Melissa in Australia Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 So a family friend ( older retired man) told DH that I did a grand job raising the older boy up but boy am I a hard woman. What does it mean "a hard woman"? When DH told me I had a mental image of the granny form those tweety pie cartoons. I am guessing it is very unflattering Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I think it means that your older, male family friend has no manners and is a bit of a jerk. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 I think it means that your older, male family friend has no manners and is a bit of a jerk. I know that. :laugh: He is handy though as he has a bull that we take our house-cow to each year. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I would think he meant heartless and I would kick him. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 We're going to ignore whatever weird intent he had and say "hard" like a diamond. Think of it as h e said "DH, that wife of yours is a gem, a priceless shimmering gem" cause surely that's what he was meant to mean :) Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Some men are threatened by strong women and feel the need to turn it into a negative. If I were you, I'd ignore it and go on with my life. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 Some men are threatened by strong women and feel the need to turn it into a negative. If I were you, I'd ignore it and go on with my life. I am ignoring it ( well I am actually laughing about it) but would really like to know what he might have been meaning. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) Here in the USA, "hard woman" wouldn't be a compliment. Like someone who is unbending with loved ones and perhaps punishes a lot. Old people say strange things. What does he know? My public face looks rather cold; people may think all sorts of things, but what matters is how my kids feel at home. Edited December 6, 2016 by SKL 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I interpret that phrase as strict and no-nonsense, not necessarily a terrible thing, possibly even meant as a compliment? 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Tough as nails (like a female CEO or CFO) OT: I had a tweety pie toy as a baby in the early 70s 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSmomof2 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I interpret that phrase as strict and no-nonsense, not necessarily a terrible thing, possibly even meant as a compliment? I agree.....I'd think it meant you are tough, no-nonsense. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 In this part of the world it means straight up, stand on your own two feet, mean what you say and don't take any nonsense. It would depend on how it was said as to whether they meant it as a compliment or not - in the context you described above, probably 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Strict. Stern. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) I suspect he may mean you have firm boundaries, are assertive and let the consequences fall when appropriate. Many people, these days, consider this harsh, however, it usually makes life easier for the children down the road. People considered my parenting strict but my son once said to someone: "No, she is not strict; she just means what she says." Edited December 6, 2016 by Liz CA 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobeatenpath Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 If someone had said this to me (or about me) in Australia, I doubt it was meant as a compliment ESPECIALLY if it was a caveat to a compliment he had just paid. My guess is exactly as Scholastica wrote: Some men are threatened by strong women and feel the need to turn it into a negative. He's being a bit of a dick, especially saying that to your husband about his spouse. Though take it as a compliment - if that is what he thinks about strong sensible intelligent women, do you really want him to compliment you? :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 It means he is making assumptions on who you are based on what he hasn't learned from listening because you don't talk much. It also means he's not going to try and steal you away from your dh. This is a relief, I'm sure. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) I think it can have a positive or negative meaning. Since he gave a compliment (did a great job with your son) and followed it with "but," then the next part was not meant to be a compliment, I don't think. But you never know. Is the guy generally a decent sort; do you get along OK with him and all that? If so, I wouldn't worry about it. Could be just a compliment gone awry. Well, either way I wouldn't worry about it! :-) Edited December 6, 2016 by marbel 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I think it means that he thinks you are not the kind of woman a man can take advantage of and he feels sorry for your husband because he thinks women should be taken advantage of. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I think it means nothing, really. A mother described as a hard woman, for example, just means one who doesn't let her kids get away with anything. Strict mother would be another way to describe it. To me, that is a compliment. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I interpret that phrase as strict and no-nonsense, not necessarily a terrible thing, possibly even meant as a compliment? Around here, this is the interpretation I'd put on it. A lot would depend on tone of voice. In my mind I "hear" it with a humorous tone, meant as a back-handed compliment to a no-nonsense mom who's done well. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) Given in the context I think it has to do with strictness but most often I would hear this phrase in relation to a specific action, said slightly sarcastically or humorously not as an overall statement of character. As in... Your Ma won't let you ride your motorbike unless you've done your schoolwork - wow she's a hard woman. I think hard woman is not usually intended as a compliment but is less negative/more positive in a parenting context than any other one. Edited December 6, 2016 by Ausmumof3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I'd take it as a compliment if it were said to me. I strive to be strict and stern, to be a "hard woman". Hard women are the ones who make it in this world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I'd assume he meant you are no nonsense when it comes to homeschooling. You don't let your kid get away with stuff. You are rigorous. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 It is disapproval. So what. I'd grin big if someone called me a hard woman. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I would take it to mean that you are strict and don't let your children get away with misbehavior. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) nm Edited December 21, 2016 by ..Kathy.. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 It sounds like an old phrase to me. I picture an old western film with a lady not forgiving a man who did something really stupid. He'd answer, "She's a hard woman." In this context, I have no idea at all what it might mean. What did your dh take it to mean? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I think I would take it as a compliment. You're a woman who is tough enough to do what she needs to do. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 People considered my parenting strict but my son once said to someone: "No, she is not strict; she just means what she says." I like what your son said. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Strict and unsmiling. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Says a good deal more about him, than you, that he's making any such comment at all to your husband. As for the meaning of "hard woman," I would as a tactical matter go with, "bad ass." Which is to say, take it as a compliment whether or not it's meant as one, lol. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 I'd take it as a compliment if it were said to me. I strive to be strict and stern, to be a "hard woman". Hard women are the ones who make it in this world. Yes. No matter how he intended it, TAKE it as a compliment. You are a steel magnolia. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MFG Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 I would rather be thought of as a hard women than as a soft one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bwdiaz Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 I can't decipher what it means for you but I want to know why your husband thought it was a good idea to tell you this? Does he think the neighbor paid you a compliment? If not why would he tell you that someone said something about you that wasn't? If hubby knows you at all he'd know you'd spin wheels parsing it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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