For Fun: Homeschool Things You Just Don't Get (no hate)

[Guest]

I'm on a Facebook group that not infrequently gets new-to-homeschooling parents looking for an all-in-one computer-based/online curriculum that will occupy their 5yo kindergartener for 6+ hours a day while they work. Oh, and if they could get it for free that would be great too.

 

And I've had parents ask me if I know of a not-school program that they could send their kids to all day and still be homeschoolers. Preferably a church doing this as volunteers, so no fees. Like, free daytime babysitting for elementary kids, but not school.

 

 

That's sad. I don't get the whole hands off thing. If you want to be hands off, send them to PS and cross your fingers, you know? At least the school is accountable to something. Stick them in a room alone with a computer for six hours to what end? That is just depressing. They want the badge of homeschooling without the work. :( Edited January 15, 2017 by texasmom33

[KungFuPanda]

No hate and please, I don't have time to come back and debate with folks but....

 

I just.don't.get homeschoolers and tech. It's taken me a long time to just shrug it off.

 

I just can't imagine John Holt as an Apple Fanboi. I see so many similarities between the underlying philosophy of homeschooling pioneers and the underlying philosophy of the free software community.

 

But it took DAYS of bouncing emails back and forth with Pat and then being referred to Steve to find out that the virtual homeschooling conference software was just something than would run in my browser and I could just disregard all the instructions for Windows users to download this and that and Apple users to run that stuff under WINE.

 

Whenever I offer to help somebody learn about GNU/Linux, I am quickly brushed off with some sort of comment about, "I'll let you know if we have any problems with bored teenagers who need to be kept out of trouble."

 

I am tolerated if people think I use Ubuntu or Mint with Wine and a ton of proprietary programs temporarily while I am saving up money to buy microsoft or apple products but if they find out that I am using free software for philosophical reasons, they react as if I'd said, "Hey, guys, let's go buy a bunch of machine guns and overthrow the government!"

 

So I have learned to say things like, "I'll have to ask my dh about that because I'm just not a computer person." in homeschooling circles.

 

I want to understand you, but WHAT exactly are people giving you a hard time about? We have a Linux box in our house and a zillion blinky raspberry pis and, I'm told, some sort of private Internet, but that's DHs project and I just sit with my ipad and pretend it's not there.

 

Are you saying you have trouble communicating online with them because of these different platforms? Or do you mean that when it comes up in real life conversation they look at you like you have two heads?

[lanalouwho]

I don't get the whole hands off thing either. One of the reasons I chose homeschooling was so I could be a major part of my kids education.

I do understand it for some things. Obviously a mom with littles or in crisis mode needs her older DC to have some independence. But I homeschool so I can be hands-on everyday, interacting with my kids.

 

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[luuknam]

I met someone not too long ago who had their first grader work (completely) independently while both parents work. They are self employed so he's not alone, but they are busy with their business while he was there with a stack of R&S or something. I don't even know how that's possible.

 

Some first graders can read well. My first grader can do quite a number of things independently. That said, not in a "here, spend the next 6 hours doing these things, see ya" kind of way. But I don't know that they're doing that either - my wife works from home fairly often, and she does stop to chat for a few minutes every once in a while - she probably *could* have him work on all subjects independently while working from home (if she had a clue of what work to have him do, and if we dropped our standards a little/used different programs - e.g. do 2nd instead of 3rd grade geography, and some spelling program that's not AAS). I don't have any desire to have him work independently 6 hours a day, but I can totally see how he could be kept occupied 6 hours a day with school, books, and educational videos with relatively minimal parental involvement during those hours.

 

And I've had parents ask me if I know of a not-school program that they could send their kids to all day and still be homeschoolers. Preferably a church doing this as volunteers, so no fees. Like, free daytime babysitting for elementary kids, but not school.

 

I want this (but no church involvement please). I would really, really like to have 1 day a week of elementary age daycare/camp kind of thing, for free. I haven't asked anyone though, because of course it doesn't exist. But it's really tough to be responsible for your kids (especially if one or both are special needs) 24/7 with minimal help from spouse and no family in the area.

 

That's sad. I don't get the whole hands off thing. If you want to be hands off, send them to PS and cross your fingers, you know? At least the school is accountable to something. Stick them in a room alone with a computer for six hours to what end? That is just depressing. They want the badge of homeschooling without the work. :(

 

I think most don't want the badge, but had their kid in school and it didn't work out for whatever reason (horrible bullying or w/e).

[Rosie_0801]

The only word I understood here was "fanboi." :lol:

 

Are you saying people give you grief for (obviously) knowing a grip about computers and preferring to do off-the-trodden path stuff with them??

 

She's a technological anarchist. :lol:

 

Respectable citizens use the click and drag wizard.

 

Anarchists write their own code.

 

 

My ex knows all that stuff but thinks the best way to ensure dd grows up to be a technological citizen is to play Pokemon Go and definitely not teach her how to build a PC. It's a wee bit frustrating.

[Murphy101]

I read that as coops (like chicken coop)

and not co-ops and was wondering for a split second who the hell used a coop for their children. 😂

Don't you judge me! You don't know me!

 

🤣

[Murphy101]

I don't really understand the desire for kids to be working independently super early. Homeschooling is pretty boring if it's a whole lot of 'here, taught you the lesson now go do the work'. It's fun to sit on the couch and learn together. Well, it is for me, anyway.

 

I totally understand why people send their teens to school - one of mine went, though that was her choice, not mine. It's just that everytime another family goes to school, the teen h/s community thins, and it makes it almost impossible to start setting up the kinds of things that make it easier for people to homeschool their teens.

 

So, a bit of a catch-22.

I dual enroll my teens at the community college. It isn't free or cheap, but it's still better and more bang for my buck than co-ops. And it's only 2-3 classes a semester, so it's not like they can't also do other things. Like get a job. Like volunteer at church. Like pursue hobbies. They are very busy and interacting with other people regularly. I don't think the teen h/s thins so much as ... drifts apart.

[poppy]

I don't get the whole hands off thing either. One of the reasons I chose homeschooling was so I could be a major part of my kids education.

I do understand it for some things. Obviously a mom with littles or in crisis mode needs her older DC to have some independence. But I homeschool so I can be hands-on everyday, interacting with my kids.

 

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At least in school., they are with other kids.  Solo work without a parent involved is fine once in a while but 5 days a week for a year sounds so lonely to me.

[Murphy101]

Yeah, but there's a voyeurism there; people want to know how you deal with laundry for umpteen people and how many pans of Tater Tot casserole it takes to feed 'em all. ;) That's why all these TV shows with bazillions of kids or nonotuplets or whatever are popular. People just want to stare from the privacy of their own homes.

 

It's funny, but, back before Kate Gosslin became widely regarded as a nutjob; in the early shows when she had "2 six-year-olds and 6 two-year-olds," I enjoyed watching that show. My youngest was roughly the same age as the sextuplets and he was insane, so watching Screamin' Kate manage her life assured me that I had my own life well in hand. Misery loves someone to feel superior to. ;)

I'm such a disappointment. I've never made a tatertot casserole in my life and have no plans to do so. Ever. It sounds disgusting.

[lanalouwho]

I'm such a disappointment. I've never made a tatertot casserole in my life and have no plans to do so. Ever. It sounds disgusting.

It's actually quite delicious. I was pleasantly surprised the first time I had it.

 

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[LucyStoner]

I met someone not too long ago who had their first grader work (completely) independently while both parents work. They are self employed so he's not alone, but they are busy with their business while he was there with a stack of R&S or something. I don't even know how that's possible. How can you self direct if you can barely read?!! That was one of the few times I've been rendered speechless when discussing homeschooling.

Those are often the same sorts of people who 6 months later post (here or on FB) asking what they should do about their "defiant" child of 7 years of age who (gasp) hasn't been doing their assigned workbooks or who "can't focus."

Edited January 16, 2017 by LucyStoner

[AnniePoo]

Five in a Row.

[LucyStoner]

I'm on a Facebook group that not infrequently gets new-to-homeschooling parents looking for an all-in-one computer-based/online curriculum that will occupy their 5yo kindergartener for 6+ hours a day while they work. Oh, and if they could get it for free that would be great too.

 

And I've had parents ask me if I know of a not-school program that they could send their kids to all day and still be homeschoolers. Preferably a church doing this as volunteers, so no fees. Like, free daytime babysitting for elementary kids, but not school.

 

I have three kids that spend hours every day interest-led-talking-my-ear-off, and that's on top of regular assigned work and instruction. I'm not the person to ask about hands-off anything at this stage.

I see this a lot. Once for a child as young as 4. What I want to say but don't is "please don't homeschool".

[Crimson Wife]

I don't get the whole hands off thing either. One of the reasons I chose homeschooling was so I could be a major part of my kids education.

I do understand it for some things. Obviously a mom with littles or in crisis mode needs her older DC to have some independence. But I homeschool so I can be hands-on everyday, interacting with my kids.

 

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Your kids are littles and presumably you're new to HS. I felt like you when I was in a similar position. But now that my kids are older and capable of being more independent, I like that I can drop my oldest off at her DE course and set my DS to working on his online math while I do my own college coursework. I'm SO GLAD to be past the whole "let's mummify a chicken" stage. BTDT and have the photos in an album to prove it.

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I still love working with my teen. I'm not by her side every minute, of course, but homeschooling high school is exciting in different ways than working with littles. Obviously my way isn't the only way but it is a way that I personally find enriching. For me it is the culmination of everything I have done in grade and middle school.

 

 

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[sassenach]

My dd is dating a guy who was homeschooled k-12. He is not a fan, mostly because he was left to teach himself once he reached high school. He's the sweetest guy, and I can tell he's afraid of offending me, but dd said he was completely aghast that she wants to hs her kids.

 

That "let them teach themselves" thing is a problem at any age, I think.

[lanalouwho]

Your kids are littles and presumably you're new to HS. I felt like you when I was in a similar position. But now that my kids are older and capable of being more independent, I like that I can drop my oldest off at her DE course and set my DS to working on his online math while I do my own college coursework. I'm SO GLAD to be past the whole "let's mummify a chicken" stage. BTDT and have the photos in an album to prove it.

 

Its true that I'm just starting. I wasn't trying to say that no one should do hands off stuff ever. I actually believe that learning to manage their own work/time is very important. I was just saying that I don't really get it because it is the exact opposite of my main motivation. Everyone has their own reasons for choosing to homeschool; this is mine. Maybe it will change with time and maybe it won't. But I can't imagine not wanting some level of involvement in their work.

[G5052]

I'm graduating my last one in June, so we've covered some miles.

 

Things I ditched without looking back:

 

Denim jumpers

Five-in-a-Row

Bravewriter

Homeschool art

Tapestry of Grace

 

Things I'm glad we found:

 

Teaching them about academic planners in grammar school and gradually turning their studies over to them

Sonlight in grammar school

IEW

Carefully outsourcing in areas I'm weak in (I made some mistakes in middle school)

Henle Latin -- I taught them in middle school, then we outsourced (see above)

[laundrycrisis]

I confess I don't get mom diplomas, awarded for a transcript of home-cooked high school courses, all graded by mom, with no outsourced courses, test scores, community college classes, or any work evaluated by anyone outside the home.  I know people do it.  But it's this huge part of homeschooling highschool that I just don't get.   :leaving:

[Mergath]

That's sad. I don't get the whole hands off thing. If you want to be hands off, send them to PS and cross your fingers, you know? At least the school is accountable to something. Stick them in a room alone with a computer for six hours to what end? That is just depressing. They want the badge of homeschooling without the work. :(

 

I've come across a few people (both online and irl) who don't really want to homeschool, but feel like they have to because they're part of an uber conservative church with a heavily anti-government culture where all the "good" parents homeschool. One woman who I was chatting with at a playground a couple years back homeschooled for that reason. She didn't even know the name of the curriculum she was using. She said she just handed the books to her kids every morning and then did her own thing. :sad: She hated homeschooling, but felt like she had to for the morality points.

[Mergath]

I'm such a disappointment. I've never made a tatertot casserole in my life and have no plans to do so. Ever. It sounds disgusting.

 

Hey now, that's like our official state dish here in Minnesota. :lol:

 

It's actually pretty good. It tastes sort of like a shepherd's pie, but having tater tots instead of mashed potatoes gives it a better flavor and texture.

 

[Barb_]

I confess I don't get mom diplomas, awarded for a transcript of home-cooked high school courses, all graded by mom, with no outsourced courses, test scores, community college classes, or any work evaluated by anyone outside the home. I know people do it. But it's this huge part of homeschooling highschool that I just don't get. :leaving:

It's a good thing colleges do :)

[Murphy101]

Hey now, that's like our official state dish here in Minnesota. :lol:

 

It's actually pretty good. It tastes sort of like a shepherd's pie, but having tater tots instead of mashed potatoes gives it a better flavor and texture.

 

That does not help. I think both those dishes taste like a betrayal of everything potato should be. I can't eat shepherd pie and rarely eat a tater tot. Usually it is hmmmm I like potatoes. Tots are potatoes. Toss a tot in and spit it out remembering that nope, I still don't like tater tots.

 

This might make me a blasphemous Irish German American. Lol

[Jean in Newcastle]

It's a good thing colleges do :)

 

Yes.  I've gotten compliments from all of ds's professors so far on how I prepared him for college.  (He's only in his second quarter so it isn't that many professors.)  But I use the same standards of grading that I used as a professional high school teacher - though obviously only grading one student's work instead of 25.  And we used good quality curriculum with the help of SWB and other great ladies on the high school board.  Are there homeschool teachers who give A's for not much work or not hard enough work?  Of course.  Bult it is going to become very clear very quickly starting with the PSAT and SAT, the placement tests in math and English, and of courses the college courses themselves. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Another thing I don't get:  people who have been in the trenches as long as I have or longer who discount every idea or opinion given by moms who are starting out.  Not only is that disrespectful, but they are able to do research and to find what works for their children just as well as we did.  Will they make some mistakes as we did?  Of course, they might - or they might just prove themselves better at it than us.  ;)

 

Most of my "I don't get" are attitude things.  I've found many approaches or curricula that haven't worked for us but I know that they work for others and I guess I don't find it that hard to see how that works. 

 

edited because I killed a kitten. 

Edited January 16, 2017 by Jean in Newcastle

[eternalsummer]

This is probably the wrong kind of I Don't Get, but I don't get how people can find good friends for their DC while homeschooling if not part of some sort of large community group that meets more than once/week.  DD has only ever made good friends in the year and a half she was in a B&M school; it takes her a while to make friends and she seems to need a large pool of them (10-15 girls, together all day every school day) to make a strong connection with a few.  We've tried interest-based activities, classes, online classes, sports, park days, etc. and they just never have the consistency, longevity, and variety of kids that B&M school does.

 

How do you all find friends for your kids?  This makes me crazy.  I don't see it getting easier as they get older, either.

 

 

I guess the only other thing I don't get is Legos.  Our kids like them, of course, but they leave them in little bits and piles all over the house every time we have them, so they have been banned.  How do you convince kids to keep them in a certain (out of the way) area all the time?  How do your toddlers not eat them?

[Jean in Newcastle]

This is probably the wrong kind of I Don't Get, but I don't get how people can find good friends for their DC while homeschooling if not part of some sort of large community group that meets more than once/week.  DD has only ever made good friends in the year and a half she was in a B&M school; it takes her a while to make friends and she seems to need a large pool of them (10-15 girls, together all day every school day) to make a strong connection with a few.  We've tried interest-based activities, classes, online classes, sports, park days, etc. and they just never have the consistency, longevity, and variety of kids that B&M school does.

 

How do you all find friends for your kids?  This makes me crazy.  I don't see it getting easier as they get older, either.

 

 

I guess the only other thing I don't get is Legos.  Our kids like them, of course, but they leave them in little bits and piles all over the house every time we have them, so they have been banned.  How do you convince kids to keep them in a certain (out of the way) area all the time?  How do your toddlers not eat them?

 

The Y has been a good source of friends for us. 

 

[Mergath]

This is probably the wrong kind of I Don't Get, but I don't get how people can find good friends for their DC while homeschooling if not part of some sort of large community group that meets more than once/week.  DD has only ever made good friends in the year and a half she was in a B&M school; it takes her a while to make friends and she seems to need a large pool of them (10-15 girls, together all day every school day) to make a strong connection with a few.  We've tried interest-based activities, classes, online classes, sports, park days, etc. and they just never have the consistency, longevity, and variety of kids that B&M school does.

 

How do you all find friends for your kids?  This makes me crazy.  I don't see it getting easier as they get older, either.

 

 

I guess the only other thing I don't get is Legos.  Our kids like them, of course, but they leave them in little bits and piles all over the house every time we have them, so they have been banned.  How do you convince kids to keep them in a certain (out of the way) area all the time?  How do your toddlers not eat them?

 

Neighborhood kids, Girl Scouts, and local playgrounds.

[eternalsummer]

neighborhood kids I feel like could work, but how do your middle schoolers meet them?  Do they just go walking around and hope for the best?  DS8 is great at this and always makes friends this way (although it is rough as he doesn't go to school with them, so they tend to gang up on him at first) but DD11 is shy.

 

Girl scouts is a non-starter, unfortunately, and the religious version (heritage life?  or something like that) would be a poor fit as we are not religious.

 

playgrounds is a good idea; maybe I just need to wait for better weather.

 

We don't have a Y, unfortunately, but we are moving in May and might find one then.  I hate (hate) the idea of sending DD to a school district whose terminal math class is Pre-Calc, as she is pretty advanced, but I don't know how long I can resist her need for friends.

 

 

Here's something I Did Not Get until I tried it: audiobooks.  I figured my kids were good readers, so why bother with audiobooks?  Then we spent 30+ hours moving in a car and listened to all of Narnia, which no one liked when they tried the print version.  Big hit!  Now we are on to The Hobbit, another failure in print.  Audiobooks I Totally Get Now.

[Jean in Newcastle]

neighborhood kids I feel like could work, but how do your middle schoolers meet them? Do they just go walking around and hope for the best? DS8 is great at this and always makes friends this way (although it is rough as he doesn't go to school with them, so they tend to gang up on him at first) but DD11 is shy.

 

Girl scouts is a non-starter, unfortunately, and the religious version (heritage life? or something like that) would be a poor fit as we are not religious.

 

playgrounds is a good idea; maybe I just need to wait for better weather.

 

We don't have a Y, unfortunately, but we are moving in May and might find one then. I hate (hate) the idea of sending DD to a school district whose terminal math class is Pre-Calc, as she is pretty advanced, but I don't know how long I can resist her need for friends.

 

 

Here's something I Did Not Get until I tried it: audiobooks. I figured my kids were good readers, so why bother with audiobooks? Then we spent 30+ hours moving in a car and listened to all of Narnia, which no one liked when they tried the print version. Big hit! Now we are on to The Hobbit, another failure in print. Audiobooks I Totally Get Now.

My shy girl found her tribe and her confidence through volunteering. It just so happened that our volunteering was through the Y but it wouldn't have to be. Working next to other teens and tweens helped to forge good friendships and gave her skills. But of course different kids will have different interests and exposure to different opportunities.

[eternalsummer]

I can see how volunteering would be a good way to make lasting friendships.  Maybe we just need to expand our horizons a bit and try new things.

[LucyStoner]

I guess the only other thing I don't get is Legos. Our kids like them, of course, but they leave them in little bits and piles all over the house every time we have them, so they have been banned. How do you convince kids to keep them in a certain (out of the way) area all the time? How do your toddlers not eat them?

Not really homeschool related for us. Legos are basically life.

 

When we had a lego fiend and a tiny tot, big brother knew that legos were a table top activity while little brother was around. We had mega blocks for the tot to partially appease his interest. And lego sets big brother wanted to keep together had to be out of reach of little guy. Eventually toddlers stop eating stuff and luckily that came on the early side for our younger son.

 

Now, they have several large under the bed bins with legos. They have a shelf where they keep smaller bins they call project bins where they have all the pieces they are using for a current build. They are pretty good about keeping them picked up. They aren't perfect though and that's ok.

 

Periodically a geographical feature appears in their room. It's a small mountain island with little satellite mini-islands all made of legos. I call this "lego crap Island". If I can not navigate around lego crap island, I stop going in their room, which is inconvenient for boys who like bedtime stories and clean clothes. If lego crap island starts to push out of their room, I shove it all back in the room and shut the damn door. Eventually they make lego crap island disappear. As they have gotten older, lego crap island forms less often.

 

Legos may be built in the living room only when there is a project bin nearby that allows the loose pieces to be quickly gatherable and movable. If they have a lot out at once, laying out a sheet to helpful.

 

Periodically I step on legos, which is just an integral part of 21st century parenting if you have a lego fan. Sometimes they get vaccummed up or fished out of furniture. I can always get help with such cleaning by saying "you better help me sweep this floor to make sure I don't accidentally throw any lego away." Leverage.

 

I babysat a young toddler three days a week for part of December and we quickly relearned "up off the floor, keep an eye on what the toddler looks like they are fixing to eat and make sure you put anything you don't want explored by a toddler out of reach". That's the ABCs of tots and lego.

[LucyStoner]

I have to add that I do think there are times when a parent has to homeschool or distance educate - due to bullying, mental illness etc - and still needs to work, and maybe independent work at home is the best it's going to realistically get.

I agree with this but I think it's important to be realistic about what a kid who is 4 or 6 or 9 can do versus one who is older or exceptionally quiet and studious. I completely understand wanting or needing a child to be fairly independent for part or even all of the day (in a pinch where there aren't any other good alternatives) but what I see happening and do not understand is parents expecting a small child to occupy themselves with quiet schoolwork while mom and dad anticipate being able to function like they have full time childcare. Realistic expectations are key to averting frustration or being overly critical of the child in such situations. Few little kids are going to learn math just by reading a book themselves and doing the problems.

 

I worked FT for the first 1.5 years of homeschooling and it required a rejiggering of the day and how I worked on the work days when he was with me. Because he was 7-8.5 for that time. My eight hour workday had to be segmented over more waking hours and what he did without me there along side of him was more directed by what he liked to do (read, color, play with legos, watch science shows) and not his math or handwriting or really anything that was like the "self directed, no parent time, magical unicorn" school curriculum people ask after so often.

Edited January 16, 2017 by LucyStoner

[kewb]

This is probably the wrong kind of I Don't Get, but I don't get how people can find good friends for their DC while homeschooling if not part of some sort of large community group that meets more than once/week. DD has only ever made good friends in the year and a half she was in a B&M school; it takes her a while to make friends and she seems to need a large pool of them (10-15 girls, together all day every school day) to make a strong connection with a few. We've tried interest-based activities, classes, online classes, sports, park days, etc. and they just never have the consistency, longevity, and variety of kids that B&M school does.

 

How do you all find friends for your kids? This makes me crazy. I don't see it getting easier as they get older, either.

 

 

This was/is a struggle. Ds had very few hang out friends. Sure, there were swim friends, volunteer friends, I see you at this class friends, work friends, but rare was the crossover to seeing these friends outside of the activity. Either the other family was always busy,or we weren't the right religion, or no matter how many times I suggested to ds he invite so and so over he would forget to do it. This was his biggest gripe about homeschooling through high school.

 

My dd has the same struggles but she seems more content with her own company. It bothers her some days but not as much as her brother.

 

We tried setting up game days, movie nights, etc. None of them ever got off the ground. Mostly because there seems to be a lack of older kids homeschooling where I live.

[poppy]

This is probably the wrong kind of I Don't Get, but I don't get how people can find good friends for their DC while homeschooling if not part of some sort of large community group that meets more than once/week.  DD has only ever made good friends in the year and a half she was in a B&M school; it takes her a while to make friends and she seems to need a large pool of them (10-15 girls, together all day every school day) to make a strong connection with a few.  We've tried interest-based activities, classes, online classes, sports, park days, etc. and they just never have the consistency, longevity, and variety of kids that B&M school does.

 

How do you all find friends for your kids?  This makes me crazy.  I don't see it getting easier as they get older, either.

 

 

I guess the only other thing I don't get is Legos.  Our kids like them, of course, but they leave them in little bits and piles all over the house every time we have them, so they have been banned.  How do you convince kids to keep them in a certain (out of the way) area all the time?  How do your toddlers not eat them?

 

I totally get this. .... it's a  lot easier to fund a buddy if you are 'forced' into an environment together full days. I had the same experience actually as an adult, working  I was never short of people to joke around with or have lunch with when I was in a cubicle. I don't have that anymore, and I miss it, just like my daughter misses having classmates.  Sometimes it's just nice to be on a group laugh.

 

I know some neighbhorhoods have packs of kids who hang out and they get it that way. We don't.

 

Homeschooling is worth it, but, I find it to be a social sacrifice in some ways for us.  

[fairfarmhand]

Lots of what's already been mentioned but I'll add: parents who volunteer for teen groups and don't like teens. They assume that all teens have bad attitudes and smart mouths and you have to watch them every instant or they'll sneak off and do something horrible. Add to that the moms who can't stand teen boys (mostly those with all girls) and assume teen boys are just hormonal idiots.

I also don't get it when teens are mostly used for childcare and don't get their own fun activities.

 

 

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[laundrycrisis]

  Bult it is going to become very clear very quickly starting with the PSAT and SAT, the placement tests in math and English, and of courses the college courses themselves. 

 

Those are test scores, so at that point I start to feel okay about it.  But not everyone takes those tests.  Some don't go on to college.  That's where I feel lost on the mom diplomas.  

[teachermom2834]

I have over time become "outsource everything" for high school. I found I just wasn't good at it and too burned out on homeschooling to invest the energy necessary to homeschool high school the way I wanted. I sometimes say I'm not homeschooling exactly but independently private schooling- or something like that.

 

I still think we reap benefits beyond just enrolling in school so it is still worth it to homeschool. We still have freedom to choose our courses and providers and the hours in class is still far less than five full school days each week. We can take far better advantage of dual enrollment and we miss out on some of the hoop jumping of public school and much of the negative social scene. For us outsourcing everything doesn't really look anything like public school life would.

 

But I do feel the need to qualify how we do it when someone is in awe of my homeschooling success.

[Bluegoat]

Well there's a few things at play:

 

-What the kids want

 

-What the parents want

 

-the level of education that best serves that particular student.

 

-Significant cost savings of duel enrollment for some families (sending a child to our state's version of DE, Running Start, is tuition free for a child without a high school diploma. It's $5500+ per year for high school graduates.)

 

We are one of those families...my older son is either headed to a specialized STEM high school with opportunities I can't match at home (it's a lottery to get in so we don't know yet) or some hybrid approach. That is what he wants and I don't see any reason why it's a bad choice for him. If he doesn't get to go to his first choice, the most likely alternative is taking 1-2 classes at the local high school with PT homeschooling for a year or so and then entering Running Start.

 

I know one retired homeschooling mom who had all 4 of her children do Running Start. The main consideration was economic. It cut their tuition bill for the local university by a lot. All four kids got 2 years of college for free and then three of them graduated from the local university in just two years and 1 of them in 3 years. That's 9 years of tuition for them instead of 16-17. That's a very big consideration for families who don't qualify for need based financial aid. They live a short bus ride from the state's flagship university and the deal was that the parents had the money for two years tuition, fees and books each.

 

This make me think of something.

 

Most people who homeschool, even for philosophic reasons, aren't on principle against the kind of teaching that goes on in colleges, universities, and other post-secondary instititions.

 

High school kids are not that far removed from that age, and it makes sense that at their level, the teaching methods, at least for some subjects, would tend to be have a lot more in common with those kinds of institutions.  If university style teaching is ok for a 17 or 18 year old, its hard to see why it would be so strange for a 16 or 17 year old.  And the other side of the coin is being taught by mom, as an individual student, at that point might be rather different than what the student would see at the next level.

[Bluegoat]

Those are test scores, so at that point I start to feel okay about it.  But not everyone takes those tests.  Some don't go on to college.  That's where I feel lost on the mom diplomas.  

 

Hmm, well, what is the point of a ps diploma, when you come down to it?  Neither is really what being educated is about.

[Wheres Toto]

This is probably the wrong kind of I Don't Get, but I don't get how people can find good friends for their DC while homeschooling if not part of some sort of large community group that meets more than once/week.  DD has only ever made good friends in the year and a half she was in a B&M school; it takes her a while to make friends and she seems to need a large pool of them (10-15 girls, together all day every school day) to make a strong connection with a few.  We've tried interest-based activities, classes, online classes, sports, park days, etc. and they just never have the consistency, longevity, and variety of kids that B&M school does.

 

How do you all find friends for your kids?  This makes me crazy.  I don't see it getting easier as they get older, either.

 

 

I guess the only other thing I don't get is Legos.  Our kids like them, of course, but they leave them in little bits and piles all over the house every time we have them, so they have been banned.  How do you convince kids to keep them in a certain (out of the way) area all the time?  How do your toddlers not eat them?

 

I had to seek out and create a couple of regularly scheduled activities in order for my kids to find good friends.

 

We belong to a church and they are in Sunday School and choir with the same kids every week.

Dh and I run a 4-H STEM club that meets twice a month, plus additional field trips and county activities.

They do TKD 2-3 times a week.  My oldest made many good friends at dance but we're not getting it as much with TKD.  I'm not sure if it's because it's not necessarily the same kids every time or if its the lack of time hanging out outside of class.  My dd was a competitive dancer so there was tons of time hanging out together at competitions.

They do homeschool swimming lessons and I could see a few friendships forming there.  Hard to tell if they'll be the type that carry to outside of class.

We belong to a local lake that has a bunch of kids and dd did swim team last year. No super-close friendships but kids she could hang out with at the lake.

 

I'm getting ready to start a homeschool Pokemon/D&D club, a homeschool robotics class, and eventually science classes.  We'll see if any of these lead to friendships.

[luuknam]

Hmm, well, what is the point of a ps diploma, when you come down to it?  Neither is really what being educated is about.

 

It shows to potential employers and tertiary educational institutions that the person in question has attained a certain level of education and skills. Or, at least, it should. In NL, it does a pretty good job of that - there are 3 secondary education streams, with different diplomas, half of the GPA is determined by a national exam, half by the school the student attended (and schools are investigated it the discrepancy between school scores and national exam scores is too big). Whereas in the US, nobody trusts high school diplomas anymore because too many kids get one while being basically illiterate (the GED was designed to be failed by 40% of high school seniors, and the GED was, when I took it, at maybe an 8th grade level... most of those 40% would still go on to get a high school diploma).

 

ETA: wanted to add that I don't think 8th grade is illiterate... just that there are too many stories of kids getting a high school diploma who *are* basically illiterate... like, way below 8th grade level.

Edited January 16, 2017 by luuknam

[poppy]

I had to seek out and create a couple of regularly scheduled activities in order for my kids to find good friends.

 

We belong to a church and they are in Sunday School and choir with the same kids every week.

Dh and I run a 4-H STEM club that meets twice a month, plus additional field trips and county activities.

They do TKD 2-3 times a week.  My oldest made many good friends at dance but we're not getting it as much with TKD.  I'm not sure if it's because it's not necessarily the same kids every time or if its the lack of time hanging out outside of class.  My dd was a competitive dancer so there was tons of time hanging out together at competitions.

They do homeschool swimming lessons and I could see a few friendships forming there.  Hard to tell if they'll be the type that carry to outside of class.

We belong to a local lake that has a bunch of kids and dd did swim team last year. No super-close friendships but kids she could hang out with at the lake.

 

I'm getting ready to start a homeschool Pokemon/D&D club, a homeschool robotics class, and eventually science classes.  We'll see if any of these lead to friendships.

 

Every single how do I make friends ends up "at church".  I'm about to fake belief. (I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one......)

[Bluegoat]

It shows to potential employers and tertiary educational institutions that the person in question has attained a certain level of education and skills. Or, at least, it should. In NL, it does a pretty good job of that - there are 3 secondary education streams, with different diplomas, half of the GPA is determined by a national exam, half by the school the student attended. Whereas in the US, nobody trusts high school diplomas anymore because too many kids get one while being basically illiterate (the GED was designed to be failed by 40% of high school seniors, and the GED was, when I took it, at maybe an 8th grade level... most of those 40% would still go on to get a high school diploma).

 

This is kind of what I was getting at - the only concrete purpose is to show that a particular level of work is completed.  So for a diploma from home, is that less likely to show that?  I can see why someone might think not, but I'm not sure if that is actually accurate.  Universities seem to find them to be reliable enough to be useful.

[HS Mom in NC]

I'm such a disappointment. I've never made a tatertot casserole in my life and have no plans to do so. Ever. It sounds disgusting.

 

I can't remember the Bible reference, it's probably in Leviticus, but the only way God fearing people cook tater tots is in a single layer on a baking sheet in the oven until they're crispy, and then they're eaten one at a time dipped in either Sriracha or ketchup.  All else is a violation of God's natural order.

[eternalsummer]

Every single how do I make friends ends up "at church".  I'm about to fake belief. (I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one......)

 

Yes, I can see how it would be easier to make friends if you homeschooled and belonged in an active way to a church.  Without church the route just gets much narrower.

[Serenade]

Timelines. I so want to do timelines. I have 3 timeline books and yet…we've never done timelines.

[luuknam]

This is kind of what I was getting at - the only concrete purpose is to show that a particular level of work is completed.  So for a diploma from home, is that less likely to show that?  I can see why someone might think not, but I'm not sure if that is actually accurate.  Universities seem to find them to be reliable enough to be useful.

 

Universities make money by enrolling students. Are there universities that give out scholarships to kids with only a mommy diploma and no outside test scores, DE classes, student interview, etc to verify that mommy didn't just lock the kids in the basement for 18 years and then slapped a bunch of straight As on the diploma?

 

Employers already don't tend to care for high school diplomas, because the PS ones can't be trusted. We need to go back to where employers can trust PS high school diplomas, so they'll hire people without a college degree for positions which should not require a college degree.

 

ETA: but, statistically speaking, I don't know what the breakdown is on reliability of a mommy diploma vs a PS diploma in the US.

Edited January 16, 2017 by luuknam

[Bluegoat]

Every single how do I make friends ends up "at church".  I'm about to fake belief. (I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one......)

 

I've found church to be the place I'm most likely to make friends.  If I take it apart though, it makes sense - I am there, for years, at least once a week, sometimes more.  It's a fairly stable group of people with some commonalities.  There is opportunity for discussions about important ideas.  There is a need for smaller group activities where I see the same people more intimatly (running the cofee hour, say, or a discussion group, outreach.)

 

And once you make a few friends that way, it really facilitates meeting more.

 

Other places that are good for meeting friends usually have similar kinds of advantages, but a lot don't have as many.

[Bluegoat]

Universities make money by enrolling students. Are there universities that give out scholarships to kids with only a mommy diploma and no outside test scores, DE classes, student interview, etc to verify that mommy didn't just lock the kids in the basement for 18 years and then slapped a bunch of straight As on the diploma?

 

Employers already don't tend to care for high school diplomas, because the PS ones can't be trusted. We need to go back to where employers can trust PS high school diplomas, so they'll hire people without a college degree for positions which should not require a college degree.

 

ETA: but, statistically speaking, I don't know what the breakdown is on reliability of a mommy diploma vs a PS diploma in the US.

 

Yeah, I think some universities here will.  Canada doesn't have the same hothouse atmosphere that the US does around university admissions.  Heck, I have a friend who went to the same university as me who didn't have a diploma at all, he was kicked out of high school.  He wrote them a letter and they agreed to let him in.

 

I've never really had an employer ask to see my diploma, even the ones that didn't care about my post-secondary schooling. But I think generally there is a view that a hs diploma in Canada is a reasonably useful guide.  Universities don't expect SATs or anything like that, they make their decisions mainly on the hs marks.