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Do you think this would effect an individual's employability?


Daria
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Didn't someone already say red contacts were hard to see with? Wouldn't working back stage wearing contacts possibly mean working in a dark area? That sounds like an extra challenge at work.

 

Real fangs, I would probably accidentally stab myself a lot. Ever bite your lip? I think a lot of us do it unconsciously.

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I wanted a tattoo in my 20s, right until I realized everyone else was getting one to be "original."  It ain't original if we're all doing it!  And the bloom came off the idea.  Now I'm an unmarked weirdo.

 

I wonder if there's a movie from the '90s where someone makes irreversible modifications and has to deal with the cold, cruel world?  That could make it all passé for him. 

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I believe that he is going to find some back alley individual who works cheap to do the work.  Perhaps he will negotiate a trade for some video game loot.  

 

 

He's asking for tetanus and a LOT of pain.

 

And an inability to eat much of anything at all once some hack with a saw blade works over his teeth.

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Well, maybe the blood bank would hire the vampire. :D I couldn't resist.

 

I'd be worried that the vamp would be cherry-picking and skimming off profits.  Kinda like Lucy and Ethel working in the chocolate shop....

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If he goes through with this incredibly foolish idea, there might be some hope for it not to be a disaster (if he escapes dental and health damage).

 

I'm acquainted with a young man that I encounter regularly where he works -- who has extremely unusual teeth. He has short, blunt, even teeth across the front, combined with very prominent sharp canines. They are not vampire-excessive in length, but definitely noticeable. (They canines might not be actually unusual. They might only appear so because his front teeth are unusually short... Or, on the other hand, the inverse might be true.)

 

In all this time, it has never occurred to me to wonder if he had created that look on purpose.

 

I'm an ordinary customer, and all I've ever thought is, "Gee, he has kind of unusual teeth." -- and kinda wondered about braces, or a need for them, or a dental injury, or just the variety of dental 'looks' that people have and whether they need correction.

 

So, if he does need to drop the contacts and pursue a more appearance-normal job, he will probably be able to. People will 'notice' but they won't automatically think of him as creepy and unemployable without additional cues that his teeth are cosmetic/intentional.

Edited by bolt.
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Honestly the teeth can be fixed too.  Lots of people break teeth and have them repaired. or worst case senerio, he can get them capped.   I would suggest that he save the money to have them put back to normal along with the cost to file them. 

 

If he is going to work with the public, he will have a harder time, but if he gets a job at a call center or other similar establishment they may not care at all. 

 

 

A serious note regarding the teeth:  if ANYTHING goes wrong with the filing (or afterwards) it can lead to the removal or loss of one or more teeth.  This is NOT to be taken lightly just because dentists can do something to hide the damage.

 

I know someone who has had to wear dentures since a young age because of mistakes he made in his youth.  He has a lot less mandible (lower jaw) than he did when he was younger.  Without teeth IN THE SOCKETS the bone isn't stimulated in the jaw.  When the jawbone isn't stimulated it atrophies, slowly dissolves away.

 

Does he want to risk having "old Gramps" jaw by age 30?  Start that kind of deterioration young enough and by the time he reaches retirement age he won't have dentures, crowns, or anything else because he won't have enough jaw left to support them.

 

Baby food does not make an appealing permanent diet.  And it certainly doesn't say "fear me!  I will suck your blood!"

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This would be my concern.  I would tell him that he'd better get hired somewhere with good dental insurance. 

 

Insurance companies might call the modified teeth a "preexisting condition" and decline to cover any problems that could be blamed on the modifications.

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OP, let your elf curious child know that the ears are a symptom of Fragile X syndrome. Geezle has elfy ears and had to have genetic testing to rule it out. It's other effects are often autism and intellectual disability.

 

I will let him know.  Elf-curious child has been raised by a special educator, so it might not occur to him that some people would think that ID and autism are bad associations.  

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He told me this morning that he is planning to work in tech theater, and that it is "dark backstage" so people will not notice. 

 

I am also quite curious about the opinions of the "employers, with or without children" special interest group.

Oh! In my younger days I was in professional theatre and a bit in film. I still hold an Equity card, but my SAG expired ages ago. So... if that is the look he wants then the answer is...

 

It will still negatively affect his employment chances. I can tell you with utmost certainty that there is a definite line that you can't cross in tech and that is: nothing can ever impede safety nor affect the stage. They'll tolerate a of diversity in looks, but film and stage people live and die by their looks. If you think weirdness will get you the job over 10 other equally as qualified techies (or actors), you're very sadly misled. Has he ever worked professional theatre or film? Has he SEEN how positively VANILLA most of the people are!! Tatts and piercings sure -- that's bourgeois mainstream anymore. You can absolutely be a weirdo in theatre and film. Just don't look like one. You're shooting your career right in the face.

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I was a theatre technician and stage manager. In my opinion tattoos are fine and possibly the teeth at the right alternative venue but not the contacts or other majorly obvious things. If contacts are going to make it hard to see then he would be next to useless in the dark of backstage. Some venues would not tolerate an alternative look at all and some would, but having that look would likely limit working in the higher end better paid venues.

 

The other thing is you come into contact with a constant stream of different people in theatre so the idea that no one will notice is rubbish.

Edited by lailasmum
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I asked my 17 year old and he laughed. He said it definitely would effect employment, was probably dangerous, and having anyone other than a skilled dentist doing it was dumb and asking for trouble. And he's a 17 year old boy, (and a pain in my butt, NOT a people pleaser) so not the mom demographic. 

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We employ a lot of young people at our vet hospital. We have about a dozen employees at any one time. Over a dozen years, we've probably employed 40+ people, due to pretty high turnover with our entry level staff (lots of undergrad college kids who move on). 

 

We would NEVER even give someone with that appearance (or any part of it) an interview (if we saw them when they handed in an application), let alone hire them for any position whatsoever. Nope, no way.

 

And, FWIW, we are uber liberal socially and politically, etc. If I met an odd appearing person like that personally, I would do my best not to judge. (While wondering in my head what was wrong with them . . .) I certainly wouldn't refuse to sell you a widget if you had vampire teeth. Nor would I refuse to rent you a house (although plenty of people would, I am sure). 

 

But, we run a business, serving the public, with thousands of clients. We choose employees who present a professional, not startling, appearance. Our employees need to project a positive, welcoming, friendly, safe, reliable vibe. Our clients need to trust us, and our employees are required to project an appearance that invites trust. Our clients need to be able to focus on their own needs, their pets' needs, and they don't need to be wondering about whether our staff is trustworthy or not. 

 

We have liberal clients and we have conservative ones. We have crazy ones and we have sane ones. We have plenty who wouldn't have a problem with a vampire staff member, but certainly most would at least be distracted and have some negative association with our practice if we had a vampire employee. And some smaller subset would find it objectionable enough to choose a different provider or just to not recommend us to their friends, etc. 

 

We don't allow those big gages or visible tattoos either. (And I have 2 tattoos, and dh has one.) If you want to work for us, you have to look like an ordinary, friendly, safe, not shocking or startling, person. If you want to make a statement with your appearance, you can do it, but you can't do it while working for us (so you'd have to be able to hide/remove your oddness while on the clock, and you better do that before coming in for the application/interview, or you'll never work for us, as we don't invite trouble by knowingly hiring people with problems that we'll have to negotiate/monitor). 

 

Clearly, appearance issues related to protected classes and/or medical or disability issues aren't what I'm talking about. We are an Equal Opportunity employer on all fronts, including classes that are not protected in our state such as gender/sexuality/etc. We're proud to take the chance that an asshole client might not like that we have a gay employee or a black employee. We are proud to "take one for the team" and lose a few clients who might prefer only straight, white, thin employees . . . but, we're not taking one for the "vampire teeth" or "quarter sized holes in ears" or "tattoos on my face to make me look like a cat" teams. You want to look unusual for your own reasons, but that's not my problem and it's not going to be my business's problem either.

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No, I believe what he's after is a reaction from his mother.

 

Ah, then don't give him one. Or, give him one that is so embarrassing that he never dares bring it up again. Someone upthread suggested that you embrace the ideas and start dressing vampire-style yourself. I would absolutely do something like that. Then, I would make sure to be looking like that everywhere I go that I might possibly run into anyone who knows him. And, I would be so completely gregarious and chatty, too. I wouldn't want anyone who knows him to miss my new look, you know!

 

I would probably stop doing the vampire thing about a month or two after I was sure he was completely and utterly mortified.

 

Maybe. ;)

Edited by Audrey
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Ah, then don't give him one. Or, give him one that is so embarrassing that he never dares bring it up again. Someone upthread suggested that you embrace the ideas and start dressing vampire-style yourself. I would absolutely do something like that. Then, I would make sure to be looking like that everywhere I go that I might possibly run into anyone who knows him. And, I would be so completely gregarious and chatty, too. I wouldn't want anyone who knows him to miss my new look, you know!

 

I would probably stop doing the vampire thing about a month or two after I was sure he was completely and utterly mortified.

 

Maybe. ;)

You and I parent very differently.

 

Why would I mortify my son? He likes to "argue" about silly things. He thinks it's funny. He's the one who suggested asking you all. It's all in jest.

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I think they will find employment with locations that don't go for the tongue/lip/eyebrow/etc. piercings and neon colored hair problematic.  that's a pretty narrow field.

yes - it will affect employment.  employers, especially if the employee is dealing with clients, hire people who will represent their business to the public in such a way the public will spend money at their business.  that's how business works.

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Ah, then don't give him one. Or, give him one that is so embarrassing that he never dares bring it up again. 

 

My nephew showed up with his hair dyed red and long enough for a pony tail. I immediately asked him if it bugged his mom . . . big smile as he said "yeah".  

 

I do smile at the mom who noticed her son was enjoying getting sent to the principles office.  that he and his buddy were making a game of it - even though she'd be called to come down every single time.  so - she turned the tables on him. found him at his locker afterwards and (in front of girls!  gasp)  gave him a smoochy kiss and how she was so glad she could rush right down there - implying she would have come even if she'd had rollers in her hair.  she was never called to the principals office again.

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Yes, it would. Red contacts and pointy fake teeth are things one can take in and out before work and interviews. Unless one wants work in a vampire themed establishment, those fashion choices or permanent alterations to your teeth aren't going to help one secure most entry level work.

 

I have friends who are very successful and very "goth" in their appearance. But they all seem to grasp that there's a time and a place for everything and tone down for work. Also, it is the entry level jobs where you have the LEAST control over your dress and presentation. For example, I have a friend who is a very successful writer. How she can dress and present herself now is very different than when she needed the research assistantship at a publisher nearly 20 years ago.

Edited by LucyStoner
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You and I parent very differently.

 

Why would I mortify my son? He likes to "argue" about silly things. He thinks it's funny. He's the one who suggested asking you all. It's all in jest.

Ah. Well... you see... You and I post differently, too. I thought you were asking a serious question about a real thing that was happening with your kid. I didn't realize the thread was just dinner table entertainment for you and your son. You should have said you were pulling a fast one on the board up front. That would have been the polite thing to do.

 

My answer still stands. Because it's funny and fun to go around being silly, which is something I employ frequently in my parenting (and my posting -- but I also let people know I'm just pulling their leg. You know... so they're IN on the joke, not the butt of it).

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Ah. Well... you see... You and I post differently, too. I thought you were asking a serious question about a real thing that was happening with your kid. I didn't realize the thread was just dinner table entertainment for you and your son. You should have said you were pulling a fast one on the board up front. That would have been the polite thing to do.

 

My answer still stands. Because it's funny and fun to go around being silly, which is something I employ frequently in my parenting (and my posting -- but I also let people know I'm just pulling their leg. You know... so they're IN on the joke, not the butt of it).

I'm sorry, I thought the light tone of my original post was clear, but perhaps it wasn't. Please accept my apology.

 

Having said that, even if I was seriously concerned about my child making poor medical decisions, I wouldn't use mortification as an intervention.

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I'm sorry, I thought the light tone of my original post was clear, but perhaps it wasn't. Please accept my apology.

 

Having said that, even if I was seriously concerned about my child making poor medical decisions, I wouldn't use mortification as an intervention.

 

Darla, I think you are being quite mean to Audrey. 

 

She posted a light hearted solution that, if your original query had been sincere, was certainly not a cruel or unloving approach. You essentially baited us, and then you "smacked" Audrey when she replied. Not nice. Not nice at all. You owe her a real apology, IMHO.

 

I am irritated that you essentially used us as entertainment without letting us in on your joke. This board is interesting and helpful because many thoughtful people here take time to offer sincere answers to other's queries. That doesn't work well if boardies can't safely assume that a query by another member is a sincere question vs a troll-type query. In the future, I suggest you avoid these sorts of posts or clearly mark them as "This isn't real, but just for giggles . . . WWYD . . ." or similar. I certainly wouldn't have read further, or bothered posting, if I'd known your post was utterly made-up with no real-world significance. I'd like my 10 minutes back, please.

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I re-read the OP, and I think the content is quite clear that she was chatting with her teen, and each of them expressed the opinion that such hypothetical cosmetics (would / would not) effect future employment. They were then curious about the WTM thoughts about it.

 

Her post did not read that her teen was in crisis, nor that was he was fully intending to do this, nor that she needed anyone's help. She implied curiosity, not difficulty. There is noting wrong with sincere curiosity! People use the board for that too.

Edited by bolt.
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I re-read the OP, and I think the content is quite clear that she was chatting with her teen, and each of them expressed the opinion that such hypothetical cosmetics (would / would not) effect future employment. They were then curious about the WTM thoughts about it.

 

Her post did not read that her teen was in crisis, nor that was he was fully intending to do this, nor that she needed anyone's help. She said she was curious. There is noting wrong with sincere curiosity!

 

I think that's fine, and I also was under the impression that it wasn't some terrible looming problem, but I was under the impression that it was serious in the sense that it was a real difference of opinion/reflected the views of the person in question. 

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I didn't think her child was going to get evaluations for surgery (or whatever you call it) anytime soon, but I was unsure if he seriously didn't see how it could affect employment.

 

Cruel or unloving is so subjective. Just the other day the radio station asked people if you're a "horrible parent" if you drop your kids off at their grandparents' house every.single.weekend. Of course opinions are all over the place.

 

So, no, I don't think everyone will be receptive to suggestions like "go dressed up like a vampire to the mall and say hi to his friends." So many different parenting styles and personal opinions to take into account. Just like some people are appalled by public shaming (having child hold up a sign saying what they did wrong) and others will cheer on the parent that chose that punishment.

 

I did feel like this thread was a little misleading as to how serious her son was about body modification. I can understand the irritation there.

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From a practical standpoint, those red contact lenses make vision a little unclear which can be a liability or safety hazard for an employer.  They also don't let as much oxygen pass into your eye compared to normal lenses which can cause pain, dry eye problems and infection. I think the contacts can be used outside of work, though. The teeth are really giving me pause though. Something drastically permanent like that would look very foolish in an interview, especially combined with the red contact lenses. I think employment would be really hard to come by. Maybe some less drastic outside-the-norm things like an ear piercing or a tattoo in a subtle place??? 

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I'm sorry, I thought the light tone of my original post was clear, but perhaps it wasn't. Please accept my apology.

 

Having said that, even if I was seriously concerned about my child making poor medical decisions, I wouldn't use mortification as an intervention.

 

And yet you didn't correct a single one of us who was genuinely concerned for the health of your son or his long-term employability.  But as soon as someone gave an answer that you did not agree with, it was all a big joke.  Please don't waste our time in the future. 

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For the same reason we waste our time on ANY thread here. We're putting off any real work that needs to get done in the real world.

 

That might be why I waste my time on the Forum Game thread here or another lighthearted thread.  But I mostly post here asking for real answers on curriculum and parenting and recipes etc.  And I provide real answers to questions.  I also post on threads like the Ignore this Thread because people have become genuine friends.  I do have very good face to face friends but I do not have the opportunities to interact with them much and this is an important social outlet for me.  It is not just a meaningless time suck.  This thread masqueraded as a real question on parenting a teenager making life choices that could impact him far into the future. 

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For the same reason we waste our time on ANY thread here. We're putting off any real work that needs to get done in the real world.

 

Well... some of us are posting on here at the moment because we're sitting in a screened in porch, listening to the wind blow waves up on shore and delaying cleaning the place prior to my in-law's arrival.  (MIL has Alzheimers, so it's helpful to clean their cottage prior to her arrival.)  It's kinda peaceful procrastinating regardless of the thread.  I mean, if I were just sitting here I'd feel the need to get up and get working, but since there's something semi-useful I can be writing, there's no problem waiting another half hour or so, right?

 

And I'll admit I'm glad there's going to be one less young adult who has done such a thing and then wondering why many won't consider giving him a high paying job, so there's that plus.

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On a much more serious note I think no one is truly considering the obvious. Are you an elf or a vampire? I mean you need to make a decision and stick with it. Millennials these days...   :bigear:

 

As a Millennial, I think you're way too closed-minded. Interracial(? - are vampires and elves races?) marriage and their offspring should be just fine. Long live vampire elfs! (well, at least until they starve from being unable to secure a job)

 

You should have made this a poll.  I've never seen a poll with 100% agreement.  

 

It's not too late.

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That might be why I waste my time on the Forum Game thread here or another lighthearted thread. But I mostly post here asking for real answers on curriculum and parenting and recipes etc. And I provide real answers to questions. I also post on threads like the Ignore this Thread because people have become genuine friends. I do have very good face to face friends but I do not have the opportunities to interact with them much and this is an important social outlet for me. It is not just a meaningless time suck. This thread masqueraded as a real question on parenting a teenager making life choices that could impact him far into the future.

I thought we were just arming a fellow mom against an argumentative teen. It seems I failed to treat this intervention with the gravity it deserved. You must forgive my flippancy.

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You might be relieved to know that this person has already investigated ear surgery, that makes one appear to be an elf, but decided that it sounded painful and time consuming. 

 

However, out of curiosity, do you think that elf ears would be received better or worse than fangs in the employment marketplace?

 

 

In a follow up question, should I be concerned that my child will be making medical decisions for himself in 6.5 months?  

 

 

He just informed me that while he is grateful for your advice I can stop reading it aloud at the breakfast table because you are all members of the "mom" special interest group which explains your lack of diversity of opinions.

 

Should I point out that a significant portion of employers are members of the "mom" special interest group?

 

 

He told me this morning that he is planning to work in tech theater, and that it is "dark backstage" so people will not notice. 

 

I am also quite curious about the opinions of the "employers, with or without children" special interest group.  

 

 

I believe that he is going to find some back alley individual who works cheap to do the work.  Perhaps he will negotiate a trade for some video game loot.  

 

 

No, I believe what he's after is a reaction from his mother.

 

Previous posts that you have made on this thread indicate that this is a situation that your son truly is considering.  I think this is why some posters are upset with you.  You used words that indicated a problem.

 

If this thread is just a joke, maybe using smileys would help to convey the tone that you're intending.  :)

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