Working independently

[shinyhappypeople]

Is 11 too young to expect DD to work independently on at least some of her stuff?  Right now, I'm with her for every subject.  She has trouble understanding written directions, so I have to read them out loud to her and then rephrase them and then do an example problem or two.  Then she's off like a rocket.  I wonder if my expectations that she should be able to work independently are realistic.  There are a few things, like spelling (which she rocks at), that I'd love to be able to just hand her the book, have her read the directions and get it done on her own. 

[Critterfixer]

I'd say if she really does need your help with deciphering the written directions, then yes, expecting her to be independent at this age is not realistic. You might work on having her do the rephrasing of the directions with you, so that she starts deciding how best to decode a direction so that it makes sense to her. Chances are good that once she learns how to do that for herself, she can become more independent in subjects that she does well already, like her spelling, and you can start handing it off to her.

[regentrude]

if she has trouble understanding written directions, that would preclude completely independent work. Just go over the directions with her and send her off to do her actual work independently. 

[purduemeche]

Yes, at 11, generally, you should expect her to be able to work independently.  We practice this with our 10, 11 and 12 yo's, and they regularly flub the answers due to not following directions.  We just use this as a chance to teach them about reading directions along with the content.

 

I suppose you could say we are going on faith at this point that this is the right way.  We have 11 kids, so it's a matter of survival to make this happen.

[Milknhoney]

My 11 year old is almost entirely independent. He has to be so I can work with his younger sister. He is supposed to read his instructions TWICE but of course he usually doesn't and tears occasionally ensue. I agree with Critterfixer; you should work with her to learn to decode instructions herself. 

[Pistachio mom]

You might have to scaffold her up to working more independently.  You said she does not understand the directions; is it because she has trouble focusing, needs practice with comprehension, is it maybe a two-part assignment?  Will she read silently alone?

 

I do expect my 5th grader to work independently on parts of her work. She has focusing issues, but is very visual. She does well using her planner for a list. We have a big dot to dot near her work area that I connect dots for when I can catch her working hard. Also finished assignments get dots too. It takes 2 - 4 weeks to fill up the picture, and then she gets a reward. This has been a help is helping her to work independently. Sometimes I have to stand next to her while she reads directions (outloud or silently). She tends to skip the directions if I am not standing there. I have specific periods of the day she must work independently, while I work with her siblings.

 

I also have to make sure her desk is not turned to face outside where our dogs are. They are always great for distractions....

 

I encourage you to consider the entire situation: the surroundings, her learning style, time of day she works alone, are the assignments short or long... etc....   Sometimes I teach a few subjects, then allow her to work independently on those 3 after I go over directions for all 3 total.  It is also helpful for me when she puts question marks by what she doesn't understand and skip it. Rather than wait for me to stop working with someone else just to help her.  She knows that I will come over when I am at a stopping place with my 1st-2nd grader.

 

These are just a few ideas! I hope you get more comments on this post. I think we all struggle with this.

 

 

Edited September 15, 2016 by Pistachio mom

[FriedClams]

My expectations for me are the same as in a classroom.... Kids need a teacher. I teach. I'm there for questions. If she needs help, and with an iep or in a classroom would get help, then by all means help. Don't do her work, but teach. I'm not anti independent, but I figure if I'd freak on a school for a teacher giving my kids a pile of books and walking out, I shouldn't do the same.

[Guest]

If she cannot read and figure out the directions I'd be working with her on that - having her read them and rephrase them herself or narrate them back, then gradually having her try to work an example problem first whole you supervise... Baby steps. Independent work is something that takes practice as much as maturity. Some students have the latter and just need the former, and some just aren't ready even though they're willing to try.

 

My oldest two do indeed work independently on some subjects, but we have been inching that way since they gained reading fluency. A lot has been practice with instructions/informational reading skills/critical thinking.

[MotherGoose]

I definitely teach my 10 year old, but there are also plenty of things I expect her to do independently. Like if the CLE grammar says to underline the verb twice and circle the noun, then she should be able to do that without help. (She doesn't always, but that's a carelessness problem). We are doing WWS and she's not able to read and do the directions without some support, which I think is normal (5th grade). If she couldn't (not wouldn't ) follow simple directions I would think there was a problem that might warrant further assessment. I also put "read p 20-30" on an assignment sheet and expect her to follow through. I find, which SWB says in her stuff about WWS, that if the child doesn't understand the directions, have them read the directions aloud to you, then tell you what they mean. That helps encourage the process toward independence.

[freesia]

If she cannot read and figure out the directions I'd be working with her on that - having her read them and rephrase them herself or narrate them back, then gradually having her try to work an example problem first whole you supervise... Baby steps. Independent work is something that takes practice as much as maturity. Some students have the latter and just need the former, and some just aren't ready even though they're willing to try.

 

My oldest two do indeed work independently on some subjects, but we have been inching that way since they gained reading fluency. A lot has been practice with instructions/informational reading skills/critical thinking.

 

Yes, this.

 

Have you tried having her read the directions out loud? Sometimes that makes it easier for children who have trouble understanding  directions. It works well with word problems, too.  After she reads it out loud ask her what she thinks it says or what it says to do first. 

 

But 11 is not to young to work somewhat independently, particularly on exercises that are familiar.  For example, my present 11 year old is my most needy 11 year old.  He has mild dyslexia and is quickly overwhelmed.  We go through all of his work every morning with me teaching new math and grammar concepts and reviewing his science (history and lit happened at another time). I also would go over every direction for each part of math and grammar. Sometimes I would highlight key words for him.  At the end of last year he would work through his work independently. If he had trouble, I would have him read the directions to me and then ask what he thought he should do.  It went well.

 

This year, he has some new curriculum and more work.  Even though it is his 4th year in the same math book,  everyday he says it is too hard and he has no idea what to do.  I have him read it outloud, etc.  Every subject is the same. It is more his anxiety speaking.  I know that if I do the work for him, he will happily allow me to talk him through every activity.  But, if I hand more and more of that responsibility over to him,  he becomes more confident and only comes when he is really, really stuck (like last year).

 

Now, your dd may have different issues.  You might want to consult a SLP for some strategies if she is really not able to understand the directions.  But try having her read them aloud and highlighting the key words and see if it helps.

[OneStepAtATime]

Is it decoding, comprehension, focus...?  I would be trying to find out the underlying issues with reading and understanding directions.  At 11 she should be able to read some directions and do some things on her own, depending on what type of material you are using.  If she cannot comprehend ANY directions but she is decoding them correctly, then there may be issues beyond normal developmental ones that perhaps a SLP could check into. If she is struggling even with decoding then maybe dyslexia or developmental vision issues may be part of the picture.  I can't remember, has she had any evaluations?  I thought she had, but I could be wrong.  

[shinyhappypeople]

Is it decoding, comprehension, focus...?  I would be trying to find out the underlying issues with reading and understanding directions.  At 11 she should be able to read some directions and do some things on her own, depending on what type of material you are using.  If she cannot comprehend ANY directions but she is decoding them correctly, then there may be issues beyond normal developmental ones that perhaps a SLP could check into. If she is struggling even with decoding then maybe dyslexia or developmental vision issues may be part of the picture.  I can't remember, has she had any evaluations?  I thought she had, but I could be wrong.  

You're thinking of my older daughter.  Younger daughter hasn't had any evals.   I think I need to just teach reading directions as a specific skill, since apparently it's reasonable to expect an 11  year old to read and understand directions on a worksheet.  I think she gets easily overwhelmed and, couple that with the fact that she doesn't really want to do the work... there you go.  

[LEK]

My 7 and 9yo's both work nearly entirely independently although they are very independent kids in all respects and advanced in several areas.

Yes I would expect an 11yo to be able to work independently for a lot if not most of their work. If there are no reading issues then I would work on reading and following directions with her until she is confident in her ability to do so. Work on getting her independent in one subject at a time and then gradually build up from there. A slightly different suggestion but have you considered maybe doing some logic books along the lines of mind benders with her, those ones are read the clues/directions and work out the puzzle; working on reading the clues and deciphering them in the logic book has really helped my kids with reading and interpreting directions in their other curricula.

[deerforest]

My expectations for me are the same as in a classroom.... Kids need a teacher. I teach. I'm there for questions. If she needs help, and with an iep or in a classroom would get help, then by all means help. Don't do her work, but teach. I'm not anti independent, but I figure if I'd freak on a school for a teacher giving my kids a pile of books and walking out, I shouldn't do the same.

 

I agree, but I think I'm more of an enabler than a teacher. We're very discussion based in our learning methods here, and DD is a social learner. Honestly, we have discussed this, and we both agree that a model in which she is doing most of her work independently isn't the model for us. She is an accelerated learner who enjoys deep discussions and abhors anything resembling a workbook. We both have no tolerance for busy work. I design most of our curriculum to support her learning style.

 

Just because some kids can work independently, it doesn't mean that all can, want to, or even should. I get so frustrated with this board when people make sweeping generalizations about how kids this age absolutely should be doing "x". 

 

I certainly wasn't doing all my learning in school independently at her age, not even through my PhD program. I still had professors and lectures. I certainly wouldn't have gotten through my intense grad level neurochem classes as much as I did without instruction (note: I hate neurochem and would have never read the texts on my own).

 

I know it's not easy to carve out time. I work full time about 50 hours per week. Luckily I work from home so between early morning starts (6am) and weekend time, I'm still able to work with her 1:1 for about 4 hours per day. She does have work to do on her own but that's more like 1.5-2 hours per day.

 

But, if you have a child who is struggling with independent work, meet the child where he/she is, provide the support and scaffolding, and don't compare to same-age kids. They aren't your kid.

[Wheres Toto]

Depends on the kid and the curriculum you are choosing.

 

 

 

I agree with this.

 

My kids do a lot of their work independently but some of the stuff we are using, we've been using for years.  Ds is doing Math Mammoth 6A and has been using MM since 1st grade.  We use a few Evan Moor and Spectrum books and those are pretty repetitive.  They have a pretty good idea of how this stuff works at this point.  We are doing a few new things this year and those do require a little more assistance, at least for now. 

 

I've also started the kids with planners this year.  I write down exactly what they are supposed to do - not all the instructions from a page, although I may underline things they really need to pay attention to.   They are still learning to use them but I think my son is going to be better about it now since I pointed out that he's actually done MORE work than he was supposed to on a few occasions this week.