Adult age definitions

[Night Elf]

What's middle age and what's old? I'm 48 and have felt middle aged for a few years. DH thinks because people are living longer, the definitions have moved. He sees middle age as 50 - 69 and 70+ as old. I remember when someone turning 40 was considered a big deal because it's over the hill which is middle age, right? So do people still think that way? What do you think? Just random thoughts on this lazy Sunday afternoon.

[luuknam]

I had a related thread a little while back, and someone said that they considered middle age to be the middle of adulthood, not the middle of the life span. Which made some sort of sense to me. Of course, you're welcome to feel middle aged, and your husband is welcome to feel like he's still got a few years. Whatever makes y'all happy. :)

[TranquilMind]

What's middle age and what's old? I'm 48 and have felt middle aged for a few years. DH thinks because people are living longer, the definitions have moved. He sees middle age as 50 - 69 and 70+ as old. I remember when someone turning 40 was considered a big deal because it's over the hill which is middle age, right? So do people still think that way? What do you think? Just random thoughts on this lazy Sunday afternoon.

 

My mom always said "Older is always ten years ahead of wherever you are."  Works for me.

 

I have only just felt middle-aged in the last few years.  I'm with your husband. 

Like Dorothy in Golden Girls said, "You know what's young to me now?  Suddenly 40 is young."   (Blanche - who is well over 50 - says, "Oooh, aren't you sweet.")

 

It's all relative. 

[QueenCat]

In my opinion:

 

18-22: Barely adults

23-29: Young adults

30-40: ????, don't really know what to call this group, not young but not quite middle aged

41-60: Middle aged adults

61-70: ????, not middle aged, not elderly

71-80: Young elderly

81-95: Really elderly

96 & up: Old

[MinivanMom]

I think it can have more to do with life cycle than actual age. People used to get married young and have kids young, so they were empty-nest and becoming grandparents at younger ages. In that context 40 is pretty old, because you would have launched a kid or two and would be expecting grandchildren soon. Those life cycles are pushed back now.

 

I would say:

-Still single and finishing school: Young adults

-Establishing your career & starting a family: Adults

-Launching kids & seeing them start families: Middle aged

-Needing help to function in your home and/or no longer able to function independently: Elderly

[TrixieB]

What's middle age and what's old? I'm 48 and have felt middle aged for a few years.

 

I'm older than you are.  Sometimes I feel like I'm not a grown-up yet.  So maybe when I am about 70 I might consider myself middle-aged. 

 

[Guest]

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Edited September 9, 2020 by Æthelthryth the Texan

[Night Elf]

I don't mind feeling middle aged. DH is 59 though and he doesn't feel he's anywhere nearing old. He's in great shape and quite healthy. Moreso than me and I'm 11 years younger. Our youngest started college this year. I started feeling different when my kids were high school age. The fun homeschooling was over. I was no longer a parent of a young child and just felt different.

[TranquilMind]

I think it can have more to do with life cycle than actual age. People used to get married young and have kids young, so they were empty-nest and becoming grandparents at younger ages. In that context 40 is pretty old, because you would have launched a kid or two and would be expecting grandchildren soon. Those life cycles are pushed back now.

 

I would say:

-Still single and finishing school: Young adults

-Establishing your career & starting a family: Adults

-Launching kids & seeing them start families: Middle aged

-Needing help to function in your home and/or no longer able to function independently: Elderly

 

I was just getting started at nearly 40 with babies.  So I will latch on to this definition.  I'm not even quite middle-aged yet.  ;) 

 

[nd293]

I'm about to turn 45, and don't think of myself as remotely middle aged. I feel 'all grown up' in the best possible ways, no longer intimidated by much, confident in my parenting, brave to try new things I want to try and perfectly happy that there's things I'll never ever want to try, fitter than I've ever been. I imagine middle aged as being at the point where you're "settled" and starting to wind down your plans, so somewhere well over the halfway point in lifespan. Dh is 54, I wouldn't say he's middle aged either.

 

I'm not sure I'd ever have put an age on middle aged though. It's more an attitude, perhaps. The 'launching kids' definition might work, but there's plenty of people doing that in there 40s who start really going for life's big adventures then - again, not middle aged in my mind.

[Night Elf]

. I imagine middle aged as being at the point where you're "settled" and starting to wind down your plans, so somewhere well over the halfway point in lifespan. Dh is 54, I wouldn't say he's middle aged either.

 

Ah see, that's me. Settled. My kids are launched. I have no plans for anything except to just be. I don't want to work so don't have a career move to look forward to. Basically I'm retired.

[nd293]

I'm about to turn 40 and judging by my knees and the wrinkles suddenly showing up around my eyes, I'm considering myself middle aged. I bruise more easily, I take longer to recover from injuries than I used to and even looking at anything with a high sugar content and plastic wrap gives me heartburn. I figure I'll hang out in middle age until I need a knee replacement and then I'll be old.

I think we may have to separate the two concepts - physical and mental 'middle age'! As I said in my post above I feel very much that I'm in the prime of life at 45yrs, but I was indeed heard to mutter "Oh my back, oh my knees, oh I'm OLD" several times yesterday as I sat for an extended time on the floor. My body is heading into decline at its own merry pace. I'm the fittest I've ever been (not to be confused with actual fitness!), it's just that the parts are starting to wear out. I view it with some amusement, though, I'm not willing to let it define me quite yet.

Edited October 2, 2016 by nd293

[regentrude]

I find it has more to do with stage of life than with absolute years.

I am 48. I did not begin feeling "middle age" until my oldest moved away to college. I am wrapping up the active parenting stage of my life and am looking ahead to, and making plans for, the next phase, i.e. the next decades. I am more consciously aware of aging and life ending eventually - thoughts I did not have previously. But I am also aware that I quite possibly have another 40+ years left if my grandmothers' life spans are any indication  - so there's  a lot of life still to live, and plans to be made for that!

 

Biologically, I would put middle age around the onset of menopause.

 

But I imagine I would feel quite differently if I still had little children; I'd still not feel middle age  mentally.

 

ETA: Old age mentally will be when I no longer have plans and dreams, and have resigned to the status quo: retirement and just living out my days. 

Edited October 2, 2016 by regentrude

[regentrude]

Ah see, that's me. Settled. My kids are launched. I have no plans for anything except to just be. I don't want to work so don't have a career move to look forward to. Basically I'm retired.

 

That, for me, would be the definition of "old age".

[Barb_]

I'm 47 and I've begun feeling middle aged this year. I'm not sure why. My husband hit 50. I began to develop some signs of perimenopause. We've had some significantly stressful events this year. My 4th child turned 17 and is finally acting like a budding adult, so now I have more grown kids than children. Many things have conspired to make me feel older. I think of middle aged as the end of youth and the beginning of calm and wisdom. That is where I find myself.

Edited October 2, 2016 by Barb_

[Peaceful Isle]

Middle aged to me is 35-50. I'm 38 and have felt middle aged for a few years.

I had the bulk of my kids in my young and mid twenties so many my age still have toddlers. Maybe that is why I feel older, because my kids are teens , preteens.

I still have my 5 year old blessing, though. He reminds me daily how old I feel, lol.

[Night Elf]

That, for me, would be the definition of "old age".

 

I don't see that at all. I think it's perfectly ok to be retired in middle age. I have no plans because I don't plan to do any of the typical retirement things. I have no desire to travel. I don't garden or have any active hobbies. The only exercise I'm interested in is walking, usually on the treadmill so I can watch tv. I love to read, watch funny shows, play video games and just hang out with my DH.

[regentrude]

nm 

 

Edited October 2, 2016 by regentrude

[Farrar]

I have trouble, because 40 is such a "big deal" age - or was when I was younger, not thinking of 40 as being middle aged. But on the other end, if the next stage is old age, 60 now seems pretty young to me.

 

So, I think "middle age" in my head is probably about 40-60, but maybe having moved up a little because of life spans and health and so forth.

[luuknam]

I think it can have more to do with life cycle than actual age. People used to get married young and have kids young, so they were empty-nest and becoming grandparents at younger ages. In that context 40 is pretty old, because you would have launched a kid or two and would be expecting grandchildren soon. Those life cycles are pushed back now.

 

I would say:

-Still single and finishing school: Young adults

-Establishing your career & starting a family: Adults

-Launching kids & seeing them start families: Middle aged

-Needing help to function in your home and/or no longer able to function independently: Elderly

 

Okay, but those of us who had kids at a younger age might start launching them at 40yo, while at the same time going back to school to finish that degree and then starting that career in their early 40s. So, when I'm, say, 43, I might be a young adult, adult, and middle aged at the same time.

 

ETA: but hopefully not elderly. :)

Edited October 2, 2016 by luuknam

[Mergath]

I used to think anything over thirty was middle-aged, but now that I'm 33 I still don't feel all that old most of the time. (As someone already mentioned, until I have to sit on the floor for more than a few minutes and then stand up quickly, lol.) At this point I think it's all about perspective. Someone who's in their twenties and has a lot of chronic health problems might feel old. Someone who is seventy but healthy and active might still feel young. 

[Crimson Wife]

Young adult: high school graduation (assuming the individual is at least 18) to 35

Middle-age: 35-retirement (assuming the individual is at least 55)

Senior: retirement until death

 

When I was a kid, I would've said 30 was the start of middle-age but that was when the normal age to get married & have kids was in one's 20's. I can remember my mom's 30th birthday and how her friends teased her about being "over the hill". Today nobody would do that. In fact, plenty of people today treat 30 as the end of adolescence and the start of adulthood.

[RoughCollie]

"According to the Oxford English Dictionary middle age is between 45–65:^[2] "The period between early adulthood and old age, usually considered as the years from about 45 to 65." The US Census lists the category middle age from 45 to 65."  As of the DSM IV, middle age is 45-65.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_age

 

I am now 60 years old, so I like that definition! :hurray:

Edited October 3, 2016 by RoughCollie

[Crimson Wife]

Middle aged to me is 35-50. I'm 38 and have felt middle aged for a few years.

I had the bulk of my kids in my young and mid twenties so many my age still have toddlers. Maybe that is why I feel older, because my kids are teens , preteens.

 

I don't think it's about how old one's kids are. I'll be 40 in a few months and even my friends who didn't have babies until their late 30's or early 40's started looking middle-aged around 35 unless they had cosmetic work done. Weight gain, especially around the midsection. Wrinkles and sagging skin. Duller-looking and thinning hair. Etc., etc.

 

Ironically, I have a lot more self-confidence in my middle age than I did when I was young and "hot". I used to feel so self-conscious about what I perceived to be my flaws. Now I have more important things to worry about than my looks.

 

[Bluegoat]

I don't really see this as a life-stage thing (like, having young kids, say), or about how we feel.  I think when you are 30, you are a real adult, even if you still feel like a young person who is living with his parents working for pocket money.  Ina society with a real bias against aging, we're maybe a little too inclined to want to think we haven't reached the next stage yet.

 

I would see "young adult" as starting somewhere around 16 and going to about age 25 or so.  Plain old adult up until about age 40-45.  Middle aged from there until about 65.  I might make a category called late middle age up until possibly 72, but you could call that "elder" as well, I think.  And over that, elderly.

 

To some extent - maybe a large extent -  to me this relates to biological factors.

 

I find it interesting that a lot of people seem to equate middle age with being past it - I tend to think of it as, in many cases, being the period when people are likely at their most powerful in terms of career - they have had enough time to really get somewhere, gain experience, and rise to have some influence or have some really significant expertise, without having succumbed too much to health issues of lack or energy.  It seems to be when many people have their most powerful positions and can bring in the most income. 

Edited October 3, 2016 by Bluegoat

[SKL]

Someone told me once, but I can't remember.   :P

 

Personally, I feel like middle age for women starts when the hormone balance shifts a lot.  Peri-menopause, more unwanted hair and stuff, a sudden increase in unpleasant age-related "symptoms."  :P

 

I am not sure about men, but probably around the same age.

 

Or maybe when a woman / couple is no longer likely to produce more offspring?

 

I feel middle-aged now, but I didn't feel this way until probably age 48.

[SKL]

As far as career, I have seen some people peak in middle age or past it, while others seem to be winding up their contribution on the early side of "middle age" - just riding it out until retirement.

 

Personally I suspect my "peak" is long past.  Like before I became a mom.  I guess it could be a vitamin deficiency or something, but I don't know ....

[wapiti]

I'm 48 and I feel middle-aged lately.  My kids are 7-15 y.o.  I have miles to go before launching anyone let alone all of them.

 

Last night I had a weird dream that I was at work and my boss (from >15 yrs ago) asked me to go get my phone (smartphone, which didn't exist back then).  In the dream, I somehow failed to bill time for a whole month; fortunately then I woke up.

[Anacharsis]

The concept of middle age suffers from some degree of vanity sizing, I think. It seems like a lot of people aren't middle-aged until the alternative is being old; then suddenly they are middle-aged. :)

[Jaybee]

"According to the Oxford English Dictionary middle age is between 45–65:^[2] "The period between early adulthood and old age, usually considered as the years from about 45 to 65." The US Census lists the category middle age from 45 to 65."  As of the DSM IV, middle age is 45-65.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_age

 

I am now 60 years old, so I like that definition! :hurray:

 

I like this too. :) As I was reading through the posts, I was thinking, "Well, I am 56, and feel like I'm probably smack-dab in the middle of middle age." I recently read a book for people dealing with middle-age issues, and when the author mentioned 35 (as the lower end), I just about choked. Then I had to admit that realistically, I don't expect to live till 112, so why am I trying to kid myself? In spite of rarely being very physically fit, when many of my friends were moaning about feeling old in their 40s, I never felt older. Maybe because I had never had loads of energy, I didn't notice the difference, lol. Some of our children are also younger than most of our age-mates have, so that has made us feel younger. But since menopause three years ago, I feel I have aged a lot and it has kind of hit me all at once. I certainly do not long for the younger me as far as reversing the things I have learned and experienced. However, I miss having a younger body. :)

[regentrude]

I find it interesting that a lot of people seem to equate middle age with being past it - I tend to think of it as, in many cases, being the period when people are likely at their most powerful in terms of career - they have had enough time to really get somewhere, gain experience, and rise to have some influence or have some really significant expertise, without having succumbed too much to health issues of lack or energy.  It seems to be when many people have their most powerful positions and can bring in the most income. 

 

unless they are women who put their career on the back burner (or completely on halt) to raise children. For them, middle age is when they can begin to take on increased work responsibilities/hours and prepare to perhaps rise to somewhere influential - if that is still possible, which it might not be, depending on the field.

Edited October 3, 2016 by regentrude

[Penguin]

Well, if menopause defines middle age then I was thrust into middle age at 41 by cancer treatment. By that definition, Angelina Jolie is also middle aged.

[luuknam]

Well, if menopause defines middle age then I was thrust into middle age at 41 by cancer treatment. By that definition, Angelina Jolie is also middle aged.

 

Who, apparently, is also 41.  I do think it's a lousy definition, as some people enter menopause in their 20s (rare, but not impossible).

[regentrude]

The concept of middle age suffers from some degree of vanity sizing, I think. It seems like a lot of people aren't middle-aged until the alternative is being old; then suddenly they are middle-aged. :)

 

When she was 94 years old, my great grandmother complained : "Some days I feel like an old woman."

 

At 80, my aunt did not want to go to the senior center because "they're all old people there!"

[Guest]

The concept of middle age suffers from some degree of vanity sizing, I think. It seems like a lot of people aren't middle-aged until the alternative is being old; then suddenly they are middle-aged. :)

That's a perfect way to summarize what I see relating to this concept.

Edited October 4, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[nd293]

I've tasked my teenaged daughter with polling her friends:

 

Are your parents "middle-aged"?

How old are they?

 

I shall report back in due course!

 

Dd15 looked at me and said, "Well, from MY perspective, once you're married with kids you're middle aged."

 

Sigh. This is also the child who yesterday offered to put me in an old age home "so you don't have to move around any more" when I complained that my back hurt (due obviously to its state of middle agedness).

Edited October 4, 2016 by nd293

[SKL]

I'm 50.  My kids frequently ask me when I'm going to die.  Not kidding.  :P

[kewb]

I am turning 50 next month. I feel middle aged most of the time. I have creeks and pops when I move and I don't spring back from injury or illness like I used to. Definitely do not feel old.

[tm919]

Another thing to consider is whether male/female matters. Peripherally related to my actual paid work, I'm aware that in MOST cultures women are considered "adults" at earlier ages than men.

[Crimson Wife]

Another thing to consider is whether male/female matters. Peripherally related to my actual paid work, I'm aware that in MOST cultures women are considered "adults" at earlier ages than men.

 

Girls mature faster than boys in general. I was working FT as a nanny for 4 young kids by the time I was 16. Except for the fact that I hadn't finished high school yet and was still legally a minor, I could've continued working as a nanny and supported myself (assuming I found a "live-in" position). My brothers were nowhere remotely that mature at 16 and I'm not sure could've been trusted to do petsitting, let alone watching 4 kids ages 1 to 7.