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Younger child wants to GO to school, older seems indifferent


Janeway
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OK..the time has come for this big huge problem.

 

5 yr old daughter talks all the time about how next year, she is going to go to "the big school" with son 7 yrs old. 7 yr old could take it or leave it. My husband says he is tired of sending son off to school because he seems public school as a big waste. Plus, our last parent teacher conference made it clear that our son has already mastered all that they expect in the grade and that the rest, like telling how you feel about numbers or writing paragraphs with no story starters (he is a 1st grader) left my husband wanting him home right away. 7 yr old acts indifferent. He will go, and he couldn't care less. He seems rather not engaged at school. I have walked up during recess time and observed him from the distance and he is just sort of walking around alone.

 

His teacher is great and the staff is great. His class is great. His class is 2/3 Asian, not that that matters a ton. Everyone is nice to him and he is nice to everyone and there is no drama. They do phonics. There are NO problems. Things just seem apathetic. No behavior problems but no excitement.

 

At home, he just wants to play on the computer for the most part. I have a high needs 12 yr old that takes up all my time and energy, and a baby that I fit in when I can between the challenge of the 12 yr old. 7 yr old is the middle child so it is not uncommon for him to get a little bit ignored and left to his own self while I tend to everyone else. Due to lay off, no money for additional extracurriculars will be allotted at this time.

 

Knowing that I intend to enroll 5 yr old at that same school in the fall if we still live here, would you pull the 7 yr old out now? Curriculum is not a problem at all. I actually purchased 2nd grade stuff for 12 yr old at this age but then did not home school him, so it was all saved. And I have the membership to Mystery Science on top of it.

 

HUGE part of me just wants to send him. There are no problems at all. He goes without complaint. He does not care to go, but he does not complain. He does his work there and brings home no homework really. But my husband wants him to come home thinking maybe he would get excited about learning if he did it at home. I do not think I am an inspiring person so I am not so confident of that. In fact, the only benefit I see to keeping him home right now is not having to get up in the morning to get him on the bus. The bus, by the way, comes to right in front of our house, so I do not even have to walk or drive anywhere.

 

I am actually worried that it will be awkward to send 5 yr old in the fall after pulling 7 yr old out now. After all, 7 yr old does have a great teacher and great staff and great classmates. What message would that send?

 

Edited to add: the reference about the class being so much Asian was a reference to how much I think this adds to the experience of being there. It is very exciting and neat and I have learned things I didn't know before about some Asian cultures and we might not have a chance like this again. Like even things you wouldn't find in books like what house building is like and buying in some areas.

Edited by Janeway
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If the kid doesn't care one way or the other, and you're not thrilled to have him home right now, I'd just keep him in for now.

 

ETA: you've had enough stress recently. Don't add to it now by bringing him home.

Edited by luuknam
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You're overburned as it is.....how will bringing him home add to his quality of education?  It doesn't sound like you have 5 hours a day to give him.  2nd graders don't do a lot of independent work and most of their new content is teacher intensive. Maybe 10/20 minutes of independence her and there, but even that is just a couple of times per day. To increase his level of education beyond the basics of what he is already getting in PS, you will need to have several hours each day to devote to just him and his interests/talents.

 

If public school isn't a problem for him, and dd will be joining him next year, I would leave him in place. 3rd grade can be a milestone year for many kids.  It is where they spend more time on actually learning new material, and less time on how to learn (ie reading/penmanship/basic math etc)

 

If he is getting his work done early and having to sit still, ask the teacher if you can send engaging books for him to read during those times. Being bored and wandering on recess may not be a problem for him....maybe he likes the down time.  Especially since you have a high needs kid at home.  Maybe he uses that time to recharge and is choosing to not play.  I would talk to him about it.  If it is a problem with social issues, then talk to the teacher to get some help in that department.

 

If you want to add to his education and he has very little homework, then consider after schooling a topic of interest instead of taking on the entire school day.

Edited by Tap
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I wouldn't pull him, no, not if you're sending the youngest. I'd let him finish the year and decide.

 

Though I find your comment of Asians in his class to be racist, offputting, and weird.

. Yeah, I shouldn't have commented on it. But it feels like that is the reason everyone is so nice. Sort of like, being in this class is a great opportunity we might not get again so shouldn't pass on it? I can't delete it from my phone but maybe I should try to when I get back to the computer. I just love so much about Asian culture. Edited by Janeway
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I wouldn't pull him.  I think ideally you try to maintain some consistency.  If you have no plans to homeschool him in the future (barring some sort of very good reason for doing so) then why pull him? 

 

And with all due respect, if you are the one who would be doing most of the actual schooling, then the fact your husband wants him to be pulled isn't really a good enough reason in my mind. 

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I wouldn't pull him. I think ideally you try to maintain some consistency. If you have no plans to homeschool him in the future (barring some sort of very good reason for doing so) then why pull him?

 

And with all due respect, if you are the one who would be doing most of the actual schooling, then the fact your husband wants him to be pulled isn't really a good enough reason in my mind.

Definitely plan to homeschool him in the future, but I prefer older grades by far.

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