When your teen decides, "I think I want to try High School next year."

[Elfknitter.#]

For those who have BTDT, please share your experience.

 

We have always approached our schooling year by year. If ever the kids wanted to attend public school, it wouldn't be off the table.

 

Dd is 13. We've homeschooled her since kinder. I asked her yesterday what she thinks she might like to do for high school. She said public school with the option to come home if it's not a good fit. I'm good with that. However, going means she needs to stick it out for the entire freshman year- both dh and I agree on this. We expect that much of the first semester could be spent on simply adjusting to public school formats- early waking times, new teachers, new kids, new styles of evaluations & feedback on assignments (or not), and new routines.

 

Things to add in- some of which I have discussed already with dh:

 

I am the sole source of income for our family. Dh is the SAHP

We had planned on trying to move closer to my work as I commute 2 hrs, round trip/ day.

BUT, the school district we currently live in is much better than those by my work.

If dd is fine at school, I do not wish to move.

Add in, ds1 is only 2 years behind dd. If he also decides to attend public high school, I do not want to move until he graduates.

We will need to buy a second vehicle for my commute. Yes, it will probably be pre-owned.

Funding for said vehicle would be an issue right now.

We also have a ds2, but he is just starting Kinder at home. I do not think this will affect him, short of having 1 less sibling to play with (annoy) during the day, Also, he will have just started grade 6 when ds 1 is a senior.

 

Upon taking my current position, I had a timeline that would have had us move closer to my work by the end of next year. But now it looks like if we do move, it will be to another home in our current city. I don't want to risk moving to district that might be mediocre when we have a pretty good one now.

 

We currently rent but were looking forward to a move because we are not happy with our current landlord. So any move that might happen once dd is fine in high school would have to be in our same area so she could remain in this district. Neither dh nor I have family in this city.

 

Not sure what I'm looking for other than share your going to High School experiences with me, please. Hope this doesn't sound JAWM because that wasn't my intent. I'm just starting to figure out what this means for us and am trying to identify problems so we can work past them.

[Pawz4me]

Both of ours went to a public high school after being homeschooled for a number of years.

 

DS1 was homeschooled from fifth through eighth grade. When he was making his decision about what to do for high school (we've always tried to leave the decision up to them, at least as much as possible) he said he felt like he needed some competition to do his best academically, and he was craving more friends and socialization opportunities. He chose to enroll at our local high school. Other than a couple of blips the school was very accommodating about getting him enrolled. They didn't require much documentation other than his last yearly achievement test (required here) and once the guidance couselor looked that over he was told he could sign up for any classes (honors, AP) he wanted. I don't know that the education he received was as good as what we could have provided him at home, but he did flourish with the increased socialization. He found his tribe in the cross country team (and the next year added track) and became very health/fitness conscious. The only problems he had transitioning was getting used to being around so many people for so long and having to be "on" for so many hours at a time. For the first few weeks he was wiped out when he got home.

 

Youngest DS was homeschooled from second through eighth grades. He needed a bit more of a push, although we still left the decision up to him. He eventually decided to apply to and was accepted at our county's early college high school. We really felt that he needed more experience being out and about in the world. He wanted to stay in his room and be a hermit too much (not surprisingly to us, he will in all likelihood be receiving an ASD diagnosis tomorrow). Again, the school was very easy to work with as far as our homeschooling records and them accepting that he was qualified (and it certainly didn't hurt that he did extremely well on the Accuplacer). The experience has overall been fabulous for him. He's excelled academically and (in his own Aspie-like way) has made several friends. The only problem he had was, like his older brother, getting used to being around people and being "on" so much. He's a senior now and still takes a nap when he gets home many days.

 

We too wanted to move. We didn't have to, just wanted to go ahead and downsize slightly into what will be our retirement home. Having DS at the early college meant we we would either have to put that off or limit our search to the same county. That wasn't a huge hindrance to us, as we never planned on straying far from the area we were in. We took our time (two years) and eventually found a house we love and moved this past April. Our move did increase DH's already long commute, but he was okay with that since he plans on retiring within the next five years or so and the move got us in a better position for him to do that.

 

Good luck!

[nd293]

I just wanted to chime in to say, yes, there is an adjustment period, so you're wise to set a year commitment (short of catastrophe). Dd went from homeschool to Montessori, which was barely an issue, then moved to a traditional school which was where the adjustment occurred. She was very happy socially from Day 1, but you're spot on - waking times and evaluation style were issues, also deadlines and subjects she had simply had no previous exposure to (like Politics and Law. Or Phys Ed - she lost 5kg in the first semester 😄😄).

 

On top of that the sudden increase in freedom / disconnect between me and her life took a bit of navigating. It's healthy, but hard!

 

For your other issues - we're about to move so that I don't have to do 2hrs of driving kids to and from school daily, so I understand that issue well. I'd actually visit each school in the area close to your work. Scores and reputation are not everything. You might see something in a particular school that isn't reflected in that sort of thing. Also scores and reputations lag behind changes in management etc. And if your dd qualifies for any special programme (like academic enrichment) that may mitigate some of the other issues.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[nd293]

After reading Pawz4me - very similar experiences. And dd15 who famously abandoned napping before she turned 2yrs also naps after school a couple of times a week now.

 

We temporarily suspended outside school activities like music classes for the first 6 months, which in retrospect was a very wise decision.

[MEmama]

I haven't BTDT yet, but my teen is planning to go to the public high school next year. Like you, I anticipate quite a bit of adjustment; my biggest concern is lack of sleep. He still requires 10-12 hours a night, and I don't see how we can accommodate that on public school hours. And like a pp mentioned, being around that many people and stimuli all.day.long will be exhausting for him.

 

In preparation, we are treating this year (8th) as "high school prep". I am more strict about hours--he gets up at 7, we start working at 8--and requiring him to do a LOT more written work. Before the year started I came up with a list of focus goals and we refer to them frequently. He knows his weaknesses and has been working with an extra focus on strengthening them. We are also outsourcing a class this year and so far he really thriving in that environment. He's a motivated kid and will want to do well in the new challenge of high school, so having a prep year is working out well for him.

 

Good luck! :)

[Night Elf]

My youngest dd decided to go to public high school. We were very relaxed in our homeschooling. The kids used an accredited online high school, took only a few classes at a time, and worked at their own pace. She insisted on starting her freshman year like all other freshman and didn't even transfer her earned credits towards public school. So she basically started over. To be honest, I was so nervous about her making what I considered to be a most drastic transition that I broke out into hives and had to be put on medication. It was awful! She proved me wrong and then some. Not only did she transition beautifully into such a busy, structured environment, she maintained a high GPA throughout all 4 years. It really didn't take her long to get into the groove of the experience. Her two biggest challenges were learning to take notes, something she had never done before, and learning to write on demand such as essays in classes. I must admit I was surprised she seemed as well prepared as she was. I didn't think I did that great a job of homeschooling.

 

She's now attending a university I honestly don't think she'd be in if she had homeschooled. Public school did a whole lot more for her than I was able to do for her. It was a great fit and I'm super glad she made the decision.

 

Good luck!

[Ottakee]

I agree that if you have not already done so, go check out the school closer to your work. They might offer more than you think. Having you mom more with less stress is also important.

[nevergiveup]

What makes the other school districts so bad? 

If the other districts are just lacking in curricula, you could always supplement that at home.

I would move closer to the job since you do not like where you are and the commute is eating up a lot of your time.  Multiply the 2 hour commute by all the years your kids potentially may be in school.  That's a lot of life spent in a car.

 

[DawnM]

I can only tell you what we did, I can't really give advice.

 

Our plan was to move this past summer. I wanted to move into the city where DH and I both would be working, and where oldest went to CC. I then planned to put the kids in school where we were moving to.

 

The move did not happen. I still commute rather far.

 

However, it was a choice on our part. The schools we are currently zoned for are better overall then the city schools and they are smaller.

 

Thankfully I got a job that starts at 6:45, so the commute isn't that bad, hardly any traffic.

 

We just make it work.

 

My youngest is currently 7th grade. We have decided not to move for 6 years min., to allow him to graduate high school. This is his first year not homeschooling and he is really loving school.

 

The only thing I would say, and you know your child best, but I would never say that if you have a miserable time your first couple of months that you are stuck for an entire year. I certainly wouldn't stay in a miserable job for a full year if it was awful, so I wouldn't make my kid stick it out either, but that is your call.

[EKS]

What makes the other school districts so bad? 

If the other districts are just lacking in curricula, you could always supplement that at home.

I would move closer to the job since you do not like where you are and the commute is eating up a lot of your time.  Multiply the 2 hour commute by all the years your kids potentially may be in school.  That's a lot of life spent in a car.

 

It is *extremely* difficult to afterschool in high school.  They just have too much going on.  The only way I've found to do it is to piggyback on existing homework.  So, for example, my son's math teacher does not give adequate feedback on homework, so I make sure he has done all the problems correctly and that he understands everything.  I have also used this approach with writing assignments when my children have had teachers that don't actually teach writing (which seems to be most of them).

 

My younger son also decided he wanted to try public high school this year.  The local high school is a good one.  So far things are going well.  The first couple of weeks he had some challenges ensuring that he had all of his stuff in his backpack, but that seems to have resolved.  I should mention that he went to an ultra small private school for two years for 6th and 8th grades (consecutively--he was 11-12 years old).  So he did have some previous experience with school procedures.

[Mimm]

We always told our kids they could decide to go to public school in high school, before that, it was our call (though it was an ongoing discussion and we listened to them). My oldest made it clear after 7th grade that she would definitely be going to public school for high school. Rather than putting her into a large high school as her first experience with public school, we let her attend in 8th. For us, it worked pretty well. Her younger sister is following in her foot steps and attending eighth grade this year.

 

For Oldest Child, the most difficult adjustment was paying attention to how each teacher communicated homework and deadlines. One teacher wrote them on the corner of the board and never mentioned it (according to her... I'd be surprised if there were literally no reminders about it.) She would forget to look at the board and she refused to write anything down in the planner I got her. She didn't budget her time well and was frequently having melt downs the night before things were due that she should have been working on all week.

 

However, she was happier in school and built herself a nice supportive little friend group that carried on into high school. She liked her teachers for the most part and she wasn't behind at all (well ahead in some areas).

 

For Middle Child, the biggest adjustment is in how free time she has now. She is a slow meticulous worker, a bit of a perfectionist (though she's gotten much better at this). She used to sleep in, work at her own pace, take breaks. Now she comes home exhausted and still has homework to do. She's had some tears saying that she can't handle it and she's going to fail, etc.

 

On the other hand, she's been surprised at what she knows that other people don't. She was the only kid in several English classes (according to her teacher) that knew what a pronoun was. She and one other kid (who moved here from another school district) were the only ones who had ever diagrammed a sentence. She came home complaining at how "stupid" everyone was and I had to defend them. "It's not their fault. They simply haven't been taught." Both my kids are appalled at the state of Language Arts instruction.. :)

 

Another challenge they both face is the expectation that "everyone knows this" because they've all been in public school for ages. Like Oldest didn't know how to use the lock on her locker. It had never occurred to me to teach that particular skill. :) For some reason that mystifies me to this day, despite the science teacher showing her how to do it over and over, she didn't figure it out till early in the Spring semester. :huh: Middle says that at the start of the year when talking about various classes teachers will make comments like, "You guys know how this works, you did the same thing last year." And she's sitting there not wanting to raise her hand and be that weirdo saying, "Um, no..."

 

Things that have annoyed me:

 

Group projects. The stress and extra time and meetings at various people's houses, group members that threaten to quit if they don't get their way, group members who simply refuse to do their part. It's a special hell.

 

Pick up and drop off. In my town, they only bus if you live a certain, entirely too long, distance from the school. Most people walk or parents pick up and drop off. But there's no extra lanes or any kind of space for waiting cars. So it's a nightmarish traffic jam around each and every school, especially during pick up. There's always parents who don't follow the procedure because they're entirely too special for that nonsense. :cursing:

 

Dealing with the office has been a positive experience. They've been helpful and accommodating and nice. :) 

[hepatica]

My 15yo DD began high school as a 10th grader this year. She ended up there through a rather trying path. She homeschooled through 8th grade. When it became obvious that my teaching her was no longer going to work she did a year of mostly online high school (she still did math at home with her Dad). She is a serious ballet dancer, so going to public school was not possible schedule wise. The ballet conservatory she attended uses the Keystone online school, so she did that. She hated the online school program. She was offered a substantial scholarship to a ballet program housed at an independent boarding school and that's where she is right now.  The ballet students attend as regular high school students, and have their ballet classes integrated into the school day and after school. They get academic credit for fine arts and PE for their ballet classes. 

 

So far, her transition has been great. She is enjoying the her classes. Don't really know what her grades will be yet, but she seems to be handling the structure well. I do think the year of online school helped. Even though she hated it, she (slowly) learned to churn out a lot of written assignments. She is dyslexic, so her writing output was very slow to develop, and we had accommodated her at home in a way that the online school did not. So doing a ridiculous amount of often meaningless assignments was actually good preparation for her. 

 

 

[Crimson Wife]

We needed to make a change for my oldest (turns 14 in a few weeks) and our zoned high school is not an option because it has a gang presence and no honors courses before 11th grade. So DD took the state high school proficiency exam and is doing dual enrollment at the community college. She is taking math, English, and a drama elective there this semester. Outsourcing core courses to the CC has eliminated probably 99% of the conflict between DD and me. California has a very "cookie cutter" model for high school due to the stupid UC a-g requirements and doing CC in lieu of high school offers her a lot more academic freedom.

 

Most likely she will complete an associate's in 3-4 years and then transfer as a junior to one of the UC campuses (or Cal State if she wants a major not offered by UC).

[MysteryJen]

We had pretty much always planned for the last two of our brood to go to high school. They are the most social and least academic of my kids. We moved last spring, in part, for high school. The school is fine, not great, but a 5 minute walk from our house. Dd2 started almost a month ago and things have gone fairly well. She now has a 504 in place (dyslexia/slow processing speed) and is in all regular classes. Currently, her grades are very good. For her, the technology emphasis has been great. There are tons of reminders about homework, quizzes on line, etc. We have purchased some textbooks to use at home, math and Spanish. She also uses her phone to take pictures of homework assignments written on the board. She is very, very proactive about talking to teachers and asking questions. I try to teach concepts in the homework, because she doesn't always understand in class, but I have not found any real gaps yet. Also, because she was homeschooled, she knows you actually have to work to make friends and she has a group already for lunch, homecoming, games, etc. 

 

She swims very seriously and we are into a groove of morning practices (makeup and breakfast on the way to school) and afternoon practices (homework and snack in the car on the way to the pool). 

 

The whole adjustment has been pretty easy for a few reasons. 1. She really wanted to go to school, so she will make it work. 2. She had such a terrible year last year socially (bullying/shunning on the swim team) that she really needed a group of friends that have nothing to do swimming. 3. She is very aware of her learning difficulties and works hard and takes any help that is offered.

 

The only real con is that she would be working at a harder level if she was home. But, I am learning to just let that go. 

[JanetC]

I would reconsider the "If she starts, she stays the whole year" thing. You may have a very high standard for what it would take to allow her to return home, but you shouldn't lock yourself into this decision up front.

 

I have seen several families try high school, and I'd guess less than half stayed the whole year full-time. Some switched to CC, some switched to part-time, and some realized that homeschooling had just ruined their kids for impersonal institutional education and quit outright.

 

 

[wendy not in HI]

I won't speak to the logistics of homeschool to high school, but I will mention the friend aspect of attending a new high school.  We are a military family, we homeschooled elementary, but our kids have been attending ps for years.  Each of our high school aged students have attended at least 2 high schools, often moving in middle school, also.  Our kids are out-going, easy-going, great kids. Involved in all sorts of things, depending on the kid - marching band, orchestra, student counsel, sports (lots of sports), clubs, church group, etc.  And it still just takes time to make real friends.  It seems to take about 2 weeks for lunch time to become more comfortable, and 6 months to a year to have close friends. The second year at a school seems to be the magic spot where deeper friendships happen.  

 

I'm just warning you that some kids have watched disney channel shows that depict school a certain way, but reality is, kids don't generally welcome the new kid.  The new kid doesn't get the staring role in the play and the cutest boyfriend on the team.  The new kid is lonely, and it can be hard on a mama's heart to see it and have no way to fix it. I think that's why some people suggest that your child stick it out for a year - not so much for the curriculum, but to let things settle and allow time for friendships to form. 

[MysteryJen]

For dd2, the hard lesson learned last year was that most friends are really "work" friends. Deep, true relationships are very, very hard to come by and many times you think you have a better and deeper friendship than you actually have. She is content to have "work friends," people to eat lunch with, hang out at meets with, with the occasional party or get together. I think her acceptance of that dynamic has made this fall much smoother than it would have been if she was searching for the true, great, Disney sort of high school friendships.

[Amy in NH]

I haven't read the other responses. 

 

High school is not something you just jump in and out of.  There are rules for earning credits in public high schools, and often length-of-enrollment rules for graduation on top of that.  In NH some school districts are more willing to award credits for homeschool work, and others will require students to repeat whole years.

 

We encourage our own 8th graders to look at all of their high school options and make a four-year decision.  We make four year mock schedules based on each school's course offerings and the interests of the student.  We compare all of them to each other, and to the long-term goals of the student.  So far all of my kids have decided to stay home for high school so that they can pursue their own interests, or specialize, more fully than time would allow were they in an institutional school setting.  For one kid that meant they earned 30 college credits before they graduated from our homeschool.  For another means they will pursue a trade/apprenticeship program. 

 

If I had a kid who was already into the high school years and wanted to change placement I would have a serious discussion about the reasons for that desire.  We would do our best to accommodate whatever needs were being unmet in the current placement before actually pursuing an alternative placement, and then we would not be as open to changing it again.  IMO&E, these are not the years to be flippant with placement changes as they can really affect the long term opportunities afforded to a person.

[MEmama]

I haven't read the other responses.

 

High school is not something you just jump in and out of. There are rules for earning credits in public high schools, and often length-of-enrollment rules for graduation on top of that. In NH some school districts are more willing to award credits for homeschool work, and others will require students to repeat whole years.

 

We encourage our own 8th graders to look at all of their high school options and make a four-year decision. We make four year mock schedules based on each school's course offerings and the interests of the student. We compare all of them to each other, and to the long-term goals of the student. So far all of my kids have decided to stay home for high school so that they can pursue their own interests, or specialize, more fully than time would allow were they in an institutional school setting. For one kid that meant they earned 30 college credits before they graduated from our homeschool. For another means they will pursue a trade/apprenticeship program.

 

If I had a kid who was already into the high school years and wanted to change placement I would have a serious discussion about the reasons for that desire. We would do our best to accommodate whatever needs were being unmet in the current placement before actually pursuing an alternative placement, and then we would not be as open to changing it again. IMO&E, these are not the years to be flippant with placement changes as they can really affect the long term opportunities afforded to a person.

These are really good suggestions. You've inspired me to have DS look at the actual courses offered at the high school and loosely map out his next 4 years. Additionally, I'll show him what earning a pre engineering associates (or whatever our CC calls it) would look like. I'm in no way opposed to him going the public school route, but he should really understand his options. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[ktgrok]

My son tried public high school in 9th. We brought him home, at his request, just shy of the end of the first 9 weeks. He wasn't getting enough sleep, was sick more than he was well, and his grades were going to start slipping just from missing so much school being sick. I saw zero point in him messing up his GPA just to make him stick it out. He wasn't going to get any more sleep the longer he stayed in school, and that was the biggest factor. So keeping him in the full year to "adjust" would have just been a detriment to his health and his grades. So we let him come home, and he's done pretty well. He did very well that year, last year was hit and miss, and now he is doing dual enrollment and outside classes only. 

[LucyStoner]

My 13 year old 8th grader is presently looking around at a number of public and private options for next year. This way, even if he decides he wants to be homeschooled, the options are open for next year. Visiting schools will be a good way for 8th graders to make a more informed decision between public school and homeschool.

 

Mostly posting to follow the thread since we are apparently both figuring out the whole high school plan this year. Our kids are the same age.

Edited September 21, 2016 by LucyStoner

[MEmama]

My 13 year old 8th grader is presently looking around at a number of public and private options for next year. This way, even if he decides he wants to be homeschooled, the options are open for next year. Visiting schools will be a good way for 8th graders to make a more informed decision between public school and homeschool.

 

Mostly posting to follow the thread since we are apparently both figuring out the whole high school plan this year. Our kids are the same age.

Is your high school open to kids sitting in on classes, or how do you have him visit? I'm curious because I'd like my DS to do the same (though we have only one school and no other choices other than CC).

 

I need to make an appointment soon to talk with the admissions office and I'm weirdly nervous. Primarily I want to make sure he gets placed into the correct classes, and that what we are covering this year checks off all their boxes.

 

I forgot to mention earlier that we also introduced class planning this year. He has taken on the responsibility of looking ahead in his curricula and planning out his week. I honestly thought there would be more initial hand holding but he's taken right to it, and is using his time much more efficiently. It's an important skill, public school or not.

[redsquirrel]

If she wants to try high school, 9th grade is the year to do it.  It is MUCH more difficult to start school midway through the 4 year process. It gets into credit and what they will allow from your homeschooling etc.  Much better to start at the beginning and come home later than holding off a year and starting in 10th grade.

 

My son decided he wanted to try high school after always being homeschooled. It went very well. Yes, it was an adjustment, but the most difficult part was pretty much the first month. And remember, all of the 9th graders are adjusting to being high school students. My son's adjustment and mistakes didn't stand out in any way compared to his peers. They ALL made mistakes and had difficulties adjusting. The teachers took it in stride.  None of his teachers knew he was homeschooled and he didn't stand out in any way.  It would have been different if he was a 10th or 11th grader.

 

There was adjustment from the whole family, and I swear the adults had more issue with it than my son, lol.  There were things I found annoying or stupid or inefficient but my son took it in stride. Once we sent him to school only to discover it was a day off, lol.  I am the one who had to adjust to him needing a lunch to pack every. single. day. And he needs clean clothes all the stupid time...the horror! Why can't he just go to school in sweatpants! 

 

10th grade (last year) sort of sucked, but I think it sucked for everyone. Turns out fifteen year old boys are idiots.  Now that he is 16 and a junior I am seeing signs of (dare I say) maturity? Reasonableness? Maybe even an ability to....plan ahead? 

 

What I am trying to say is that there were difficulties that were related to being a teenager, not to being in high school.

 

And you know what? It has been kind nice to let someone else worry about science standards.  We are still close to him, we still have a role in his education, his dad checks his math every night, we talk about the novels he is reading in English class... it's really been ok.

 

Now, about the whole moving thing, I have no idea. That is just way beyond my ability to figure out.

[ktgrok]

Redsquirrel, thank you for saying sophomore boys just have issues. That makes me feel better about my son's year last year. 

[LucyStoner]

Is your high school open to kids sitting in on classes, or how do you have him visit? I'm curious because I'd like my DS to do the same (though we have only one school and no other choices other than CC).

 

I need to make an appointment soon to talk with the admissions office and I'm weirdly nervous. Primarily I want to make sure he gets placed into the correct classes, and that what we are covering this year checks off all their boxes.

 

I forgot to mention earlier that we also introduced class planning this year. He has taken on the responsibility of looking ahead in his curricula and planning out his week. I honestly thought there would be more initial hand holding but he's taken right to it, and is using his time much more efficiently. It's an important skill, public school or not.

It varies. The private schools we are looking at offer a day to shadow a student. 2 of the 3 public schools will let him do that informally. The other option he is looking at is an early college program and we will find out more at the information night.

[redsquirrel]

Redsquirrel, thank you for saying sophomore boys just have issues. That makes me feel better about my son's year last year. 

 

I should have been an equal opportunity insulter, my friends with girls assure me that it holds for sophomore girls as well. I think I am less tolerant of the male variety because I grew up in a house full of girls. I know how to deal with that. I have no idea what is going on with teenage boys.

 

when they were freshmen, they were like  quivering herd of fawns. They were ready to scatter in an instant. They didn't like to be first, they all looked to each other for safety, and were very easy to spook.  But the sophomores are feeling brave... they have found their feet and they think they are grown. They think they have this whole high school thing down pat. They know where they can cut corners and they think they know how get away with bull***t.  I feel like all us parents spent the year slack jawed at their feats of idiocy, lol. It was like... Do you really think we don't know what you are up to? Really? Reeeeeeaaaaly???

 

Now, with 11th grade just started, like, this month just started,  my son is suddenly  all business. Don't I know he only has TWO YEARS of this left? Am I not aware that he has to start thinking about college this very year?  Really, what have I been doing all this time? :lol:

[Pen]

For those who have BTDT, please share your experience.

 

We have always approached our schooling year by year. If ever the kids wanted to attend public school, it wouldn't be off the table.

 

Dd is 13. We've homeschooled her since kinder. I asked her yesterday what she thinks she might like to do for high school. She said public school with the option to come home if it's not a good fit. I'm good with that. However, going means she needs to stick it out for the entire freshman year- both dh and I agree on this. We expect that much of the first semester could be spent on simply adjusting to public school formats- early waking times, new teachers, new kids, new styles of evaluations & feedback on assignments (or not), and new routines.

 

Things to add in- some of which I have discussed already with dh:

 

I am the sole source of income for our family. Dh is the SAHP

We had planned on trying to move closer to my work as I commute 2 hrs, round trip/ day.

BUT, the school district we currently live in is much better than those by my work.

If dd is fine at school, I do not wish to move.

Add in, ds1 is only 2 years behind dd. If he also decides to attend public high school, I do not want to move until he graduates.

We will need to buy a second vehicle for my commute. Yes, it will probably be pre-owned.

Funding for said vehicle would be an issue right now.

We also have a ds2, but he is just starting Kinder at home. I do not think this will affect him, short of having 1 less sibling to play with (annoy) during the day, Also, he will have just started grade 6 when ds 1 is a senior.

 

Upon taking my current position, I had a timeline that would have had us move closer to my work by the end of next year. But now it looks like if we do move, it will be to another home in our current city. I don't want to risk moving to district that might be mediocre when we have a pretty good one now.

 

We currently rent but were looking forward to a move because we are not happy with our current landlord. So any move that might happen once dd is fine in high school would have to be in our same area so she could remain in this district. Neither dh nor I have family in this city.

 

Not sure what I'm looking for other than share your going to High School experiences with me, please. Hope this doesn't sound JAWM because that wasn't my intent. I'm just starting to figure out what this means for us and am trying to identify problems so we can work past them.

 

 

My ds returned to public school this year in 8th grade...  He is 14 and wanting to be in high school, and may make the change, though I think the chance to have a transition year in 8th is helpful for him.  In retrospect, I wish we had started him last year in 8th so he could have had the transition time then--all the things you mention plus sports. If not sports, some extracurricular seems to be important and makes for harder juggling of all that needs to be done.  Consider letting your dd go to public school *now* for the transitional year.

 

Also, where I live, if a child is already enrolled in a district it can make it easier to stay there even if family then moves...though except for one high school enrollment in other districts is generally possible in any case in our area.

 

Might you be able to move about half way between current home and work, such that you have less commute to work and the kids could go to the currently local school?

 

If there were school or city bus option to the local school district schools, could you move to the edge of that route closest to your work, where dd could take bus to school, but you'd have a shorter commute and better landlord situation?

[ktgrok]

 But the sophomores are feeling brave... they have found their feet and they think they are grown. They think they have this whole high school thing down pat. They know where they can cut corners and they think they know how get away with bull***t.  I feel like all us parents spent the year slack jawed at their feats of idiocy, lol. It was like... Do you really think we don't know what you are up to? Really? Reeeeeeaaaaly???

 

Now, with 11th grade just started, like, this month just started,  my son is suddenly  all business. Don't I know he only has TWO YEARS of this left? Am I not aware that he has to start thinking about college this very year?  Really, what have I been doing all this time? :lol:

 

Oh my goodness! This exactly! I feel so much better now :)

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[LucyStoner]

There's a lottery admissions school that if my son gets into, we'd want to move to shorten his commute. I see good listings in that area and am tempted to move now but if he doesn't get in I don't know that we want to move. It's hard to figure out.

 

Will the high schools in your area provide transportation?

[freesia]

when they were freshmen, they were like  quivering herd of fawns. They were ready to scatter in an instant. They didn't like to be first, they all looked to each other for safety, and were very easy to spook.  But the sophomores are feeling brave... they have found their feet and they think they are grown. They think they have this whole high school thing down pat. They know where they can cut corners and they think they know how get away with bull***t.  I feel like all us parents spent the year slack jawed at their feats of idiocy, lol. It was like... Do you really think we don't know what you are up to? Really? Reeeeeeaaaaly???

 

Now, with 11th grade just started, like, this month just started,  my son is suddenly  all business. Don't I know he only has TWO YEARS of this left? Am I not aware that he has to start thinking about college this very year?  Really, what have I been doing all this time? :lol:

 

Another Mom of an 11th grade boy who agrees. Who is this motivated, hard working child who showed up this year?  The one who is taking responsibility and even going "above and beyond" in some areas.  Huh.  I.love.it

 

[AngelaNYC]

My dd(20) homeschooled from 3rd to 8th grade and chose to attend high school.  Her dream was to get into a performing arts high school for dance.  She got into LaGuardia High School (the Fame school) and it was a wonderful experience.  She adjusted fine and got good grades even though we unschooled just about the whole time.  She took the subway there and back no problem.  She made a ton of friends, too.   She had 3 hours of academic classes, lunch, and then 3 hours of dance classes.  She would have preferred less academics, lol, but over all, she is glad she went. 

 

 

[Elfknitter.#]

Thanks for the responses so far. I've been skimming when I can. I'm hoping to read through more thoroughly tonight.

[Elfknitter.#]

Thanks for the responses so far. I've been skimming when I can. I'm hoping to read through more thoroughly tonight.