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The Girls' Mom

The 2017 Acceptance Thread

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This is really stress reducing. I made the mistake of reading https://smile.amazon.com/Acceptance-Legendary-Counselor-Colleges-Themselves-ebook/dp/B002DQDODO/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1490818598&sr=1-6&keywords=acceptance, thinking it might be helpful. Instead it led me down a path of panic, since there is no way that I have the kind of backdoor connections this guy had built up to help get his kids into schools. The fact that he's very down on kids declaring Biology as a major doesn't help!

 

But seeing so many kids succeed definitely makes me feel more confident that our rather off the beaten path program of study just may end up working out after all.

 

 

Congratulations to all!!

 

Acceptance is an interesting book.  There was one year when I read that, Crazy U, and the Gatekeepers.  

 

The positive thing I took from Acceptance was that it was entirely appropriate for me, in my role as counselor, to occasionally call and ask questions about programs or the application process.  You are right that the counselor in the book had a strong network.  I think that matters in some cases, but it may also work against some students because there is some other student in their school who gets the counselor's stamp of approval when they don't.  Our kids don't have to worry about competing with classmates to get the best effort of the college counselor.

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Job, we have another one graduating next year. Going on a college trip a few days after admitted students day at Carnegie Mellon. Help.

PMing you.

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I went on CC during the weekend and felt hopeless, seriously. All those amazing kids with super impressive resumes and can't get into top schools. They are superhuman kids! They win awards, establish companies, build homes for orphans, etc. One kid said that all his work during the last 4 years was wasted. That's really sad. These are just kids with a wonderful future ahead no matter where they go, but it seems to them everything rides on getting accepted to certain colleges. And of course, now that I know how competitive it is, I don't want to fall into the same trap.

 

It just feels healthier here.

 

ETA: and they have almost perfect SAT scores and above 4.0 GPA, so I guess stats don't matter that much when everyone else has the same stats.

 

I don't read CC much, certainly not the forums that are heavily populated with chance me and speculative threads.  I do see a lot of that type of post on the Service Academy Forums boards.  

 

A couple observations:

 

Students are self-reporting their scores, accomplishments and grades.  Take it with a grain of salt.

When you get into the realm of extremely selective schools, students need to have a good dose of reality about their chances.  They also need to realize that many students with outstanding profiles will be turned down.

 

Students (and sometimes their parents) are sometimes not the best at judging how competitive the school is and how competitive their application is.  

 

Students on CC can be prone to conflating a really strong desire to attend somewhere with a good likelihood of being accepted and being able to afford it.  

 

IMHO, most students need to be brutally honest about their package AND the profile of students accepted at the school AND the acceptance rate AND their family's ability to pay.  

 

If you only look at your stats and the average profile, but don't pay attention to the 8% acceptance rate or if you ignore the fact that the school does no merit aid, you are likely to be disappointed.  If you buy into the idea that your lifetime of happiness depends on attending one and only one school, you are also setting yourself up.

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DS was accepted to George Washington, with a nice merit award.  May not bring the price down to affordable range, but it was a nice bonus.

 

The remaining school should give an answer tomorrow.  Not holding my breath since it is insanely selective.

 

DS has a list of 5-6 schools where he has been accepted.  He is now comparing programs to figure out which one is the best fit.  We will be spending some quality time this weekend bringing together all of the various financial puzzle pieces.

 

Still no word from Navy ROTC.  I have mostly given up on that for a 4 year scholarship.  I knew it was a long shot, given the fact that he was applying for the LREC scholarship and not going for a STEM degree.  All hope isn't lost, but we have to proceed assuming that this isn't going to happen.

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Do you guys know how hard it is to sit in a crowded pizza parlor not being able to whoop and fist pump out loud?

 

Amazing news today for sure!

 

We have some bad news today regarding a scholarship and poor kid is sad but will get a favorite pizza anyway. He is taking it in stride although he had so much hopes on it.

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Do you guys know how hard it is to sit in a crowded pizza parlor not being able to whoop and fist pump out loud?

 

Amazing news today for sure!

 

We have some bad news today regarding a scholarship and poor kid is sad but will get a favorite pizza anyway. He is taking it in stride although he had so much hopes on it.

 

 

:grouphug:

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We have some bad news today regarding a scholarship and poor kid is sad but will get a favorite pizza anyway. He is taking it in stride although he had so much hopes on it.

 

Sorry to hear that.   :grouphug: Glad he's taking it in stride.  Hopefully there are other decent financial options.

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We have some bad news today regarding a scholarship and poor kid is sad but will get a favorite pizza anyway. He is taking it in stride although he had so much hopes on it.

:grouphug:

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Do you guys know how hard it is to sit in a crowded pizza parlor not being able to whoop and fist pump out loud?

 

Amazing news today for sure!

 

We have some bad news today regarding a scholarship and poor kid is sad but will get a favorite pizza anyway. He is taking it in stride although he had so much hopes on it.

Between the TMI post and the "amazing news" comment, I am dying to know what happened.

 

Did I miss it somewhere?

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Lots of fun news here today! And I'm sorry about the disappointments, though it sounds like all these kids have plenty of great options.

 

Lisabees, I would have been super annoyed with that Penn decision though! How very weird. But the Columbia Kluge Scholar program sounds fantastic!

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Thank you everyone! Pizza has been consumed and disappointment might have passed (I hope). 😊

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For a saner look at college admissions, Crazy U is good. For more of a "how-to" point of view, but still sane, try If the U Fits.

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Early Decision is a good book for perspective and a reality check.

I just read the synopsis of that book. Wow. Incredibly depressing.

 

College applications don't have to be life-sucking for parents or students, especially if you don't get sucked into the elite or their future is destroyed mentality.

 

People that can afford college application counselors probably are not working with an extremely tight budget. If you are on an extremely tight budget like we are, knowing how your budget works (or doesn't!!) for different college scenarios is your best first step. For some families, the stress of highly competitive schools is worth it bc they become a good financial value. For others like ours, the gap is huge and they are best avoided anyway bc they will never be affordable.

 

A good next step is to spend time perusing common data sets to understand how your student fits into school profiles. If you need merit scholarships, your student needs to be in the upper quartile.

 

The saddest stories are kids with above avg but not tippy top stats, who are on a tight budget, and who insist lower ranked schools are beneath them. Kids with a 30 ACT who insist on applying to top tier schools are going to be left in a predicament unless they have an incredibly strong hook. For example, take a student who fits the 30 ACT scenario and whose FAFSA EFC is around $10,000. The student only applies to only top schools or schools where he is likely to be accepted but the school doesn't meet need. The student refuses to consider lower ranked schools where the 30 makes him competitive for merit. After days like yesterday, he is left with rejections from the vast majority of his schools and a handful of acceptances from schools where the family's expected contribution is $20,000+. That same student could have had affordable options with a different application strategy.

 

The same scenario is true for kids with high stats and an unaffordable familial contribution. Setting their sights on need only schools is likely to leave them in the situation where they cannot afford to attend.

 

Applying well can take a lot of stress out of the equation. It can be stressful in trying to figure out what schools fit the academic and financial profile, but it is far better to do that before application deadlines then realize it after announcements of acceptances, rejections, and FA packages. And accepting that schools ranked in the 100s out of thousands of schools does not mean that the students attending there are a bunch of dullards with zero employment opportunities in the future. ;)

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I feel it's my job as a parent to research schools and then instill some reality. 

 

For that kid who has an ACT 30 and EFC $10,000 then it's okay to look some at top schools, but be realistic and look at other schools as well and do some research to see  what schools might offer automatic merit aid at that score. It's much better to have some (or one) good offer from a decent school in your back pocket before you think too much about the super-competitive.

 

 

 

 

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Quite honestly, very few with a 30 ACT are going to get into top schools.  Those who do have a significant hook.  If below the 25th percentile in stats, expect to need a significant hook.  While there can be some in that 25% "without" an obvious hook, the competition for those slots is incredibly fierce.  It's not the 5-8% general acceptance rate... (which is already low).

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Quite honestly, very few with a 30 ACT are going to get into top schools.  Those who do have a significant hook.  If below the 25th percentile in stats, expect to need a significant hook.  While there can be some in that 25% "without" an obvious hook, the competition for those slots is incredibly fierce.  It's not the 5-8% general acceptance rate... (which is already low).

 

 

I am glad someone said this, I was feeling the same way but was afraid to actually say it  :lol:   Even with a significant hook, a 30 would be a real reach with tippy tops.

Edited by Attolia
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I just read the synopsis of that book. Wow. Incredibly depressing.

 

 

Yes, some of the situations discussed in the book are incredibly depressing. The book itself, however, is actually sometimes quite witty. When I finished it, I felt more free than I had for a long time. Through the lives of the teenagers and their parents, I saw paths to avoid and paths I feared did not exist. There is a way through the madness without giving in to it. I don't think I've ever returned to the level of concern I had before I read that book.

 

Life is too short and too precious and the world is way too big and too beautiful to narrow the only worthwhile paths down to a few. Our approach to the high school years....

 

Work hard, play hard, plan well, be true to yourself, and see where life takes you.

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I am glad someone said this, I was feeling the same way but was afraid to actually say it :lol: Even with a significant hook, a 30 would be a real reach with tippy tops.

That is actually what I did say. ;)

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That is actually what I did say. ;)

Yes, you are right! I have no idea where my brain is today 😂

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DS was accepted to George Washington, with a nice merit award.  May not bring the price down to affordable range, but it was a nice bonus.

 

The remaining school should give an answer tomorrow.  Not holding my breath since it is insanely selective.

 

DS has a list of 5-6 schools where he has been accepted.  He is now comparing programs to figure out which one is the best fit.  We will be spending some quality time this weekend bringing together all of the various financial puzzle pieces.

 

Still no word from Navy ROTC.  I have mostly given up on that for a 4 year scholarship.  I knew it was a long shot, given the fact that he was applying for the LREC scholarship and not going for a STEM degree.  All hope isn't lost, but we have to proceed assuming that this isn't going to happen.

 

 

No word on ROTC here either. 

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 And accepting that schools ranked in the 100s out of thousands of schools does not mean that the students attending there are a bunch of dullards with zero employment opportunities in the future. ;)

This thought is what goes through my head every time I see a link or a post with lists about the top schools, like the one about the feeders to grad schools. Yay for the schools on the list but, by gosh and by golly, those aren't the only schools whose students go to grad school. I (we) already have enough pressure thinking about fit, finances, tribe and degree...there is too much pressure at every turn. DS is a sophomore this year and I am still experiencing anxiety over the school he chose to attend and whether or not he'll be employable, get the right internship, meet the right people for recommendations, make the right professional connections...it's too much at times. When do these kids (and their parents) get to enjoy the fruits of their labor? Why must every decision be qualifiable?

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Although I was hesitant to post since I have not participated in any real way on this forum for quite a while, I've enjoyed reading the posts here since my son was in kindergarten and I've learned very much from y'all along the way.  Now as I poke around this list anonymously yet again, I realize I would love to chat with other parents whose children are considering the same colleges my son is considering.  He was very lucky in the admissions game this year, garnering acceptances to Harvard early action, Yale, Columbia as a John Jay Scholar, Berklee college of music with merit aid, and UNC with a full-ride scholarship.  His dream is the new Harvard-Berklee dual degree program (BA from Harvard and Master's from Berklee), but he won't hear about the joint program until next Friday.  If any of your kids are considering these schools or attending these schools, I'd love to hear from you!

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This thought is what goes through my head every time I see a link or a post with lists about the top schools, like the one about the feeders to grad schools. Yay for the schools on the list but, by gosh and by golly, those aren't the only schools whose students go to grad school. I (we) already have enough pressure thinking about fit, finances, tribe and degree...there is too much pressure at every turn. DS is a sophomore this year and I am still experiencing anxiety over the school he chose to attend and whether or not he'll be employable, get the right internship, meet the right people for recommendations, make the right professional connections...it's too much at times. When do these kids (and their parents) get to enjoy the fruits of their labor? Why must every decision be qualifiable?

 

I don't know if you have ever read any of my posts where I state emphatically that the reason for our homeschool's success is that I am 99.99% stubborn-- it is the truth!  Likewise, I am absolutely 100% a non-believer in the necessity of elite school for defining future success.  I had never heard of Malcolm Gladwell until Hoggirl mentioned him on here a few years ago, but he affirms what I already believed: kids that forge their own paths and shine at their school will be successful.  He quantifies it as Big Fish in a Little Pond.  Whatever you want to call it, kids who take ownership over their future and seek out every opportunity they can find will know their professors; their professors will know them; they will be fine even if they are at a lower ranked school.

 

It has been true for my older kids. Oldest ds has a fabulous career as a chemE. CBH has been great for ds at Bama.  McNair at USC offers numerous benefits for UG research and internships.  Zero qualms embracing the 100s ranked schools that want to offer top students special opportunities (with scholarships on top!!)  

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HodgesSchool!!! Wow! What a amazing list! So super exciting for your son. Congrats to both of you. Keep us updated.

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Thank you.  We were a bit stunned by all of this.

 

I want to underline what 8FillTheHeart says: "Kids who take ownership over their future and seek out every opportunity they can find will know their professors; their professors will know them; they will be fine."  Homeschooling is such perfect training for students to expect real relationships with the people who guide them--and that will allow them to take full advantage of whatever college choices they make.

.

HodgesSchool!!! Wow! What a amazing list! So super exciting for your son. Congrats to both of you. Keep us updated.

 

Edited by HodgesSchool
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DS found out today that he was accepted to Stanford.

 

I'm pretty much in shock.

 

There is a very real possibility that we won't be able to swing it financially, but how incredible that he was accepted.

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HodgesSchool, congratulations to your son (and much luck as he makes his final decision!)

Are finances an issue for you? Were you offered much aid at Harvard/Yale/Columbia? It sounds like he loves the idea of Harvard, and getting the advanced degree at Berklee sounds amazing. I assume the scholarship at UNC is part of a program with special opportunities for the scholars?

 

I don't have experience with those schools, but my daughter had a similar choice to make last year, with a full ride (that came with special opportunities) at Ga Tech and admissions to Princeton and Dartmouth (which she loved less for the education and more for the setting; she is a snow/mountain girl.) She was also considering a full tuition off at Messiah College in Pennsylvania (that school was a distant fourth though, because it was going to be much more expensive than the other three.)The final decision was painful, actually! But she went with Princeton (I should add that we qualified for significant aid there, so although it wasn't entirely a full ride, it came to about $6000/year, all told.) Her decision in the end was based on a lack of certainty about her major (probably engineering but possibly not; Princeton offered more flexibility in switching), and a preference for Princeton's setting over Ga Tech's urban environment. Dartmouth fell off because the engineering was not as good as Princeton's and would likely take 5 years.

 

I hope your son can figure out his path.

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DS found out today that he was accepted to Stanford.

:hurray:  :party:

Congrats to all! and  :grouphug:  for those who need them!

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DS found out today that he was accepted to Stanford.

 

I'm pretty much in shock.

 

There is a very real possibility that we won't be able to swing it financially, but how incredible that he was accepted.

Wow, congratulations! That is great news. Happy for you.

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DS found out today that he was accepted to Stanford.

 

I'm pretty much in shock.

 

There is a very real possibility that we won't be able to swing it financially, but how incredible that he was accepted.

WOOT, WOOT, WOOT!!!!!

 

Congratulations!! I truly understand about cost but certainly hope you can swing it!

 

And it is incredible - here are this year's stats:

 

http://news.stanford.edu/2017/03/31/offers-admission-2050-students-around-world/

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Sebastian!!!!!!! So happy for you and DS! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

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WOOT, WOOT, WOOT!!!!!

 

Congratulations!! I truly understand about cost but certainly hope you can swing it!

 

And it is incredible - here are this year's stats:

 

http://news.stanford.edu/2017/03/31/offers-admission-2050-students-around-world/

 

 

Ditto this. Huge congrats!

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DS found out today that he was accepted to Stanford.

 

I'm pretty much in shock.

 

There is a very real possibility that we won't be able to swing it financially, but how incredible that he was accepted.

 

 

Yay!   :hurray:  :hurray:  :hurray:

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Although I was hesitant to post since I have not participated in any real way on this forum for quite a while, I've enjoyed reading the posts here since my son was in kindergarten and I've learned very much from y'all along the way.  Now as I poke around this list anonymously yet again, I realize I would love to chat with other parents whose children are considering the same colleges my son is considering.  He was very lucky in the admissions game this year, garnering acceptances to Harvard early action, Yale, Columbia as a John Jay Scholar, Berklee college of music with merit aid, and UNC with a full-ride scholarship.  His dream is the new Harvard-Berklee dual degree program (BA from Harvard and Master's from Berklee), but he won't hear about the joint program until next Friday.  If any of your kids are considering these schools or attending these schools, I'd love to hear from you!

 

 

:hurray:  :hurray:  :hurray:

 

Your DS has some big decisions to make.  Congrats.

Edited by Attolia
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And it is incredible - here are this year's stats:

 

http://news.stanford.edu/2017/03/31/offers-admission-2050-students-around-world/

 

4.65% on average (this will differ some once ED and regular are separated out, but it won't be wildly different).

 

I think of stats like these whenever someone tries to say our college system will implode due to costs.  That might happen for extremely low rated schools, but I certainly can't see it happening in general.

 

ETA:  Even youngest son's LAC has seen a pretty big upswing in students applying and attending (yield).  It's been pushing their housing capability to the extreme so the Powers that Be there are debating what to do regarding acceptance numbers in the future.  This has happened at middle son's school too, but that's more understandable with them being Top 30.  Youngest's school is ranked 100(something).

 

Colleges have shown no signs of imploding that I've seen - aside from some specific schools that are losing appeal.  Either that, or my guys have been trend setters attending "up and coming" schools.  ;)

Edited by creekland

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Thanks, Attolia and Gr8lander!  As is probably clear from my son's college list, he is a city boy. 

 

All three schools are financially possible for us--given the colleges' commitments to meet demonstrated need.  Although I know the formula does not work out for everyone, we're set as far as money goes.  H, Y, or C would be more expensive than UNC with scholarship--but all three are choices we can live with.  We feel very fortunate for that.

 

We'll keep you informed.  Thanks for all the support!

 

HodgesSchool, congratulations to your son (and much luck as he makes his final decision!)

Are finances an issue for you? Were you offered much aid at Harvard/Yale/Columbia? It sounds like he loves the idea of Harvard, and getting the advanced degree at Berklee sounds amazing. I assume the scholarship at UNC is part of a program with special opportunities for the scholars?

 

I don't have experience with those schools, but my daughter had a similar choice to make last year, with a full ride (that came with special opportunities) at Ga Tech and admissions to Princeton and Dartmouth (which she loved less for the education and more for the setting; she is a snow/mountain girl.) She was also considering a full tuition off at Messiah College in Pennsylvania (that school was a distant fourth though, because it was going to be much more expensive than the other three.)The final decision was painful, actually! But she went with Princeton (I should add that we qualified for significant aid there, so although it wasn't entirely a full ride, it came to about $6000/year, all told.) Her decision in the end was based on a lack of certainty about her major (probably engineering but possibly not; Princeton offered more flexibility in switching), and a preference for Princeton's setting over Ga Tech's urban environment. Dartmouth fell off because the engineering was not as good as Princeton's and would likely take 5 years.

 

I hope your son can figure out his path.

 

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4.65% on average (this will differ some once ED and regular are separated out, but it won't be wildly different).

 

I think of stats like these whenever someone tries to say our college system will implode due to costs. That might happen for extremely low rated schools, but I certainly can't see it happening in general.

Idk if they will separate them out (as an aside, Stanford is Restricted Early Action, not Early Decision - akin to Single Choice Early Action). This year they didn't release the number they had taken in REA until they announced the regular decisions yesterday. This year and last they have taken in the 700s for REA. Prior to that it was in the 500s. So they have been extending more offers in REA than they did historically. However, since it's a variant of early action, those offers don't have to be accepted. Last year was also the first year they did not release their yield, though that can be roughly determined from the Common Data Set. It was around 82%. I know two local students who were accepted last year who went elsewhere: one to Princeton (he was a double legacy and was accepted there SCEA) and one (a homeschooler - yay!) to Carnegie Mellon. Edited by Hoggirl
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  He was very lucky in the admissions game this year, garnering acceptances to Harvard early action, Yale, Columbia as a John Jay Scholar, Berklee college of music with merit aid, and UNC with a full-ride scholarship.  

This is a nice surprise for me. I've always had feeling that Yale is one of those not-so-homeschooler-friendly schools. Way to go!

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Life is too short and too precious and the world is way too big and too beautiful to narrow the only worthwhile paths down to a few. Our approach to the high school years....

 

Work hard, play hard, plan well, be true to yourself, and see where life takes you.

 

LOVE this!!  Thank you!

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Congratulations to all with great news and (((hugs)))) for the not so great news. So impressed with all your dc are doing.

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Yep, we thought the same thing before this year.  We know of another homeschooler in our area admitted to Yale this year as well!

This is a nice surprise for me. I've always had feeling that Yale is one of those not-so-homeschooler-friendly schools. Way to go!

 

Edited by HodgesSchool
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DD received the full tuition scholarship at Furman.  We are super excited for her but she can't take it :(  She loves that school and if it was a full ride she would take it in a heart beat, but full tuition there is still a higher bottom line than all of our other options (unless something comes through that we don't expect).  Full need met schools have been a much better way for us than slightly lower school with great merit aid. This is their biggest scholarship and they only chose 8 kids but it will still be higher  :(

 

ETA:  I feel so guilty for dd to turn it down because they love her so much.  Her admission's counselor really pulled for her in this.  She is fairly new, from our area, and loves homeschoolers and was really pulling for dd and another homeschooler who was finalist for their other scholarship.  This shouldn't be so emotional, right?

Edited by Attolia
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{{hugs}} @Attolia

 

That was one of the two biggest shocks for us last year.

 

1st was that our in-state universities were going to cost MORE for dd1 than out of state when all was said and done.

 

And 2nd was that even when she received amazing full-tuition scholarships, the bottom-dollar was still too much sometimes. 😕

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Attolia, can you go back to them with that info, and tell them what you have been offered other places?  Maybe there is something additional they can do?  If they really want her, it seems like it couldn't hurt.  I have read other posters say they have gone back to a school with additional info based on the offers from other schools, and they were suddenly able to offer more aid.

 

 

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Attolia, Dd felt that way about a couple of schools and scholarships she turned down. She had a great rapport with the admissions officer and felt bad about telling her/him she wouldn't be attending. She did write personal notes to each of those AOs thanking them for supporting her application and that it was hard to make the decision that she did. Sh always told them it was bc financially it was hard for her to turn down attending on full-scholarship. They wrote her back nice replies.

 

Her dad's motto, "Never burn bridges."

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