I need someone to tell me this will work!

[lollie010]

We've always homeschooled. It's been challenging, as my older two (now 7th and 6th grade) are dyslexic. Elementary grades were a beast, with me hanging on by a thread begging the Lord for mercy most days. 😀 Things have smoothed out now, and they are at or above where I would like them to be in most areas. We have finally hit on the right resources and they are excelling and working independently on a lot of their assignments.

 

My 2nd grader learns differently than the older kiddos. You just tell him something one time and he's all good with it. He enjoys his work and is generally compliant and content. I also have an almost four your old, sassy little lady, full of energy who is ready for some attention during the day.

 

For the first time since we began homeschooling, it looks like I am kind of "coming up for air." It was nice, BUT...

 

We suddenly got hit with some MAJOR financial issues. Many families would have been able to absorb the hits, but after years of scraping by on one modest income in order to homeschool we sank quickly. I've always had my feelers out for part time work that could help fill in the gaps a bit, but the math never worked out. The bottom line really never shifted after covering expenses and everything.

 

So, I'm at a place where I need to consider working full time. My husband teaches so his hours are pretty easy with good sick leave, and summers off. He's home by 3:20. Now that the kids are doing better academically and maturing, I don't feel so crushed about the idea.

 

I have a friend/neighbor that I've known for years, who homeschooled one son (he's recently graduated) and she would love to watch the kids during the day. She would come and make sure the big kids are working through their assignments which I will go over with them beforehand. She will help the second grader, but I will have to do most of the instruction on nights and weekends. She will do light housework, prepare meals and get the kiddos organized and ready for their afternoon activities. She works as a volunteer with the fire department (with all of the safety certifications included) and is a certified dog trainer (helpful with us having two dogs in the house who are challenging).

 

The kiddos want to continue homeschooling. They say they would rather this arrangement than the public school. They have huge extracurriculars and sports that going to public school would effect. We could regroup and reconsider in May when DH is out for summer.

 

I think I could probably find a full time job fairly quickly with my background and experience, if I'm not super picky about salary. I never would have considered this in the past, but maybe now is a good time to try. I'm trying to stay positive because I'm not sure I really have any other choices right now.

 

Does this seem better than plopping them in school midyear? They have some friends at the public school. They also have some friends at the classical private school, but we can't pull off tuition until maybe next year. They love being home during the day and are generally out all afternoon and evening for extracurriculars. I will miss them like crazy, but I think we would adjust. Big decisions!!!

[lmrich]

Your neighbor is the key to making this work! Do you know how much you are going to pay her? Would she be willing to teach a subject, say math, daily so you can rest assured that is done before you or your husband arrive home? Could you look into a job with flexible hours? If you could work 10 - 6, you could get a lesson done before you left, then your husband could do a lesson when he arrives home. Do you use the computer already for classes? 

[lollie010]

Your neighbor is the key to making this work! Do you know how much you are going to pay her? Would she be willing to teach a subject, say math, daily so you can rest assured that is done before you or your husband arrive home? Could you look into a job with flexible hours? If you could work 10 - 6, you could get a lesson done before you left, then your husband could do a lesson when he arrives home. Do you use the computer already for classes?

I want to keep control of math for now. We've used Singapore (and AOPS) and, honestly, I wouldn't want anyone to have to deal with learning those programs on three different levels. 😄 But, I would feel comfortable with her doing some of the history/science/art/geography. I don't think I would be able to hand over grammar/writing/math/spelling. We aren't using any fully online programs right now, but I'm open to it. I think they would love some of the WTMA classes, but we've been limited in the past by finances.

[Jan in SC]

This wouldn't work for me. Unless you are a very well paid professional, and you might be, I would think that you'd have to pay your neighbor what you would make. If your neighbor is being gracious and doing it for free, I would worry that she would suddenly drop the ball out of boredom, or it would overwhelm her. You would then have to scramble to find something else to do with them. Finally, I would have control issues with what she taught versus what I taught them, and half the subjects wouldn't be completed. It sounds exhausting.

 

I know it's probably not what you hoped to hear, but that's how it would work in my house.

[lollie010]

This wouldn't work for me. Unless you are a very well paid professional, and you might be, I would think that you'd have to pay your neighbor what you would make. If your neighbor is being gracious and doing it for free, I would worry that she would suddenly drop the ball out of boredom, or it would overwhelm her. You would then have to scramble to find something else to do with them. Finally, I would have control issues with what she taught versus what I taught them, and half the subjects wouldn't be completed. It sounds exhausting.

 

I know it's probably not what you hoped to hear, but that's how it would work in my house.

Yes. I know it's probably going to be like a dagger in my heart, but I'm going to try to keep a positive attitude. I've been in control of EVERYTHING. Maybe it would be better just to go the school route. Tough decisions. I've been crying for three days. 😢 I do have a good earning capacity a health care attorney working in hospital administration , but it will take a little time to build back up to a fraction of what I made before. But, at that point maybe DH could retire from teaching and start running the household. 😢 I've confused myself. Lol!!

[busymama7]

I could work if the math works now I guess. But the neighbor would deserve a hefty salary for that level of work and that has to factor into what you would be actually bringing home.

[mamiof5]

If you can come to an agreement with your neighbor and find a good balance between your income and what you can pay her I don't see why it wouldn't work.

 

Yes, it'll be a change. But at least at home they are somewhat following what you have chosen. She's not choosing their curriculum, hopefully she'll be more of an aid, following the plan and curriculum YOU have chosen for your family. Yes, it might not be your same teaching style etc, but you would still have much say and involvement in your kids education. At school you would have no choice of what they are taught and how.

 

If the kids are willing to try, she is willing to try, and you can come up with an arrangement that benefits both parties (your family and her), I don't see why it can't work.

 

I hope you can figure out!! I'm sorry you are going through this, it must be really hard :(

[Lecka]

I am concerned about you having little time with your two older kids if they are very involved with extracurriculars.

 

It depends on your work schedule, but I would look at how much time you would have with them and think about how much of it can be filled up.

 

If you are going to focus on weekends or have your husband pick up there, then I think that goes a long way.

 

That is just my first thought on seeing you currently are with them during days and they are busy in the evening.

 

I mean, there is missing kids and then there is missing kids. If you are really not going to see much of them, vs see less of them than you do now, I would think about that.

 

If you are ready to focus on your younger kids after work and your husband is doing a lot, it could be a total non-issue too.

 

I am a public school parent and I need some good time with my kids on week nights. But my oldest is 11, which makes a difference.

[katilac]

I am concerned about you having little time with your two older kids if they are very involved with extracurriculars.

 

 

 

But the amount of time she spends with them in the evening will be the same whether she sends them to school or has the neighbor help at home, yes? And working doesn't sound very optional. 

 

OP, it might be worth trying the neighbor option, bc you can always send them to school if it doesn't work out. Ideally, it might work long enough for you to figure out the next step. 

 

What is crucial, imo, is to have a clear exit strategy for both you and the neighbor. Assess on a monthly basis, and agree that either of you can nix the plan with no hard feelings. Figure out a decent notice for each of you to give, say two weeks or a month. If she wants to quit, she gives you that notice to make plans. If you want to quit, you pay her that severance. 

 

Figure out stuff like: is it okay for neighbor to leave kids alone for a bit while she runs home and puts in laundry? Would this be at a planned time each day or as needed? What if she wants to run errands, is it cool to pop the kids in the car and go? 

 

Because it's less than a school year to get through before dh is home for the summer, I would probably at least try to make it work. 

[Anne in CA]

I always worked part time on evenings and weekends and made much more money than I would have full time paying daycare. I did have to pay a little childcare here and there, mostly when I would need to be at work early and dh wasn't coming home until later. 

 

OP, I would suggest that you get a catering/ banquets job to get you through the holidays. You won't need experience, you will need a good attitude and work ethic. After the holidays I would suggest you see how it's going and look for full time work then. But I would ease into working full time. It's a huge life change. Also, if you work for a large hotel the vacation benefits are usually very good.  You are working hard and should make plans for some playing too.