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Cat lovers, help me out -- son's main "Santa gift" request has me stumped


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So, in our house we perpetuate the myth of Santa, mixed with readings of stories of St. Nicholas, and allow our kids to "believe" as long as they want. Our youngest has some developmental delays and still very firmly believes, and we aren't ready to end that just yet.

 

All of that makes getting this right semi important, although we have also been having conversations about Santa not being magic, can't predict everything, etc. Still, we would love to find something that at least seems like it should work for his request.

 

His request: "Something to make (our cat) sit on my lap" He is convinced Santa will know just the thing.

 

Help??

 

We have him feeding the cat (she is, technically, his cat and has been with us almost a year; she was a 2 yr old rescue from the local shelter this past February, and of course her age is a "best guess" by the shelter vet), we made a small lap pad/blanket earlier for her to sleep on, which he keeps in his bed, so it familiarized her with his scent, he uses her favorite blankets any time he's on the couch, he gives her treats any time she actually does sit in his lap....none of this works to make her choose his lap.

 

The cat views him as a playmate, and they truly do have a special/unique bond. She follows him up or down the stairs any time he goes from one level to the other, no matter what she's doing. He is the only one she plays with, and she loves playing with him. She carries around the toys he uses with her. We talk with DS all the time about how sweet, how lucky, how special this bond is, that he is her favorite playmate, even if not favorite lap to sit in. He still really craves her sitting in his lap.

 

So.....short of rubbing catnip on his clothes, any ideas? At all? At this point, even something that would work with a normal cat would be good, even if it doesn't work with our nutty cat. I am just stumped as to what might even begin to make him think Santa nailed it....something that when he sees it under the tree, he recognizes it as "a thing to make the cat sit in my lap" whether it works later or not.

 

Thanks for any suggestions! And thanks for reading all this! (And really, please no "just tell him the truth about Santa" -- I really don't want to have that conversation here)

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Catnip actually was my idea. Or a mild tranquilizer from the vet. 😀 Maybe a note from Santa saying that cats aren't under his control, heck he can't always get the reindeer to behave. We have used the Santa letter to explain the lack of a new bed. Furniture like that evidently had to be ok'd by parents and fit in the sleigh.

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I think a note from Santa explaining that this cat had a rough go before you brought her home and that she may never be a lap cat but that your son already knows the best ways to love her and make her feel safe.

 

I've always had cats and our current two cats are not lap cats. Eventually, one of our cats started sitting on one of my son's lap. It was a huge deal every time it happened. Occasionally (like twice a year), the cat will sit on my lap. I feel pretty honoured when it happens. I don't actually know why the cat loves him so much - he can do anything to her (lift her above his head, give her big kisses, hold her like a baby while she yowles to get down) and she'll still come back to him and sit on him. Makes me feel sorry for any future girlfriends...  The only thing I can think of is that this is the easiest going kid in the house and he's the one who sits in the same spot the longest. 

 

My cats are really nice, and like your son's cat they follow me around. They like to sit near me - on the same couch - just not on me. 

 

It may just take time. And a lot of sitting around. Or it may never happen. But, it does sound as though he has a lovely bond with his cat and that's pretty special.

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Certain cats are "lap cats" and certain cats just aren't. We have an orange cat who loves sitting on my son's lap especially when he's wearing his fuzzy robe. I had a Siamese growing up that was never a lap cat.

 

Scientists are starting to think that certain colors on cats also equal their personality tendency. (The DNA that produces the coloring also has something to do w/ their personality.) With that idea in mind, I adopted the male orange cat and he's pretty friendly, cuddly, and amenable.

 

What color is your kitty?

 

Alley

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Certain cats are "lap cats" and certain cats just aren't. We have an orange cat who loves sitting on my son's lap especially when he's wearing his fuzzy robe. I had a Siamese growing up that was never a lap cat.

 

Scientists are starting to think that certain colors on cats also equal their personality tendency. (The DNA that produces the coloring also has something to do w/ their personality.) With that idea in mind, I adopted the male orange cat and he's pretty friendly, cuddly, and amenable.

 

What color is your kitty?

 

Alley

Intriguing idea; I haven't seen that study, but it wouldn't surprise me. She is a black cat with a little white.

 

She does sit in my husband's lap, sleeps with another son and will sometimes sit with that son if he has her favorite blanket (she likes to hide under blankets), yet she never sits with me, or youngest DS, and rarely oldest DS. With me, she will jump onto my lap just to walk across me to reach DH; we joke that she is cleaning her paws off on me first.

 

But even with DH, she doesn't sit for long. And, those she does sit with are the ones who most religiously honor the "I have a cat in my lap, I can't get up" rule -- the rest of us will dump her out of our laps if we get tired of her, but the 2 she favors will only, ever give her a treat to get her off their laps so maybe that is another factor.

 

She is really the oddest personality cat we've ever had, but then, she also spent six months in the shelter before we got her.....I think it's amazing she's as friendly as she is, given that history and whatever came before that. I do wish we could just convince DS that his particular bond with her is unique, special and beautiful, instead of him yearning for the lap cat times. His learning delays I think just make it harder for him to accept that.

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Don't cats like to sit in cardboard boxes?

 

Maybe you could make a cat kit with lots of options. Then it would seem Santa really gave it his best shot. I like the letter, too.

Oh, that's a good idea! Combined with a letter from Santa, and a compilation of ideas (I love the crinkly lap pad idea up thread, too, and have some stuff that would work for the middle layer), this might be just the idea.....

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Maybe some kind of small blanket with a crinkly layer in the middle? Cats like paper bags to lay on so that's all I can come up with.

 

I think that's the sweetest Santa request I've ever heard. Melted my heart.

Yes, I like that plan. I can do that.

 

And, thanks. He's a really sweet kid, and loves this cat with everything in him.

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Catnip makes mine aggressive, so if you go this route I suggest a trial when DS isn't around.

 

You might try treats that noone else uses. I suggest Purina Whisker Lickins. They're like kitty crack.

 

Mine isn't a lapcat, but he likes to sleep between my legs...go figure. It's rare that he does opt for my lap but when he does it's nearly always food related.

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I love the idea of making a kit of cat supplies - I would probably find a box like wicker basket to use as the container. (Our cats love laying in low sided wicker trays.)

My special needs son loves to snuggle with his cats, so I understand your son's request.

A few ideas -

A plush blanket. Our cats love it and can't resist laying on it, even when someone is using it.

A small plush cat blanket - slightly crinkly inside, infused with catnip, has a small mouse attached to one corner. (We bought at PetSmart recently.)

A few special treats that are only to be given during bonding time.

A small funny book on the nature of cats. (Actually, any book on cats. My son loved to read to his cats when he was younger and they would actually lay and watch him.)

A cat training CD.

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I'm no cat expert, but some cats like to sit in laps and some don't. And even those who do will choose someone rather than be chosen. Our almost ten year old female cat likes DD. DD is her person; she's DD's cat, DD feeds her, she cuddles up with DD and will purr for her and sit in DD's lap, to an extent (we've had her since she was a few months old). I barely tolerate the cat, as I'm not really an animal person, but the cat likes me. She will follow me around and will cuddle up to me, even if I'm not inviting her to do so. I guess she recognizes that I'm the mama of the house and all small fuzzy creatures get cuddled by me?

 

I like the idea of some catnip and a note from Santa about controlling cats and reindeer. And your son sounds like a sweet boy to love the cat so much!

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A really deep pile fleece blanket may encourage a cat to sit on his lap. It's something that some of our cats go mad for but others not. One would knead/sit anywhere that was that plush texture. Other than that I doubt you can get a cat to become a lap cat. One of mine will sit on me occasionally but will mostly prefer to sit next to me.

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I was going to suggest one of those heated throws, like an electric blanket.  Mine goes nuts for that.  Or a small sheepskin.  I had to move mine off the couch because the cats were obsessed with it.

 

If you decide to go the catnip route, you can make a tea with catnip and then dab it on the fabric and let it dry.  The smell will stay behind.  That's how we got our cats to love their cat tower/scratching post.... just dabbed catnip tea all over it!

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I have no ideas about what would make a cat sit in your ds's lap. But I am intrigued by the concept of the cat's color contributing to its personality. Our last cat was an orange tabby--best cat ever! So when we adopted again we chose an orange tabby/white one and a black (with tiny smidges of white) one. The orange is totally neurotic--hard life on the streets before coming to the shelter is my guess--but he will occasionally sit on laps. And he likes cuddling up against dh's legs when dh naps. The black one ... hates humans. That's all there is to it. Refuses to sit on laps ever. Hates being held. The only time he will act pleased is when he's about to be fed and when someone offers to brush him. Sitting on laps, however, is beneath his dignity.

 

Cats will be cats. I hope you'll be able to figure something out to help your son!

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Cat nip makes cats nuts.  It won't make the cat lie down on a lap.  :)  

 

Note from Santa, that just like the genii in Aladdin can't make someone fall in love with you, Santa can't make cats do ANYTHING.  Cats were the rulers of Egypt in the past and they've never forgotten it.  They do as they please.  

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Some cats are lap sitters, some are not.

 

Some are conditional lap sitters. We have one who as a general rule will not sit on laps unless one of the following rare conditions are met - young child is crying, injured, or upset; only one person is home/awake; random other reason, unknowable to human.

 

The other cat will sit on only certain people's laps (mine) pretty much anytime they sit down. He will make exceptions if the person is sitting in the right chair with the right blanket *and* if the right person (me) is either unavailable or has made lap unappealing (or kicks the cat off for purely selfish hman reasons). I have no idea why the cat likes me, although of course I am honored. Except when I'm uncomfortable.

 

I'm with Garga and the others. Even Santa can't control cats.

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Some cats aren't lap cats, no matter how much of a bond they have with a person.  I have a cat like this who talks to me, follows me around the house, can sense my moods, etc..., but said cat has never been willing to sit on my lap.  Curls up *next* to me, but not *on* me.

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I don't think you can force a cat to sit on a lap.  One of ours never did.  Catnip would just make her hyper.

 

Maybe you could get him one of these:

 

https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Petzzz-Black-Shorthair-Kitten/dp/B003XSJ4YE/ref=pd_sim_21_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B003XSJ4YE&pd_rd_r=N3VC82MQ98W35NDAEMPZ&pd_rd_w=Bthkx&pd_rd_wg=mpjYa&psc=1&refRID=N3VC82MQ98W35NDAEMPZ

 

With a little note from Santa explaining that his cat feels very loved by him, but not all cats are lap-sleepers.  

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What if Santa expressed how even he can't control cats and instead included a cat behavior type book?

https://www.amazon.com/Kitten-Training-Kids-Sarah-Whitehead/dp/0764120395/

It's out of print, but it looks like there are several new/near new copies on Amazon. And Santa could suggest watching "The Lion in Your Living Room." It's on Netflix.

Edited by mamaraby
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My first thought was, "Catnip on his lap." My second thought is, "She's a cat." 

Cats are highly independent. The fact that she follows your son around and chooses to play with him

is actually high praise from a cat! She has chosen your son and that's a good thing! As for her laying on his

lap, not all cats want to do that and you really can't make them. The most powerful things I can suggest, however,

is prayer. Pray that she wants to do this and will. Other than that, there is really nothing you can do to make it so.

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Thanks, all. I know, you know, everyone else in our family knows....a cat is a cat, and cannot be controlled, influenced, trained, etc. for anything outside his or her will, period. We all know this.

 

DS does not, and all attempts to explain this or appease him with other methods of bonding with the cat have failed, so...here we are, with a tender-hearted nearly 12 yr old, with developmental delays, in love with his cat and so eager for the cat to choose his lap (the cat does sit in laps, just not his) that he has hit upon what, to him, is truly believed to be a fool-proof method: ask Santa, and Santa will come through.

 

I'm thinking that a crinkle-sack style bed, that she can burrow into, lined with fuzzy fleece stuff (her favorite), may work. Combined with perhaps a brush or grooming mitt for him to use with her, a special treat that we only let him give her, and a letter from Santa explaining that cats simply can't be swayed and are immune to even Santa magic, but hopefully these items will help and reminding him how much the cat clearly loves him....just that she shows it in other ways. Maybe hearing it from Santa will help....

 

He is just so convinced that this will work, and I don't have the heart to let him down. I know it's unlikely to work, we all do, but we have to at least try, I think. I love the letter idea, though, and we will definitely incorporate that.

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My first thought was, "Catnip on his lap." My second thought is, "She's a cat."

Cats are highly independent. The fact that she follows your son around and chooses to play with him

is actually high praise from a cat! She has chosen your son and that's a good thing! As for her laying on his

lap, not all cats want to do that and you really can't make them. The most powerful things I can suggest, however,

is prayer. Pray that she wants to do this and will. Other than that, there is really nothing you can do to make it so.

I love this, and would include prayer that he accept and recognize the play as the praise it is; thank you for saying this. I felt silly thinking "pray for it" but you just affirmed that, so thank you. I do pray he gets it, or it changes, it is so dear to his heart.

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What if Santa expressed how even he can't control cats and instead included a cat behavior type book?

https://www.amazon.com/Kitten-Training-Kids-Sarah-Whitehead/dp/0764120395/

It's out of print, but it looks like there are several new/near new copies on Amazon. And Santa could suggest watching "The Lion in Your Living Room." It's on Netflix.

Thank you! Yes, a book like that is a great idea. Thanks for the suggestion!

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I have a magic cat blanket. It is a goose down lap blanket that is really soft and warm. So whenever I use it on the couch all the cats come to sit in my lap.

 

Maybe something like that. A soft down blanket for the cooler weather?

 

Ooh, this reminds me. We inherited a wool blanket from MIL. One of those LLBean 100% wool blankets. I washed it and laid it out on the bed. Instant cat magnet--they love it. I think it's because it still smells a bit sheepy, as wool does. 

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This actually varies by cat. It has a definite Mary Jane chilling out effect on one of our cats. If you put a towel with catnip on your lap, he would definitely be there, gently rolling around and staring at his paws in wonder.

I didn't know that! Cool. So, the OP could test it out and see how her cat reacts to the nip. Ours go bonkers and dash around and roll in it and wrestle with each other in it.

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Agree with catnip, including the test. DD and I volunteer for a cat charity and it has been so interesting to see cats with wildly different reactions to nip. One cat actually self-mutilated with it, and we had to make a note to never give it to her! We were stunned. Others go wild, some get super loving and sweet.

 

Yes also to a special bed or pad, heated if she would enjoy that where you live.

 

I would also buy a nice two sided brush, wire and bristle and let him be the only one in the house to brush her, and only when he is next to her or on his lap.

 

I hate to recommend this...and I don't know that I am, or can...but what if everyone else's lap became too full for her? If other people stopped letting her on their laps, maybe his would become more desirable. It feels wrong to say that, but it's a thought.

 

Our kitty crack here is Party Mix and Temptations. I'm sure they are terrible for the cats, so they get them rarely, but man they come out of the woodwork when that bag rattles. If he is the only one allowed to dispense a favorite treat, and only on his lap, that would help.

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Agree with catnip, including the test. DD and I volunteer for a cat charity and it has been so interesting to see cats with wildly different reactions to nip. One cat actually self-mutilated with it, and we had to make a note to never give it to her! We were stunned. Others go wild, some get super loving and sweet.

 

Yes also to a special bed or pad, heated if she would enjoy that where you live.

 

I would also buy a nice two sided brush, wire and bristle and let him be the only one in the house to brush her, and only when he is next to her or on his lap.

 

I hate to recommend this...and I don't know that I am, or can...but what if everyone else's lap became too full for her? If other people stopped letting her on their laps, maybe his would become more desirable. It feels wrong to say that, but it's a thought.

 

Our kitty crack here is Party Mix and Temptations. I'm sure they are terrible for the cats, so they get them rarely, but man they come out of the woodwork when that bag rattles. If he is the only one allowed to dispense a favorite treat, and only on his lap, that would help.

The brush is on the list, for sure. I don't know if she'd need a heated throw, we are on the Tx gulf coast, so... And honestly, she has some favorite blankets.....when other people use them. I truly don't know if a blanket will impact her, as regards sitting with this kid or not. None have helped so far.

 

Re:other laps, DH is the main lap she goes to, and so already it's limited just by him not being home, but we could try that. DH typically won't dump her off his lap (she jumps up during dinner, and we have tried having them switch seats, but no, it is the lap. Even when DH was gone for two weeks, she wouldn't sit in anyone's lap. So....again, this finicky cat, I honestly don't expect anything to work. She plays with this DS, she sleeps with him and one brother, she sits with DH. We have our roles, given us by the cat, and knowing her as I do, I don't expect her to change, ya know?

 

I will test out some catnip and see how she responds; if she loves it and sits, we'll try that.

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Scientists are starting to think that certain colors on cats also equal their personality tendency. (The DNA that produces the coloring also has something to do w/ their personality.) With that idea in mind, I adopted the male orange cat and he's pretty friendly, cuddly, and amenable.

 

What color is your kitty?

 

Alley

 

Then why is my orange, male cat such a jack-@ss? Seriously-  biggest jerk I've ever met is my cat. 

 

To the OP- I don't think you can do anything to make a cat that's not a lap cat be a lap cat. You could give him some tuna juice to rub on his pants.  :laugh:

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I am not a cat expert at all but have a soft spots for kids...I am reading Don't Shoot the Dog and it discusses lots of animal training techniques for different animals.  One thing that stuck out when I read this is that cats can be trained by copying something else like a dog.  If you have another animal can you train the other animal to sit in the lap using treats while the cat is watching?  She indicated the phrase copy cats started that way and has seen cats trained to do tricks that way.  I hope you find something that works.

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How about a dog?

  

 

I am not a cat expert at all but have a soft spots for kids...I am reading Don't Shoot the Dog and it discusses lots of animal training techniques for different animals.  One thing that stuck out when I read this is that cats can be trained by copying something else like a dog.  If you have another animal can you train the other animal to sit in the lap using treats while the cat is watching?  She indicated the phrase copy cats started that way and has seen cats trained to do tricks that way.  I hope you find something that works.

Okay, this is intriguing. We do have a dog, and he loves laps, although he isn't allowed on the furniture. And the cat is crazy jealous of the dog, and always, often, does things just to spite the dog. So training the dog to sit with DS, in front of the cat, and the cat seeing the dog get rewards, actually could really work with this cat. Thank you!

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