This is me being petty

[Ginevra]

I would rather you didn't quote.

 

There is an adult person in my household who wants to sing well. Person loves music and has gotten rather good at acoustic guitar, plays every day, multiple times a day. I enjoy hearing Person play accouatic guitar.

 

However, Person wants to sing but CANNOT. Has no ability to discern pitch or correct breath support or timing or correct lyrics. Person will mutter in unknown lyrics in spots because Person does not know the words. But mainly, Person just CANNOT SING and it drives me bat-sh!t insane to hear that croaking attempt. I'm very sound sensitive and it is close to unbearable.

 

The Person is perfectly well aware that I do not care for the attempted singing and has always confessed an awareness that singing is not a gift God chose to bestow upon Person. Yet, maybe age, maybe just Don't-Shive-AGit has caused this Person to seemingly say, "Well, I know so far I have not been much of a good singer, but I'm trying to get better; I'm practicing."

 

No, no, no. I would prefer Person would NOT PRACTICE and I do not have a shred of hope that Person will ever sing acceptably well and I really don't wish to listen to Person's attempts for however long it takes Person to give up. I stick headphones on pretty darn often now and it's too bad really, because this isolates a person quite effectively; that's why the teen with earbuds in is the poster-child symbol for teen apathy. What is more, I can't even enjoy the accoustic guitar playing anymore, because Person is determined to start croaking along, ruining the song.

 

I know this makes me a terrible human being. But I would like to keep my terribleness to myself. WWYD?

[mommymonster]

Save yourself and your sanity: Industrial strength earplugs. You can get them at stores that stock OSHA supplies. 

[SKL]

I have a person in my household who was doing that for a while.  Thankfully that person eventually gave up.

 

I used to give gentle suggestions and point out that the sound does not improve the louder one sings.  :P  But mostly I just grinned and bore it.

 

You could do an extra daily jog whenever your person starts the noise.  Or take a shower so the sound is muffled.

 

How about asking your person to learn some lovely classical guitar music that doesn't have words?

[ktgrok]

Record said person and play it back to them? Pay for a single consult with a voice coach as a gift and hope the coach gives them the real truth?

[fairfarmhand]

Isn't there a movie out right now with a similar theme?

Meryl Streep is in it.

http://www.npr.org/2016/03/11/468938918/introducing-marguerite-an-opera-loving-socialite-who-can-t-sing-for

 

I might also be playing the Andy Griffith episode Barney and the Choir

[Guest]

Unless Person is a younger person who might be able to learn, then some lessons maybe?

This is a 50+ person. I don't think Person would actually attend lessons. I think Person just likes the act of picking up the guitar at any free moment and messing around. For this reason, I also don't think it would work to say, "Let's say evenings after 7 are your practice time in the garage." Person would not follow through with something like that, I don't think.

[Guest]

Record said person and play it back to them? Pay for a single consult with a voice coach as a gift and hope the coach gives them the real truth?

Thing is, Person knows this is not Person's gift. It's not like those odd American Idol people who make it to auditions with no awareness they can't sing, KWIM? I think this Person just feels like, "I'm at this point in my life and if I want to sing, I should just sing. Who cares if I don't sing well." But *I* care, that's who. *sigh*

[ktgrok]

Thing is, Person knows this is not Person's gift. It's not like those odd American Idol people who make it to auditions with no awareness they can't sing, KWIM? I think this Person just feels like, "I'm at this point in my life and if I want to sing, I should just sing. Who cares if I don't sing well." But *I* care, that's who. *sigh*

 

Get a kazoo and play along to annoy said person into stopping?

[8circles]

I don't see any way that you can solve this gracefully.  Just buy the earplugs and hope it's a phase.

[Garga]

Embrace the horror: sing along.  Belt it out. Let loose.  Go with it.  Own it. 

 

You're old enough, just like 50 something Other Person, not to care what anyone thinks.  And if you're both singing horribly, eventually you'll find the humor in it.  Also, loud singing is great for deep breathing and for giving oneself a little mini-high.
 

Watch this video (go to 1:05) and be the horrible singer: 

Edited September 14, 2016 by Garga

[Guest]

Embrace the horror: sing along. Belt it out. Let loose. Go with it. Own it.

 

You're old enough, just like 50 something Other Person, not to care what anyone thinks. And if you're both singing horribly, eventually you'll find the humor in it. Also, loud singing is great for deep breathing and for giving oneself a little mini-high.

 

Watch this video (go to 1:05) and be the horrible singer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA8sWvlBx1U

I sing well, though. ;)

[Guest]

I don't see any way that you can solve this gracefully. Just buy the earplugs and hope it's a phase.

Yeah, I think it's pretty much this.

[kewb]

I can not sing.  Musical talent is not something my family is blessed with.  I always say I couldn't carry a tune even if it had a handle.  That said, I love to sing.  I will burst into song over anyhting and everything.

 

However, you are bothered by the singing therefore it is reasonable to request that the two of you sit down and discuss practice times.  Also know, that there is no way that this will be handled with any grace whatsoever.  It is personal and emotional.

[Barb_]

This person lives in my house too! He plus beautiful guitar, which I love, and proceeds to ruin it with a nasal falsetto that makes me want to climb walls. Earplugs Do Not Help. But I invested in some sound blocking headphones and listen to simplyrain or some wordless music and read a book.

[Guest]

I can not sing. Musical talent is not something my family is blessed with. I always say I couldn't carry a tune even if it had a handle. That said, I love to sing. I will burst into song over anyhting and everything.

 

However, you are bothered by the singing therefore it is reasonable to request that the two of you sit down and discuss practice times. Also know, that there is no way that this will be handled with any grace whatsoever. It is personal and emotional.

Yes, it is...and that makes sense. What if Person said, "I don't want you to bake anything because your baking is terrible and I don't want my nose and tastebuds assaulted with your cookies."? No, Person could not say this to me in any way that wouldn't be Fightin' Words. This is similar. Doesn't one have the right to "practice" singing in their own household? Yes, I do think so. I just wish I didn't have to hear it.

[Garga]

This person lives in my house too! He plus beautiful guitar, which I love, and proceeds to ruin it with a nasal falsetto that makes me want to climb walls. Earplugs Do Not Help. But I invested in some sound blocking headphones and listen to simplyrain or some wordless music and read a book.

 

 

Nasal falsetto!  Oh, now that's torture.  Quill, is your Person singing with a nasal falsetto?? 

 

Well, since you're a good singer, just drown him out. Sing louder than him.  Maybe he'll get tired of you trying to take over his singing sessions and give up.  One can only hope...

[itsheresomewhere]

We find that when the dogs and Guinea pigs join in the person stops singing for a little while. After enough times, they kindly limited it to the car.

[nd293]

I read recently about a library somewhere in Europe that had installed a karaoke booth. I would find the article and tell your local library that it is a Very Good Idea!

 

This would definitely drive me nuts. I'm also sound sensitive. I tolerate my daughter who sings well, but there are days when I warn her she has exactly 15 minutes to play her guitar because that's really all I can take, or that she must play the piano keyboard with headphones. More difficult with an adult. I would literally beg them to stop, I think. Or leave the house every single time, letting them know why I have to.

[RioSamba]

Maybe Person could build himself a soundproof music studio, or build you a soundproofed room of your own!

[Sara in AZ]

It drives me batty even when the good singers in my house sing to loudly or repetitively.

 

There is a grown up Person in my house who has a weird habit of humming to himself in weird, tuneless, monotone when he is engrossed in something. (Think Glen Gould but without the amazing keyboard skills to go with it.) I love him so much BUT IT IS SO WEIRD AND ANNOYING!! He knows it's annoying, but it's almost subconsciously that he does it. Sometimes the kids will beg him to stop, but I think after 15 years it's time to track down some earplugs.

 

No help. Just commiseration. Good luck!

[LucyStoner]

Be glad he didn't take up an even more annoying instrument?

 

I'm with the others. Earplugs. A sudden impulse to garden whenever the singing starts. Remembering that you need to go to the store for something "very important".

[Guest]

Actually, Person has played at learning other very annoying instruments. We have a drum kit in the basement. We have a piano, which I love, but not when Person plays. We have headphones, but Person wants to play piano loud. The "benefit" of singing seems to be that singing can be done at any moment, while drums and piano can't just fit in while dinner is finishing up.

[Alice]

I'm also really sound sensitive. I don't think you are a terrible person. (I'm also a horrible singer, so I can feel for Person.) 

 

I make the issue with the sound about me. I have a Whistler in our house who wants to Whistle ALL THE TIME. In this case, he's actually quite a good whistler and can whistle in tune and quite complicated things. But it drives me batty after awhile because it's the same tune over and over again. I'll do everything I can to let him do it: wear headphones, listen to something else, go in the other room, etc. But at some point if I can't take it anymore I'll just say something like "Hey, can you please stop whistling. I know I'm weird but the sound bothers me." 

 

Unless you are fine with letting everyone else in the house go around singing at the top of their lungs that might work. Try all the other distraction/avoidance techniques and then if you have to say something make it about your sensitivity and not his singing. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Maybe a few voice lessons.  Very few people can't improve without a few lessons.  Maybe the person won't ever be great or even good, but they can learn to be on key better. 

 

Or booze.  (for you)

 

 

[DawnM]

I might also be playing the Andy Griffith episode Barney and the Choir

I JUST saw that the other day!

[happypamama]

Maybe hook this person up with Ken Tamplin and his Weekend Warrior voice coach lessons?  Maybe he'll improve his singing a bit so that it's tolerable.

 

[lauranc]

I have a "person" who doesn't live here full time anymore, but comes occasionally for food, comfy bed, and love from family--- this person is like your person.  I learned to tune it out completely and as this person got older, said person developed a sense of humor about the lack of ability and no longer feels defensive about it.  It has made life much easier.  I get to hear acoustic (and electric) guitar as well.  Maybe give it some more time, and your person will gain some perspective too. :001_smile:

Edited September 14, 2016 by lauranc

[BlsdMama]

I would rather you didn't quote.

 

There is an adult person in my household who wants to sing well. Person loves music and has gotten rather good at acoustic guitar, plays every day, multiple times a day. I enjoy hearing Person play accouatic guitar.

 

However, Person wants to sing but CANNOT. Has no ability to discern pitch or correct breath support or timing or correct lyrics. Person will mutter in unknown lyrics in spots because Person does not know the words. But mainly, Person just CANNOT SING and it drives me bat-sh!t insane to hear that croaking attempt. I'm very sound sensitive and it is close to unbearable.

 

The Person is perfectly well aware that I do not care for the attempted singing and has always confessed an awareness that singing is not a gift God chose to bestow upon Person. Yet, maybe age, maybe just Don't-Shive-AGit has caused this Person to seemingly say, "Well, I know so far I have not been much of a good singer, but I'm trying to get better; I'm practicing."

 

No, no, no. I would prefer Person would NOT PRACTICE and I do not have a shred of hope that Person will ever sing acceptably well and I really don't wish to listen to Person's attempts for however long it takes Person to give up. I stick headphones on pretty darn often now and it's too bad really, because this isolates a person quite effectively; that's why the teen with earbuds in is the poster-child symbol for teen apathy. What is more, I can't even enjoy the accoustic guitar playing anymore, because Person is determined to start croaking along, ruining the song.

 

I know this makes me a terrible human being. But I would like to keep my terribleness to myself. WWYD?

 

 

Allow only singing along to music rather than alone (with no other voices) except practice time?  That way the voice is semi-covered by loud music.  This is what we do - camouflage my voice with other singers.

I'm not much help.  I *am* that person.  I LOVE to sing.  I have no idea why God bestowed me with this voice when I love to sing this much.  If he feels about like I do, it would be a sad, sad day to NOT sing.  Thank goodness my kids have no idea about tone or pitch. :p :D

Edited September 14, 2016 by BlsdMama

[Rebel Yell]

Seriously, voice lessons! I have seen miraculous transformations. For one Person I know, two months of weekly half-hour lessons made a massive improvement.

 

Your Person probably doesn't want to truly be awful, and if your Person loves it so much, why not get some training to improve? Same as any hobby or job or anything else.

[Guest]

Maybe a few voice lessons. Very few people can't improve without a few lessons. Maybe the person won't ever be great or even good, but they can learn to be on key better.

 

Or booze. (for you)

On your last point, I have to laugh. I don't regularly imbibe - I can't afford the calories for starters - but over Labor Day weekend, I had two "Girl Beers" (Mike's Hard) with dinner. I actually thought to myself, while picking crabs and coming towards the bottom of my second bottle, "I am remarkably placid with two girl beers. I should do this more often." ;)

[SparklyUnicorn]

On your last point, I have to laugh. I don't regularly imbibe - I can't afford the calories for starters - but over Labor Day weekend, I had two "Girl Beers" (Mike's Hard) with dinner. I actually thought to myself, while picking crabs and coming towards the bottom of my second bottle, "I am remarkably placid with two girl beers. I should do this more often." ;)

 

And after 3 you might think the person has an amazing voice.  :laugh:

[AK_Mom4]

I have four amazingly musical kids with great voices.

I am a musical person myself.

 

My kids wince and put on their headphones when I sing. I'm really bad unless I am concentrating hard on being in tune, which takes all the fun out of it.

 

I still sing at home because I enjoy it and hey- it's my house.

 

I triple the booze recommendation.

Edited September 14, 2016 by AK_Mom4

[mellifera33]

Maybe you could buy him a set of bagpipes. It's hard to sing when you have to keep the bag inflated.

[HeWillSoar]

I can not sing.  Musical talent is not something my family is blessed with.  I always say I couldn't carry a tune even if it had a handle.  That said, I love to sing.  I will burst into song over anyhting and everything.

 

However, you are bothered by the singing therefore it is reasonable to request that the two of you sit down and discuss practice times.  Also know, that there is no way that this will be handled with any grace whatsoever.  It is personal and emotional.

 

This is me.  I don't care that I can't sing.  I still love to.  I always say there is a song for any occasion.  One of my kids has sensory issues and has always hated me singing, even singing along with a song in the car, which I find really stifling but I try to keep quiet around him. 

[Ravin]

Maybe you could buy him a set of bagpipes. It's hard to sing when you have to keep the bag inflated.

 

But you can't really practice that indoors...hey, there's a solution! Talk him into singing outside?

[shawthorne44]

Allow only singing along to music rather than alone (with no other voices) except practice time?  That way the voice is semi-covered by loud music.  This is what we do - camouflage my voice with other singers.

I'm not much help.  I *am* that person.  I LOVE to sing.  I have no idea why God bestowed me with this voice when I love to sing this much.  If he feels about like I do, it would be a sad, sad day to NOT sing.  Thank goodness my kids have no idea about tone or pitch. :p :D

 

That is me, only I know why I got the voice.   It is punishment for asking my mother to not sing when I was a child.  That, and my voice is precisely like hers.  

 

I have been told to not sing in church and to not sing the anthem.  Except for that, I only sing when alone.  I used to have two cats and around every Halloween when I started to sing Christmas hymns, the cats would hide at first.   Until it dawned on them that it meant I was Happy.   

[redsquirrel]

a birthday (or whatever) gift of 5 voice lessons with a professional teacher.  Given with love and a enthusiastic "you are getting better every day and you are ready for the next step"

 

Voice teachers often have older students who always wanted to try singing. It really isn't that uncommon. Plus, they can be super fun!  And they are really educational, I never knew all that goes into singing. It was fascinating when my son took lesson.

[foxbridgeacademy]

The other adult in my house has a pretty decent voice, does the whole Karaoke thing sometimes and so far has been kind enough to NOT complain when I sing along with the radio even though we both know I sound pretty bad. I don't have that kind of tolerance so I'd tell the person to get some voice lessons, let someone else suffer through their croaking. Then I'd ask them to not practice while I'm around until the instructor has said they no longer sound like a dying bullfrog.  Then I'd tell them how much I love them.

[wintermom]

I spent years sitting in the same room daily with my ds and dd as they were learning the violin. That can be pure torture, as correct intonation is very challenging with the violin - not to mention the squeekiness of the bow. You have the option of leaving the room, the house, putting on head-phones or whatever. You have it great! Get over the pettiness and get on with life. 

 

BTW - even good singers have intonation issues - it's a given. So you may not be as bad as this person, but to someone, somewhere it could well be. ;)

Edited September 14, 2016 by wintermom