Would you let your daughter do a semester abroad in Beirut right now?

[J-rap]

My dd would love to do a semester abroad next spring, and taking everything into consideration (her interests, price, classes offered, etc.), the American University in Beirut seems to be the best option for her, and she is super excited about this possibility.

 

There's so much unrest in the Middle East right now.  However, I've lived there (in the Middle East, not Beirut), and from everything I read, Beirut itself seems to be a safe haven.  But I don't want to be unwise.

 

Just wondering what others' thoughts are about this.

[Ravin]

First of all, I assume if she's college age, she's an adult?

 

I would start with getting out of the mentality of "letting" my adult child do things. That is not the same as whether you will support/facilitate her doing them.

 

Which I would. I would make sure she understood as much as possible what she was getting into, and was up on safety training and knew what the procedures and consequences are for things like the State Department advising Americans to leave the country when she's mid-semester.

 

And then I'd let her do it.

[FaithManor]

If she is a legal adult it is not a matter of let. We would gently express concern. Whatever her decision after that, we would be supportive.

 

As for funding, right now college bills are high enough with two college students as well as our high schooler in Student Launch Initiative there aren't extra funds for that so I would not have to cross that bridge.

[Paige]

If she were a minor, no way! If she is an adult, it's not my call. I would consider not funding it, however, if she was relying on me to pay. 

[J-rap]

Nope. No way. 

 

Can I ask why exactly?  

[JoJosMom]

Honestly, no.

[J-rap]

First of all, I assume if she's college age, she's an adult?

 

I would start with getting out of the mentality of "letting" my adult child do things. That is not the same as whether you will support/facilitate her doing them.

 

Which I would. I would make sure she understood as much as possible what she was getting into, and was up on safety training and knew what the procedures and consequences are for things like the State Department advising Americans to leave the country when she's mid-semester.

 

And then I'd let her do it.

 

Ha, the minute I published that question I had a feeling someone would call me out on the wording!   :)

 

So, maybe the wording is off, but of course what I meant was:  would you feel comfortable with that choice?  

 

And I think I feel the same as you.  But, I do feel very responsible too because she really is looking to me for wisdom and advice.  The border region with Syria would be potentially very dangerous, but Beirut?

 

We are a family who tends to take risks and make choices that others do not, so sometimes I like to make sure I'm not too far off and listen to what others say.  

Edited September 3, 2016 by J-rap

[J-rap]

If she is a legal adult it is not a matter of let. We would gently express concern. Whatever her decision after that, we would be supportive.

 

As for funding, right now college bills are high enough with two college students as well as our high schooler in Student Launch Initiative there aren't extra funds for that so I would not have to cross that bridge.

 

Again, I had a feeling someone would call me out on the wording!  :)  Of course she's a legal adult and it's not a matter of "let."  But, she is looking to us for wisdom and advice.  

 

Interestingly, as we learned from another dd who went to Senegal for a semester, it was actually LESS expensive to do a semester abroad for her (and she even had money left over for her air ticket) than it was for her to do a regular semester at her university.  So, semesters abroad don't necessarily equate with higher expenses.  (I'm sure it depends on the country!)

[J-rap]

If she were a minor, no way! If she is an adult, it's not my call. I would consider not funding it, however, if she was relying on me to pay. 

 

Well, it's partially my call because my dd wants my advice!  She really wants to know what I think, and that's what I'm trying to figure out.  Part of me thinks that spending a semester abroad in a controlled environment in Beirut isn't any more dangerous than driving everyday on the freeway to a school in an iffy neighborhood of a large metro area in the U.S. where she also works off campus at night.  

 

But, alas, I don't always trust my instinct.  

[FaithManor]

We have friends who have recently been in Beirut just this past week. They said it was quite calm and lovely.

 

We are a bit risky compared to othet families. We spent three weeks in the non touristy areas of southern Egypt, and our daughter applied for a medic position with the army in Iraq which she didn't get. It was a real long shot since she only had two years experience in the field.

[SarahW]

Absolutely.

 

I did a year abroad in Jerusalem just when the Iraq war started, and right after a period of "unrest" in Israel, and it was fantastic. Yes, my mother and my whole family thought I was crazy, but it was a fabulous experience and I am so glad I went.

 

If she is going to the American University then the school itself should be able to give her tons of advice on safety and security. The admin and profs who teach there also live there and have families there, so they themselves know how to get around safely and deal with any situation. In my school the admin made sure to introduce us students to "locals" who had proven trustworthy to students in the past, and that provided security in that we had a safe place to go if there was ever any trouble, and the other locals knew that we were "protected." The admins also detailed places to avoid, and also freely gave advice about how to be safe and what to do in an emergency when we made plans to venture out to new areas.

 

If your daughter is a smart person, meaning someone who will carefully listen to advice and can think ahead in social situations, then I think she will be just as safe there as she would be in, say, any urban area in America.

 

Talk to the school itself. I'm sure they're used to talking to nervous parents. They should be able to tell you their own security procedures and how they advise the students to stay safe.

[MarkT]

Nope. No way. 

I second this

[OneStepAtATime]

1.  Yes, if she is interested, support her in this but definitely have her do extensive research on what to do should a situation arise. (Where does she go, what does she do if the city is evacuated or there is an attack or even a natural disaster, or what to do if she gets really ill or injured, especially if she is away from campus.)

2.  Make sure she understands she needs to learn the laws of that country.

3.  If she has not traveled much abroad have her research differences in culture and how to adapt.

4.  Make sure she has a camera and hopefully she will take lots of pictures of her amazing experience.

 

:)

[TranquilMind]

My dd would love to do a semester abroad next spring, and taking everything into consideration (her interests, price, classes offered, etc.), the American University in Beirut seems to be the best option for her, and she is super excited about this possibility.

 

There's so much unrest in the Middle East right now.  However, I've lived there (in the Middle East, not Beirut), and from everything I read, Beirut itself seems to be a safe haven.  But I don't want to be unwise.

 

Just wondering what others' thoughts are about this.

 

I am that parent who let my kids travel on their own to multiple continents.

 

But no way.  Not there.  It is just too risky.

 

Edited September 3, 2016 by TranquilMind

[J-rap]

Absolutely.

 

I did a year abroad in Jerusalem just when the Iraq war started, and right after a period of "unrest" in Israel, and it was fantastic. Yes, my mother and my whole family thought I was crazy, but it was a fabulous experience and I am so glad I went.

 

If she is going to the American University then the school itself should be able to give her tons of advice on safety and security. The admin and profs who teach there also live there and have families there, so they themselves know how to get around safely and deal with any situation. In my school the admin made sure to introduce us students to "locals" who had proven trustworthy to students in the past, and that provided security in that we had a safe place to go if there was ever any trouble, and the other locals knew that we were "protected." The admins also detailed places to avoid, and also freely gave advice about how to be safe and what to do in an emergency when we made plans to venture out to new areas.

 

If your daughter is a smart person, meaning someone who will carefully listen to advice and can think ahead in social situations, then I think she will be just as safe there as she would be in, say, any urban area in America.

 

Talk to the school itself. I'm sure they're used to talking to nervous parents. They should be able to tell you their own security procedures and how they advise the students to stay safe.

 

Thanks for the thoughtful answer.  That must have been a fascinating year abroad for you!  And yes, it would be at the American University there.  I assume that since her small university here is partnering with the program there, they are deeming it safe.  Getting in touch with the school there with concerns is a great idea.

 

We lived in Cairo where my husband attended the American University in the 80's.  It was definitely a different time, but there was some unrest.  We did things differently and were careful, but felt safe.

[Sneezyone]

I actually live in the Middle East right now, in a relative island of calm. It's been an amazing experience for my family. I wouldn't be traveling in parts of Egypt or Turkey, and we're banned from going to Saudi, but I've been to Dubai and Oman.  I've heard other parts of Jordan are lovely. There's a lot to love, see and do here in this region. There's a lot more going on (in a good way) that what Americans see on the news. I'd support her with the proviso that the student needs to be 'smart' about personal safety and security. Of course, that's true everywhere.

Edited September 5, 2016 by Sneezyone

[madteaparty]

I actually live in the Middle East right now, in a relative island of calm. It's been an amazing experience for my family. I wouldn't be traveling in parts of Egypt or Turkey, and we're banned from going to Saudi, but I've been to Dubai and Oman. I've heard Jordan is lovely. There's a lot to love, see and do here in this region. There's a lot more going on (in a good way) that what Americans see on the news. I'd support her with the proviso that the student needs to be 'smart' about personal safety and security. Of course, that's true everywhere.

Do you travel on an American passport?

[Sneezyone]

Do you travel on an American passport?

 

Yes. We have both official and civilian passports.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Ha, the minute I published that question I had a feeling someone would call me out on the wording!   :)

 

So, maybe the wording is off, but of course what I meant was:  would you feel comfortable with that choice?  

 

And I think I feel the same as you.  But, I do feel very responsible too because she really is looking to me for wisdom and advice.  The border region with Syria would be potentially very dangerous, but Beirut?

 

We are a family who tends to take risks and make choices that others do not, so sometimes I like to make sure I'm not too far off and listen to what others say.  

 

I have a 21 year old daughter in college, and I totally get what you say about "letting" her go.  :)  I wouldn't rule it out (but I would if she were a minor just because of her age, not because she's now an adult and can do whatever she wants). It sounds like an amazing opportunity! I'd be praying about it and expect dd to be praying about it.  The safest place for your girl is in the center of God's will, and I'd be looking at it from that perspective.

[Sneezyone]

Both Turkey and Egypt have been known hot spots for a long time. Families were evacuated from Incerlik over a year ago, before the airport bombing, and the DoD school was essentially closed (all the kids were educated remotely) six months before that. That said, The State Dept. just updated its travel warning for Lebanon as of July 29 and advises against travel. Bombings apparently occurred this summer in central Beirut. Is there another country in the region she'd consider?

[Crimson Wife]

The Middle East is a region where I would not fund study abroad unless there was some extremely compelling intellectual reason (like for a child who was studying archaeology and was going to be participating in a dig there). Too dangerous for Westerners, especially fair-skinned, light-eyed, Scots-Irish-German Americans who would stick out from a mile away.

 

A lower tuition than study abroad programs in safer locations would not be a compelling enough reason for me.

 

I couldn't stop adult offspring from going, but I would not provide any assistance and I might try providing incentives for choosing a different study abroad location.

[Roadrunner]

The Middle East is a region where I would not fund study abroad unless there was some extremely compelling intellectual reason (like for a child who was studying archaeology and was going to be participating in a dig there). Too dangerous for Westerners, especially fair-skinned, light-eyed, Scots-Irish-German Americans who would stick out from a mile away.

 

A lower tuition than study abroad programs in safer locations would not be a compelling enough reason for me.

 

I couldn't stop adult offspring from going, but I would not provide any assistance and I might try providing incentives for choosing a different study abroad location.

 

I had my fair-skinned, blue-eyed friend complete and amazing year in Jordan. 

 

To the OP, yes, American University in Beirut is suppose to be one of the best schools there. She will have a great time. 

[*LC]

I understood what you meant. 

 

I have a question for your daughter, "Does she want to travel while she is studying abroad or just stay where she is studying." My college senior studied abroad earlier in the year, and for her a big part of her experience was travelling within her host country and other nearby (or not so nearby) countries. She visited more than 10 countries in the 5 months she was gone. So, to her studying in Beirut would not work since many of the nearby countries have travel advisories/warnings. In fact, her college freshman brother was looking at studying abroad as a freshman and she advised against it, since he didn't have enough money saved to travel while there. 

 

Also when typing this, I searched study abroad in Beirut to answer a question I had and I saw this on the first link I clicked (it was a US university). The American University of Beirut Exchange is suspended until further notice. 

 

I don't know if that is just that university's affiliation with American dor the exchange program in general. If your daughter does do this, I would highly encourage her to look into what happens moneywise if the program is cancelled last minute or during it. One of my high schoolers was to go to Turkey this summer. Luckily, it was through  a program that had other options, and his group was switched to another one at no additional charge, but that would not have been the case with an official study abroad program. 

 

Colleges may have scholarships to help defray the cost of study abroad.

[Jackie]

I don't have a college student; mine is in elementary. I was bored tonight and reading on a bunch of boards I'm not normally on.

 

When I was in college, I spent a semester in Kenya. My school knew it would be a bit risky because they were leading up to their second-ever free elections, within a very corrupt political system. In addition, Nairobi can be a pretty risky place to be a tourist no matter what. The country had some major issues while I was there. We ended up with our plans derailed once because rebels had broken into an armory, stolen the guns, and been pursued to a coastal area; they were hemmed in on three sides with the ocean on the fourth, and it was expected to be bloody. All the day before we meant to go to that town. We saw the military presence in Nairobi quadruple while we were there due to government security concerns. There were incredibly strict warnings about being out and about on your own. This program had a colorful history of students getting themselves into major trouble by making poor decisions. The trip leaders wanted to make sure we at least went in with our eyes open.

 

All that said, I would not trade this experience for the world. It was the first time I'd traveled out of the country, and only the third time I'd been out of the Midwest at all. I had no real idea what I was getting into. I had lived in metropolitan areas and knew the basics of "city safety". After that trip, I've happily traveled many places with a much more open, roll-with-it attitude than I ever would have had without that semester. I've brought my young daughter with me to countries with state warnings, with extra research and caution, but no particular fear. This experience opened up the world for me in ways that a "safer", more standard semester abroad wouldn't have.

 

I second *LC's question of whether your daughter would mean to do any traveling while there. Neighboring countries to Kenya were in the midst of civil wars at that time, and there were students who still wanted to go, keeping to safer areas. It was a risk, but one they weighed and was inside their comfort area. I stayed within the area, but traveled through an area that had an active cholera outbreak. Again, a risk, but one that was inside my comfort area. I traveled to a remote area just before rainy season - and the roads were washed out, leaving me stranded. I would explore just what is inside your daughter's comfort area to see if any guidance could be given there.

[FaithManor]

I think my perspective is skewed due to having been in Jamaica on a humanitarian aid trip when the national strikes hit. I was in a group of young college kids and recent high school graduates in country with two experienced American Aid workers, but not a lot of emergency money amongst us. The situation was pretty bad. No outgoing phone calls, airport closed, some shootings in the streets of Kingston, and most of our food and what not had to be purchased black market. We made it up into the "mountains" (LOL, seemed like foothills to us) and hunkered down in a small town. The people were kind. We werr okay and able to fly home about a month later.

 

So after that journey, I think I tend to view study abroad or student tourist travel as a little benign.

 

Our Doctors Without Borders friends get home tomorrow afternoon. After they have had a chance to sleep and adjust to the time change, I will ask them their thoughts as they recently traveled through Lebanon and have been there several times in the last three years.

[madteaparty]

The problem is this: I have been through social unrest and war before and it was fine. I'm just not sure I would choose that risk for my kids...their lives are just different by default. With an adult child, you may not get the choice, which would be sort of a blessing i guess?

This hits home as I try to plan a RTW trip for 8th grade...and my kid studies Arabic...every Westerner l speak to who has taken their kids round there now was travelling on a non-us passport... (This only comes up much later in the conversation, BTW).

[Sneezyone]

I had my fair-skinned, blue-eyed friend complete and amazing year in Jordan. 

 

Seriously. We scream American not because of what we look like (newsflash, there are plenty of blond-haired and blue-eyed people in all parts of the world) but how we talk, dress and carry ourselves. The passport is the least of your concerns. We actually have local IDs so we don't need our passports all the time. If you plan to be in a country for a while, this is the way to go.

 

We travel, regularly, with our kids because we don't want them to fear the world. It's a big place with lots of diverse views.

 

The area where we live is relatively peaceful. Tire fires are about as risky as it gets. There are no guns, no gangs, and no bombs.

 

Given the travel update I probably wouldn't do Lebanon but Jordan, UAE, Bahrain, etc. would all be amazing experiences.

Edited September 5, 2016 by Sneezyone

[Luckymama]

My pale-skinned, red-haired dd is literally counting the semesters until she is able to study in Jordan.

[Crimson Wife]

The problem is this: I have been through social unrest and war before and it was fine. I'm just not sure I would choose that risk for my kids...their lives are just different by default. With an adult child, you may not get the choice, which would be sort of a blessing i guess?

 

The question is whether you as a parent could live with yourself if something bad happened to your child when you hadn't done anything to try to convince him/her to avoid the foreseeable risk.

 

There have, of course, been terrorist attacks in the West as well but overall choosing to study in Paris or London is a much safer choice than Beirut.

[madteaparty]

nm

 

Edited September 7, 2016 by madteaparty

[Reefgazer]

No, I would not fund DD's studies and would actively discourage studying abroad in any area that has a "woman or westerner problem"; that translates into a "violence problem".

Edited September 6, 2016 by reefgazer

[J-rap]

To my way of looking, it's just too risky. My niece barely got out of Egypt a few years ago just as it blew. My one dd went through an airport in Turkey just a few hours before it was bombed. Now, I also have military kids and they HAVE to be in that sort of situation, but for kids who don't have to be there, nope. 

 

I can certainly understand, given those experiences, why you feel the way you do!

[J-rap]

Both Turkey and Egypt have been known hot spots for a long time. Families were evacuated from Incerlik over a year ago, before the airport bombing, and the DoD school was essentially closed (all the kids were educated remotely) six months before that. That said, The State Dept. just updated its travel warning for Lebanon as of July 29 and advises against travel. Bombings apparently occurred this summer in central Beirut. Is there another country in the region she'd consider?

 

I'm sure she could come up with a second choice!  I assume her university here is keeping up with travel warnings as well.  I know that when my husband and I were in Cairo (studying at the American University), the program there was extremely careful about where we could go and where we shouldn't go.  But we'll definitely be checking out those travel warnings.

[J-rap]

I understood what you meant. 

 

I have a question for your daughter, "Does she want to travel while she is studying abroad or just stay where she is studying." My college senior studied abroad earlier in the year, and for her a big part of her experience was travelling within her host country and other nearby (or not so nearby) countries. She visited more than 10 countries in the 5 months she was gone. So, to her studying in Beirut would not work since many of the nearby countries have travel advisories/warnings. In fact, her college freshman brother was looking at studying abroad as a freshman and she advised against it, since he didn't have enough money saved to travel while there. 

 

Also when typing this, I searched study abroad in Beirut to answer a question I had and I saw this on the first link I clicked (it was a US university). The American University of Beirut Exchange is suspended until further notice. 

 

I don't know if that is just that university's affiliation with American dor the exchange program in general. If your daughter does do this, I would highly encourage her to look into what happens moneywise if the program is cancelled last minute or during it. One of my high schoolers was to go to Turkey this summer. Luckily, it was through  a program that had other options, and his group was switched to another one at no additional charge, but that would not have been the case with an official study abroad program. 

 

Colleges may have scholarships to help defray the cost of study abroad.

 

If she went to Beirut, she would not expect to travel around like she would in Europe.  But that's a great point.  

 

And wow, that's interesting about the notice you posted.  That might decide the question then!  That notice is not yet posted on my daughter's university website, but perhaps it just hasn't been updated.  She'll be meeting with the study abroad office soon at her school and will find out more info then.

 

My other daughter who went on a study abroad to Senegal a few years ago received a great scholarship from her school that covered the program and the airfare!  Partially because no one else from her school wanted to go there.  It was the highlight of her college career!

[J-rap]

I don't have a college student; mine is in elementary. I was bored tonight and reading on a bunch of boards I'm not normally on.

 

When I was in college, I spent a semester in Kenya. My school knew it would be a bit risky because they were leading up to their second-ever free elections, within a very corrupt political system. In addition, Nairobi can be a pretty risky place to be a tourist no matter what. The country had some major issues while I was there. We ended up with our plans derailed once because rebels had broken into an armory, stolen the guns, and been pursued to a coastal area; they were hemmed in on three sides with the ocean on the fourth, and it was expected to be bloody. All the day before we meant to go to that town. We saw the military presence in Nairobi quadruple while we were there due to government security concerns. There were incredibly strict warnings about being out and about on your own. This program had a colorful history of students getting themselves into major trouble by making poor decisions. The trip leaders wanted to make sure we at least went in with our eyes open.

 

All that said, I would not trade this experience for the world. It was the first time I'd traveled out of the country, and only the third time I'd been out of the Midwest at all. I had no real idea what I was getting into. I had lived in metropolitan areas and knew the basics of "city safety". After that trip, I've happily traveled many places with a much more open, roll-with-it attitude than I ever would have had without that semester. I've brought my young daughter with me to countries with state warnings, with extra research and caution, but no particular fear. This experience opened up the world for me in ways that a "safer", more standard semester abroad wouldn't have.

 

I second *LC's question of whether your daughter would mean to do any traveling while there. Neighboring countries to Kenya were in the midst of civil wars at that time, and there were students who still wanted to go, keeping to safer areas. It was a risk, but one they weighed and was inside their comfort area. I stayed within the area, but traveled through an area that had an active cholera outbreak. Again, a risk, but one that was inside my comfort area. I traveled to a remote area just before rainy season - and the roads were washed out, leaving me stranded. I would explore just what is inside your daughter's comfort area to see if any guidance could be given there.

 

Very interesting!  What an experience.  Thanks for sharing!  My husband and I have had some pretty life-changing experiences as well while traveling/living in Egypt, Jordan, and Syria.  I did have a bad/scary experience in Jordan (if I told you, you probably wouldn't even believe me, so I won't even try!   :)), but I'm still SO grateful for the time we lived there.  

Edited September 7, 2016 by J-rap

[J-rap]

I think my perspective is skewed due to having been in Jamaica on a humanitarian aid trip when the national strikes hit. I was in a group of young college kids and recent high school graduates in country with two experienced American Aid workers, but not a lot of emergency money amongst us. The situation was pretty bad. No outgoing phone calls, airport closed, some shootings in the streets of Kingston, and most of our food and what not had to be purchased black market. We made it up into the "mountains" (LOL, seemed like foothills to us) and hunkered down in a small town. The people were kind. We werr okay and able to fly home about a month later.

 

So after that journey, I think I tend to view study abroad or student tourist travel as a little benign.

 

Our Doctors Without Borders friends get home tomorrow afternoon. After they have had a chance to sleep and adjust to the time change, I will ask them their thoughts as they recently traveled through Lebanon and have been there several times in the last three years.

 

Wow, what a crazy experience!  I would love to hear what your Doctors Without Borders friends have to say about Lebanon.  Do let me know!

[J-rap]

The question is whether you as a parent could live with yourself if something bad happened to your child when you hadn't done anything to try to convince him/her to avoid the foreseeable risk.

 

There have, of course, been terrorist attacks in the West as well but overall choosing to study in Paris or London is a much safer choice than Beirut.

 

Thanks for the NPR article link.  It does sound...scary.

[FaithManor]

 

Wow, what a crazy experience! I would love to hear what your Doctors Without Borders friends have to say about Lebanon. Do let me know![/quote ]

 

They had a lovely time and had no idea that American University was closed. None. Where they stayed, it wss peaceful, friendly, no issues.

 

But these things can be different even from neighborhood to neighborhood.

 

Through their travels with the organization, they have lived in some pretty scary places so for them, probably Lebanon is pretty tame. If you have ever seen Madame Secretary season 2, there is an episode with the secretary of state's brother who in the story line is with DWB, and he is trying to make shift operate under fire. Page right out of their life a few years ago before starting a family. They still work in the region, but for the sake of their two children, serve in a little bit more secure locales.

[J-rap]

 

Wow, what a crazy experience! I would love to hear what your Doctors Without Borders friends have to say about Lebanon. Do let me know![/quote ]

 

They had a lovely time and had no idea that American University was closed. None. Where they stayed, it wss peaceful, friendly, no issues.

 

But these things can be different even from neighborhood to neighborhood.

 

Through their travels with the organization, they have lived in some pretty scary places so for them, probably Lebanon is pretty tame. If you have ever seen Madame Secretary season 2, there is an episode with the secretary of state's brother who in the story line is with DWB, and he is trying to make shift operate under fire. Page right out of their life a few years ago before starting a family. They still work in the region, but for the sake of their two children, serve in a little bit more secure locales.

 

Thanks for the report!  Yes, I can imagine that Beirut probably felt tame compared to other areas they have traveled to.  

 

To clarify, I don't believe the American University is closed.  I think the post above was saying that their child's university had suspended that exchange program for now.  When I go online, it says nothing about it being closed.

 

Actually, I just realized this morning that there are TWO American universities in Beirut.  One is the American University of Beirut, and the other is the Lebanese American University (also in Beirut).  (My daughter's university works with AUB.)

[....]

My pale-skinned, red-haired dd is literally counting the semesters until she is able to study in Jordan.

 

Just BE careful.  You really need to be street-smart over there.  Aware of your surroundings, etc.  I witnessed some horrible harassment of women when I was walking to class one day (among other things).  Just BE careful.  (I attended the University of Jordan for awhile also.)