People don't understand homeschool

[meza1123]

I've had a few people say this. What's a good response to people saying that homeschool is just the same as doing homework?

Edited September 27, 2016 by meza1123

[Guest]

Laugh and point at them. Then ask if teachers aren't needed in a classroom for anything but crowd control since obviously schoolwork teaches itself if adequate time is set aside to complete it, right?

 

/eyeroll

Edited September 27, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[freesia]

uh, laugh?

 

No, seriously, I would ask them why they thought that.  Depending on the person, situation I might press and ask if they teach the lesson, choose the curriculum, teach all subjects each day, monitor and assess progress, etc.

 

However, if it were a parent of someone under 3rd grade, I probably wouldn't say those points b/c a lot of early grade homework is a lot like homeschooling--read aloud to your Mom, practice writing, do a math page.  In that case, I might say something like how in the early grades it does seem similar, but oh, boy, does that change.  (I might jokingly ask them how many chem labs they'd helped with or animals they've dissected)

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I'm with everybody: all I've got is mockery.

 

Really, two minutes of intelligent, independent thought would clear this right up. They don't need it explained.

[El...]

Laughter is a valid option.  If I were trying to be tolerant and nice, and just wanted to get along, I'd probably say something like, "Oh, I've heard a lot about how much homework kids are getting these days!  Hours!  Just crazy."  And then I'd let them run on, on the new course.  I'd roll my eyes pretty hard later, though.

[Garga]

If you felt like engaging, you could say something like, "I have to completely disagree with you there, Myrtle. Can you tell me why you think that?"

[meza1123]

Love these answers. I did the laugh and pointed out the hours and hours of homework public school kids get each day. My husband wanted me to give a different response, but after homeschooling a few years already I feel like I don't owe most of those people a lengthy response.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't see the connection to how many hours of homework public school kids get.  Homeschool is different because kids are actually taught by the parent.  It may be through different means - hands on, more self explanatory texts, online classes, co-ops, living books etc. but they are actually taught. 

[Rosie_0801]

Not really. A homeschooler has to think what homework to assign. A public school parent either does (or doesn't) do as they're told.

[purplejackmama]

"Hmm ok"

[momacacia]

:huh:

 

Sadly reveals how very little they know about how one could possibly educate someone else. No wonder we're in the intellectual mess we're in.

[happypamama]

I'd probably ask, if I could do it without pulling out too much sarcasm and snark (which would be hard; it comes way too easily), why they thought that. It would depend on context, the person saying it, and my mood. I do agree that for the elementary years, it does look a lot like typical homework, but then again, the kids haven't spent seven hours already at school before doing said homework. Homeschooling elementary students is just SO efficient! In two hours, I can pack in handwriting, math, a WWE lesson, a Bible story, a map or chapter of SOTW, a supplemental picture book, a quick science demonstration, some poems, a reading lesson, a geography discussion/review, and a picture study with my second grader. (Wish it were that efficient with the high schooler, but such is life.)

[zoobie]

I've had people who think the state sends us everything to use. Um. Nope. Maybe your commenter is thinking along those lines.

[redsquirrel]

Why bother, really? It reminds me of the Jane Austin quote "Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of  rational opposition"

 

I've been told (not asked, told) that the state must give me everything, that the state tells me what I have to teach and when, that the state must provide all my materials, that I must be costing the state a lot because they have to have a teacher come to my house to check my homeschooling, etc etc... It doesn't matter what I say, when I try to tell them differently they actually argue with me. I'm at the point where I figure that if someone actually thinks that they know more about homeschooling than I do, then who am I to disappoint them?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Why bother, really? It reminds me of the Jane Austin quote "Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of  rational opposition"

 

I've been told (not asked, told) that the state must give me everything, that the state tells me what I have to teach and when, that the state must provide all my materials, that I must be costing the state a lot because they have to have a teacher come to my house to check my homeschooling, etc etc... It doesn't matter what I say, when I try to tell them differently they actually argue with me. I'm at the point where I figure that if someone actually thinks that they know more about homeschooling than I do, then who am I to disappoint them?

 

I had a state politician tell me that.  I set her straight.  In detail.  With big words.  But then I figured the stakes were a bit higher in that situation. 

[redsquirrel]

I had a state politician tell me that.  I set her straight.  In detail.  With big words.  But then I figured the stakes were a bit higher in that situation. 

 

Yeah, if my MIL was a state politician..well... first let's all just be glad that isn't the case, but I would be sure to make myself heard.

 

But sometimes, it isn't worth the hassle

[Ausmumof3]

Yeah wow that would annoy me! State school kids cost $14000 per year where I live I can guarantee our once a year visit and letter doesn't cost that much.

[SparklyUnicorn]

That sounds like a joke.  Nobody has ever said that to me.

 

I'd tell them that it's nothing like doing homework at home.  Get it straight, you all just lay around, watch TV, and eat chocolates. 

 

 

[Guest]

I have had it fielded differently; people have told me, "I can't imagine homeschooling because homework in our household is the most miserable time of the day!" When I have heard that, I have said, "Well, homeschooling isn't that much like doing homework. For one thing, you aren't getting your kid after a long day, tired and burned out. Second, with homework, you have no choice about the assignment; you have to do it as the teacher requires, while in homeschooling, the assignments are what YOU decide they should be. Also, with homework, you may not even understand the method the teacher is using for math or whatever, but in homeschooling, you have the teacher's manual and know what is being taught."

 

That explanation seems to make sense to the naysayers I have encountered.

[regentrude]

I am surprised to see the reactions: how would they know differently?

How many people give thought to something they don't plan to do and that nobody they're close to does do?

I knew nothing about homeschooling before I started researching when I was considering this as an option. I do not think laughter its an appropriate response.

 

The assumption that the school system sends you a box with workbooks that is "just like" homework does not seem so far fetched to me. If you use certain correspondence schools, it is exactly like that: teacher sends assignments, student works through reading and fills out worksheets and sends them back, parent is not actually teaching anything. (Which seems to be one aspect that makes certain programs so immensely popular that almost all "homeschoolers" I know IRL use them for their teens.) That is exactly like spending all day doing homework for public schools.

Edited September 27, 2016 by regentrude

[Donna]

I have a friend whose ds cyberschools. It is exactly like homework with some cyberclasses in real time. The cyberschool teachers give him a certain amount of work to do to obtain a certain grade ( and more if he wants to have the course counted as "honors").

 

She complained to me one day about it being "unfair" that homeschoolers who "aren't doing as much work as her ds" could be considered at the same level for college as her ds who has "put in so much time and effort." I tried to explain that there are many ways to learn and gain mastery of concepts, few of them requiring a student to sit at a computer doing work all day (some of it busy work). I also asked why it mattered to her what "level" other students were considered for college admission, either they would be prepared to take the courses in college and do well or they wouldn't, but either way it would have no effect on her own son's preparedness or lack of preparedness for college. Students come out of high schools and cyberschools having done a lot of "school work" and fall either in the prepared or un-prepared category (not simply educationally prepared but also prepared mentally, emotionally, and maturity-wise) just as there are homeschoolers in either category.

[heartlikealion]

"If by that you mean, work done at home?" (and not even always done at home depending on the homeschooler)

 

I agree with others that maybe laughter would be a good reaction followed up with an explanation that teachers still teach at home. Would probably be so miffed that I couldn't laugh, though.

 

regentrude said people don't always know any better. I'm sure that's true! But even before homeschooling became real to me, I didn't think that little kids needed no instruction or that advanced math taught itself, etc.

Edited September 27, 2016 by heartlikealion

[Mimm]

I guess they're seeing education as basically comprised of two parts? The stuff in the class room (lectures, instruction, projects, etc) and the stuff at home (the homework). And apparently came to the conclusion that the stuff that happens in the classroom is impossible to do at home. Which is a weird thing to think, even if you've never encountered homeschooling. Yeah, I think I would laugh at that, and probably just say, "There's a little more to it than that." I'm happy to explain to someone genuinely interested in learning and correcting mistaken assumptions, but I wouldn't waste my time with someone who clings to their opinion.

 

I haven't been in that situation since I was a child. Usually the questions back then were, "Who teaches you?" followed by, "Is that legal?" These days when someone finds out we homeschooled, it's, "Oh, my sister/neighbor/friend/sunday school teacher does that." Homeschooling is so common in this area that I have a hard time imagining someone being so unfamiliar with it that they say some of the things on this thread. :)

[lllll]

nm

Edited October 5, 2016 by 1' n'ye

[regentrude]

But even before homeschooling became real to me, I didn't think that little kids needed no instruction or that advanced math taught itself, etc.

 

then how do you explain American School? That's precisely like a box of homework.

Edited September 27, 2016 by regentrude

[heartlikealion]

then how do you explain American School? That's precisely like a box of homework.

 

I am not familiar with that, and when I was unfamiliar with homeschooling I did not know/think about online options. So that was not what I was comparing at all. I was comparing a math class in a physical building vs. a math class inside a home. Just from googling that I would guess (maybe incorrectly??) that there is some verbal instruction. Maybe it's like Teaching Textbooks??

 

[bolt.]

I think my answer would be, "I guess sometimes a parent has to totally re-teach a school concept if they are helping their kids with homework from a school, but really the majority of homeschooling involves the teaching and learning process itself. There aren't a lot of what I think of as homework-like activities. Also homeschoolers plan and direct the whole curriculum for their kids, so that's really teacher-like too."

Edited September 27, 2016 by bolt.

[regentrude]

I am not familiar with that, and when I was unfamiliar with homeschooling I did not know/think about online options. So that was not what I was comparing at all. I was comparing a math class in a physical building vs. a math class inside a home. Just from googling that I would guess (maybe incorrectly??) that there is some verbal instruction. Maybe it's like Teaching Textbooks??

 

Not for those who opt for the book option over online. They literally get a package of paper in the mail, complete worksheets, mail them back. Exactly like many people imagine homeschooling ;) Correspondence schools have a very long history and predate the internet and electronic recordings; this is probably something people are more familiar with.

Edited September 27, 2016 by regentrude

[Anne in CA]

LOL, I have never seen American School at all, although my favorite cousin got her diploma that way, but if the worksheets come with good instructions, that would be unlike any homework my kids every brought home.

[Jean in Newcastle]

LOL, I have never seen American School at all, although my favorite cousin got her diploma that way, but if the worksheets come with good instructions, that would be unlike any homework my kids every brought home.

 

Yes.  Homework assumes that the concepts have been explained in some way.  Homeschool programs do explain the concepts in some way even if that way is on a video or a book page. 

[Bluegoat]

Not for those who opt for the book option over online. They literally get a package of paper in the mail, complete worksheets, mail them back. Exactly like many people imagine homeschooling ;) Correspondence schools have a very long history and predate the internet and electronic recordings; this is probably something people are more familiar with.

 

Yes, this is like the kind of thing kids who were enrolled in public school in remote locations used to do.  Though realistically I think parents would help.

 

I suspect a lot of people think homeschooling is like that, and in some places there are options that are similar - there are provinces here where all the books and such used by the public system are given to the parents who want them,  as well as an advisor on what to do with them.

[HS Mom in NC]

I laugh and say, "Oh, I'm not a study hall monitor, I have to explain phonics and spelling rules, long division, Algebra, the Constitution, sentence diagramming, and English composition."

[HS Mom in NC]

I am surprised to see the reactions: how would they know differently?

How many people give thought to something they don't plan to do and that nobody they're close to does do?

I knew nothing about homeschooling before I started researching when I was considering this as an option. I do not think laughter its an appropriate response.

 

 

 

 

.

 

I think you're assuming that mocking laughter is the only kind of laughter. Sometimes people laugh in pleasant way to indicate that while they're correcting you, they're not upset or offended that by your misconceptions and that we can all have a giggle over our mistakes. It's done you keep the tone of the conversation happy. Perhaps this is a cultural difference you're not familiar with?

[regentrude]

I think you're assuming that mocking laughter is the only kind of laughter. Sometimes people laugh in pleasant way to indicate that while they're correcting you, they're not upset or offended that by your misconceptions and that we can all have a giggle over our mistakes. It's done you keep the tone of the conversation happy. Perhaps this is a cultural difference you're not familiar with?

 

These comments from previous posters did not make it sound like a friendly laugh you describe:

 

 

Laugh and point at them. Then ask if teachers aren't needed in a classroom for anything but crowd control since obviously schoolwork teaches itself if adequate time is set aside to complete it, right?

/eyeroll

 

I'd roll my eyes pretty hard later, though.

 

 

all I've got is mockery. Really, two minutes of intelligent, independent thought would clear this right up.

 

This sounds like a condescending laugh. 

 

If "mockery" is considered pleasant, then indeed I am not familiar with that culture. I find it snarky and uncalled for.

I am glad the people who explained homeschooling to me were kinder.

Edited September 27, 2016 by regentrude

[HS Mom in NC]

These comments from previous posters did not make it sound like a friendly laugh you describe:

 

 

 

 

 

 

This sounds like a condescending laugh. 

 

If "mockery" is considered pleasant, then indeed I am not familiar with that culture. I find it snarky and uncalled for.

I am glad the people who explained homeschooling to me were kinder.

 

I agree that there are people who would take that approach (which I strongly discourage and didn't want to be associated with)  but your statement seemed more categorical to me and I wanted to point out that there are different people who laugh when replying (like me) who aren't doing it in a way that could lead to bad homeschooling PR.  

 

Please, homeschoolers, don't mock people.  Regentrude is right, you can't expect people with no homeschooling experience to have a clue or to be motivated to think it through because it's not something they're pursuing. If you choose to mock them, you're just going to reinforce some negative homeschooling stereotypes that homeschoolers complain about. Answering questions is just part of the gig.

 

I've adopted a kid internationally who is obviously a different race than me.  They warned us in the parenting classes that it's outside most people's experiences and that means we'll get ignorant or awkwardly phrased questions. Some will be perfectly appropriate and others wont.  We were told if that's so upsetting that we can't handle it in constructive ways (both the appropriate and inappropriate ones) then international adoption clearly wasn't for us. I would be so bold as to say the same thing to homeschoolers.  If you're going to assume you're being criticized every time people ask questions, you're probably not a good candidate for homeschooling.  Be glad you have an opportunity to give a first hand, accurate answer when some asks a question based on a misconception.

 

[Amber in SJ]

I usually say somethings along the lines of,  

 

Homeschooling is either all homework or no homework depending on how you view homework.

 

If by homework you mean the parent sets apart the time to teach & engage the student then it is all homework.

 

If by homework you mean the parent is not involved at all and the student sits with assigned work and tries to figure it out than homeschool is not homework.

 

It is pretty easy who wants to have a real conversation and who wants to just spout off their opinion.

 

Amber in SJ

 

[heartlikealion]

I took the laughter response like a stay-at-home mom laughing after being asked, "What do you do all day? Watch soaps and eat bon bons?" I don't know what kind of laughter you'd classify that as, but I think it'd be fair. /shrug

 

ETA: I would urge more to be said following the laugh, though. "Ha, I wish!" or "ha. No, because... "

Edited September 27, 2016 by heartlikealion

[slackermom]

I've had a few people say this. What's a good response to people saying that homeschool is just the same as doing homework?

 

I don't think I would laugh at a question, but the OP didn't refer to a question. Rather, how to respond to a an odd declaration made about homeschooling. I don't expect people to be familiar with homeschooling, but would be surprised by them making statements about what is involved if they don't even know. In my surprise, I might let out a laugh. Not so much at their lack of knowledge, but at their presumption.

[Katy]

I usually go with something like, "You are never going to convince me that teaching to a test is going to provide a superior education to teaching each lesson to mastery, at the child's own pace.  If I could find a private school that did that, I might consider school."

 

I've converted friends to homeschooling too, and in at least one instance, decide to move to a better school district when they realized how terrible the school their children were in was.

 

 

I've actually considered going back and getting whatever sort of degree I would need to start a private school like that, because they should exist.

[Guest]

These comments from previous posters did not make it sound like a friendly laugh you describe:

This sounds like a condescending laugh.

If "mockery" is considered pleasant, then indeed I am not familiar with that culture. I find it snarky and uncalled for.

I am glad the people who explained homeschooling to me were kinder.

I have never had anyone say anything remotely like that who wasn't saying that homeschoolers essentially do nothing but replicate what it's a classroom and badly at that, which couldn't be further from the truth. The implication that intensive teaching is easy or isn't even occurring, especially in early grades, and that only workbooks and supervision are needed is a damaging assumption. Completely insulting.

 

I have not encountered someone that utterly clueless up here, it's usually familiarity and pleasant questions or malice and insults, but I'd say we are nearing 8-10% of our population that homeschools, and it is actually higher in this town - more like 15% of students.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Desert Strawberry]

I have had it fielded differently; people have told me, "I can't imagine homeschooling because homework in our household is the most miserable time of the day!" When I have heard that, I have said, "Well, homeschooling isn't that much like doing homework. For one thing, you aren't getting your kid after a long day, tired and burned out. Second, with homework, you have no choice about the assignment; you have to do it as the teacher requires, while in homeschooling, the assignments are what YOU decide they should be. Also, with homework, you may not even understand the method the teacher is using for math or whatever, but in homeschooling, you have the teacher's manual and know what is being taught."

 

That explanation seems to make sense to the naysayers I have encountered.

This has been my experience and my response.