc.) in the car due to your son's presence and that deserves to be compensated as well. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I think it is a great deal for all involved. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Well, we would need to pay about that for the bus anyway. And he is choosing CC, which is inexpensive, AND we are just thankful for an alternative to the bus right now. Last semester someone tried to steel his cell phone at the bus stop and it freaked him out. (not enough to start driving mind you!) But this is the son we really worried about, thought he would need disability (ASD), and thought would never go to college, so we are thrilled to do whatever is necessary. Amen! All things are possible... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Wow! I think that's more than fair. They are going there anyway. By comparison, I took a girl all last year with us and got a homemade loaf of bread at the end of the year and a thank you note. It was fine. I had to take my kids there and I wasn't going out of my way to get her. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I think it is more than fair. Ds used to get a ride with someone in a similar situation and the person picked him up at my house. I paid $5 a day. He didn't' want money either, but I wanted to make sure that it stayed worth while for him to pick up my son. It saved me wayyyy more in effort and gas than $5 a day. LOL 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 $5 per day sounds fine. that works to $20 per week. (my son's have classes 4x per week.) some colleges sell bus passes at student rates - have you check on what that would be? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Yes, I think your plan is excellent. As long as you can afford/manage it, then it's great to me. The parents probably don't care about the $$, so they said whatever. They have the fixed cost anyway and don't want to be greedy. If the cost you are offering is tough on your budget, then I think it would be acceptable to ask if less would have been OK, but since you've already offered, I'd stick with what you offered without reduction. Most important thing, to me, is that you always have your kid there when he's supposed to be (likewise picked up on time) . . . When I do favors like this, the convenience/inconvenience issues are BY FAR the most important to me. So long as you don't inconvenience them, then it's a win win for everyone. And, FWIW, if my kid were the driver, I'd be happy he had company on the drive. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Perhaps for the same price the friend could pick your ds up at your home and drop him there? Or at least, if it morphs to that, feel no guilt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 Perhaps for the same price the friend could pick your ds up at your home and drop him there? Or at least, if it morphs to that, feel no guilt. That would be an additional 20 miles PER DAY. We live 10 miles south of them. The college is 9 miles north of them. BUT, they have said multiple times they are fine with my son hanging out at their house before or after school if we can't drop off or collect at the exact times. My son and this boy are good friends. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 Does friend have to pay for parking? No, in fact, both boys had to pay for a parking pass. It is included in the campus fees and you can't negotiate them to take out certain things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 There is NO reduced bus fare for students, which surprised me (unless you are a high school student, which he isn't) but you can buy tickets in bulk, making the fare $1.85 instead of $2.20. But honestly, I am not going to fuss about that. I figured it out and it will come to just under $300 for the semester for transportation. WAY cheaper than Uber ($25 each way) and way less stress than the bus. AND way cheaper than teen/new driver insurance. So, there ya go. That is our line of thinking. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 It sounds fair to me. I'm in a similar situation. My 18 year old doesn't drive, and she attends CC about 30 miles from the house. Last semester, some days I took the younger girls to her school, and they did their lessons in the student union. They hated the noise level. Some days I took her to school and took the younger kids to the park while she was in class. They liked that better, but it was hard to get their lessons completed. Some days we just dropped her off, then tried to do a couple of hours of school here and then picked her up. That was 2 hours or more in the car each day depending on traffic. Plus the younger kids had to stop school to get her just as soon as they hit their stride and got going. That made everyone cranky. This semester, she has a friend from school who rearranged his school and work schedules to drive her both ways. I like him, and I think he is a very safe driver. His offering to do this for us has made SO MUCH difference in the quality of our homeschool and even my relationship with Dd because I'm not resentful about her not driving. So I pay him $20 a week and buy his lunch twice a week and fill up his gas tank at least once a month too. He would probably do it for free, but I really appreciate it and want him to know how much it means to me. He told my daughter, "Your mom pays better than Target!" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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