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Stop saying "Everything in Moderation".


poppy
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Everything in Moderation --- what does this mean to you?

 

I think it means "be like me.".  I think people say "everything in moderation" to mean 'don't over-indulge or underindulge in this thing I do not over-indulge or under-indulge in'.

It is a way of placing yourself as the norm. It is a selfish way of looking at the world.  It never actually means, literally, "everything".

 

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I don't take it that way at all. But then, I don't hear people use it in reference to literally every situation. Mostly I hear it used in regard to diet, exercise, activities, minor indulgences, etc., so I'm not understanding how it's a selfish way of viewing the world. As a general thing, it seems like basic good advice.

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I usually hear it in reference to food. Sort of as a reflexive to our grande latte, giant cinnabon, olive garden pasta portions way of consuming food in America.

 

As in, those things taste good but we can't eat all the things and be healthy. So, everything in moderation. I've also heard it used in reference to obsessive exercise and working too much.

 

It's a turn of phrase, so probably the person does not mean literally everything, but it's common that idioms are not to be taken literally.

 

I have no idea how it would be used selfishly...maybe self-righteously or sanctimonious?

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Everything in Moderation --- what does this mean to you?

 

I think it means "be like me.". I think people say "everything in moderation" to mean 'don't over-indulge or underindulge in this thing I do not over-indulge or under-indulge in'.

It is a way of placing yourself as the norm. It is a selfish way of looking at the world. It never actually means, literally, "everything".

It does not bother me when people say this. I think it is most often used when the other person does not want to argue with you about how you live your life, though they may not wish to scold you over it. So, i.e.:

 

Person A: "darn. Every week I buy five lottery tickets and i have never even won a dollar."

 

Person B, thinking, I don't buy lottery tickets at all and view that as wasting resources.: "Well, everything in moderation."

 

Certainly seems better than Person B saying, "So you're saying you throw away five dollars every week and you're mad you haven't become the 1:1,978,632,679 people who have won?" (Although I admit I really like the elegance in that second response.) ;)

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I take it differently, but don't hear it as often as I used to. We were discussing moderation in regard to wine yesterday in French class. We had to figure out whether the sentence recommending a glass of red wine for good health was true or false. It may be true in moderation, but false if you think that because it's possibly good you are free to drink 3-4 glasses a night with the same results. 

 

I see it more as individual  or human balance over cultural norms. I like new sweaters but I don't need five new sweaters because that would create an imbalance in my closet space. For someone else five sweaters would not be a problem financially or space wise. 

 

Moderation, to me, is an awareness (stop and assess type of thing) that you realize more or less of something is not always better. 

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It does not bother me when people say this. I think it is most often used when the other person does not want to argue with you about how you live your life, though they may not wish to scold you over it. So, i.e.:

 

Person A: "darn. Every week I buy five lottery tickets and i have never even won a dollar."

 

Person B, thinking, I don't buy lottery tickets at all and view that as wasting resources.: "Well, everything in moderation."

 

Certainly seems better than Person B saying, "So you're saying you throw away five dollars every week and you're mad you haven't become the 1:1,978,632,679 people who have won?" (Although I admit I really like the elegance in that second response.) ;)

 

Ah, I could see it as a conversational dodge.

I more often see it as a parry:

 

I am low carb / I am vegetarian.... well not me, everything in moderation! (Says a person who eats very little variety-- chicken/pork/pasta/potatoes).

I limit screens for my kids.... well not me, everything in moderation! (Says the person who watches TV every day and is on Facebook all the time, but I guess not 24/7 = moderation)

 

I also can't get past the word "everything".  We don't smoke in moderation. We aren't all moderately evil. 

 

** I will also add, stating being low carb, vegetarian, screen free can be kinda obnoxious in some contexts too**

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I hear it and use it mostly in relation to food...I don't really see it as being "selfish"? I mean, I guess it is a way of justifying some of the philosophy of how we eat, in contrast to some other philosophies. But if the subject of "does your family eat____" (insert some "unhealthy" food in the blank) comes up then it seems like a reasonable thing to say.

 

 

Kid: Can I just eat a bunch of bananas for lunch? Bananas are healthy food!

Me: Sure, they are a great food to eat, but you'll be missing out on other things your body needs if you only eat banana today. Everything in moderation!

 

Friend: I don't let my kids eat _______, because it is just so unhealthy.

Me: We focus on having a balanced diet overall, and not viewing certain foods as "forbidden". We say, "Everything in moderation" and allow a small amount of ____ for dessert or an occasional treat.

Edited by kirstenhill
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I don't interpret it as selfish.  I hear it mostly in terms of food.  Instead of being so dogmatic about what is the healthiest diet (for everyone), you might come to the conclusion that "everything in moderation" is really not bad at all.  So, it may not be the most researched, scientific conclusion, but it's a generally quite balanced conclusion.

 

So, maybe that's what it is.  A generally healthy balance.

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Everything in Moderation --- what does this mean to you?

 

I think it means "be like me.".  I think people say "everything in moderation" to mean 'don't over-indulge or underindulge in this thing I do not over-indulge or under-indulge in'.

It is a way of placing yourself as the norm. It is a selfish way of looking at the world.  It never actually means, literally, "everything".

 

 

I translate it to mean take a moderate view of things - to not lean too far to the left or to the right, that there is value in recognizing others' points of view and being moderate.  I agree to some ends and not to others. ;) I have been guilty of saying it. :D

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I never saw it as placing oneself as the norm.  I can see how it could be, but it never occurred to me.  There are a lot of things I don't eat or do that I wouldn't judge someone else for doing, but I do think once something takes over life or diet that's when the saying comes in.

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Ah, I could see it as a conversational dodge.

I more often see it as a parry:

 

I am low carb / I am vegetarian.... well not me, everything in moderation! (Says a person who eats very little variety-- chicken/pork/pasta/potatoes).

I limit screens for my kids.... well not me, everything in moderation! (Says the person who watches TV every day and is on Facebook all the time, but I guess not 24/7 = moderation)

 

I also can't get past the word "everything". We don't smoke in moderation. We aren't all moderately evil.

 

** I will also add, stating being low carb, vegetarian, screen free can be kinda obnoxious in some contexts too**

I can see how it would be annoying if people were often not really being moderate in want they were saying. I see it more often as a hedge against the obnoxious people who have a bit of a "holier than thou" attitude about the things they or their family abstain from.

 

And it is just an expression....so yeah, not "literally" everything...but I think in the context of food it does kind of make sense, if that is the kind of diet you eat (not forbidding anything in particular). When someone says "everything in moderation" in the context of food, I don't think anyone is going to start thinking about smoking or violence or illegal activities in moderation. ;-)

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I typically hear it as a response the all-or-nothing culture we've become.

 

Statement:

I drink SuperFoodBlendedDrink for breakfast and lunch daily

I could never eat a donut -- don't you know they kill you?!

OMG,  you let your kids watch television??!?!

 

Response:  

Oh well, you know...I follow more of a "everything in moderation" philosophy.

 

 

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I don't take it that way at all. But then, I don't hear people use it in reference to literally every situation. Mostly I hear it used in regard to diet, exercise, activities, minor indulgences, etc., so I'm not understanding how it's a selfish way of viewing the world. As a general thing, it seems like basic good advice.

 

This is how I've heard it (and used it) as well.

 

To me, it means balance without undue rigidity.

It means chocolate and wine have a place in my diet because they bring me joy.

And neither to overeat nor get drunk nor depriving myself.

 

I love this explanation.  It's totally how we respond to life indulging when we want to, but not going overboard.

 

I think it's a good way to handle living.

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I typically hear it as a response the all-or-nothing culture we've become.

 

Statement:

I drink SuperFoodBlendedDrink for breakfast and lunch daily

I could never eat a donut -- don't you know they kill you?!

OMG, you let your kids watch television??!?!

 

Response:

Oh well, you know...I follow more of a "everything in moderation" philosophy.

I suppose it is preferable to what I would be tempted to say in those situations: "Oh well, sucks to be you."
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I understand the philosophy behind the phrase, but I can see the annoyance when moderation really doesn't work. In regard to food, some people simply can't limit themselves to just a little bit of something. I do much better if I just don't eat any French fries or Halloween candy because if I start eating it's extremely difficult to stop. Abstaining completely is the healthier option than fighting the reward system in my brain that just wants one more mini snickers. And that "one more" is never the last one.

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I don't think it means anything like that.

 

I think it's basic common sense advice.

 

I would generally expect it to be used to remind someone to keep things in perspective. If a friend complained she's over indulged in some way I might say philosophically "Oh well, one day won't kill you. Cut back tomorrow. Everything in moderation." As a previous poster said, I'd also use it to counter an extreme position, with a response of "I'm more of an everything-in-moderation person." Again, it's about perspective, the big picture, a reality check.

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To me, it means most of us don't need to absolutely deny ourselves - enjoy the good things in life - and also do work / exercise, but at some point more isn't better.  I tell this to my close friend who tends to overdo every health kick - exercising to the point of hurting herself, diets like the Atkins that made her loathe her previously favorite meat treat.  It also applies to me, who used to deny myself many things because of fat or sugar content.  Moderation tends to be more healthy as well as more fun.

 

I'd never say it to someone I wasn't very close to though.  I could see how that would seem holier-than-thou.

 

Then again, seeing the comments, I agree it is a reasonable comeback to people who are themselves talking very holier-than-thou.

Edited by SKL
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I don't say it that often (and when I do sometimes I add the bit "...said the immoderate Greeks."). But like others are saying, I like it as applied to minor things - exercise, food, small expenditures. I also don't get it being selfish or judgey. And obviously not everything in moderation would be good (I definitely don't want to breathe in moderation or, on the other end, use meth in moderation). But I'm not trying to tell anyone that their sense of moderation is off.

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To me, it means balance without undue rigidity.

It means chocolate and wine have a place in my diet because they bring me joy.

And neither to overeat nor get drunk nor depriving myself.

 

I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

I've seen that sometimes it is used as a bit of passive aggressive dig. 

 

Sometimes people take the mere stating of your beliefs as an attack on theirs, that is on them and not on you. Oh well. 

 

What works for one person doesn't work for another and that's ok.

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

Huh. I don't think I hear it in those contexts much. It's more often that I'll hear these sorts of exchanges...

 

"I'll have the steak. (aside to dining partner) I've been trying to cut back, but, you know, all things in moderation." Subtext: please don't judge.

 

"Can we watch a movie?" "Sigh. Yes. Sure. You were outside all day, so I guess, all things in moderation." Subtext for any other adults listening: we're trying to get a balance with screens.

 

"Want to come hiking again this weekend?" "I'd love to, but I'm beat from yesterday. All things in moderation, I guess." Subtext: I'm impressed you're able to keep going, but my muscles are killing me.

 

I agree it could come off a bit rude in the examples you give. But also... sometimes the person who's like, "We're gluten free!" is coming off a bit rude - I've definitely had conversations with diet enthusiasts are a bit tone deaf that you don't agree with their take on things and aren't interested in trying their solution. Depends on a greater context.

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

I really think you're overthinking this and ascribing thoughts and motives to people who probably don't intend to set themselves up as the norm against which everything and everyone else is to be judged.

 

Of course, there are some people who would use the phrase and mean it in the most offensive and judgmental way. Maybe you've been unfortunate to have run-ins with that type of person. Most of who use the phrase don't use it as a coded judgment for or against anything. That would defeat the purpose of the phrase, it seems to me in my admittedly caffeine deprived state.

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

But many of us only make these decisions for our own families.  

 

We ate Spam the other day when middle son was home from college.  It was super tasty and brought back great memories of HI (where we were introduced to the delicious treat).  We don't eat it regularly - hence - moderation.  It never once occurred to me that we're the norm (or aren't) or that anyone out there not eating or despising Spam is "wrong."  Everything in moderation - including Spam - is just our way of justifying our own actions.  We firmly believe it - hence - no guilt when we indulge.

 

If people are saying it to you, perhaps they are being judgmental, of course, but you certainly don't have to let it bother you any more than someone thinking we're destined for doom due to eating Spam doesn't bother me.

 

There are people I know IRL who are far more rigid (either direction) than we are.  There are some who won't eat anything they think is unhealthy or an animal product or whatever and there are some who won't eat veggies and seem to diss anything remotely resembling healthy.  That's life.  We all get to choose for ourselves.  That doesn't mean our motto of "Everything in moderation" is wrong (for us).  It merely means we've made different choices.

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

I don't know.  I think you are reading into it.  If one of your friends delved into eating meat and the benefits of that after you saying you don't eat meat, I think that would be much more obnoxious.  I think it's just one way to deflect without getting into an argument or discussing further.  And I have been vegetarian (ended up constantly anemic - just doesn't work well for my body), have had elimination diet at points (severe IBS), and we have been screen free at points when my kids were younger.  So I do get all those choices for sure.

 

I think when you approach someone with a lifestyle choice that works for you that might not work for everyone, it's easy for people to feel defensive.  Especially depending on tone.  Saying "I don't eat meat" in an unapproving way can also come off as a passive aggressive dig.  I do agree, that's on the person listening.  However, at the same time you are reading into "Everything in moderation".  I would take it as "Hmmm that probably wouldn't work well at our house ... moving on.". 

 

As homeschoolers in a very liberal area, I feel like we get a lot of remarks that are kind of weird.  About socialization, college, etc.  When you make unconventional choices that many wouldn't ever consider, it's good not to invest too much mental energy into what other people say without giving thought in passing.   I'm still friends with many people who put their foot in their mouth during our early days of homeschooling.

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I actually am a vegetarian and learned long ago it is socially.... not unacceptable , but awkward to bring up. So I almost never do.

 

I guess I just wished the 'everything in moderation' folks were as caution about realizing their way isn't something that is universally true .

 

Course this is me being too rigid again, haha.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Whether something is socially acceptable or not totally depends upon your crowd.  Humans very naturally align with others who share common beliefs or habits with them.  It makes us feel like we're smart - we've made a good choice and others affirm it.

 

When someone chooses something else for their life it automatically triggers a thought that something is wrong.  We don't want to think it's wrong with us, therefore, it has to be wrong with them.  We (humans) look for reasons why they aren't as smart/educated, etc, to give us an answer to our problem.  Often we'll try to educated them "knowing" that if they can only see what we see, they'll agree with us.  They just don't know or haven't experienced enough.

 

It takes a bit to come to the realization that perfectly intelligent people - just as smart as we are - can come to different conclusions and make different decisions about their lives.  Not everyone reaches that point - esp if they mostly hang around with those who reaffirm their decisions.

 

Vegetarians naturally think this way just as much as carnivores or moderation folks do.

 

All said because it might be helpful to understand the (very natural) human thinking behind various reactions.  At least for me, understanding helps me not put more emphasis on someone's response than I should.

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

I get it. We've made some more radical changes in our life and people don't like it. We've heard the "everything in moderation" phrase way too many times. It's really a useless cliche (don't know how to add an accent in Firefox!). Some things need to be moderated, like food, while others don't, like love. When I deny myself for the sake of love and others get uptight about it then this phrase can sound so grating. For example, we try quite hard to avoid sweatshop purchases. I don't generally bring it up but sometimes it's unavoidable. When I try to explain myself, this phrase often comes up. It's just so irritating in this context. Is moderation really better than extreme love? I would argue that most people live that way but as a Christian, trying to take Jesus as seriously as possible, I don't think that's how I ought to live.

 

All I've got to say is, live by your convictions. Are you really going to be happy any other way? Just be prepared for the fact that it's most people's conviction that we all ought to live out the motto, "all things in moderation."

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

You may or may  not be reading the subtext wrong. That's the trouble with subtext - you don't actually know what's going on in someone's head. I know that I tend to have a running dialogue in my head that states that the other person in a conversation must be thinking poorly of me, when in actuality that other person is either just having a pleasant conversation with me or is possibly worried about what I think of her.

 

If someone mentions that they are vegetarian and also dye and gluten free, I may say a version of "Heh, everything in moderation rules in my household", but what I'm really thinking is "Yeah, I need to give that a try for [insert reason here], but I am so overwhelmed with feeding 3 picky eaters, I keep breaking out the poptarts for breakfast & the frozen convenience foods for lunch & dinner! Wish I had it all together like this person does..."  

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I don't agree with your interpretation, although I do find the phrase annoying because the only person I know who uses it has a tendency to talk about food in terms of "sinfulness," which is another trait I find irritating. My background is from SE Asia, and nobody I know from there describes food as sinful or derives a sense of righteousness from avoiding certain foods. I haven't travelled the whole world of course, but I have travelled quite a bit, and this seems to be a uniquely American (Puritan?) characteristic.

 

Eat it or don't eat, it, but don't discuss whether you're being a "good" or "bad" person accordingly, or describe food as sinful or say "all things in moderation" as a way to excuse yourself from taking a piece of cobbler. That's my take on it, anyway. 

 

I told you I found it irritating.  :tongue_smilie:

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It brings some people joy, health, and balance to control segments of their life. It brings other people joy, health, and balance to NOT focus on segments of their diet, screen time, or physical activity.

Sometimes a person has tried whatever aspect you are discussing, and it brought stress, or mental illness instead of helping a problem.

Maybe a person is tired of hearing about how they need to change their life, and they just want to live it.

Or they could be trying to be rude to you.

 

ETA: I'm not saying that you are being rude, but that sometimes I might say something similar if someone suggests I do something I know won't fit for my family. I've also had this conversation:

 

Child in play group: I watched this cool show called Super Mario, and I love it!

 

Parent #1 to group: Well! The shows these days are so strange! You know, my kids only watch a family movie once a week, and we run it through our filter.

 

Parent of child: Well, everything in moderation works fine in our house.

Edited by Outdoorsy Type
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Ah, I could see it as a conversational dodge.

I more often see it as a parry:

 

I am low carb / I am vegetarian.... well not me, everything in moderation! (Says a person who eats very little variety-- chicken/pork/pasta/potatoes).

I limit screens for my kids.... well not me, everything in moderation! (Says the person who watches TV every day and is on Facebook all the time, but I guess not 24/7 = moderation)

 

 

Well, that WOULD be really irritating if someone is using it to be judgmental about your food choices, which are no one else's business.

 

I guess it depends on the context. Person A could use it to criticize Person B's food choices if Person B has chosen to restrict his/her diet for health or any other reason. (Translation: "I think you're foolish to not eat the range of things I eat.")

 

Person A might also use it to deflect Person B's criticism of Person A for NOT making the same restrictive choices. (Translation: "I think you're foolish for not cutting certain foods from your diet completely.")

 

For the record, I am not in any way saying you do that.

 

As a general philosophy of life, though, I personally think it's pretty good.

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I think either you're reading too much into the phrase, or someone in your life is using it in their own special way.

 

When I hear or say "all things in moderation," it usually means the speaker is trying not to be too rigid/too overindulgent/too underindulgent with his or her own life.

 

I would never use it as a comment on another's life or choices unless I were being asked specifically for advice on finding a balance in a particular area AND I felt that it was appropriate and respectful in the situation.

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I really am not explaining myself well- what I've written is a little convoluted, but, it's not really how I *think* of it every time.
I'm not sure why it irks me so much.

I think partly because it's not literally true. At all.  It's not everything.  It's a selection of things that you like, and find worthy of including in your life.  

 

It also has this Greek connection that gives it a sheen of wisdom that it doesn't (IMO) deserve.

 

Thanks everyone for indulging me in my vent.

 

 

 

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

Consider the possibility that the people reacting this way are feeling defensive.  Why are you bringing these things up?  If you aren't eating meat because of ethical concerns, are you possibly making the listener feel like you think they aren't as ethical as you?  Perhaps they feel you think them less clean eaters than you, or too unconcerned about their kids' media diet?

 

I would just stay away from these topics, knowing that they can make people feel defensive and respond accordingly, thus making you feel defensive in turn.

 

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When I hear it I mentally translate it as "lalalala I don't want to change anything, go away & stop telling me this is unhealthy"

So in that sense I see that 'selfishness', the indulging of the desire to just keep doing what you're doing cause you like it & to heck with the consequences...   

 

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Never would have taken it that way. We use it with our kids all the time, since they were little. This phrase has been very useful to us, specially when we discuss about playing time (use of electronics vs other activities), eating habits, amount of extra curricular activities etc

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I think the "undue" part is what I interpret as "I am the norm".

 

 

I don't eat meat (subtext: I changed my diet due to ethical concerns ) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

We are trying dye free and gluten free (subtext: dealing with baffling behavior issues) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

My family has gone screen free (subtext: I am sharing something about myself that has brought us joy) - oh, well, everything in moderation (subtext: you are too rigid)

 

Is it possible you are reading a subtext into the phrase that the person saying it is not meaning it? And the person saying it is reading a subtext into your words other than the one you meant to impose?  Its really hard to argue perceived subtexts because they are simply perceived.

 

Edited by vonfirmath
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I really am not explaining myself well- what I've written is a little convoluted, but, it's not really how I *think* of it every time.

I'm not sure why it irks me so much.

I think partly because it's not literally true. At all.  It's not everything.  It's a selection of things that you like, and find worthy of including in your life.  

 

It also has this Greek connection that gives it a sheen of wisdom that it doesn't (IMO) deserve.

 

Thanks everyone for indulging me in my vent.

 

I'm going to guess you really can't stand "Raining cats and dogs."   :lol:

 

I think that it is unhealthy to judge others.  And rude. 

 

But a natural human trait we need to learn to overcome in many situations.  Studies on it are fascinating.  (Meaning MRI studies showing what is going on in the brain when we're shown options.  David Eagleman's Brain show "Why Do I Need You" http://www.pbs.org/show/brain-david-eagleman/ talks about this a little bit - or one can search for studies on google, etc.)

 

Otherwise, I totally agree with you.  I've just learned to not be offended myself (usually) when it happens to me.  (See my sig.)

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I'm going to guess you really can't stand "Raining cats and dogs."   :lol:

 

 

But a natural human trait we need to learn to overcome in many situations.  Studies on it are fascinating.  (Meaning MRI studies showing what is going on in the brain when we're shown options.  David Eagleman's Brain show "Why Do I Need You" http://www.pbs.org/show/brain-david-eagleman/ talks about this a little bit - or one can search for studies on google, etc.)

 

Otherwise, I totally agree with you.  I've just learned to not be offended myself (usually) when it happens to me.  (See my sig.)

 

Ha, I am ok with raining cats and dogs but I do get a really unpleasant mental image when someone says "I don't give a sh--".

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When I hear it I mentally translate it as "lalalala I don't want to change anything, go away & stop telling me this is unhealthy"

 

So in that sense I see that 'selfishness', the indulging of the desire to just keep doing what you're doing cause you like it & to heck with the consequences...   

 

 

 

Ooooh maybe.

I see it on message boards and Facebook groups a lot.  Someone posts an article advocating a new habit, there is often an "everything in moderation"  reply.

Like it's a reflexive response to  a suggestion of change... again, this is where I get the "what I do is the norm" thing.

 

Again, want to be clear, I don't run around telling people about my superior life and then get mad if they reply with a mild "everything in moderation". I am not a blowhard, I promise. 

.

 

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I don't see it as "what I do is the norm."  I see it as "for most people, moderation works pretty well."     I think that's true.  It happens that for me, "everything in moderation"  with regard to some foods doesn't work so well, but it still doesn't bother me.   

 

I don't talk about diet/food restrictions with people if I can help it.   Well, I do ask people coming to my house to eat if they have any, but that's about it.  

Edited by marbel
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