Charlie Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 The other night I couldn't sleep. Dh snored peacefully while I read my kindle. After about an hour and a half he woke up. DH: "I haven't slept all night." Me: "Honey, you've been cutting logs for an hour and a half." "Really?" "Yep." "You still awake?" "Yep." "Can't sleep?" "Nope." "Clowns will eat you?" "Yes honey. Clowns will eat me." He turned over and fell asleep. Within two snores he was chuckling. I love hearing stories about what people say in their sleep. Next? 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forty-two Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 :lol: Is he a Simpsons fan? (Dh and I are always quoting that line: "Can't sleep. Clown will eat me.") 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 :lol: Is he a Simpsons fan? (Dh and I are always quoting that line: "Can't sleep. Clown will eat me.") Is that where he got it?!? :laugh: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forty-two Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Is that where he got it?!? :laugh: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 That is hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) That is hilarious. Right? Last night he asked me where the flatterninge was. I said, "What?" He asked louder, "WHERE'S THE FLATTERNINGE?" I said, "It's under the thing!" He woke up a bit more and said, "What the heck is that?" "I DON'T KNOW! WHAT THE HECK IS A FLATTERNINGE?!?" *Grumble grumble snore* I love sleep-talking conversations! Share yours, please! Edited January 7, 2017 by Charlie 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) No, he said that because it is true. Clowns *will* eat you. Clowns are evil. People prepare for zombies, but the real danger is clowns. Edited January 7, 2017 by Mom-ninja. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 No, he said that because it is true. Clowns *will* eat you. Clowns are evil. People prepare for zombies, but the real danger are clowns. That explains the magnet a friend gave dh for Christmas one year: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I've been told by someone coming out of a seizure, and kept trying to get up even though they couldn't, that they were going to the Mysterious Realm. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 DD7 (when she was 5) started demanding popcorn in her sleep. She also about the same time asked "what color is my rear end?" That one stumped me. I answered same as your other skin :huh: . The funniest are after waking from anesthesia. DH asked if he had told anyone the Swiss bank account numbers. :smilielol5: 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) 😂😂 My oldest is my only sleep-talker. Once she sleep texted me, "We're late because we're centered at the crossroads and can't get through the centrifages." Her boyfriend said he was driving her home and she fell asleep. About a mile from the house she sat up in a wild eyed panic typed out the text and then threw herself into the seat back and started snoring. When she was a toddler she kept getting lost as trying to pee in the pantry. Twice she let herself out of the house as a grade schooler, and she once broke her elbow during a particularly energetic bout of sleep walking. Edited January 7, 2017 by Barb_ 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I know someone who when waking up from a surgery was asked by a nurse if he could hear her. He responded by saying, "Yes, officer I can touch my nose," and preceded to try and touch his nose. The nurse looked at me and said although she's heard a lot of things from people waking up from surgery that one was a first, and it made her day. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 This was my post from last month Everyone is asleep except me.....I hear a commotion in Ds's16 room....and him talking......so I get up and open his door....he has his head raised up looking at me. I said, 'are you ok?' He says ' yeah, I just accidentally set off a trip wire in my pillow case'. I said, ' a trip wire in your what?' He repeats in my pillowcase. I said,ok, well go back to sleep. He says, " that makes sense right?.' I said not really there is no trip wire in your pillow case, he says well I understand what you are saying but there is this this little wire.....I said, ok go to sleep now. Meanwhile ....I am LOLand dying laughing so hard. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 😂😂 My oldest is my only sleep-talker. Once she sleep texted me, "We're late because we're centered at the crossroads and can't get through the centrifages." Her boyfriend said he was driving her home and she fell asleep. About a mile from the house she sat up in a wild eyed panic typed out the text and then threw herself into the seat back and started snoring. This made me snort. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 The other night bf said, "what is a name for an apple that still has seeds?" And I was like, "what...? You're sleeping." And he says, "Corey." And went right on snoring. Get you a man who tries to tell jokes in his sleep :p At least it was better than a couple of weeks ago when he was whispering all horror movie-style and freaked me out. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 The other night bf said, "what is a name for an apple that still has seeds?" And I was like, "what...? You're sleeping." And he says, "Corey." And went right on snoring. Get you a man who tries to tell jokes in his sleep :p At least it was better than a couple of weeks ago when he was whispering all horror movie-style and freaked me out. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) Okay, some of you may appreciate this: Pillow Talk Not safe for kids. Or anyone who is easily offended. Edited January 7, 2017 by MercyA 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Dd6 woke up in the middle of the night: 'Are you ophidiopobic? Well, you SHOULD BE!!! I WANT to EAT YOU!!!! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 This was my post from last month Everyone is asleep except me.....I hear a commotion in Ds's16 room....and him talking......so I get up and open his door....he has his head raised up looking at me. I said, 'are you ok?' He says ' yeah, I just accidentally set off a trip wire in my pillow case'. I said, ' a trip wire in your what?' He repeats in my pillowcase. I said,ok, well go back to sleep. He says, " that makes sense right?.' I said not really there is no trip wire in your pillow case, he says well I understand what you are saying but there is this this little wire.....I said, ok go to sleep now. Meanwhile ....I am LOLand dying laughing so hard. This made me laugh so hard, Scarlett. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCB Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I tend to say crazy things when asleep. One night my daughter came in to say goodnight to me and I said "Are we big or little?" I had been reading that Michael Crighton book about a machine that shrank people. She thought it was crazy and hysterical. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Okay, some of you may appreciate this: Pillow Talk Not safe for kids. Or anyone who is easily offended. I laughed so hard I couldn't keep eating my popcorn. That was hilarious, although yes a little 'R' rated. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 The other night bf said, "what is a name for an apple that still has seeds?" And I was like, "what...? You're sleeping." And he says, "Corey." And went right on snoring. Get you a man who tries to tell jokes in his sleep :p At least it was better than a couple of weeks ago when he was whispering all horror movie-style and freaked me out. LOL......when I was 18 and my brother was 14 he was at my apartment for the night. He was in the floor in a sleeping bag and he woke up to me saying, shhhhhh. He said what? I said, ' a secret is a secret so there!' He said 'ok' and I laid back down and went to sleep. I have said some crazy stuff over the years. Once I woke up to my now Xh standing by the door of the bedroom with the light on saying,'where Scarlett? I dont see a snake', apparently I was convinced a big snake was on the window sill by our bed. That was the beginning of my snake dreams. That particular night I was dreaming that a huge Python style snake was wrapped around the inside window sill. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) My ds was really sick with a high fever. He was sleeping in my bed for the day and the other kids and I were in the room playing a game on the computer together. I walked over to check on him and saw he was sleeping with his hand tucked up the front of his shirt. I felt his forehead and he bolted and started fa-reaking out and yelling about his missing hand. "My hand is GONE!It's just gone!" We all still crack up at this story. Same son, I went into his room because I heard him sleep talking. He sat up and looked around, robotically saying, "beep, boop boop, beep, beep." Then he laid back down. I had tears in my eyes, I was laughing so hard. Edited January 7, 2017 by Miss Peregrine 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 My ds was really sick with a high fever. He was sleeping in my bed for the day and the other kids and I were in the room playing a game on the computer together. I walked over to check on him and saw he was sleeping with his hand tucked up the front of his shirt. I felt his forehead and he bolted and started fa-reaking out and yelling about his missing hand. "My hand is GONE!It's just gone!" We all still crack up at this story. Same son, I went into his room because I heard him sleep talking. He sat up and looked around, robotically saying, "beep, boop boop, beep, beep." Then he laid back down. I had tears in my eyes, I was laughing so hard. LOL.....those are hilarious. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) Hilarious. My husband is quite the sleep talker. He can even open his eyes, converse and still be functionally asleep. Sometimes I have resorted to asking increasingly funny questions to gauge if he is waking up or if he is still asleep. Edited January 7, 2017 by LucyStoner 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 When I was growing up, my best friend was a sleep walker (& talker). I spent the night at her house often & got used to the weirdness. One time, I woke up because she was getting up in the middle of the night. I figured she was going to the bathroom. Instead, she walked into her closet (which was not a walk-in closet) & just stood there. I asked her what she was doing & she said, "Standing in the closet". :001_huh: :lol: I don't know why it's funny since it was true, but I told her to go back to bed so she did. Another time, we had gone to see Raiders of the Lost Ark. In the middle of the night, I wake because she's screaming & jumping up & down on the bed, "There's a snake in the bed!!! There's a snake in the bed!!!" It took awhile for both her parents & me to calm her down after that one. The next day, when her dad & I told her about it, she wouldn't believe us. I don't think she ever believed that she really did that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoutingmom Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 My brother Set up and asked/yelled in a incredulous tone... "30 years!?!". I think he must have be been convicted of murder of something in his sleep.... Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 A few years ago we were on a trip in our RV. The boys have bunks but (of course) we're all in fairly close proximity. It was around 2:30-3:00 a.m. and I was awake staring at the ceiling when all of a sudden DS (now 18) shouts "No more questions, please!!" I started laughing so hard it was a wonder I didn't wake everyone up. The next morning I told him about it and he didn't remember a thing. He was a fan of those TV judge shows (Judge Judy, Judge Joe) when he was younger. :lol: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaneEyre Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) I have said some crazy stuff over the years. Once I woke up to my now Xh standing by the door of the bedroom with the light on saying,'where Scarlett? I dont see a snake', apparently I was convinced a big snake was on the window sill by our bed. That was the beginning of my snake dreams. That particular night I was dreaming that a huge Python style snake was wrapped around the inside window sill. My mom (who's a little superstitious) always told me that if you dream of a snake it means you have an enemy. If you kill the snake in the dream then you will defeat the enemy. Edited January 7, 2017 by JaneEyre 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Ds asleep some years ago, "Be very, very, very careful when you teleport!" :lol: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Just a couple of weeks ago, I was reading my Kindle in bed and DH woke up and tried to convince me I didn't need to go get ds from work who works the graveyard shift. He couldn't get a complete sentence out and was saying he felt weird like he had cotton in his head. I got him to lay back down and he fell back asleep. In the morning, he did recall the incident though. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purpleowl Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 DD#1 is a sleep walker/talker. I am blanking on funny things she's said, except that once I asked her name (it starts with a C) and she said, "C-- ... C-- ... [sister's Name]." I'm an occasional sleep talker too. One morning I woke up with an extra blanket on my side of the bed. Weird, so I asked DH about it. "You told me you wanted a towel for your feet. I asked if a blanket was okay and you said you guessed that would work, so I gave you one." 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) When I was 16 I had to work early in the morning - a 3am wake up for me. One particular night I "woke" up around 11pm and found my dad. Here was the conversation. Me: Um, what, um, talk is it? Dad: Do you mean what time is it? Me: Yeah, time. Dad: 11pm Me: Ok, so it's 11 in my room too, right? The next day my dad said he didn't realize my room was in a different time zone. My favorite was in college. I woke my bf up, and told him I had a super important question to ask him. If cows in Texas are stolen, and taken to New York, who do the cows belong to? After that whenever I woke him up with a super important question he would ask if I was awake first. That usually woke me up all the way. Another time in college I "woke" up and had this overwhelming feeling that I had to get the Twizzlers to the kitchen immediately. I grabbed the bag, and ran to the kitchen in a panic. I fully woke up after I slammed them on the counter, and found my roommates and their boyfriends laughing at me. My dh learned early in our marriage that just because I'm talking to you, and seemingly making sense, it doesn't guarantee that I'm awake. Kelly Edited January 7, 2017 by SquirrellyMama 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 My mom (who's a little superstitious) always told me that if you dream of a snake it means you have an enemy. If you kill the snake in the dream then you will defeat the enemy. I am not superstitious, but after a few years of dreaming about snakes I did a little reading. Simliar to what your mom thinks it can represent that there is evil going on in your life. I am a believer of Satan pretending to be a snake in the Garden of Eden, so it isn't a stretch for me that my mind goes to snakes when bad things are going on in my life. My first snakes dreams were when I was 20 and a former boyfriend from high had been murdered, as the years passed and I got over his death somewhat the dreams subsided.....I never again had dreams of giant pythons being on my bedroom window sill, but if my life was turned upside down and I was feeling betrayed by someone I would again dream about snakes. And the size of the snake seems to correlate with the serious of the drama in my life. Recently I dreamed of a tiny snake that didn't frighten me at all and I was aware in my dream that oh this is because whatever is bothering me is pretty small. Dreams are fascinating to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Ugh, clowns creep me out and every time I scrolled past this thread title last night I started panicking a little. Better after sleep. Anyway, DH wears a CPAP. The other night, I was reading and he had already gone to sleep. Suddenly, he bolted up, ripped his mask off, and started "strangling" it at arm's length. Me: "What the heck just happened?" DH: (after about 30 seconds of silence and confused mumbling) "There was a raccoon attacking my face." He doesn't quite remember this event occurring. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 A few months ago Dh woke me up when I heard him saying, "La cucaracha....la cucaracha...no puede caminar." 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 Hilarious. My husband is quite the sleep talker. He can even open his eyes, converse and still be functionally asleep. Sometimes I have resorted to asking increasingly funny questions to gauge if he is waking up or if he is still asleep. What's the weirdest conversation you can remember steering him through? My husband doesn't respond well to questions, but one of my kids does. They're getting older now and stay up later than I, but more than once I've bolted to one child's room as he was hollering. I thought there was someone in there, because, why else would he be hollering like that? Well, he was just making sure whoever he was talking to could hear him tell them about the yellow pen which turned into a mountain that made the flarblegargensons. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 Ugh, clowns creep me out and every time I scrolled past this thread title last night I started panicking a little. Better after sleep. Anyway, DH wears a CPAP. The other night, I was reading and he had already gone to sleep. Suddenly, he bolted up, ripped his mask off, and started "strangling" it at arm's length. Me: "What the heck just happened?" DH: (after about 30 seconds of silence and confused mumbling) "There was a raccoon attacking my face." He doesn't quite remember this event occurring. Oh no! I'm sorry! But I'm still giggling. Bad Charlie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 What's the weirdest conversation you can remember steering him through? My husband doesn't respond well to questions, but one of my kids does. They're getting older now and stay up later than I, but more than once I've bolted to one child's room as he was hollering. I thought there was someone in there, because, why else would he be hollering like that? Well, he was just making sure whoever he was talking to could hear him tell them about the yellow pen which turned into a mountain that made the flarblegargensons. There's so many, all so weird that they blend together after 15 years of marriage. 😂 Once I told him that the house was on fire and his response was "the spoon and clock will take care of it" Another time I realized he was asleep when I asked who the President was (this was back in GWBs administration) and he told me it was "Eldridge Evers". I'm still not sure if he meant Eldridge Cleaver or Medgar Evers but we had recently watched a number of civil rights documentaries. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baseball mom Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I have been sitting here laughing reading these. Dh is the sleep talker. One night I was laying in bed reading and he was sleeping. All a sudden he says "the monkeys!". I said "what monkeys". He said "they are in the tree" Then rolled over and started snoring. :lol: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Ds7 tells ds9 to shut up in his sleep. Ds9 is quite noisy during the day so it really seems reasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I her sleep, my daughter once told me all about teaching the frogs grammar. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I keep coming back to this thread for the giggles. Also, I just remembered another one. When my oldest was in her early teens she was the only one with her own room. Sometimes she'd have trouble sleeping and talk one of the other ones into sharing her double bed with her. Dh went in on night on his way to bed and discovered the light still on and Meghan sitting up in bed looking confused. He asked why she was still up and she shouted gibberish a la Linda Blair--that startled the 11yo who was in the bed with her. Jenna gasped, jumped to her knees and started shouting, "Are you talkin' to me?? Are you talkin' to ME??" Then both flung themselves backward and fell immediately quiet like nothing had happened. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 DH talks in his sleep all the time. Perfectly normal coherent conversations, that he doesn't remember later. Eventually I developed the policy of just not talking to him while in bed unless he had just crawled in. A few times he has woke up to us having relations that he started. I don't mind because he'll follow instructions when in that state, i.e. Move your left leg, or go to sleep. After the first time I've been able to tell he was asleep. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minerva Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 We wake up my ds every night to go pee. Last night when I went.to get him he said, "Papa has to do it." When I asked him why he responded, "Because he caught the fish." Can't argue with that logic. Once I found my dd standing in front of the toilet in the middle of the night extremely agitated. When I asked her what was going on she kept shouting, "The video! The video!" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minerva Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 My ds was really sick with a high fever. He was sleeping in my bed for the day and the other kids and I were in the room playing a game on the computer together. I walked over to check on him and saw he was sleeping with his hand tucked up the front of his shirt. I felt his forehead and he bolted and started fa-reaking out and yelling about his missing hand. "My hand is GONE!It's just gone!" My dd always hallucinates when she has fevers. I find it terrifying. She mostly hears people talking to her that aren't there, or thinks we are all speaking in creepy voices, but sometimes she feels parts of her body changing, like a hand vanishing or her neck growing really long. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 My dd always hallucinates when she has fevers. I find it terrifying. She mostly hears people talking to her that aren't there, or thinks we are all speaking in creepy voices, but sometimes she feels parts of her body changing, like a hand vanishing or her neck growing really long. I had a fever of 106 a few years ago and started hearing a child telling me to "listen, can't you hear them coming." It was all about demons coming to get us. Scary stuff. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I was borrowing a college buddy's computer in his dorm room one night trying to finish a paper. Both he and his roommate had early classes so they went on to sleep while I kept working. About 2am the one in the bottom bunk said very firmly "No, you're wrong." The one in the top bunk stirred. The one in the bottom bunk repeated his statement, a bit louder. The one in the top bunk said "I'm never wrong, I'm just tall!" I guess that satisfied both of them because they got quiet again. I was a bit disappointed they didn't continue. It was a great distraction. 😀 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.