I need to vent about homeschooling....

[SparklyUnicorn]

Last year was a lousy year.  Personal issues just made getting through the year dreadful.  So we did take quite a bit of time off this summer.  We usually school year round, but I thought maybe I just need a good break.  We still did a few things, but nothing too grueling. 

 

So it's only day 2 since trying to get back into the groove and I know I need to give it more time than that, but I am feeling that same sense of dread about it.  My younger kid (11) hates school so getting through that with him is just pure torture for me.  Then my older kid doesn't quite give me such a hard time, but he is lazy and I feel like he does as little as he can get away with and I work harder than him (he is 14). 

 

I don't know what I'm asking.  I'm not even sure what I'm hoping for.  I guess I wish I could get my motivation back.  I used to feel very content with the situation.  Quitting really is out of the question in my mind so I need to figure out how to make this work better.  Or just figure out what in heck my problem is. 

[HS Mom in NC]

Kids make their parents crazy.  That's the problem.

[JudoMom]

Last year was a lousy year.  Personal issues just made getting through the year dreadful.  So we did take quite a bit of time off this summer.  We usually school year round, but I thought maybe I just need a good break.  We still did a few things, but nothing too grueling. 

 

So it's only day 2 since trying to get back into the groove and I know I need to give it more time than that, but I am feeling that same sense of dread about it.  My younger kid (11) hates school so getting through that with him is just pure torture for me.  Then my older kid doesn't quite give me such a hard time, but he is lazy and I feel like he does as little as he can get away with and I work harder than him (he is 14). 

 

I don't know what I'm asking.  I'm not even sure what I'm hoping for.  I guess I wish I could get my motivation back.  I used to feel very content with the situation.  Quitting really is out of the question in my mind so I need to figure out how to make this work better.  Or just figure out what in heck my problem is. 

 

 

I get it.  I often compare myself to Sisyphus, dragging the boys up the hill of knowledge only to have them roll back down.  It can be soul sucking, between the trying to half-ass things and the lack of appreciation for this wonderful opportunity they have.  But I really think it's mostly normal for boys, so I try not to take it personally.  And I do see the benefits still, and I know those would go away even if I felt there was a traditional schooling option, so that keeps me going when I want to send them to boarding school.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I get it.  I often compare myself to Sisyphus, dragging the boys up the hill of knowledge only to have them roll back down.  It can be soul sucking, between the trying to half-ass things and the lack of appreciation for this wonderful opportunity they have.  But I really think it's mostly normal for boys, so I try not to take it personally.  And I do see the benefits still, and I know those would go away even if I felt there was a traditional schooling option, so that keeps me going when I want to send them to boarding school.

 

See that is the part that makes me feel like it's not totally bad because despite this I do see the benefits.  I'm seeing the progress.  I'm seeing good results (outside of homeschooling).  So despite the fact it feels rather chaotic it seems to mostly work.

 

It just seemed SO much easier when they were younger.  And I know sometimes then it didn't feel that way.

[SKL]

It's been a slumpy kind of year for me too.  I want to know where my mojo went.

 

Let me know if you find a super vitamin or something that fixes all this.  :)

[Haiku]

Kids make their parents crazy.  That's the problem.

 

This. A thousand times this.

 

I have always been pretty blissful about homeschooling. This year (9th and 8th grades) my dad has terminal cancer, my son's educational psych eval was not encouraging, my always-chill dd has turned into a hormonal mess, and I'm kinda over it. Every day I wake up with a tight feeling in my chest and ask myself "Do I have to do this again today?"

 

I have no advice for you, but I do empathize.

Edited August 31, 2016 by Haiku

[Miss Mousie]

Last year was a lousy year.  Personal issues just made getting through the year dreadful.  So we did take quite a bit of time off this summer.  We usually school year round, but I thought maybe I just need a good break.  We still did a few things, but nothing too grueling. 

 

So it's only day 2 since trying to get back into the groove and I know I need to give it more time than that, but I am feeling that same sense of dread about it.  My younger kid (11) hates school so getting through that with him is just pure torture for me.  Then my older kid doesn't quite give me such a hard time, but he is lazy and I feel like he does as little as he can get away with and I work harder than him (he is 14). 

 

I don't know what I'm asking.  I'm not even sure what I'm hoping for.  I guess I wish I could get my motivation back.  I used to feel very content with the situation.  Quitting really is out of the question in my mind so I need to figure out how to make this work better.  Or just figure out what in heck my problem is. 

 

Hugs to you, Sparkly!

 

Regarding the bolded - BTDT, for sure.  I have told DS many, many times that I should not have to work harder than he does.  Mine is now a few months into 15, and things are much better.  Still not "college ready" or "mature," lol, but I'll take what I can get.  I really have been pleased with little things he does now that were fightin'-fodder last year.

 

Are you starting everything right out of the gate, or are you ramping up?  Sometimes I think we get more done, and better, when we ease back in.

 

Can you think of one thing to change that would make you feel good?  Two examples (not new for us this year, but just ideas for you) - (1) I started giving an official Math Snack every morning, usually fruit and nuts or hot chocolate, which seems to make math just a wee bit less contentious, and (2) I stopped requiring DS to use an alarm and have let him sleep in later (still up before 7:00, but I wake him myself, and try to do it in some gentle/lovey/silly way).  Maybe taking everyone on a short walk to start the day would help?

 

Anyway - I understand the feelings, and hope you're all doing better very soon.

 

More hugs!

 

P.S.  Maybe you need to print the dancing bacons, write each kid's name on the belly, and leave them at the kids' places at the table.  Or make them wear them as nametags.  :)   Anything that makes you laugh will help!

[Haiku]

inexplicable dp 

 

Edited August 31, 2016 by Haiku

[Liz CA]

Perhaps shifting more responsibility onto the oldest's shoulders.

Would something like this work:

"Here is what you need to finish by the end of this week" (lay out material in each subject - page numbers, chapters, etc., projects, etc.).

Then let him schedule it. If he is lost, give some pointers with scheduling. I had to show my ds how to look at the whole and divide it into pieces to fit into the number of days he had to finish.

If certain things are not done by your deadline, he gets the appropriate grade. 14 is a good age to learn this since nothing too drastic will ensue if he fails at first.

 

For the younger one who hates school: Would giving him some options help as well? For example if he needs to learn algebra/math, it's not negotiable but can he have a say in the style of textbook he will be using or if he wants to take this class through a co-op, online, etc.?

[freesia]

This is the way I felt last year after a tough year the year before. But, Ds turned 15 last November, we outsourced and it was a much better year. Really good academically, actually. He's really gotten it together and is less lazy. I felt dread again this year (PTSD over his ninth grade year, maybe) but he's been at it for 3 days and got right into the groove. They do grow up.

 

I have an 11 year old like yours, too (do we have the same kids???LOL) No advice there. Except I refuse to be the audience anymore. I quietly count to 3 and then take away screen time or I send him to his room. I refuse to be tortured. He doesn't have to like school, just not punish me for it.

 

You can do this! One day at a time. Make sure that you take time to do something you like, too.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Probably my one "wish" would be to outsource writing.  The biggest thing is I don't want to spend the money on it. 

 

 

 

Hugs to you, Sparkly!

 

Regarding the bolded - BTDT, for sure.  I have told DS many, many times that I should not have to work harder than he does.  Mine is now a few months into 15, and things are much better.  Still not "college ready" or "mature," lol, but I'll take what I can get.  I really have been pleased with little things he does now that were fightin'-fodder last year.

 

Are you starting everything right out of the gate, or are you ramping up?  Sometimes I think we get more done, and better, when we ease back in.

 

Can you think of one thing to change that would make you feel good?  Two examples (not new for us this year, but just ideas for you) - (1) I started giving an official Math Snack every morning, usually fruit and nuts or hot chocolate, which seems to make math just a wee bit less contentious, and (2) I stopped requiring DS to use an alarm and have let him sleep in later (still up before 7:00, but I wake him myself, and try to do it in some gentle/lovey/silly way).  Maybe taking everyone on a short walk to start the day would help?

 

Anyway - I understand the feelings, and hope you're all doing better very soon.

 

More hugs!

 

P.S.  Maybe you need to print the dancing bacons, write each kid's name on the belly, and leave them at the kids' places at the table.  Or make them wear them as nametags.  :)   Anything that makes you laugh will help!

 

[G5052]

LOL. Every year is like that for me. Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Perpetual chaos on every front all year. 

 

Last year was the supreme of the supremes. A close relative died, and I was put in charge. Family members had four surgeries and months of P.T. I work full-time during the school year.

 

Summer hits, and we're all burned out to the max.

 

Then here is August and nearly September. We started school again two weeks ago to try to find our routine, but it's SOOO hard. We don't have it yet, and I wish I could just go on vacation again.

 

One foot in front of the other...

[nevergiveup]

Can you share homeschooling duties with another family?

You teach one subject; they teach another?

Sometimes kids benefit from a little outside competition.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Perhaps shifting more responsibility onto the oldest's shoulders.

Would something like this work:

"Here is what you need to finish by the end of this week" (lay out material in each subject - page numbers, chapters, etc., projects, etc.).

Then let him schedule it. If he is lost, give some pointers with scheduling. I had to show my ds how to look at the whole and divide it into pieces to fit into the number of days he had to finish.

If certain things are not done by your deadline, he gets the appropriate grade. 14 is a good age to learn this since nothing too drastic will ensue if he fails at first.

 

For the younger one who hates school: Would giving him some options help as well? For example if he needs to learn algebra/math, it's not negotiable but can he have a say in the style of textbook he will be using or if he wants to take this class through a co-op, online, etc.?

 

Well I have shifted a lot.  My problem is I feel like I don't have enough means to make sure he is doing the work.  I don't know how to deal with that part. 

 

I do give the younger one choices.  That doesn't work either. 

 

 

Edited August 31, 2016 by SparklyUnicorn

[SparklyUnicorn]

Can you share homeschooling duties with another family?

You teach one subject; they teach another?

Sometimes kids benefit from a little outside competition.

 

Nope.  Most of the homeschoolers I know are unschoolers.

[freesia]

Hugs to you, Sparkly!

 

Regarding the bolded - BTDT, for sure.  I have told DS many, many times that I should not have to work harder than he does.  Mine is now a few months into 15, and things are much better.  Still not "college ready" or "mature," lol, but I'll take what I can get.  I really have been pleased with little things he does now that were fightin'-fodder last year.

 

Are you starting everything right out of the gate, or are you ramping up?  Sometimes I think we get more done, and better, when we ease back in.

 

Can you think of one thing to change that would make you feel good?  Two examples (not new for us this year, but just ideas for you) - (1) I started giving an official Math Snack every morning, usually fruit and nuts or hot chocolate, which seems to make math just a wee bit less contentious, and (2) I stopped requiring DS to use an alarm and have let him sleep in later (still up before 7:00, but I wake him myself, and try to do it in some gentle/lovey/silly way).  Maybe taking everyone on a short walk to start the day would help?

 

Anyway - I understand the feelings, and hope you're all doing better very soon.

 

More hugs!

 

P.S.  Maybe you need to print the dancing bacons, write each kid's name on the belly, and leave them at the kids' places at the table.  Or make them wear them as nametags.  :)   Anything that makes you laugh will help!

We were posting at the same time. I totally agree with you. I only started ds 15 this week and only 4 subjects. I didn't try to start everything and all the kids bc I end up frazzled, frustrated and everyone has a bad attitude. Dh also always says that "they aren't finished yet (maturing(, that's why they are here for another few years.)

 

I love your math snacks!

 

OP: I know you don't want to spend the money on outsourcing, but it really changed the atmosphere around here. If we were going to continue and be a healthy home, that's what we needed to do. Consider putting money away for your ds11's high school. I doubt dd will need anything other than foreign languaged outsourced, but I refuse to teach an unwilling teenaged boy all his subjects anymore. I only do the ones that go well for us together (for us it's history, math and art this year)

[MEmama]

Ugh. Can I join your club?

 

This is the first year we haven't wanted to start school. At all. Last year wasn't the year I had envisioned (ahem, understatement) and this year is our final year homeschooling. I'm not sure why but I feel a tremendous amount of pressure knowing this is my last chance. We are dealing with some major health issues as well, and I'm sure that's contributing to my stress level.

 

We can't put off the inevitable past next Tuesday. Until then, I expect I'll be eating a lot of chocolate.

[freesia]

Ugh. Can I join your club?

 

This is the first year we haven't wanted to start school. At all. Last year wasn't the year I had envisioned (ahem, understatement) and this year is our final year homeschooling. I'm not sure why but I feel a tremendous amount of pressure knowing this is my last chance. We are dealing with some major health issues as well, and I'm sure that's contributing to my stress level.

 

We can't put off the inevitable past next Tuesday. Until then, I expect I'll be eating a lot of chocolate.

Sorry! Chocolate is good!

 

Make sure you do some of the things you enjoy the most about homeschooling this year. High school is a lot of pressure, no matter where you do it and you will want to have some fun before then.

[Anne in CA]

I always had a carrot and stick approach throughout middle school. There was a carrot for getting it done quickly and a stick if you didn't.  Middle schoolers (and I include 14yo's in this) are difficult. Somewhere inside that 14yo is a want/need for something. It's there. He can't have it until his school work is done. If it isn't done, no yummy food, no screen time, no whatever makes life nice. I know many people do not agree with this homeschool approach. It was the only one that worked for me.

 

My youngest has put me through the wringer this year. But her PSAT score is nearly perfect. I know that is from years of home schooling. I just need to keep from killing her, because colleges are already sending her letters. There IS light at the end of this tunnel. I really promise.

[Rachel]

Probably my one "wish" would be to outsource writing. The biggest thing is I don't want to spend the money on it.

I got an email today that WTM academy is enrolling for the writing class. That doesn't solve not wanting to pay for it, but the cost may outweigh the dread you have right now.

[Liz CA]

Well I have shifted a lot.  My problem is I feel like I don't have enough means to make sure he is doing the work.  I don't know how to deal with that part. 

 

I do give the younger one choices.  That doesn't work either. 

 

We did loss of privileges. For example, if he likes to play computer games, time to do so could be restricted until all school work is done in an acceptable manner.

Or friends will not come over or ds will not go to their house until work is completed, etc.

Hit him where it "hurts." This way, he will likely adjust faster. It may sound harsh but he has a choice to get his work done and have no negative consequences at all OR he can choose to procrastinate and suffer the consequences. I always laid the whole thing out right at the beginning...this is what is expected...this happens if you don't follow through. Of course, allowances can be made in extenuating circumstances up to your discretion.

 

This puts the responsibility for his behavior on him, not you and should take some stress off you.

[SparklyUnicorn]

We did loss of privileges. For example, if he likes to play computer games, time to do so could be restricted until all school work is done in an acceptable manner.

Or friends will not come over or ds will not go to their house until work is completed, etc.

Hit him where it "hurts." This way, he will likely adjust faster. It may sound harsh but he has a choice to get his work done and have no negative consequences at all OR he can choose to procrastinate and suffer the consequences. I always laid the whole thing out right at the beginning...this is what is expected...this happens if you don't follow through. Of course, allowances can be made in extenuating circumstances up to your discretion.

 

This puts the responsibility for his behavior on him, not you and should take some stress off you.

 

 

There really is nothing to take away from him.  He's a good kid.  He doesn't completely sluff off.

 

I dunno.  For example, I used to read all the books I assigned.  That is becoming quite difficult for me to keep up with these days so if I assign a book to read I have no clue if he actually read it.  He says he did, but how do I know?  I suspect the more I'd just assign stuff without our daily discussions about the stuff the less he'd do.  And then I use a lot of books that aren't traditional textbooks.  I used to just read them all and we'd discuss.  Now it's just too much. 

 

I probably should pick other books.  It's just hard letting go of wanting this to be different than a traditional classroom.  Does that make sense?

 

I considered enrolling him an on-line school, but I hate this idea too.  He's taking a class at the CC (he took one last semester).  He did great and did the work.  I really can't afford to pay for a bunch of CC courses though. 

Edited August 31, 2016 by SparklyUnicorn

[nevergiveup]

I eventually had to let go of what I had once thought was important.

I initially tried to duplicate the brick and mortar schools--strict structure, comparable subjects.

It did not work.  I let some subjects go.  I knew neither of my children wanted to attend college--not that they couldn't:  they adamantly did not want to go.

College is always there.  When one decides a direction to take in life, it is amazing how quickly one can acquire the knowledge/skills/motivation necessary to accomplish that goal.

 

Can you gear his education more to what he eventually wants to become?

[SparklyUnicorn]

I eventually had to let go of what I had once thought was important.

I initially tried to duplicate the brick and mortar schools--strict structure, comparable subjects.

It did not work.  I let some subjects go.  I knew neither of my children wanted to attend college--not that they couldn't:  they adamantly did not want to go.

College is always there.  When one decides a direction to take in life, it is amazing how quickly one can acquire the knowledge/skills/motivation necessary to accomplish that goal.

 

Can you gear his education more to what he eventually wants to become?

 

Well my fear is I'm not being rigorous enough.  He wants to study electrical engineering and the plan is to graduate him early.   So this isn't so much about letting go of stuff but freaking out if he is getting what he needs.  I feel like I have more control if I'm constantly on top of everything and it's frazzling me. 

For awhile I felt like I knew what I was doing, but this just feels like whole new territory. But then why?  If what I was doing all along has worked out well, why not keep doing it?  Right? 

[KungFuPanda]

I am LIMPING to the finish line.  I've got one kid off on her second year of college and my only student is my 10th grade DS.  I loved homeschooling . . . but NOT high school.  This kid needs a teacher right there for half his subjects.  Unlike the lower grades, High School takes a legitimate "school day" to do.  No more 3 hour school days in my life :-(  We're easing into it.  Today we began our second subject.  All of the subjects we do at home will be up and running when our Co-op begins.  I'm just grateful I'm not teaching him Science this year.  It nearly killed me last year.  

 

I'm tired.  I'm old.  I'm cranky because I'm sick today and THAT wasn't on the calendar. I'm a little over it all.  Year 15 is starting with a whimper.  I have senioritis two years early!

[SparklyUnicorn]

I am LIMPING to the finish line.  I've got one kid off on her second year of college and my only student is my 10th grade DS.  I loved homeschooling . . . but NOT high school.  This kid needs a teacher right there for half his subjects.  Unlike the lower grades, High School takes a legitimate "school day" to do.  No more 3 hour school days in my life :-(  We're easing into it.  Today we began our second subject.  All of the subjects we do at home will be up and running when our Co-op begins.  I'm just grateful I'm not teaching him Science this year.  It nearly killed me last year.  

 

I'm tired.  I'm old.  I'm cranky because I'm sick today and THAT wasn't on the calendar. I'm a little over it all.  Year 15 is starting with a whimper.  I have senioritis two years early!

 

Well this oddly makes me feel better!

[mamiof5]

Sorry you are feeling blah. Hope it gets better. Have you heard about Khan academy? I haven't tried them myself, but have heard they are free. Maybe they offer writing??

[Another Lynn]

My oldest has done the last 3 years of high school in a brick/mortar school, but in hindsight I have often thought making him get a job would have been a great idea.  Maybe he has to be 15 (I'm not sure), but I think a job could motivate a greater appreciation for school tasks, and inspire a bigger picture view of the world and what long term goals he would like to set.  (And then he could pay for writing class.   :D )

 

Other than that, I've got hugs.   :grouphug:   I'm outsourcing more than I ever thought I would because I just cannot make every person do every subject to it's fullest without some outside accountability, etc.  

[Janeway]

With my 12 yr old who gives me grief, I have had to change everything up. I have to sit with him a lot, be unschooly in a lot. Sigh. But, it is working.

[Guest]

No advice. Just hugs and sympathy. Dd- almost 14- can give me the exact same feeling you describe and can sometimes suck all enthusiasm from the house. Hearing it gets better around 15 is encouraging.

[Scarlett]

Well my fear is I'm not being rigorous enough. He wants to study electrical engineering and the plan is to graduate him early. So this isn't so much about letting go of stuff but freaking out if he is getting what he needs. I feel like I have more control if I'm constantly on top of everything and it's frazzling me.

For awhile I felt like I knew what I was doing, but this just feels like whole new territory. But then why? If what I was doing all along has worked out well, why not keep doing it? Right?

This is where I think using the state charter/k12 helped us. Math. Ds has received an excellent math education. I would have definitely had to outsource if we had been independent .

[prairiewindmomma]

Are you taking care of you? Dry well, and all that.

 

We have year after relentless year of chaos. I dream of the yellow bus but reality is that this is good for my family and we're staying in for at least the next eight years, and likely thirteen.

 

I finally decided this year that some of my things got to be priorities. My time with a trainer at the gym can disrupt a schedule. I am waking up an hour earlier for quiet time. I am dragging my dh out for weekly dates. I am doing what I need to do to deal with the suckier aspects of life, and that's ok.

[Arcadia]

For awhile I felt like I knew what I was doing, but this just feels like whole new territory. But then why?  If what I was doing all along has worked out well, why not keep doing it?  Right?

 

  

:grouphug:

Because it is probably the new to high school homeschooling panic. Electrical engineering would be close to your husband's major right? So your husband can step up and mentor.

 

My kids are not impressed with the long overtime hours that my electrical engineering husband is putting in during busy seasons. He is giving engineering a bad name :lol:

 

This is where I think using the state charter/k12 helped us. Math. Ds has received an excellent math education. I would have definitely had to outsource if we had been independent .

I think OP's son is already going to exceed K12's math offerings. K12 has nothing beyond AP Calc BC. He is already dual enrolled for math at 8th grade.

[Jaybee]

My son is enjoying American Correspondence School's writing courses. I don't know how much the individual courses cost (because I'm too lazy to look it up right now), but the whole high school course isn't very expensive. He does it and I don't have anything to do with it. :) Sometimes when boys hit 13 and after, they just are not as responsive to the mom as teacher. A generalization, I admit, but I've seen it around a bit.

[Scarlett]

 

:grouphug:

Because it is probably the new to high school homeschooling panic. Electrical engineering would be close to your husband's major right? So your husband can step up and mentor.

 

My kids are not impressed with the long overtime hours that my electrical engineering husband is putting in during busy seasons. He is giving engineering a bad name :lol:

 

I think OP's son is already going to exceed K12's math offerings. K12 has nothing beyond AP Calc BC. He is already dual enrolled for math at 8th grade.

Wait. Dual enrolled for what? And if he has finished all of equivalent K 12s math by 8 th grade why are you stressing Wendy?

[LucyStoner]

Would your older son benefit from reading the Teenage Liberation Handbook? https://www.amazon.com/Teenage-Liberation-Handbook-School-Education/dp/0962959170

It's more homeschooling friendly than it might sound. He has the basics and then some down. It's time for the ball to be in his court, with his goals in mind and him hurting no one but himself f he is not making progress on the goals he sets. Perhaps he could volunteer or set up some internships?

Edited September 1, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Shred Betty]

Nope. Most of the homeschoolers I know are unschoolers.

In this day and age, why couldn't you use Skype free and do coop remotely with another family you "know" and trust from anywhere, or from this forum? *remember kids, never give out your personal information online * 😂

[eternalsummer]

I think this is a very normal age for difficulty in the mom/son relationship - in many tribal societies, this is the age where they go into the wilderness and kill an alligator and join the men's tent.  They are just almost ready to not be subject to women's authority anymore.

 

I know outsourcing is sometimes really expensive, and especially especially with writing, but I would really seriously consider it.

[Liz CA]

There really is nothing to take away from him.  He's a good kid.  He doesn't completely sluff off.

 

I dunno.  For example, I used to read all the books I assigned.  That is becoming quite difficult for me to keep up with these days so if I assign a book to read I have no clue if he actually read it.  He says he did, but how do I know?  I suspect the more I'd just assign stuff without our daily discussions about the stuff the less he'd do.  And then I use a lot of books that aren't traditional textbooks.  I used to just read them all and we'd discuss.  Now it's just too much. 

 

I probably should pick other books.  It's just hard letting go of wanting this to be different than a traditional classroom.  Does that make sense?

 

I considered enrolling him an on-line school, but I hate this idea too.  He's taking a class at the CC (he took one last semester).  He did great and did the work.  I really can't afford to pay for a bunch of CC courses though. 

 

I did not read every book either. But I had my ds write a brief summary about the book. You could also have him answer the W questions, who, where, what, why. You can always check out a summary of the book online to see if he totally fabricated everything but since he seems a level-headed guy, he probably would not.

 

Why do you dislike the online school/classes option? Do you feel you are letting homeschooling slip if you do? My ds attended a lot of community college classes while we still homeschooled and he loved the variety and the new people he met. If there had been more online classes back then, we'd probably would have tried those as well.

You are still educating him, you are still making choices - increasingly with his input which may motivate him. It's still good.  :)

[nevergiveup]

Well my fear is I'm not being rigorous enough.  He wants to study electrical engineering and the plan is to graduate him early.   So this isn't so much about letting go of stuff but freaking out if he is getting what he needs.  I feel like I have more control if I'm constantly on top of everything and it's frazzling me. 

For awhile I felt like I knew what I was doing, but this just feels like whole new territory. But then why?  If what I was doing all along has worked out well, why not keep doing it?  Right? 

Is there a reason he needs to graduate early?

Can you slow down, pursue more extra-curricular activities?  (sorry--I don't know what he currently does)

How does he know he wants to be an electrical engineer?  Can you have him shadow one for awhile to see what he/she does?

Edited September 1, 2016 by nevergiveup

[....]

We have issues with this time of year...  Every fall, we start off with our grandiose plans and curriculum.  And it looks great on paper!  It's Week 5 here and our homeschool has already imploded.  

 

8 year-old is basically unschooling.  All she wants to do is play chess, do math and read about The Avengers.  The other kids are starting to run from the room when they see her approach with the chess set.  The 14 year-old finally downloaded a game so she can play against the computer.  Whew!  Thanks, Computer!   :D

 

Yesterday, I finally threw 11 year-old's super-duper math curriculum that covers every math topic known to mankind out the window.  Honestly, I didn't feel like looking at her math anymore, either.  She was right.  It WAS boring!  Why can't math be more like what we do with literature and history??  Why does everyone have to make it so boring!  Anyway, we are going to do living math together.  Even I'm excited.

 

9th grader and 8th grader have already strayed from AO's Year 7.  We found a rabbit trail, took off on it and now we can't find our way back.  That darn presidential election...   :glare:

 

We are having a rough start, too.  I'm sorry you guys are having a hard week!!  And my 14 year-old is lazy, also!  (and my 13 year-old and sometimes my husband)  And you guys probably did need that break over the summer.  We took the summer off, too - for the first time in 7-8 years.  I'm sure it helped, even thought it didn't seem to...  Outsourcing is a great idea, but that would be a stretch for us financially, too.  No one has co-ops for our weird gifted kids who want to do nothing but play chess and compare presidential candidates.   :tongue_smilie:    

 

I hope next week goes more smoothly for you!

[Acadie]

Why graduate him early? Sounds like his academic progress makes this possible, but will he be emotionally ready for college? Are all subject areas college ready, or could he delve into non specialty areas that would make him more well-rounded as a person? Would letting go the idea of early graduation give you both a little breathing room?

 

I'm sure early graduation works well for some, but I don't get it!  Both my kids are ahead of the norm in certain areas, but not in all. That matches my experience as a college student and newly-minted grad, sophisticated in my understanding and skill in some areas, but very rudimentary in others.

 

It makes me wonder--are there kids who are holistically ready for college early? Are some kids really better off fast-forwarding through the late adolescent/early college years and moving into adult/professional life early? Or does the extension of adolescence that is possible in our culture offer different benefits for different kids, all of whom need development in some areas?

 

I realize this could just extend your dilemma, and not help at all, but it could be one way to decrease the pressure.

 

Amy

 

 

 

 

[regentrude]

I'm sure early graduation works well for some, but I don't get it!  Both my kids are ahead of the norm in certain areas, but not in all. That matches my experience as a college student and newly-minted grad, sophisticated in my understanding and skill in some areas, but very rudimentary in others.

 

It makes me wonder--are there kids who are holistically ready for college early? Are some kids really better off fast-forwarding through the late adolescent/early college years and moving into adult/professional life early? Or does the extension of adolescence that is possible in our culture offer different benefits for different kids, all of whom need development in some areas?

 

This is getting off topic, I apologize to the OP, but had to comment on this:

 

To the bolded: yes, there absolutely are. When your kid tutors calc based physics at the university as a 15 y/o and wins first place in the undergraduate research competition in the humanities division as a 16 y/o, it really makes no sense to keep them in high school until the arbitrary age of 18.

 

Keep in mind that these kids don't just fast forward "through late adolescence". Many highly gifted kids have fast forwarded through their entire school time. They don't suddenly begin to accelerate; they have been several years ahead of their same age peer cohort since elementary age, often both in terms of academic ability and maturity. Why should 18 be the magic age?

Edited September 1, 2016 by regentrude

[regentrude]

Sparkly, not much advice here, but I wanted to let you know that 14/15 was rough with my DS. Things got a lot better at 17.

The most important thing for us, I believe, was that he felt we listened to him, took his goals seriously, and tailored school to accommodate all his work towards that goal, even though that was not our original academic plan.

Outsourcing is magical. He works diligently for his outside instructors; I cannot get the same results for home taught classes. I think this is normal.

I had phases every now and then when I was very unhappy with how our schooling went, and I thought I suck at this. What helped was to make a list of all the things he did accomplish, and to see that, while maybe not what I had envisioned, it was not to shabby.

 

For your 11 y/o: at that age, with no constraints from college admissions looming, you can do a lot of interest based learning. In 5th-7th grade, I found that homeschooling could be a lot of fun (much more than in hs). What does he want to study? Why does he dislike the things he does?

[mschickie]

I know exactly how you feel.  I have been there and done that in am doing some of it again.

 

Just know you are doing enough for his future career plans.  You are teaching him the skills of how to learn, he will get everything else he needs in college.  Focus on making sure his SAT/ACT scores are good, that is often the key for getting into a good engineering school.

 

 

As for knowing if he is reading the literature you assigned have you seen the book 150 Great Books by Bonnie  A. Helms?  It has quizzes for 150 different books.  Choose your books from there and have him complete the quiz when he is done.  You can often find short quizzes on line too.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

This is where I think using the state charter/k12 helped us. Math. Ds has received an excellent math education. I would have definitely had to outsource if we had been independent .

 

I would try it for sure if it didn't cost a zillion dollars.  It's not free in our state.  I think the cheapest option is 12K a year. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I know exactly how you feel.  I have been there and done that in am doing some of it again.

 

Just know you are doing enough for his future career plans.  You are teaching him the skills of how to learn, he will get everything else he needs in college.  Focus on making sure his SAT/ACT scores are good, that is often the key for getting into a good engineering school.

 

 

As for knowing if he is reading the literature you assigned have you seen the book 150 Great Books by Bonnie  A. Helms?  It has quizzes for 150 different books.  Choose your books from there and have him complete the quiz when he is done.  You can often find short quizzes on line too.  

 

I have that book!  Hah. 

 

Well today he told me about the book he is reading and I hadn't even asked.  He definitely is reading it. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Why graduate him early? Sounds like his academic progress makes this possible, but will he be emotionally ready for college? Are all subject areas college ready, or could he delve into non specialty areas that would make him more well-rounded as a person? Would letting go the idea of early graduation give you both a little breathing room?

 

I'm sure early graduation works well for some, but I don't get it!  Both my kids are ahead of the norm in certain areas, but not in all. That matches my experience as a college student and newly-minted grad, sophisticated in my understanding and skill in some areas, but very rudimentary in others.

 

It makes me wonder--are there kids who are holistically ready for college early? Are some kids really better off fast-forwarding through the late adolescent/early college years and moving into adult/professional life early? Or does the extension of adolescence that is possible in our culture offer different benefits for different kids, all of whom need development in some areas?

 

I realize this could just extend your dilemma, and not help at all, but it could be one way to decrease the pressure.

 

Amy

 

There are various reasons I'm heavily considering it.  That's at least 2 years away so of course stuff could change.  He would be at home and going to a CC down the street (then transfer after 2 years).  He has already taken a class there and is taking another one now.  Given the hand holding they do there I hardly see the difference between that and high school.  A bit more rigorous in terms of the workload, but I do think he could handle it and it wouldn't be so different than high school.  I wouldn't graduate him and send him away to a 4 year school.  That would be something very different I think and I agree he probably would not be emotionally ready.  Although he's always been a pretty serious person. 

 

I think most of the issues are just my worries.  I'm a worrier. 

 

[catz]

I have to say age 11-14 were the worst for my kids. I think my son grew a foot during that time and no wonder he was an unmotivated air head. Seriously. It got so much better for him at 15. They all have their own time tables for puberty but it's no wonder to me that middle school is an attitude and academic wasteland. My daughter is newly 12 and I fully anticipate this year will be a wash for her. Lol. I'm trying to find a sense of zen about it.

 

I'm outsourcing more and more too.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I have to say age 11-14 were the worst for my kids. I think my son grew a foot during that time and no wonder he was an unmotivated air head. Seriously. It got so much better for him at 15. They all have their own time tables for puberty but it's no wonder to me that middle school is an attitude and academic wasteland. My daughter is newly 12 and I fully anticipate this year will be a wash for her. Lol. I'm trying to find a sense of zen about it.

 

I'm outsourcing more and more too.

 

Oh yeah I think he is getting better.  That is for sure.  He'll be 15 in January.  At around 12...holy hell.  That was not a fun time.