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Struggling


Terabith
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I've . . . haven't exactly lived up to my potential.

Dear sweet mama, you are NOT alone in this! This statement right here ^^^applies to ALL of us.

We all struggle. We all have self-doubt, moments of despair, panic, etc.

I'm not belittling your struggle or dx at all. I know it's a rough road. But I want to let you know that you are not alone.

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You are not over-reacting.  That is just the automatic female desire to not be a burden or make waves kicking in.  Ignore that desire.  It is time for the caretaker of the family to be taken care of for a bit.  Better to get help now and back on the road to stability and normalcy than wait until you feel even worse (should that happen).  Please take care of yourself by letting others take care of you. And keep us posted.  You got an entire Hive supporting you (kinda like you are a superhero) through this. 

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Eh. Shaky. Didn't sleep well but hanging in. Worried I'm overreacting and if I just try harder I can get through on my own. Will call around nine.

 

You are not overreacting.  It is always hard to get help for something "invisible" because it feels as if you have to explain/justify your need for help.  (hugs)  The staff will believe you.

 

Don't worry about the anyone judging you, the hospital workers have seen it all.  People come in for everything from overdoses to child abuse.  They get hit, cursed at, and more.  They absolutely won't be going home and complaining about your situation - it simply isn't even on their radar of negative experiences in the hospital.  

 

Praying that you are able to get the help you need, and that you can feel much better soon.

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I've been hypothyroid since I was 21. Been awhile since full workup beyond TSH.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

when you're feeling up to it, ask for a full thyroid panel: TSH, Free T3, Free T4, Reverse T3. The other numbers (e.g. total T3) don't mean a thing. Your TSH should be in the lower fourth of your lab's reference range; Free T3 in the upper fourth, Free T4 in the upper half. If your numbers are not in those ranges (optimal), then you are still hypothyroid.

 

Are you taking thyroid meds? If your numbers are not optimal, and you are taking a synthetic like Synthroid, you might consider asking for a natural desiccated thyroid such as NatureThroid.

 

Also, most women who have thyroid issues actually have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, which is an autoimmune disease. Although many of them will still need thyroid supplementation, diet changes can also make a big improvement. The Autoimmune Protocol is the most commonly recommended for Hashi's.

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Whether they are able to admit you or not we are here to talk and brainstorm and give as many virtual hugs and prayers as we can. Some days are just rough, even for the most mentally robust. It's ten times worse when you feel shaky and out of control. Love to you!

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I'm going to assume you were able to get in, since there are no updates.

My mom was bipolar. Just like pp said, my respect for her has only gone up over the years as I realize how self-aware she was in controlling her disease. She was always proactive about seeking help, and spent most of February in the hospital some years. Now that I'm dealing with a milder form of mental illness, I can only imagine how terrifying it was for her to lose control when she had me to take care of and worry about. But she always sought help and I was blissfully unaware of what was really going on with her.

 

You did the right thing in reaching out.

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I'm home now.  Definitely doing better.  They actually wanted to keep me another day, but I was really wanting to come home.  They were nice.  We did yoga and mindfulness meditation outside.  They had art therapy.  Lots of groups.  They upped my lithium.  They did a thyroid workup.  I don't have the numbers but they said my T4 was too low, I think?  But then they said that didn't mean anything since the TSH was in the range.  The nurse practitioner privately told me, however, that she thought it would be a good idea if  got an endocrinologist. 

 

I'm still tired.  I don't know if it's depression or just the never being alone/ constantly being checked on at night thing.  Still kinda shaky/ down/ fleeting "bad thoughts," but feel much, much better.  Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers. 

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