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Petty parking issue. Thoughts please.


EmmaNZ
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My house is one of 6 houses that share a parking area around the back. There are no marked parking bays, but people do tend to park in the same places usually.

 

The house next door was recently sold. We have had a number of months with builders vans and his family blocking many of the spaces. His family continually park in my usual spot which gets annoying.

 

Today the parking area was full of visitors, not his for a change though. In my spot as usual! I ended up parking where my neighbour usually parks and of course he came home. When he got there everybody else had left so it looked like I had chosen to park there. He left me a note on my windscreen saying this spot is owned by him and not to park there again.

 

Would you just leave it? Chalk it up to minor annoying neighbour stuff? Or would you write an annoying note back again (I want to do this because I am fed up of people in my spot!). I don't want to be rude though. What do you think?

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I'd talk to him or write a nice note. Say you'll avoid parking in that spot since you know it's nice to park in the same place each day, but point out to him which spot is traditionally "yours." Chat about the work vehicles so he knows that, while you aren't angry, you have been inconvenienced and he should be understanding about being occasionally inconvenienced as well.

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So nothing is marked off or assigned but you all kind of have your favorite spots to park and are in the habit of parking in said spots?  Not sure how the new people would have known that or where the workers should have parked, either.

 

I say the neighbors ought to get together and have an official meeting to unofficially straighten it all out.  Send out flyers with a specific date and time.  Whoever can come, comes.  Have it at your house, offer water and some cookies and hash out the issues.  Then write up some sort of plan.  Have everyone sign it that attended then send a copy to those who couldn't.  Include a phone number for them to call and ask questions.  Plan on a follow up meeting in a month to make sure the plan is working.  

 

Otherwise this could go on forever.  You, as neighbors, need to come up with a workable policy for yourselves since there is no possibility of "official" parking bays being set up by the owner of the parking area.

 

If you are not willing or able to get the ball rolling then you might send a polite note of apology to the neighbor that was upset you parked in his spot and explain that frequently you have been unable to park in your spot when you drive in (explain why) and you had to park in his spot.  Don't apologize for parking in his spot.  Apologize for the inconvenience of his having to park elsewhere and sympathize with him since you had to do the same thing for the same reason.  Then suggest that a neighborhood meeting might help.  Maybe he will get the ball rolling.  

 

I realize this is frustrating.  Just don't let this snowball into something that causes all of you to be upset with each other long term.  Stuff like this can make a location unpleasant to live in if it snowballs.  Try and be proactive in keeping everyone on a positive foot, if you can.  Good luck.

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Have a meeting to smooth the feathers, but dont expect anything.

 

Ime Nothing really works except first come first serve. Visitors wont respect assigned spots. People block garage doors and driveways and park on your lawn, as they know the PD cant keep up. You will still be parking elsewhere when someone has a party. Its part of modern living to be inconvenienced when the zoning rules dont insist on sufficient space, or people dont make parking arrangements for their guests. When my old neighbors threw a dinner party, they would park their vehicles elsewhere so the guests could have their spots. The guests knew space was limited so they would carpool or they would park in a public lot and walk. New neighbors' guests park on their lawn, block adjacent driveways and park on both sides up and down street such that the bus and emergency vehicles needed by the group home down the street cant get thru. Culture.

Edited by Heigh Ho
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I would go say something. Explain all the spots but that one was taken, and you normally try to park in your normal spot, but life happens.  

 

 

Once we were in an apt and were paying for a covered spot.  It was new construction so I didn't have to worry about which spot initially.  But at some point someone paid for a spot and I had been parking in it lol.  I was one spot off, but the note I received was AWFUL.  I mean, there was other parking and they could have simply asked the office to deal with it.  

 

 

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I might write this kind of note back:  "I share your preference to always have my usual parking spot free.  Unfortunately sometimes I come home and mine isn't free, so I have to park somewhere else.  Please know that if I am ever parked in your space, it is because my usual space was blocked, and I had to park somewhere.  :)"

 

Would it be allowed for you to put a parking cone in your spot to discourage others from parking there?

Edited by SKL
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I might write this kind of note back: "I share your preference to always have my usual parking spot free. Unfortunately sometimes I come home and mine isn't free, so I have to park somewhere else. Please know that if I am ever parked in your space, it is because my usual space was blocked, and I had to park somewhere. :)"

 

Would it be allowed for you to put a parking cone in your spot to discourage others from parking there?

That note sounds just right.
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The parking area is owned by the nearby stately home estate (complicated old English bylaws) and they are responsible for the upkeep of that area. There is no way they will agree to sorting out parking bays.

If they aren't going to get involved, what's to prevent you from painting up an official looking sign that says "this space reserved for the resident of #whatever"? Obviously at least one other neighbor feels this way! If all the residents follow suit, it should sort itself out.

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Meeting with the neighbors to sort it out, or just let it go. I don;t understand how the new people would understand where everyone parks traditionally without having it gently explained to them.

 

But I have a tendency to get irritated with people who think they "own" spots that aren't really theirs. (Like people who complain you parked on the street in front of their house where they usually park.)

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Have a get together with all 6 houses and discuss.

Agree.

 

Everyone needs to be there on the same page. Be sure to mention how polite you were letting workmen for his home use your space.

 

Discuss also what to do when contractors do come.

 

I am so glad I have an assigned space and neighbors who are helpful when I need another space.

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Our first townhome, we did not know parking was assigned, and moving day we parking right in front of our new place, with the moving truck right in front of our front door and our borrowed station wagon next to it..  We were in the middle of unloading when a neighbor came up and told us we were in her husband's parking slot.  That is when we learned that the spot right in front of our unit was not ours (the station wagon was in our spot, so that was ok) and our second allotted spot was around a different building (not enough room for everyone to have two spots in front of our building, as we were an end unit).  Lucky for us we only had one car.  And the neighbors were nice about letting us unload (he used our second spot that day). 

 

DD is in her first townhome with roomies.  We picked her unit in large park due to parking,  They have room in front of their garage (which is full of stuff, no one actually puts a car IN a garage here!) for 4 stacked cars (two side by side, two side by side behind them).  There is a public street a few doors down for additional overnight parking if needed (except on snow days).   A nicer townhome nearby we passed on as the nearest public street was several blocks away.  Er, no.  Guests have to park, too.

Edited by JFSinIL
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When we first moved into our current home, dh kept parking in a spot -- in front of our house -- that turned out to be the neighbor's daughter's favorite spot. Initially dh thought the space was his and his alone. Over time he got to know the daughter and liked her so much that he stopped parking in "her" spot all together.

 

Sometimes new people don't understand that there's a rhyme and reason. The daughter has since moved out and the parents still treat the space -- which, again, is in front of our house -- as if it's theirs. I'm kind of like, whatever.

 

I'd write a super kind note and see what you can get sorted out.

 

Alley

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Sorry I didn't get back to this yesterday. I appreciate everybody's responses. It is always useful to read an outsider's assessment of a situation - especially one where you feel angry.

 

I think I'm just going to let it go. I don't think a note, or a face to face chat will make any difference at all. My kids tell me that one of the other neighbours has already tried to talk to him about the parking. There are other incidents which make me think this particular neighbour doesn't give a hoot about his neighbours. My other neighbours have always been considerate about parking and most other things too.

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Sorry I didn't get back to this yesterday. I appreciate everybody's responses. It is always useful to read an outsider's assessment of a situation - especially one where you feel angry.

 

I think I'm just going to let it go. I don't think a note, or a face to face chat will make any difference at all. My kids tell me that one of the other neighbours has already tried to talk to him about the parking. There are other incidents which make me think this particular neighbour doesn't give a hoot about his neighbours. My other neighbours have always been considerate about parking and most other things too.

At this point it is hearsay, though, right?  I would just be afraid that each person would be sitting in their own camp getting ticked without actually trying to resolve this before it gets worse.  Opening up a line of positive dialogue as a community might not help but it really very well might.  From past experience, I have found that if I could get people talking in a positive way BEFORE things turned ugly it went much better than when I let things fester and people started building up lots of resentment and assumptions.  

 

But I realize that can be a very hard step to make.  And it might not net anything.  Good luck and best wishes.

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There is nothing you can do. He was in the wrong to contact you. Unless a space is paid for and marked with a "violaters will be towed" sign, it is first come, first served.

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Sorry I didn't get back to this yesterday. I appreciate everybody's responses. It is always useful to read an outsider's assessment of a situation - especially one where you feel angry.

 

I think I'm just going to let it go. I don't think a note, or a face to face chat will make any difference at all. My kids tell me that one of the other neighbours has already tried to talk to him about the parking. There are other incidents which make me think this particular neighbour doesn't give a hoot about his neighbours. My other neighbours have always been considerate about parking and most other things too.

 

I would still approach him. Who knows how the other neighbor's attitude was when they spoke? If you can be very friendly and open, and maybe not even bring up the parking just yet, perhaps you'll extend a line to him he can grab at some point in the future.

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