DD 's first plane ride, alone, and this happens (I just need to rant)...

[Ann.without.an.e]

PLEASE DON'T QUOTE

 

 

She's never been on a plane at all, she's alone at 17, and she's nervous already, right?  I get a pass to walk her to the gate.  She is booked non-stop with another party waiting for her on the other side.  I print airport maps and circle gates and explain in detail what she needs to know.  I tell her to be wary of strangers.  I guess I never thought to say...

the guy next to you might sexually harass you the entire way.  He might ask you in broken english if he can kiss you, put his hand on your leg, and then mention that you could be the mother of his future 5 children   :cursing:   What the h#ll ya'll!!! Is that acceptable in some cultures?  She did finally tell him that she was only 17 and he was shocked but she said it didn't really deter him that much.  He was 26 and thought she was closer to his age at first, but still?  Who does this?  When she tried to exit the plane, he was determined to walk with her and carry her bag.  I am so thankful that she was firm with him.  She said she has never repeated the words no, no, no so many times in her life.  She removed his hand when he put it on her leg and he didn't try it again.  I asked what she would have done if he had touched her again and she said she would have asked a flight attendant to move her or she would have said don't touch me loud enough to embarrass him.  I am super thankful that she didn't let him exit the plane with her or follow her with her bag.  

 

I am upset in one way and relieved in another...DD is a quiet girl who doesn't like to make a fuss.  One of my fears in her going out into the adult world is that she won't stand up for herself, but she proved she is capable.  That actually in some weird way makes me feel better about it all.

Edited September 25, 2016 by Attolia

[SKL]

I've seen that happen [on a very long flight] with a drunk guy from a culture where only "certain types of women" do radical things like dress western-ish, travel alone, and say hello to strange men.

 

To make things worse, he apparently wasn't acquainted with deodorant.

 

Thanks for the reminder to tell our girls what to do if this ever happens to them.

[mommyoffive]

Wow.

 

I am so sorry she had to deal with this.  

 

 

[creekland]

She sounds like she handled it well.  The only thing I'd suggest for the future is to involve a flight attendant much earlier - like right after he didn't respect the first "no."

 

Like a pp, I'd guess he could have had a bit too much to drink and/or have watched too many US TV shows where every girl instantly falls for the main character.  In some countries (or areas of countries) where their only real knowledge of the US comes from TV, this can be a common belief as to what happens.

[Ann.without.an.e]

She sounds like she handled it well.  The only thing I'd suggest for the future is to involve a flight attendant much earlier - like right after he didn't respect the first "no."

 

Like a pp, I'd guess he could have had a bit too much to drink and/or have watched too many US TV shows where every girl instantly falls for the main character.  In some countries (or areas of countries) where their only real knowledge of the US comes from TV, this can be a common belief as to what happens.

 

 

Oh, don't worry....when she gets home we will talk about it more  :lol:

[gingersmom]

I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter.

 

I had a similar experience on a train when I was about 20 years old.

 

My daughter flys alone several times a year and I always remind her what to do if someone is a creep.

[El...]

Wow, what a first flying experience!  I'm sorry she had to deal with a creep.  Gross.

 

I wonder if she'd enjoy an empowering women's self defense seminar, something that includes practicing your "get away from me" voice? 

 

She did great, though.  Please make sure she knows it.  :)

[TranquilMind]

It does sound like she handled it really well.  Praise her for that! 

 

Faux vomiting might work if she ever has to repel someone again. 

 

I really vomited last time I flew and everyone left me alone, including not trying to  sit in the empty seat beside me (I had just had surgery-it was likely med reaction).  ;)

 

 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Ugh, my mama bear has gone all blind rage on her behalf  :angry:  :angry:  :angry:  I'm so sorry she had to deal with that! On the plus side, it's great that she dealt with him firmly and calmly. And experiences like this tend to be backbone-building, so she'll be even stronger the next time something like this happens. That's a good thing.

 

Ugh, though! I hope she's not too upset by it. it sounds like she did a great job. 

[happypamama]

I agree that she handled it very well, and I'd commend her for that. So sorry she had to deal with that, but you have obviously prepared her well to think on her feet.

 

If she seems unnerved by the whole thing, and if she seems like the type who might be a magnet for guys like that because she's sweet and shy, you might consider some self defense classes for her. Not necessarily for her to learn fighting moves, but they'll give her some tips on being assertive with creeps.

[Ann.without.an.e]

And experiences like this tend to be backbone-building, so she'll be even stronger the next time something like this happens. That's a good thing.

 

 

 

 

Yes!  I am hopeful that it will just make her feel more confident about similar situations in the future.  

[Ann.without.an.e]

I agree that she handled it very well, and I'd commend her for that. So sorry she had to deal with that, but you have obviously prepared her well to think on her feet.

 

If she seems unnerved by the whole thing, and if she seems like the type who might be a magnet for guys like that because she's sweet and shy, you might consider some self defense classes for her. Not necessarily for her to learn fighting moves, but they'll give her some tips on being assertive with creeps.

 

 

I might look into it.  She's petite (only 5 ft) and small but busty (which she hates and doesn't flaunt). I could see that attracting a certain type for sure.

[JoJosMom]

This is horrible and I'm very sorry that your DD had to experience it.  Thank you, though, for sharing what happened.  Your daughter's experience provided a good opportunity for me to have a(nother) talk with my DD about how to handle similar situations.  I wish we didn't have to have these conversations, but the world is not perfect and we do.

[FriedClams]

I think she did great. In the future I'd tell her to pretend to need to use the bathroom, and go tell a flight attendant. Ask for a seat change, and an escort through the airport. My kids and I fly a lot and I've briefed them to scream "this is not my mom/dad" if need be, and hit the flight attendant call button. The aircrew would very likely be more than happy to help her, and to call security. I would also make sure she feels prepared and empowered, not afraid.

[lauraw4321]

I feel like this is deja vu from a post maybe 6 months ago?  Somewhat similar circumstances, but the girl was younger and was wearing an unaccompanied minor tag, or something?  Now that I've seen two posts like this, I ill be sure and tell my girls about this when they go on their first flights alone.

 

Kudos to her - she handled herself well. You did good, mama.

[El...]

I feel like this is deja vu from a post maybe 6 months ago?  Somewhat similar circumstances, but the girl was younger and was wearing an unaccompanied minor tag, or something?  Now that I've seen two posts like this, I ill be sure and tell my girls about this when they go on their first flights alone.

 

Kudos to her - she handled herself well. You did good, mama.

I think you are right.

[Anne in CA]

I'm sorry. This creep is a lowlife, pure and simple. How could you have known?

[Tess in the Burbs]

That stinks, so sorry she had to deal with it.  Yes, get the staff involved sooner.  But yay she held her own on this.  

 

My kids first flight was this year.  The guy next to me on the way home was watching p*rn.  He was aware of my kid b/c he kept looking over to see if we were looking his way.  Which means he was aiming his computer toward the family across the aisle from us.  Ugh.  What can't creepy men be flagged with some creep o meter when they try to get on the plane??!??!!!

[G5052]

Mine hasn't experienced that yet, but I tell her that NO is a word to practice. Be firm and repeat.

 

If that doesn't work, get help.

[mamiof5]

I'm so glad she's ok!!! As others said, she handled it wonderfully. Sorry it happened though :(

[Amira]

I'm glad she handled it well, but it makes me so angry that some men feel they can put women into this position.

 

I know you said you'd talk to her more, but I think it's so important that things like this get reported to flight attendants every.single.time they happen. More awareness of the problem will help combat it.

[heartlikealion]

That is literally the topic of a news article that showed up in my FB feed earlier today. It's a link from George Takei's FB page.

 

Sorry she had to deal with that.

Edited September 26, 2016 by heartlikealion

[Ann.without.an.e]

I haven't heard the story, but I would have thought an unaccompanied minor tag would solve this sort of problem

:crying:  :cursing:  Being 17, we didn't pay the extra $150 each way to tag her an unaccompanied minor.  If I had and this had happened, I would be super upset at the airline.

 

I feel like this is deja vu from a post maybe 6 months ago?  Somewhat similar circumstances, but the girl was younger and was wearing an unaccompanied minor tag, or something?  Now that I've seen two posts like this, I ill be sure and tell my girls about this when they go on their first flights alone.

 

Kudos to her - she handled herself well. You did good, mama.

 

Edited September 26, 2016 by Attolia

[Ann.without.an.e]

I will see if I can find it.  Thanks.  

 

 

That is literally the topic of a news article that showed up in my FB feed earlier today. It's a link from George Takei's FB page.

 

Sorry she had to deal with that.

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

That is literally the topic of a news article that showed up in my FB feed earlier today. It's a link from George Takei's FB page.

 

Sorry she had to deal with that.

 

 

Oh my gosh, I found it and oddly enough, after DD was in her seat and waiting for take-off she texted me and said "the guy next to me is shaking his legs and tapping the back of the next seat like he is incredibly nervous".  I didn't think anything more about it and neither did she.  Then after the plane ride she told me about what happened.  Weird huh?

Edited September 26, 2016 by Attolia

[SparklyUnicorn]

Oh yuck.  Glad she made it through that.  Geesh!

 

 

[heartlikealion]

Oh my gosh, I found it and oddly enough, after DD was in her seat and waiting for take-off she texted me and said "the guy next to me is shaking his legs and tapping the back of the next seat like he is incredibly nervous".  I didn't think anything more about it and neither did she.  Then after the plane ride she told me about what happened.  Weird huh?

 

I wasn't sure if you wanted to read it or not and thought about linking after the fact. Glad you found it. Yeah, that is weird.