Friend just had a baby and named her.....

[hornblower]

Is that a positive thing though? I read the article and all I could think was "those poor kids".

 

I have a made up name and made up spelling and detest it, so maybe I'm biased. But new and unique names or funky spellings are a societal negative to me, like starting the poor kid out with one strike against them already. That might just be my baggage speaking though, and I feel that way about the weirdo celebrity names too,

 

I've worked & reworked my reply to this & I hope it is finally polite and careful. 

 

The entire premise that it's a 'strike' is based on an ethno-cultural superiority.

 

That's the point of every post I've made on this thread. That if you're not looking/acting/displaying the norms of through naming/displaying the norms of through spelling the white, anglo saxon, heteronormative, middle or upper class, gender assigned NORM, you've got a 'negative'.

 

This is the thinking I'm trying to point out and challenge.  

[hornblower]

Yes. It is pronounced "A.A.Ron," Laura. ;)

 

bibiche, I'm out of likes so I consider yourself  :001_wub:  all day on every post 

[ktgrok]

Whoa, some of us struggle to remember spellings for common everyday words; I mess up spellings all the time. It's not a matter of not caring or not trying--some brains are just not good at remembering spellings.

 

Also, some of us have an awful lot of relatives--I have fifty nieces and nephews alone, scattered around the country and the world. I do well to remember all their names, nevermind spellings!

 

LOL, I just misspelled a good friend's name on her Christmas card. I was having a brain fart I guess. As soon as I did it I realized the issue but was low on envelopes so left it, and messaged her on Facebook to preemptively apologize. 

 

(her name is Teresa, but I wrote Theresa). 

[shawthorne44]

Yup.  How hard is it to pronounce "Amos"?

 

AH-moos

AH-mohs

Ah-MOHS

Ah-MOHZ

 

Long A, stress on the 1st syllable: A-muhs.

 

I had no idea it would be so confusing.  

 

My maiden name is Scandinavian starting with "Eric".    The ending is difficult, but the Eric part should be immediately recognizable.    Among people who hadn't heard it pronounced first, they pronounced the beginning as "X" more often than "Eric".    "X", really?  There was no X in the name.   I considered "Eric-(mumble)" or "Eric-(long pause)"  or "Eric-(random sounds)"  to be a perfectly reasonable pronunciation.  But, "X..." irritated me.  

[historically accurate]

Is that a positive thing though? I read the article and all I could think was "those poor kids".

 

I have a made up name and made up spelling and detest it, so maybe I'm biased. But new and unique names or funky spellings are a societal negative to me, like starting the poor kid out with one strike against them already. That might just be my baggage speaking though, and I feel that way about the weirdo celebrity names too,

I'm going to say it's your baggage from your own name. I grew up as a Becky (one of usually 2 in a classroom) and my maiden name is one of the most popular surnames out there in America - think Smith. Therefore, because of my baggage from being Becky S. all the way through school, two of my children have "made-up" names and one is fairly rare, but when heard, it's used for the opposite gender. 

 

I think it's awesome that we all get to name our kids what we want. You want a Elizabeth or a Rachel? You can do that! You want a Mon'ique or a Calypso? You can do that too! To each their own, but it's kind of irritating to me that you would think "those poor kids" about my name choices.

[Lady Florida.]

Yup. Key & Peele "Substitute Teacher."

 

I didn't click on the link, but I love that skit.

 

See? It's always like this! Those of you with children in abundance have no names, while those of us with just a few kids have to depend on having dogs and cats for the next several decades in order to make a dent in all the great names I have saved up! :D

 

P.S. I just got a book out of the library about Rosemary Kennedy, so this is at the top of my would-be girl name list ATM. (Rosemary, not Kennedy.)

 

Well, I only have one and it's a good thing he wasn't a girl, because we couldn't agree on a name. Dh wanted Kathleen after me, I wanted Mary after my maternal grandmother. Kathleen Mary doesn't roll off the tongue easily and Mary Kathleen sounds like a nun's name. We also didn't have any other boy names picked out. Maybe it's a good thing we just had one. :)

 

As for the Kennedys, I always wanted to name a daughter Kara, like Kara Kennedy. I just liked the sound of Kara. We couldn't use it if we had a girl though because dh has a niece with that name, although it's spelled Cara.

 

 

Japanese people are always having to clarify names as well--identical sounding names can be written with entirely different characters, and many characters can be read with multiple (entirely different) pronunciations. Additionally, many characters used for names are not used anywhere else--so they're not ones everyone is used to reading or writing.

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_name

 

Dh's nephew married a woman from Japan. She goes by Mari, with the A sounding like aahh (sigh). She told us her actual Japanese name once but it's difficult to remember. And she said that's why she gave herself a sort of American name that's as close to her Japanese name as she could get.

 

I also have a Stephen and a Sarah. Both have to clarify spellings on a regular basis. Stephen gets pronounced like Stefan a lot. A lot a lot. Which surprises me since it's certainly a common name and an accepted spelling. These two have to clarify at least as often as the ones below that actually do have creative type alternate spellings.

 

 

My brother is Steven. His daughter married a Stephen. Both always get their names misspelled.

 

I'm relaxed about my name.  I do correct people if they call me 'Lorna', but it doesn't make me cross.  I often have to spell it for people who write 'Lora', but it's no big deal.  Otherwise, if they pronounce it Larra (my MIL), Laora (other languages) or Law-ruh (how I pronounce it) they are still referring to me.  It's fine.

 

I'm relaxed about mine. My mother wasn't though. She would get annoyed if anyone called me Kate or Katie, insisting that nickname is reserved for Catherine and her daughter (me) is Kathleen. I've been called Kate/Katie as an adult and it doesn't bother me. 

 

When I was a preteen and teen I was jealous of people with interesting names and/or spellings. For a while I spelled my name Kathie, then Kathi. Eventually I went back to Kathy. Dh says he can tell what time in my life a person knows me from by how they spell my name. :)

 

My maiden name was Hill, and I still had to spell it ridiculously often. 

 

 

 

Mine was May which I also had to constantly spell, not to mention convince people it wasn't my middle name.

 

But what's your last name?

That is my last name.

How do you spell it?

Like the month between April and June.

 

I can't tell you how often I had the above conversation. At least when my married name is misspelled it makes sense. Some people add a silent B, which is a variation of the spelling and some leave out the E that comes near the end, also a variation.

[HS Mom in NC]

On a related note, our international adoption agency's attachment therapist, on the recommendation of the licensed therapists who counsel adoptees, strongly recommends adoptive parents not keep their child's foreign sounding names after adoption because it's "one more thing" that makes life harder.  They recommended either keeping it on the birth certificate (adoptees get US issued birth certificates after the adoption) as the first name and giving them an American middle name that you call them or giving them an American first name that you call them and keeping their foreign name as the middle name on the birth certificate. It's a subtle, underlying thing, but most adoptees whose adoptive parents kept the foreign names and call the kids by them advise other adoptive parents not to.  Names tend to be personal for people and most kids seem to not like the hassle and confusion that go with them. 

I think extroverts might not be as sensitive to the potential ongoing discomfort that can go with having the spotlight regularly on you because of the name thing-your name is a legal identifier, it's how you're addressed in social interactions, people do make associations based it,  and it's intertwined with identity issues.  The kid just might not respond to your creativity the way you do, but the kid will be stuck with it unless they take legal action to change it at 18. (My oldest legally changed her name to her pen name at 18 and it was a big hassle.)  Is it any surprise really, that people who literally live to be under the spotlight (celebrities) are more likely to give their kids very out of the norm names?  What if their kid isn't, by nature, that kind of person? What if they don't want more attention about their name than most people get? 

Add to that personality factors.  The no-nonsense, by the book, straightforward kid is not likely to think mamma and dadddy's creativity and uniqueness when it comes to naming is a good thing. Many people think names that are "misspelled" are a direct result of a poor quality education and don't want that associated with them in any way. (Fair or unfair, that's how many react.) Many age mates will react to a kid's unusual names, whether mamma and daddy like it or not.  You can't control what other people do, you can only be prepared to react to what they do.  Not every kid with an unusual name is going to be happy with being put in that situation.  Some won't mind.  Others will. 

These are the things people are trying to communicate to parents who seem to not have considered them. That's where the judgement comes from-the sense some of us get that the very creative namers among us haven't considered the long term effect on another person. Not racism, not mindless conformity, but the fact that the child being named is an individual different than the namer, not an extension of the namer, and that child could very possibly see the creative name differently than the namer. When you make decisions for another person, you should have the thoughts and feelings of the other person in the forefront of your mind.  You should consider the large range of reactions they may have to your decision. Kids have to live in the world as it is, not the world their parents wish it was.

Edited December 15, 2016 by Homeschool Mom in AZ

[shawthorne44]

... Is it any surprise really, that people who literally live to be under the spotlight (celebrities) are more likely to give their kids very out of the norm names?  What if their kid isn't, by nature, that kind of person? What if they don't want more attention about their name than most people get? ...

 

You ever notice how those kids usually pick names like Ann when they change their name?   

[hornblower]

You ever notice how those kids usually pick names like Ann when they change their name?   

 

Surely you meant Anne.  :laugh: 

 

 

I'm Canadian - I have to stand up for Anne with an e from PEI 

[Zinnia]

My mother in law had strong opinions about the names we named our children.  We used family names--one from each side of the family for each child.  The girl child also uses the same initials as my mother in law and my own mother, as well as has a virtue middle name (she has a triple name).  Lots of thought in those names.  :)

My MIL felt very, very strongly that you should just think of a name you like, bam, be done with it.  She felt like all that thinking was silly and frivolous.  But that's why she got to name her babies, and I got to name mine.  

Hopefully I will remember to be hands off when it comes to my own grandchildren.  :D

[maize]

I've rather enjoyed watching the different naming trends among my siblings--dh and I and some of our siblings tend heavily towards traditional and family names, some siblings go with trendy names, some with highly unusual names; a few with multicultural family circumstances are trying to accommodate that (pick a name that works well in Russian, English, and Chinese!)

 

I enjoy the diversity. I also much appreciate the privilege of naming my own children as I see fit.

[Guest]

I'm going to say it's your baggage from your own name. I grew up as a Becky (one of usually 2 in a classroom) and my maiden name is one of the most popular surnames out there in America - think Smith. Therefore, because of my baggage from being Becky S. all the way through school, two of my children have "made-up" names and one is fairly rare, but when heard, it's used for the opposite gender.

 

I think it's awesome that we all get to name our kids what we want. You want a Elizabeth or a Rachel? You can do that! You want a Mon'ique or a Calypso? You can do that too! To each their own, but it's kind of irritating to me that you would think "those poor kids" about my name choices.

Do you know a ton of kids with these weird names who love them? I don't actually know a single adult owner of a funky spelled, hard to pronounce name who has been super grateful to mom and dad for it - that's the perspective I'm taking, as a kid with a dumb name who has had to grow up with it and live with it and doesn't want to do that to my own kids.

 

If your kids love their names and are comfortable with them, that's great! I really haven't seen much of that myself but I'm just one person.

 

I don't even mind rare names - I pick ones for my kids that are easy to spell but not in top twenty lists for just that reason (my husband had a super common name and has seen the other side), but when we get down to odd spellings coupled with unusual pronunciations it becomes very burdensome, as the name owner, to keep correcting and correcting and correcting and still have people butcher it. After three decades I'm pretty fed up.

Edited December 15, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Guest]

On a related note, our international adoption agency's attachment therapist, on the recommendation of the licensed therapists who counsel adoptees, strongly recommends adoptive parents not keep their child's foreign sounding names after adoption because it's "one more thing" that makes life harder. They recommended either keeping it on the birth certificate (adoptees get US issued birth certificates after the adoption) as the first name and giving them an American middle name that you call them or giving them an American first name that you call them and keeping their foreign name as the middle name on the birth certificate. It's a subtle, underlying thing, but most adoptees whose adoptive parents kept the foreign names and call the kids by them advise other adoptive parents not to. Names tend to be personal for people and most kids seem to not like the hassle and confusion that go with them.

 

I think extroverts might not be as sensitive to the potential ongoing discomfort that can go with having the spotlight regularly on you because of the name thing-your name is a legal identifier, it's how you're addressed in social interactions, people do make associations based it, and it's intertwined with identity issues. The kid just might not respond to your creativity the way you do, but the kid will be stuck with it unless they take legal action to change it at 18. (My oldest legally changed her name to her pen name at 18 and it was a big hassle.) Is it any surprise really, that people who literally live to be under the spotlight (celebrities) are more likely to give their kids very out of the norm names? What if their kid isn't, by nature, that kind of person? What if they don't want more attention about their name than most people get?

 

Add to that personality factors. The no-nonsense, by the book, straightforward kid is not likely to think mamma and dadddy's creativity and uniqueness when it comes to naming is a good thing. Many people think names that are "misspelled" are a direct result of a poor quality education and don't want that associated with them in any way. (Fair or unfair, that's how many react.) Many age mates will react to a kid's unusual names, whether mamma and daddy like it or not. You can't control what other people do, you can only be prepared to react to what they do. Not every kid with an unusual name is going to be happy with being put in that situation. Some won't mind. Others will.

 

These are the things people are trying to communicate to parents who seem to not have considered them. That's where the judgement comes from-the sense some of us get that the very creative namers among us haven't considered the long term affect on another person. Not racism, not mindless conformity, but the fact that the child being named is an individual different than the namer, not an extension of the namer, and that child could very possibly see the creative name differently than the namer. When you make decisions for another person, you should have the thoughts and feelings of the other person in the forefront of your mind. You should consider the large range of reactions they may have to your decision. Kids have to live in the world as it is, not the world their parents wish it was.

Bingo. You hit what I've been thinking perfectly. My kids aren't adopted but I did intentionally give them different styles of middle names than their first name just in case they ran into issues or preferred one to the other, they could pick. I got stuck with the funky, awful first name AND a gender neutral/boy leaning middle name, and now that I'm married I have an impossible German last name. I just can't win :D

 

But yes, this is why I've been agonizing so much over the names list for my current baby and each past one - there is so much to consider in terms of utility, identity, and social response too.

[Murphy101]

Could the name have been Michal?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michal

That and also... Michael the archangel is neither male nor female. In catholic tradition, angels do not have a gender. So no, it has not been a boy name since biblical times to many people.

 

And also, John and Michael, and various forms of them, have been used for both boys and girls in many cultures.

 

For that matter, Marie has been a unisex name in many cultures too.

 

I'm not bothered much by crossing genders with a name.

 

To me, purposeful misspelling doesn't look unique. It just looks illiterate. But as long as it's not my kid, not my problem.

[Mrs. Y]

I have THE fad name of 1970's Australia - Danielle. I was born in the last weeks of the 60s and named after my grandfather, Daniel. Daniel is a family name and occurs in every generation. I was the last child born in mine and there were no boys, so I got it in feminine form. I think my parents thought they were very clever. Over the next two decades, there was an explosion of Danielles. There were three in my class at school and it was unheard of to go to the shops and not encounter some snotty Danielle in an aisle. The Australian accent can do truely horrible things to French words, and the ability of nasal Strine to turn Danielle into Dan YELL is just dreadful (hold your nose and really drag out that second syllable so that it makes a third, like you have a very bad pain). The spelling has been butchered so many times that I now routinely have to spell it, even though mine is the original, boring spelling. Mostly I get Dannielle which I hate, sometimes I get Daniele or Daniela which are fine, but the worst is Dan-yell. I met a Danyell the other day who told me she loves it because that is just the way its pronounced. No, no it isn't!!!!! Arghhhh!

My sister is Danielle. I think it is a simply elegant name. People butcher it like crazy, but pronounced correctly it is a beautiful name.

[Murphy101]

I've gotten more than a little flak over giving baby girl a very unique middle name. We had an awful time agreeing on a name for her and dh was rather insistent on using this as her first name and it's very uniqueness and that it is not a saint name nixed it for me.

 

But her first name isn't particularly common either. Never been in the top 300 of baby names in the states. And our very slight spelling adjustment to reflect why we chose it (which is still phoeneticly correct) has never been used.

 

One of our other daughters as a never been used as a name before middle name, but I've never met anyone that didn't love it and more than a few that exclaimed they were "stealing" it.

 

We have a couple unique boy middle names too. Truth be known, I loved those unique middle names more than their first names.

[Murphy101]

By unique, I meant not common, the names themselves are actually very old and simply spelled.

[maize]

Bingo. You hit what I've been thinking perfectly. My kids aren't adopted but I did intentionally give them different styles of middle names than their first name just in case they ran into issues or preferred one to the other, they could pick. I got stuck with the funky, awful first name AND a gender neutral/boy leaning middle name, and now that I'm married I have an impossible German last name. I just can't win :D

 

But yes, this is why I've been agonizing so much over the names list for my current baby and each past one - there is so much to consider in terms of utility, identity, and social response too.

Didn't you used to have your name on your signature? Starting with a T? It's a lovely name.

[Guest]

Hah, thanks :). Yes, my name is Taryl and if I looked at all like a Heather, Annie, or Isabella, I'd have legally changed that sucker years ago. I debated doing it long and hard from about third grade onward. Now I've just given up and am pleasantly surprised when someone doesn't butcher the first or last name, or both.

[HS Mom in NC]

That and also... Michael the archangel is neither male nor female. In catholic tradition, angels do not have a gender. So no, it has not been a boy name since biblical times to many people.

 

 

 

Doesn't the Bible use the pronoun he in reference to angels? 

[HS Mom in NC]

 

But yes, this is why I've been agonizing so much over the names list for my current baby and each past one - there is so much to consider in terms of utility, identity, and social response too.

 

I think naming is high pressure too.  We wanted something not really common, we both had very common names.  In one class in Jr. High seating was assigned alphabetically by last name.  4 of us were lined up one after the other: Lisa M., Lisa M., Lisa N., and Lisa N.  It was incredibly irritating for us and the teacher.

 

We wanted something uncommon but not unheard of, so our girls are Faith, Mercy and Hope. (Faith legally changed to her pen name which is Faye then my French middle name I dropped when I got married and then the first name of her favorite author which is also an uncommon but not unheard of surname.

 

We're not into unusual spellings.

 

If had to be something that worked at the playground, in a teen group setting, on an Ivy League application, exchanging wedding vows, hanging around blue collar rednecks (one of the branches of my family) in the business world, among the red hat ladies and such.  All walks of life.  All socioeconomic classes.  All possible futures.  Ugh!

 

 

 

[Guest]

These are the things people are trying to communicate to parents who seem to not have considered them. That's where the judgement comes from-the sense some of us get that the very creative namers among us haven't considered the long term affect on another person. Not racism, not mindless conformity, but the fact that the child being named is an individual different than the namer, not an extension of the namer, and that child could very possibly see the creative name differently than the namer. When you make decisions for another person, you should have the thoughts and feelings of the other person in the forefront of your mind. You should consider the large range of reactions they may have to your decision. Kids have to live in the world as it is, not the world their parents wish it was.

You could not have said this any better.

[Mrs. Y]

Yes, to whoever was quoted above about children bearing the consequences to the names parents give them.

 

We once convinced someone not to name their child Ransom Soul....

 

I have known others who name their children things their birth certificates are perfectly capable of commemorating. (Like spelling the name Julyanna instead of Julianna just because of the month she was born).

 

I know another family with names like Susan, Anna, Mary, David, and then little Shekagloriofthelord (I made that up). The last one, I am told, has a Uber fantastic meaning.

Edited December 15, 2016 by Colleen OH

[Guest]

Do you know a ton of kids with these weird names who love them? I don't actually know a single adult owner of a funky spelled, hard to pronounce name who has been super grateful to mom and dad for it - that's the perspective I'm taking, as a kid with a dumb name who has had to grow up with it and live with it and doesn't want to do that to my own kids.

 

If your kids love their names and are comfortable with them, that's great! I really haven't seen much of that myself but I'm just one person.

 

I don't even mind rare names - I pick ones for my kids that are easy to spell but not in top twenty lists for just that reason (my husband had a super common name and has seen the other side), but when we get down to odd spellings coupled with unusual pronunciations it becomes very burdensome, as the name owner, to keep correcting and correcting and correcting and still have people butcher it. After three decades I'm pretty fed up.

I think the bolded is true.

 

My SIL has a rare name (for girls in the US). Although I think it is a lovely name and did not think it was weird or ugly when I met her, she has always said it was misery for her growing up. I do think this goes to what Homeschool in AZ said - the personality of the kid will affect how they feel about having a rare/different/unique name. She did not like that spotlight and she didn't like correcting people who couldn't pronounce it or confused it with a similar, but incorrect, name.

[Murphy101]

Doesn't the Bible use the pronoun he in reference to angels?

Even if it does, it does not necessarily translate directly to presume all angels are males. For one thing, they are considered spiritual beings without corporeal bodies, so how they manifest to a human is not their actual form. Also, there is a translation issue. There may not be a feminine form of the word angel. For example, inanimate objects are referred to in one gender form in many languages. But that does not mean that ships or tables or whatever actually have a gender.

[Guest]

Mine was May which I also had to constantly spell, not to mention convince people it wasn't my middle name.

 

But what's your last name?

That is my last name.

How do you spell it?

Like the month between April and June.

 

I can't tell you how often I had the above conversation. At least when my married name is misspelled it makes sense. Some people add a silent B, which is a variation of the spelling and some leave out the E that comes near the end, also a variation.

My grandmother's middle name was Mae, but when she remarried, she gained the last name May. We all thought that was pretty funny. Elsie Mae May.

[8circles]

I do actually know some adults with very uncommon names, very unusual spellings, who don't hate them or curse their parents for choosing those names.

 

I have a very traditional name, spelled traditionally.  I've always hated it and I've had to spell it for people my whole life.

 

I think that the whole idea of your child hating the name they've been given only applying to those with different names is silly.  When I named my children, I fully realized that they were their own person.  But I didn't know them yet.  I didn't know if they were going to be very type-A or hippie free-spirits.  I named them names that *I* (well, and DH) liked that *I* thought would serve them well in life, according to what *I* think is important.  They may grow up and have different ideas, different likes, love their names or hate them.  I have no way of knowing that.  I can assure you that there are some people with unusual, made-up names that love them and others with traditional, common names that hate them.

[Guest]

Even if it does, it does not necessarily translate directly to presume all angels are males. For one thing, they are considered spiritual beings without corporeal bodies, so how they manifest to a human is not their actual form. Also, there is a translation issue. There may not be a feminine form of the word angel. For example, inanimate objects are referred to in one gender form in many languages. But that does not mean that ships or tables or whatever actually have a gender.

Well, that may be, but that's not how the average person thinks of the Archangel, IMO. I don't think people think, "Oh, that girl Michael is named after the Archangel! Because of course, angels are gender-neutral beings!" there may be the odd female named Michael here and there, but this does not negate the fact that the overwhelming majority of people in the US presume a male when they hear the name Michael.

 

As I said, I'm married to a Kelly and even *that* name, which has a much longer history of being a male name than a female name, is almost universlly presumed to be female in the US now. When people make an assumption of gender from his name, they never assume male.

 

Gender-crossing names is just not my favority thing. But it bothers me less than Kri8tiv spelling does.

[Murphy101]

My grandmother's middle name was Mae, but when she remarried, she gained the last name May. We all thought that was pretty funny. Elsie Mae May.

This is yet another reason I nixed Maewyn as her first name. Even as a middle name I have had almost no one pronounce it correctly. I have no idea why they would think it is anything other than May-Win???? Someone said meowin as in a thick southern accent saying "that there cat be meowin' all night long". 😧🤔

 

And I expected some spelling direction for her first name might be needed but alas, apparently no one knows how to spell it the traditional way so they are actually getting her name spelling correct.

 

There's just no figuring people. 😄

[shawthorne44]

...

I don't even mind rare names - I pick ones for my kids that are easy to spell but not in top twenty lists for just that reason (my husband had a super common name and has seen the other side), but when we get down to odd spellings coupled with unusual pronunciations it becomes very burdensome, as the name owner, to keep correcting and correcting and correcting and still have people butcher it. After three decades I'm pretty fed up.

 

 

We'd decided first any name in the top 10 list would be eliminated no matter how wonderful it was.   DH had 8 other kids with his name in his first grade class.   

[historically accurate]

Do you know a ton of kids with these weird names who love them? I don't actually know a single adult owner of a funky spelled, hard to pronounce name who has been super grateful to mom and dad for it - that's the perspective I'm taking, as a kid with a dumb name who has had to grow up with it and live with it and doesn't want to do that to my own kids.

 

If your kids love their names and are comfortable with them, that's great! I really haven't seen much of that myself but I'm just one person.

 

I don't even mind rare names - I pick ones for my kids that are easy to spell but not in top twenty lists for just that reason (my husband had a super common name and has seen the other side), but when we get down to odd spellings coupled with unusual pronunciations it becomes very burdensome, as the name owner, to keep correcting and correcting and correcting and still have people butcher it. After three decades I'm pretty fed up.

Actually, I know a lady with your name except she spells it with an "e" instead of an "a". She loves it; I do too, by the way. The only adult I've heard complain about the uniqueness of his name was a distant cousin of mine in CA named Nigel. If I do hear complaints (and it's pretty rare), it's about being 1 of 4 Jennifers or Heathers in the class. But, honestly, I don't think it's going to be an issue when the next generation grows up because a lot of names are "made up" now. Even if you end up giving your child what you think is an unusual name, it's just as likely to be a hit in 5 years and everyone is named that. So I don't think it's as big a deal as it was in past generations. 

 

I guess I'll have to give my girls another 15-20 years to see if they still like their names. If they don't they are free to change them and/or name their children Nancy and John if they want to.

 

Edit: I'm going to bow out of this discussion now, since I'm apparently taking this too personally since I chose to saddle my poor children with unpronounceable, misspelled names.

Edited December 15, 2016 by beckyjo

[ktgrok]

 

I don't even mind rare names - I pick ones for my kids that are easy to spell but not in top twenty lists for just that reason (my husband had a super common name and has seen the other side), but when we get down to odd spellings coupled with unusual pronunciations it becomes very burdensome, as the name owner, to keep correcting and correcting and correcting and still have people butcher it. After three decades I'm pretty fed up.

 

Exactly. My husband is Ean. He spends his whole life correcting people who write it as Ian. Not to mention no one can pronounce it. He was dead set on NOT doing that to our kids. 

 

Meanwhile, I was one of two to three Katies in my class, so I wanted a less common name for our kids. So we went with names not in the top 50, for the most part, but with traditional spellings. He wouldn't even let me use Mollie instead of Molly. 

[Guest]

My husband has the opposite problem like you of the super common name with the funky spouse name. We have argued both sides too - easy to spell, not overly common names for the win!

 

That's part of my angst for this baby, especially if it ends up being female - all my favorite girl names right now are trickier in terms of spelling and could be butchered. But the more common ones sound too similar to our current girls and we already call people by the wrong name!

 

Male names aren't too bad, more than my husband wants more traditional than moi. We will duke it out in the coming weeks but NO funky spellings regardless. It's just tricky when a few of them have several spellings in equal frequency :(

Edited December 15, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[LucyStoner]

Any name can get misspelled no matter how standard the spelling. Just look at the side of your coffee cup.

[Guest]

Any name can get misspelled no matter how standard the spelling. Just look at the side of your coffee cup.

Truth! I always give my husband's name for coffee and restaurants and it gets me quite the range of looks :p

[Bluegoat]

I don't see that traditional names always follow spelling and phonics rules. Stephen is the only word I can think of where ph is pronounced "v", ar in Sara is commonly pronounced "er", Matthew has an extra t...

 

I say that ph as a ph, not a v.

[bibiche]

My grandmother's middle name was Mae, but when she remarried, she gained the last name May. We all thought that was pretty funny. Elsie Mae May.

Did she have an older sibling?

[8circles]

I say that ph as a ph, not a v.

 

There are a lot of Steves in my family.  Every family reunion has one picture with all the Steves & another with all the Johns.  Some of them are spelled Stephen, some Stephan, some Steven.  Some are pronounced Steven, some Stephan.  But the pronunciations don't always go with the spellings that match.

[Bluegoat]

IDK, when nobody complains about Favre being pronounced FARVE or Roy being prononced WAH, I think Monquie can be Monique & we'll all be just fine.

 

I think names that are spelled oddly are different than names that have meanings that are rude or embarrasing or otherwise seem negative, even if it's done unintentionally.

[ashfern]

There's a little girl at church that the spelling of her name is very strange. I don't want to put it because it's very unique but it's pronounced Miley. There's an "a" in the spelling though. 

[Guest]

Did she have an older sibling?

She was one of 8 or 9, I think. I didn't know any of my great aunts or uncles, though (even though I am named for one of them; my great aunt Lillian.)

[Meriwether]

Well, that may be, but that's not how the average person thinks of the Archangel, IMO. I don't think people think, "Oh, that girl Michael is named after the Archangel! Because of course, angels are gender-neutral beings!" there may be the odd female named Michael here and there, but this does not negate the fact that the overwhelming majority of people in the US presume a male when they hear the name Michael.

 

As I said, I'm married to a Kelly and even *that* name, which has a much longer history of being a male name than a female name, is almost universlly presumed to be female in the US now. When people make an assumption of gender from his name, they never assume male.

 

Gender-crossing names is just not my favority thing. But it bothers me less than Kri8tiv spelling does.

I know sisters named Gabriel and Michael. The mother didn't think the angels were gender-neutral. She thinks they are girls.

[Guest]

There's a little girl at church that the spelling of her name is very strange. I don't want to put it because it's very unique but it's pronounced Miley. There's an "a" in the spelling though.

I've seen Myleigh and Maile for that one.

[Julie Smith]

I live in Canada. My aunt has lived in Canada for 50+ years. Speaking English the whole time. Has kids, and grandkids that only speak English. 

Someone in our very large extended family named their kid, Connor. My aunt had so much trouble with the name. She would try to say it and no be able to get it out. She ended up calling him Canoe for years. As in the little 2 person boat Canadians use. :p Someone would sit beside my aunt and sound out the name, "Con... nor".  She just couldn't get it. She complained about people giving their kids such strange funky names. 

 

So I guess, it is all a matter of perspective. 

 

 

[Guest]

I live in Canada. My aunt has lived in Canada for 50+ years. Speaking English the whole time. Has kids, and grandkids that only speak English.

 

Someone in our very large extended family named their kid, Connor. My aunt had so much trouble with the name. She would try to say it and no be able to get it out. She ended up calling him Canoe for years. As in the little 2 person boat Canadians use. :p Someone would sit beside my aunt and sound out the name, "Con... nor". She just couldn't get it. She complained about people giving their kids such strange funky names.

 

So I guess, it is all a matter of perspective.

Oh brother, you can't win! That's just not a hard name unless someone has a speech impediment!

 

I do have some funny stories about some of my Vietnamese bosses, who ended up just calling me Taro, like the root, because they couldn't pronounce my name for the life of them. It was just a tough combo of syllables even though they were highly adept an English. It was worse because Taro bubble teas were my favorite drink at that particular establishment. Cue hilarity and puns :lol:

Edited December 16, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Julie Smith]

Oh brother, you can't win! That's just not a hard name unless someone has a speech impediment!

 

 

Well instead of saying Connor she offered to call him, "Mr. C" then she changed that to "C man".  Yup she called him "semen". 

[Guest]

Well instead of saying Connor she offered to call him, "Mr. C" then she changed that to "C man". Yup she called him "semen".

... nobody told her how awkward that was before filming it, right!?

[maize]

I've seen Myleigh and Maile for that one.

Maile is a traditional Hawaiian name.

 

The combination ai of course is a very common spelling in other languages for the dipthong we think of as a long i sound in English.

[poppy]

Any name can get misspelled no matter how standard the spelling. Just look at the side of your coffee cup.

 

I thought you were doing something with the name Duncan here.

Too many years living in RI / MA home of Dunkin' Donuts on every corner.

Took me a minute to catch up.

[Murphy101]

I know sisters named Gabriel and Michael. The mother didn't think the angels were gender-neutral. She thinks they are girls.

Probably because the common imagery for angels is very effeminate to most people?