Oh man, what have I agreed to? (Update in #218)

[Jenny in Florida]

Jenny, if you stop trying to justify things this thread will go away. 

 

Oh, I'm not really "justifying." I'm actually finding the exercise of formulating responses to be helpful in clarifying my own feelings about the whole thing.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I wouldn't do THIS thing, but like you, I am doing other insane things in the name of car-sharing and helping young adults get launched. Hope the 6 weeks go by quickly, with safety and health for everybody in the family.

[BlsdMama]

 

 

It's six weeks. I'll survive, but, oh boy, will I be exhausted.

 

Am I out of my mind?

 

 

Yes.

 

 

Honestly, yes.  This is going to be SO much.  I hope he's recognizing the sacrifice AND grateful.

And I really would put a deadline on the six weeks.  I could do it for a short period but I drove DS to classes last year, mock last year, and work twice a week and, even now, it exhausts me thinking about it. 

 

If it looked like it was going beyond six weeks, there are preferences and necessities.  School is a necessity.  Working where you *like* is a preference.

[happi duck]

Yes.

 

 

Honestly, yes. This is going to be SO much. I hope he's recognizing the sacrifice AND grateful.

And I really would put a deadline on the six weeks. I could do it for a short period but I drove DS to classes last year, mock last year, and work twice a week and, even now, it exhausts me thinking about it.

 

If it looked like it was going beyond six weeks, there are preferences and necessities. School is a necessity. Working where you *like* is a preference.

Isn't yours the thread that mentions planning a wedding and an eagle scout project? I read that and think I'd lose my mind!

 

We are all so different!

 

:)

[Okra]

Oh, I'm not really "justifying." I'm actually finding the exercise of formulating responses to be helpful in clarifying my own feelings about the whole thing.

 

 

Well, clearly you should have put JAWM on the post.  I think the biggest red  flag in your OP was that your son wanted to spend more time with his girlfriend and was asking you to drive more than you needed to on a particular day/days.

 

To me, this is a red flag, that he is not appreciating or understanding the time you are putting in.

 

So, while you are clarifying your feelings about this, you might want to think about this.

 

Otherwise, you have made it very clear through additional posts that you have a plan, and you are sticking with it.  (It might have been clearer if the hive knew this in the original post.)

 

Life is a two-way street.  If you give and give and give of yourself sometimes it can lead to burn-out and depression. If you are not receiving something (appreciation.....understanding......someone doing something nice for you sometimes), then you might want to consider changing some things.

[zoobie]

I will trade late night driving for toddler/preschooler wrangling. Anyone?

 

(Also, I keep singing "Boo to you" while reading this thread. I have no idea what Jenny's son is doing, but in my head, clearly it's something fabulous at MNSSHP. :) )

[Jenny in Florida]

Well, clearly you should have put JAWM on the post.  I think the biggest red  flag in your OP was that your son wanted to spend more time with his girlfriend and was asking you to drive more than you needed to on a particular day/days.

 

To me, this is a red flag, that he is not appreciating or understanding the time you are putting in.

 

So, while you are clarifying your feelings about this, you might want to think about this.

 

Otherwise, you have made it very clear through additional posts that you have a plan, and you are sticking with it.  (It might have been clearer if the hive knew this in the original post.)

 

Life is a two-way street.  If you give and give and give of yourself sometimes it can lead to burn-out and depression. If you are not receiving something (appreciation.....understanding......someone doing something nice for you sometimes), then you might want to consider changing some things.

 

I think you're perceiving conflict or upset where there really isn't any.

 

As I recall, I did say in my original post that I knew I'd survive the six weeks, although I would be exhausted. The only real question I asked was "Am I crazy?" That one has been answered.  :001_smile:

 

As for "receiving" something in return, I definitely do. In addition to receiving thanks from my family, I derive satisfaction from taking care of them. I'm pretty strong on intrinsic motivation, I think.

[Jenny in Florida]

(Also, I keep singing "Boo to you" while reading this thread. I have no idea what Jenny's son is doing, but in my head, clearly it's something fabulous at MNSSHP. :) )

 

(Sorry, it's actually the other big theme park complex, and the event he's working is distinctly NOT appropriate for preschoolers.)

[Only me]

Two things to consider which you may or may not thought of. I'm not sure which theme park he is working at and I know it's a bit different but my dd did the Disney College program. She worked at Epcot. First know that even if he is getting off at 1:30 it could very well take him 1/2 hour to get to your car. Since you are driving him of course he won't have to take the bus like she did but keep in mind depending which park you are talking about it could take awhile to walk to your car, clock out, deal with uniform or costume etc. Also I'm not sure of his position and if those are set hours but I would make sure that they don't ever expect him to work later if things are super busy.

 

Also since there are so many people that work there could he possibly get a ride to or from work from a co-worker once in awhile? I'm not sure if we are talking about the same park or where you live but my dd was friends with a lot of people who were permanent pt or seasonal. It's possible that someone could even go to the same school as him and work there. Just a thought.

[Jenny in Florida]

Two things to consider which you may or may not thought of. I'm not sure which theme park he is working at and I know it's a bit different but my dd did the Disney College program. She worked at Epcot. First know that even if he is getting off at 1:30 it could very well take him 1/2 hour to get to your car. Since you are driving him of course he won't have to take the bus like she did but keep in mind depending which park you are talking about it could take awhile to walk to your car, clock out, deal with uniform or costume etc. Also I'm not sure of his position and if those are set hours but I would make sure that they don't ever expect him to work later if things are super busy.

 

I actually did my own theme park stint when the kids were little, working for The Mouse for about three years. So,  I'm pretty familiar with the front-line cast member experience there. And my husband has worked there in a backstage/technical position for going on two decades. 

 

But our son is actually working for the other mega-theme park complex, in an entertainment role. He's already attending rehearsals, so we know what his after-work routine will look like and how long it will take for him to be ready to leave.

 

The event has two casts, with shifts staggered to cover the hours of the event. It looks like his in and out times will be pretty firm.

[Only me]

I actually did my own theme park stint when the kids were little, working for The Mouse for about three years. So, I'm pretty familiar with the front-line cast member experience there. And my husband has worked there in a backstage/technical position for going on two decades.

 

But our son is actually working for the other mega-theme park complex, in an entertainment role. He's already attending rehearsals, so we know what his after-work routine will look like and how long it will take for him to be ready to leave.

 

The event has two casts, with shifts staggered to cover the hours of the event. It looks like his in and out times will be pretty firm.

Ok I just wanted to make sure you knew so there weren't any surprises. That's good that he will have a set schedule. Just trying to help.

[heartlikealion]

So it really has nothing to do with "late at night" or "after dark".

 

 

Good point. But the neighbor may have used the dark as a reason to coax her into a ride. "You don't want to be walking home at night alone."

 

[Jenny in Florida]

Just in case anyone is wondering how things are going:

 

We're about halfway through the second (of 7, not 6, sigh) weekends, and we're both hanging in there so far.

 

He's tired. I'm tired. He's found it pretty tough to roll out of bed in time for classes on a few mornings. I've had to be intentional about not drifting into self-pity on a couple of evenings when I look at the clock and realise I still have to wait another three or four hours before it's time to pick him up so I can come home and go to sleep. We've had a couple of talks about working as a team to get him through the season and making an effort to treat each other with kindness and consideration. 

 

But he's having a good experience with the job, and we're doing pretty well.

[Guest]

I'm glad you two are hanging in there :)

[heartlikealion]

Just in case anyone is wondering how things are going:

 

We're about halfway through the second (of 7, not 6, sigh) weekends, and we're both hanging in there so far.

 

He's tired. I'm tired. He's found it pretty tough to roll out of bed in time for classes on a few mornings. I've had to be intentional about not drifting into self-pity on a couple of evenings when I look at the clock and realise I still have to wait another three or four hours before it's time to pick him up so I can come home and go to sleep. We've had a couple of talks about working as a team to get him through the season and making an effort to treat each other with kindness and consideration. 

 

But he's having a good experience with the job, and we're doing pretty well.

 

Are you able to nap before picking him up (setting a timer/s so you don't oversleep)?

[kroe1]

Sounds like it is time for a Class B RV. You can drive it as easily as a car, but, also, pull over and take a nap or potty.

[Alicia64]

He can't ride a bike or use a bus at 1:30 a.m.

 

I would cut out the theme park. It seems like everything else is your lives has more importance -- and that's a crazy schedule that could seriously hurt other areas of your lives.

 

Edited to add: sorry! I hadn't read all the threads, just went off of your original post.

 

Alley

Edited September 24, 2016 by Alicia64

[EmilyGF]

Good to hear an update! You should edit the top thread with a note about the update in post #218 so that you don't get new and unnecessary advice. :-)

[bettyandbob]

Good to hear an update! You should edit the top thread with a note about the update in post #218 so that you don't get new and unnecessary advice. :-)

This!

 

Good update.