Janemax Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 We have family holiday gatherings twice a year and my brother or his step children keep inviting his ex even though the rest of us are uncomfortable with it. It wasn't a pleasant divorce and she caused a lot of pain in our family and has turned out not to be the person we all thought she was. My brother has no interest in reconciling with her and their only connection is than they share children, but he has forgiven her and is cordial with her. Her children are still included in our gatherings as we have been their family since they were toddlers and they are very kind and respectable adults now who we have always loved. There is no one host to our gatherings as we don't meet at anyone's home, usually a restaurant or park. We never have any notice that the ex is coming and sometimes she shows up saying she has to ask one of her kids something or drop something off with them. She lives within 5 miles of her kids and sees them multiple times a week. None the less, she is knowledgable of where and when we are gathering and makes a point of showing up. She doesn't talk to any of us unless one of us says something to her, she doesn't eat a meal with us, just sits with her kids. She has her own big family to have holidays with, but keeps showing up at ours, usually late and unexpected. How can we kindly tell my brother we don't want her there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 I'd leave it alone, if I were you. If you think a cordial relationship between them is bad, you won't want to see it aggravated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Welcome, Janemax. Do you homeschool your children? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 It sounds like your brother has decided it is important for his DC to have their mother with them on holidays. Unless you've we witnessed abuse at these gatherings or gave proof she is stealing your grandmother's jewelry and silver, I'd respect your brother's decisions and be be polite to the ex. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeainUSA Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Let your brother have his step kids there. Let him have that. Saying something could ruin a whole lot for him, for them and for you guys and seeing them. That is their mom. I do think it's odd she comes and can see why it's annoying and then some. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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