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At what point do we intervene?


Kinsa

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To be honest, I'd be considering buying a plane ticket at this point.  (Calling the police would be much more reasonable and not nearly as expensive.  But that's how worried I'd be.  I'd want to see her face.)

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Is this the sister in the custody battle? If so, I would consider how calling the police might impact that if there's a report. If this is same sister, can you get a hold of her lawyer first and let him/her know the story ? I would be worried but I wouldn't want to endanger her custody case either if she's needing a moment or something else. I am obviously the minority's voice here but I would try hard to find another way before involving the police immediately. The report will be public and ex-dh can use it against her if turns out all is fine and she just was depressed and wanted time alone. Not saying not to call, but I would exhaust all other options first.

 

If I'm confused and she's not the one in a custody battle I would just call the police.

 

I was wondering the same thing (if she's the sister in the custody battle) but my concern for her would outweigh my concern about how it might affect custody. The more I read your responses the more concerned I became. I hope you've called someone official. If she doesn't text, isn't answering her phone, her dh isn't really responding (surely he realizes family is worried), and this isn't normal for her, all of that together would scare me. 

 

Please let us know - we're all hoping for a happy ending.  :grouphug:

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I just read the whole thread-I don't know anyone involved and I'm still a nervous wreck!!  

 

Sending prayers!  I had to send the police out to my parent's house one time...it turned out that the phones were malfunctioning and they weren't getting any calls, but man, it scared me.  

 

Do not hesitate to call, better safe!!!

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I was wondering the same thing (if she's the sister in the custody battle) but my concern for her would outweigh my concern about how it might affect custody. The more I read your responses the more concerned I became. I hope you've called someone official. If she doesn't text, isn't answering her phone, her dh isn't really responding (surely he realizes family is worried), and this isn't normal for her, all of that together would scare me. 

 

Please let us know - we're all hoping for a happy ending.  :grouphug:

Unless I am mistaken, this is not the same sister.  This sister has adult children only.  They live in another state from her.  This sister does not appear to be the same sister with an abusive ex and custody issues over her minor children (as far as I can tell).

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I'm coming out of a long-term hiatus just to say: please call the police now. No need to get a family consensus about it. Who cares if everything turns out to be fine but she's mad about it.

 

I speak not from watching too many TV shows, but from personal experience. This exact same thing happened to a distant cousin. She was last seen on a Thursday, missed her restaurant shift on Friday night, and on Saturday, her birthday, no one could get a hold of her. I watched all the posts roll in on facebook because I'd just had my first baby and was in bed recovering and breastfeeding. They went from cheery "Happy Birthday, Sis!" to "Hey, when was the last time you heard from her?" And then everyone was driving to her state to figure out what was going on. She was reported missing on Sunday or Monday. Not trying to scare anyone, but her remains were found in two different places in the woods, 2 or 3 years later. The family is still working with law enforcement and private investigators to figure out what happened.

 

ETA: Her close family worked with Texas Equusearch and highly recommend them to all families with missing loved ones - they frequently reach out to others who find themselves in that situation, and it's become my favorite charity.

 

And I just want to add that I don't know my distant cousins particularly well. I may have met them when I was really little at a family reunion or something, but it's mainly because of social media that I got to know them at all. But thanks to all who have offered sympathy. :grouphug:

It just really had an impact on me because I was young and somewhat newly-wed and had just had a baby. Then this happened, and while it's not the first bad thing that happened to me or within my circles, it coincided with my entry into responsible adulthood, and colors the way I view the world.

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I'm coming out of a long-term hiatus just to say: please call the police now. No need to get a family consensus about it. Who cares if everything turns out to be fine but she's mad about it.

 

I speak not from watching too many TV shows, but from personal experience. This exact same thing happened to a distant cousin. She was last seen on a Thursday, missed her restaurant shift on Friday night, and on Saturday, her birthday, no one could get a hold of her. I watched all the posts roll in on facebook because I'd just had my first baby and was in bed recovering and breastfeeding. They went from cheery "Happy Birthday, Sis!" to "Hey, when was the last time you heard from her?" And then everyone was driving to her state to figure out what was going on. She was reported missing on Sunday or Monday. Not trying to scare anyone, but her remains were found in two different places in the woods, 2 or 3 years later. The family is still working with law enforcement and private investigators to figure out what happened.

Hugs to your family. How horrible.

 

This is exactly my fear for Kinsa's sister. What she described is sounding like the start of a Lisa Gardner novel....and that's never good.

 

Prayers for all of you Kinsa. I hope this is a simple misunderstanding.

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Coming out of nicu related awfulness to agree with everyone - Karen, that's a big deal. If the worst that happens is a welfare check she gets mad about you're in a good spot. But your instincts are screaming and so are everyone else's, and that isn't something to ignore.

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I'm coming out of a long-term hiatus just to say: please call the police now. No need to get a family consensus about it. Who cares if everything turns out to be fine but she's mad about it.

 

I speak not from watching too many TV shows, but from personal experience. This exact same thing happened to a distant cousin. She was last seen on a Thursday, missed her restaurant shift on Friday night, and on Saturday, her birthday, no one could get a hold of her. I watched all the posts roll in on facebook because I'd just had my first baby and was in bed recovering and breastfeeding. They went from cheery "Happy Birthday, Sis!" to "Hey, when was the last time you heard from her?" And then everyone was driving to her state to figure out what was going on. She was reported missing on Sunday or Monday. Not trying to scare anyone, but her remains were found in two different places in the woods, 2 or 3 years later. The family is still working with law enforcement and private investigators to figure out what happened.

 

 

I am so sorry. What a nightmare for your family :(

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