Jump to content

Menu

Do your kids like to travel?


3andme
 Share

Recommended Posts

I've always loved traveling both as a kid and as an adult.  Now that my dh has retired, I was hoping we would be able to do some traveling in the US and abroad.  We have been on a few family trips (Hawaii, Grand Canyon, San Francisco) which I would say were moderately successful - no one raved about them but they seemed to enjoy it for the most part.

 

However, my dh and kids (ds 10, 13, and 15) just don't seem enthusiastic about going anywhere else. I have proposed Europe, the Caribbean, Australia, Alaska, etc.  Same response, not really that interested. I'm not sure if this is typical of kids their ages or just their personalities. I don't want to push them to do something they don't care for, esp. when it's expensive, but I wonder if they will eventually regret missing these opportunities. 

 

Just wondering if anyone else has struggled with a similar situation or can offer perspective on other kids' reactions to travelling.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's personality.

 

My kids are a mix, some are eager travelers and some more reluctant.

 

Some people enjoy the trip once they are under way, they're just reluctant to leave home. In that case I'd plan a trip and take them in spite of apparent reluctance. If they are miserable the whole time they are traveling that is a different matter.

Edited by maize
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mine don't have a choice. They've all lived on five continents. We don't travel as much as some in our situation due to cost (lots of kids, single income) but we do our best to travel in the region as much as possible, as well as utilizing rest stops and layovers to our advantage. The appreciation for their experiences comes with time, and is often only truly understood by them when they see others pointing it out in terms of admiration and envy for their life. I think it has made them be very much global citizens, with a tolerance and patience for differences that would be hard to replicate in a static environment. It will be interesting to me to see which of them will continue to live globally, and who among them will buy a cottage in the woods and never leave.

 

If your family has not enjoyed the travel you've done so far, don't discount travel altogether. Think about what sort of things, and what sort of pace, makes your guys happy. Nature, lots of down time, amazing food, water, rustic, luxury...?Travel doesn't have to be sightseeing in major cities or crowds.

 

Fear of the unknown is hard for people, even if they don't think of it as fear. It's hard for people to long for something they've never truly experienced. This thought consoles us in regards to all the family members who've never visited us in 14 years overseas.

 

My random thoughts.

 

Maybe plan a trip for yourself? Good luck.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oldest child rarely likes to travel. Middle child likes it a lot more. Youngest is still young enough to go along with things. They're 17, 16, and 9.

 

It helps if we tell them exactly what we'll do and also give them options to choose from, or best of all, ask them what they want to see and do. Be flexible. Oldest ds sat in our apartment in Mexico City for three weeks while middle ds and I explored the city together but that was much better than making him go out with us. Once we sent oldest ds to stay with family in the US rather than going on a trip with the rest of us. Everyone was happy. Traveling with a child who really doesn't want to be there can easily ruin the trip. But oldest ds just went to London with dh and loved it when he was in control of the itinerary.

 

Middle ds loves history so he's happy to go to places he's read about.

 

Try to plan things your kids will like doing. We went to about seven lego stores in Europe last summer in the middle of seeing castles. It wasn't the trip I would have planned, but everyone had a great time. Mostly, I have a good time if my children are happy and I can save what I want to do for trips with dh or on my own.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mine are never enthusiastic about traveling beforehand (unless it's Disney) - they picture us sitting in buses doing "city tours," and they whine that they "hate sightseeing."  But we try to include things they will enjoy and remember positively.  They like hotels and swimming.  Nature hikes and unique adventures (such as ziplining over the jungle canopy, swimming with dolphins) and lazy stuff such as sightseeing boats keep things interesting for everyone.  Being allowed to eat whatever they want is a plus.  :)  A cruise is nice because you can see a lot without having to pack and unpack your bags every day.

 

At the ages of your kids, I'd ask them to come up with their own ideas or to rank preferences for destinations, then work together on planning a fun trip.  If they are absolutely opposed to going, then maybe find a friend who will travel with you.  Life is too short to deprive yourself of the travel you crave.  :)

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

DS21 adores traveling. He'd spend all his money on plane tickets to far away places if he could. He's hoping he can spend some time rattling around Central and/or South America between college graduation and full time career start.

 

DS18 is more of a routine oriented homebody. He's also an Aspie (2e), so that might have something to do with it. Or maybe not -- I'm pretty much a homebody, too. I vastly prefer day trips and being home in my own bed at night. The older I get the more I loathe traveling. But DH loves to travel. So we've got kids who took after each of us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids (now aged 24, 22, and 21) all love traveling and always have.  It might be genetic from both hubby and I.  They started traveling with us weeks or months after being born, so were brought up thinking it's normal to go on road trips or up in the air.  We started letting them help plan destinations (and more) when they were young too - some years they had birthday trips rather than birthday parties.

 

In the college years they thanked us for spending so much time (and money) with them giving them various experiences (usually outdoors - National parks, hiking, etc).

 

I can't recall any complaining - ever.  On long road trips they made up their own game that they played together (some sort of trading game based upon what they saw outside - cows, water rights, etc).  On flights they loved window seats and looking at the world or clouds.  They loved trying new foods and seeing new sights.  I don't think they even thought about complaining TBH.  It just wasn't in their mindset - just as it isn't with hubby and I (nor was it in our youth).

 

I honestly don't know if it's genetic or just that this is the world they were born into and grew up with since babyhood.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of my kids generally prefers to stay home, but once on a trip enjoys it.  The other is always ready to go, anytime, anywhere; but that child also never wants to be home.  That can actually be exhausting so sometimes the homebody is easier.  :-)

 

I would not worry about kids' future regrets over not taking travel opportunities. They may never care, or they may change over time, and when adults may have their own opportunities.   At one point a few years ago we wondered if we'd deprived our kids of a Typical American Experience by never taking them to Disney. When we asked, they said they had no interest.  I admit I was a little sad about that; I have fond memories of Disneyland as a teen and young adult.  But, another part of me was like "Whew; that'll save  us a ton of $$ and hassle."    But who knows, in 10 years time they may have kids of their own and adore Disney.  

 

It is hard, I know, when some want to go and some want to stay home.  I love to travel but our opportunities have dwindled (lack of time and $$).  

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you have the funds and opportunity to travel with your kids, go for it! I am a strong believer in travel as the best way of learning! As they get older they will look back on it with great appreciation. I strongly suggest trying to find a variety of experiences while traveling, doing things they like and finding opportunities to get to know the people who live there if you can.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dh is not big on travel. He will do it on occasion and have fun while we are traveling but prefers to be at home. My boys also enjoy travel while it is happening but aren't big on doing it...they don't like the aggravations of travel like waiting for planes and aren't all that into walking all over the place to see things. Ds19 likes meeting people and playing his music which is usually his main reason for travel now. My dd and I love to travel and have fun through all the phases from packing, to waiting to get there, to walking all over and seeing things, etc...the only part we would both prefer to avoid is going back home and unpacking. 

 

We've done a fair amount of travel as a family from a five week trip across the US visiting national parks to Ireland (once as a whole family and numerous times with different members going). Dd and I travel very regularly, sometimes with ds19 going along (grumbling, mostly). 

 

Would it help to include them in the planning? Maybe not asking whether they want to come along but asking where they would like to go (giving choices or not depending on budget and time constraints)? What would they like to see? What would make it "more fun" for them? What's their ideal vacation? I imagine that it must be hard to please all of them at the same time.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would think at those ages I would just plan the trips and drag them along and they will enjoy it more than they might express.  I remember as a kid going on a three-week trip to Europe with my family. Beforehand I was upset about not being able to spend three weeks at home hanging out with friends and such.  But now it's one of my favorite memories.

 

My kids do love to travel.  We move cross-country frequently and they like the idea of planning out the roadtrips and staying in hotels and such. They don't even mind being in the car all that much.  They would probably kill for an airplane trip somewhere (they were mad that I got to ride on one to go to a funeral a couple months ago), but it's just not feasible for us to get that many plane tickets at this point in our lives.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes. But traveling has been an integral part of our lives since before they were born (4 of our 6 were born overseas). It's an adventure to them, and they are all about adventure! I think some depends on personality, but a lot also depends on exposure. Even my homebody two are up for traveling, because traveling brings memories of good times, good people, fun stories. One thing that helps a lot is that we generally enjoy the same things in a trip, so we don't have that tension of different people wanting very different things from it. And everybody is pretty flexible about things going "wrong." It's just part of the adventure (and they do see the potential of the fun stories in that).

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My older ones dislike travel, although they love hotels with swimming pools. Eldest doesn't like the "travel" part of travel - as in riding in the car for hours or getting motion sick on airplanes. She likes new places. The other two like to sleep in their own beds with a predictable routine.

 

In general, I still make them go. However, if there was too much whining, I'd just leave them home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids (now aged 24, 22, and 21) all love traveling and always have. It might be genetic from both hubby and I. They started traveling with us weeks or months after being born, so were brought up thinking it's normal to go on road trips or up in the air. We started letting them help plan destinations (and more) when they were young too - some years they had birthday trips rather than birthday parties.

 

In the college years they thanked us for spending so much time (and money) with them giving them various experiences (usually outdoors - National parks, hiking, etc).

 

I can't recall any complaining - ever. On long road trips they made up their own game that they played together (some sort of trading game based upon what they saw outside - cows, water rights, etc). On flights they loved window seats and looking at the world or clouds. They loved trying new foods and seeing new sights. I don't think they even thought about complaining TBH. It just wasn't in their mindset - just as it isn't with hubby and I (nor was it in our youth).

 

I honestly don't know if it's genetic or just that this is the world they were born into and grew up with since babyhood.

I vote genetic.

 

I grew up in a family that did a ton of traveling; some clearly enjoyed it more than others.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

MY DS14 loves to travel. We do travel a good bit I think, but not nearly as much as some others. We live in a small town and have done a major city every year for the last 6 summers. He has been cross country twice and this summer we are dong the Grand Canyon, Zion and Bryce. He really wants to go out of the country. DH and I traveled a good but out of the country before DS was born, but we have both developed decent case of anxiety and haven't taken him. He has two cousins 24 and 27 that LOVE LOVE LOVE to travel and offer to take him anywhere, but that makes me even more nervous!

I am trying to take him as much as we can, because at this point, it's just my anxiety getting in the way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids love traveling and "road trips." We haven't done as much as I'd like, but hopefully that is going to change, as we are planning to start doing family trips as Christmas gifts.

 

Right now we just can't stop going to Disney and make ourselves go anywhere else. The grandkids are just in that mode.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My children love to travel, almost more than anything.  Both my dh and I grew up in families who traveled a lot and had a lot of thrilling adventures, and we just expected it would be a big part of our marriage.  We began our marriage living in the Middle East.  In other words, we had it pretty much ingrained in our family even when our kids were very young.

 

Sometimes we would give each of our children a day that they had to plan.  It meant they had to research the area, and come up with things for the whole family to do but that they were really interested in.  It might be as simple as renting bikes and going on a picnic in a lovely park, or spending a day on the beach and taking surfing lessons.  I wonder if your kids would enjoy doing that?

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A fun aside - we did our DNA "23andme" and found that my kids are both basically from all over the globe.  I told them that is probably why they have always been pretty good travelers - it's in their blood.  They may or may not have enthusiastically agreed with that.  :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All three of my kids love to travel as does my husband and of course, I do too.  My kids didn't have a choice- they traveled from birth.  My oldest moved across the country when he was about a week old.  But it wasn't just a move.  We stopped at the Grand Canyon and saw a few other different interesting places.  He, of course, does not remember that move.  But he still has fairly good memories of his move when he was three and my youngest remembers her move when she was 2.5.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's a mixed bag with my kids.  Anticipation of a trip, they're rarely excited.  Sometimes they are whiny here and there.  But ALWAYS they find stuff to enjoy on trips and talk about things we've done YEARS after we've done them.  I think it's a rare kid who is always the enthusiastic and engaged traveler.  I think tweens are kind of the toughest.  But those are years many kids are just naturally negative anyway. 

 

I know I wasn't always the best traveler as a kid.  But our family vacations are some of my most treasured childhood memories and I absolutely relish and adore travel as an adult.   My kids have traveled their entire lives. 

Edited by WoolySocks
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think that even for a mature person who enjoys traveling, there are a lot of less-fun things about traveling. And particularly for kids, they have very little control over the environment while traveling. There is a lot of waiting, sitting, not doing much, boring walking, carrying luggage, sleeping in different places, eating different things, that can be hard to deal with. Sure, there are tons of fun things, too, but being out of their familiar setting may be more in their thoughts.

 

I think that it's great for children to have an opportunity to travel, though, and it seems like you've given them a great variety of places to see and different ways to travel. They may end up craving more travel as adults, or they may not. At least they know what they're missing if they decide not to travel too much more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids love traveling but they want to pick destinations. They just sleep through the boring parts of the itinerary though now that they are older. They used to complain. Hotels are very important to them. That's the first thing they ask about. The second most important is food. The third most important to them is lots of people. My kids rank Europe above Australia. They are not interested in Alaska.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, mine loves almost nothing better. Things like long layovers are the stuff of dreams and he cannot comprehend how anyone would not love them. ( "Remember that time we got to stay in the Munich airport for eight hours?! Can we do that again soon but stay longer?") He has detailed lists in his head of every airport lounge and what foods they serve and how they compare to other lounges, and another list of favorite airlines and what makes them most memorable. He loves hotels, he loves museums, he loves trains, he loves busses, he loves cars, he loves ships, he loves trams, he loves metros. He adores speaking other languages (it is amazing how quickly a kid can pick up ordering ice cream and how to say "May I pet your dog?") and eating local specialties. I do wish he would not take staying awake on long international flights as a fun personal challenge, and it would be nice if he were not so grumpy about returning home and unpacking (though I can relate), but overall I am thrilled that he enjoys traveling as much as he does and is always up for an adventure. :). I don't know what I would do if I'd gotten a homebody model!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mine love traveling, including long road trips, which is fortunate because we do a lot of it! But it could be personality. They like almost everything they do- books, movies, sports, field trips, eating... There's not much they don't like and try pretty much anything.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the replies.  I have solicited input from the kids and tried to incorporate kid friendly activities in our past trips but I would say the engagement level was not high. I guess it's mostly a personality thing. My husband traveled a fair amount growing up and as an adult but does not have fond memories and is very sensitive to not forcing our kids to travel. I've talked to the kids some more and I think I will try  a new approach. I am just going to take the older two on a cruise from our local home port. That way no tedious car or plane rides. My youngest who is the most unwilling to travel will stay home with Dad. If this doesn't work, I'll have to take some solo trips to satisfy my urge to travel.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids love to travel. We haven't been anywhere just to travel, it's always to visit family or to tag along on my husband's work trips which I think makes things a little different.

 

We take it really easy and do things at the kids' pace. We went to D.C. this past spring and probably could have seen twice as much if we pushed it, but instead took time to just hang out at a local park and to swim in the hotel pool. I think partly some people just like to travel and some don't. Sometimes its people like to travel just not the way others do. For instance my SIL is a lovely person but our travel styles are quite different. When we were in Ireland together it worked out better to split up and then have a set meeting time. Your kids aren't quite old enough for that but maybe you could take one or two kids while your husband takes the other ones so you can better meet individual interests.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Be sure to build a positive narrative around the trip, too. Talking, reminding, reliving the parts they enjoyed - even telling them the parts they enjoyed. It seems a bit woo-woo, but it helps.

 

Rather than focus on the scary tornado warning while we were at the rest stop (who knew they have basements?), we relive the hilarious relief that although we had locked all the keys in the car, we left the door open and it rained in. Hard.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mine all do, as do my husband and I, but we have fairly different interests, so it behooves me (as Chief Planner) to try to work out a way to hit everyone's sweet spot at least once in the course of every few days (i.e., my younger daughter would happily spend a whole DAY in a museum, the other likes to wander street markets and sample intrepid food, the younger and my son like to bike and hike, my husband adores a good Factory Tour, my son likes to take architecture tours/walking plans, I like to hang out in little cafes people-watching, etc).  When folks know they'll be doing something they really like tomorrow, they've got more patience with doing a sibling's or parent's "thing" today.

 

We've also worked out a handful of crowd-pleasers we ALL enjoy (homestays with local families, snorkeling, taking cooking classes), so I actively look for those.  I also try, particularly on road trips, to figure out substantive places to STOP, even overnight, rather than doing the 12-hour-capsule-in-the-hermetically-sealed-car thing.

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids love to travel. After nearly 9 months of travel, they were well ready to settle down for a while. Within 9 months of staying home and getting settled in our new home, they were ready to hit the road again. 

We have been doing the boring kind of back-and-forth family and necessity travel. If we were to offer a real vacation, they would snap up the opportunity. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids are young (almost 6, 4, 1) but since we are expats for a temporary time we are making the best of living abroad. They've always been excited, but we also have learned to travel well with them in mind. If I really want to go to an art museum, I tell them there's a chocolate museum to visit right afterward. Almost all of our trips have been due to our own (adult) interest in history and culture. But we have also done a Disneyland Paris trip and are hoping to go to Legoland Germany. We recently just spent the night in a castle, but that was fun for everyone :)

 

I think my kids don't know what it's like to NOT travel. We have been very blessed to be over here in Europe. When we move back to the states we hope to find creative ways to travel with our growing family. Maybe get an RV or camp along the way? Take advantage of the grandparents timeshare and use them to cover hotel costs? These are just some of our own ideas. But mostly we just don't want to stop traveling.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Talk it out with your dh about one or two possible destinations.

At this point, your kids aren't really "old enough" to see the importance of what you're talking about.

They may not be overly enthusiastic about the idea but will most likely appreciate the experience and the memories later.

Way too many US kids (and adults!) have never even been outside their hometown (let alone the US)!

Pick a destination and GO! They'll thank you later!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...