Is it normal to still be dependent after graduating from college?

[doetwin]

I'm 22 and I'll be graduating from college in a few months. There aren't any jobs in my field that I can get straight out of undergrad that pay enough for me to be self-supporting. I will probably still be living with my parents for about a year or so after I graduate and they will still be supporting me. Is this normal?

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

In recent years, with the economy the way it is, yes it is normal. 

[Kiara.I]

I think it's become more common.

 

That said, you said for "about a year".  Does that mean there's a plan in place to be moving away from the situation?  Moving up through the ranks and getting a pay increase, for instance, or going back to school for advanced training or something?

[Guest]

I'm much older than you and even then I had to have a graduate degree to obtain a paying job in my field. I lived at home an extra year to get my Master's so at least imo it's totally normal. 

[shinyhappypeople]

I'm 22 and I'll be graduating from college in a few months. There aren't any jobs in my field that I can get straight out of undergrad that pay enough for me to be self-supporting. I will probably still be living with my parents for about a year or so after I graduate and they will still be supporting me. Is this normal?

 

If you can't find a well-paid position in your field right now, look outside your field.  Take what you can get.   Even if it's not fun.  Even if it doesn't pay a lot.   Plenty of people go straight out of undergrad and support themselves by temping, fast food, and less-than-awesome jobs while they search for something better.  Straight out of undergrad, I worked (mostly) f/t jobs that paid barely minimum wage, that I didn't like.   

 

In my case, I supported myself by having lots of roommates (once there was 5 of us in a 3 bedroom townhouse).  I rode the bus to my (uninspiring, low-paying) job.  It wasn't fun, but it was temporary and it was HUGE for building my self-confidence and maturity.  I felt very proud of myself for being independent. :)  

[Beth S]

I wouldn't give up hope yet.  Ask for help in creating a resume, networking with others in your field, considering an internship. 

If you're graduating in December, you may benefit from being in a small pool of new grads looking for a job in your region.

Really.  Talk with others in your field for suggestions.

[Crimson Wife]

It is common, especially with the high cost of housing these days. You might want to consider doing one of those short-term IT "bootcamps". My brother recently decided to get out of audio engineering because he was tired of the instability (he would get hired for one tour at a time and if the tour got cut short or canceled, he'd have to go hustle & find another one). Anyways, he did one of those bootcamps, got some sort of certification and easily found a job. His employer will pay for additional training that will lead to a promotion and a salary increase once he earns certification in additional areas.

 

The employer didn't care that my brother's degree was in a completely different field (music production) so long as he had that initial certification. My brother liked audio engineering better but he'd reached the stage in his life where having a steady job took priority.

[Guest]

No, but I am rural. Most move to where they can find a job in their major. Many will have roommates in the first living situation.

[lllll]

nm

Edited October 5, 2016 by Cathi

[J-rap]

My kids have done it different ways.  Some have moved back home for awhile, or with relatives.  One dd moved into a big old house with six other gals around her age, where she just needed to pay for the one bedroom, and with her hodgepodge of small part-time jobs, she could pay rent quite easily there.  Another got a job (teaching overseas) that didn't pay too well but paid for her housing.  

 

So I think partly it depends on how eager you are to be on your own and your expectations.  If you don't mind sharing a home or apartment with several other people and getting a couple part-time jobs in anything at all in order to pay the rent while you continue your search for a job that's more in line with your career goals, you may be able to swing it.  Otherwise if you and your parents are fine with the idea of you leaving with them for awhile and taking your time to find the right job, etc., then I think that's fine.  I see a lot of young adults doing that.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We are all interdependent on others in our adult lives.  For some, to varying degrees, it will be our families of origin.  For others it will be friends.  Or a spouse with whom they build a new family.  I think the trick is finding the balance of how to do that.  Having set financial goals is good.  Just spinning your wheels isn't.  ;) 

[madteaparty]

We are all interdependent on others in our adult lives.  For some, to varying degrees, it will be our families of origin.  For others it will be friends.  Or a spouse with whom they build a new family.  I think the trick is finding the balance of how to do that.  Having set financial goals is good.  Just spinning your wheels isn't.  ;)

 

I agree.

Also, normal is overrated. I think going by the herd's consensus is what gets one in trouble.

[bolt.]

I think it's unusual to be 100% literally independent at college graduation. I see a lot of continued generosity towards launched children who are on good terms with their parents. It isn't normal to see an adult child abruptly 'cut off' of all forms of support upon graduation unless there is tension.

 

I also think it's unusual to be completely 100% living as a dependant if it continues after a period of a few months for job seeking (and if further education is not the plan). By 100% dependent, I mean that parents are providing all food and shelter, all forms of care, lives still entangled in a parent-child way). Mostly there is at least some rent-paying and buying of one's own food, etc.

 

In between these two "100%" ends of the spectrum, I think there are a lot of ways to do this transition sensibly and 'normally'. All sorts of families do it all sorts of ways.

 

For you I think you need to clarify for yourself and your parents 1. Exactly how-and-when your education is most likely to become employment (Are there any steps to be taken? Is it just a matter of waiting and applying for few openings? Will you do more education?) And, 2. What sorts of things you will be doing as a responsible adult in the meantime (Working outside your educated field? Saving up and planning to relocate? Brief training for another field? Networking?)

 

Based on those things, if your parents choose to welcome you to continue to depend on them for some parts of your life, that's fine. If at all possible (unless they tell you not to) pay them at least a token amount of rent, take care of your own food and transportation, and help with lots of chores.

[Laurel-in-CA]

My 24yo is living on her own, working f/time, paying her way, still driving and fixing the old car we got her, paying off her student loans while saving for a better vehicle, and still on our health and car insurance. We look forward eagerly to the day when she takes over her own insurance....car insurance should be this year.

 

The health insurance is a really big cost, and her employer doesn't cover it. Hopefully by the time she ages off our policy she'll have a better job and be ready to take on her own bills 100%.

 

So, no, not unusual, especially when employers are looking for experience or multiple internships before hiring full time. DD could get gig work/contract stuff, but full-time with benefits is a lot harder to find....and her current position is certainly not her dream job, but it pays the bills. Hang in there and *keep* looking!