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hopskipjump

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Honestly, I would worry about your DD taking on the roomie's emotional distress or feeling like it's on her to keep roomie from bolting. It should not be on her at all. DD can talk to the RA and/or encourage roomie to go to the counseling office, rather than to her mom, but she shouldn't take on ownership of roomie's problems.

 

If roomie decides to go home, OK, not great for your DD, but things will work out.

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Perhaps she can relate to the roomie a lesson I learned when I went with dd to trapeze school.

 

Apparently there are no "beginner sized" trapeze equipment items. We learned on the same stuff the experts performed on. When I was up there, there were so few things to hold on to that I had a death grip on the few I could grab. One was a bar on the platform. But I had to let go of it to reach out to the swing bar. It was so lovely and solid! It was so safe! But I knew I couldn't move forward and swing until I let go of the platform. I had to repeat that lesson again when it came time to release the bar and drop to the net. That skinny little bar wasn't much, but it was the only solid thing in my whole life at that exact point in time and I surely did not want to let it go. But I had to in order to reach the safety and comfort of the net and then the ground. At the time, those things seemed to be the only good things in my life. But I couldn't make any progress if I continued to hold on to them. I had to literally take a leap of faith in order to move on to the next very good thing. And I was able to go back up again and enjoy the security of those good, solid items as many times as I wanted, but they eventually lost their hold on me as I became more familiar and skilled at my "next step" endeavor. They became a few of many good things rather than the only good things.

 

Letting go doesn't mean leaving forever. Letting go can be a part of learning to manage growth, and we can go back and hold on again whenever we want. HTH :)

Edited by hillfarm
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Honestly, I would worry about your DD taking on the roomie's emotional distress or feeling like it's on her to keep roomie from bolting. It should not be on her at all. DD can talk to the RA and/or encourage roomie to go to the counseling office, rather than to her mom, but she shouldn't take on ownership of roomie's problems.

 

If roomie decides to go home, OK, not great for your DD, but things will work out.

 

:iagree:

 

Absolutely.

 

This is not her problem to solve. 

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Most make it, some leave after 3 days. I hope it works out but with family and a boyfriend...

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Thanks! Talked with dd and she has a really healthy outlook, so we're all good. :) She's not internalizing roommate's worries and is generally a really easygoing person, so she says she'll just go with the flow for now and it will be what it will be. :D

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