gaaahhhh! my daughter

[Soror]

Not sure if I was just oblivious or willfully blind being focused on ds' problems but I just realized that dd 9yo 4mo still reverses b & d's. It is also becoming more and more apparent that she is not doing well in spelling either, I decided yesterday to switch her to A&P Spelling and she only tested into Lesson 20 of Level A.

 

Her learning to read was pretty slow and painful but not quite and slow and painful as ds so I've thought we were pretty good. She is reading American Girl books for school this year and seems to be comprehending them- they are on a 4+ reading level. I just had her do the reading assessments at High Noon and she can go through all of them pretty good- making about 1 -2 mistakes per passage. On the last one she missed the road Oasis and Monroe.

 

She went to a COVD dr. a couple of years ago and the only thing that came up in screening was a bit of trouble seeing, she was prescribed reading glasses but doesn't even feel the need to use them now. I guess I need to look into taking her back for another eval.

 

She doesn't have any of the other issues ds had- she knows left from right, did not struggle w/ phonemic awareness activities in LoE, no attention problems, work is neat, she works pretty fast(currently doing Saxon 5/4 and she finishes a lesson within 30 min). She does get frustrated easily, VERY easily she needs things broken down very incrementally, anything new or she thinks is new completely stresses her out. She does not do well with a challenge.

 

 

Thoughts? I'm thinking COVD first and then go from there. 

[PeterPan]

Discrepancy from IQ?  Recent achievement testing?  If you can get a WJ, it would be nice.  I'm hearing a lot of *discrepancy* there between expected and achievement, and there's no objective testing here to sort that out.  Just being in a level doesn't tell you where she's functioning.  

 

Personally, I'd just flat take her in for the psych eval, but that's because I seem to pretend money goes on trees.  You could get the eyes checked again while you wait for the psych eval, sure.

Edited August 12, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[Soror]

No tests at all. Considering the fact that my son lit up a dyslexia checklist (and sucked on the CTOPP) like the 4th of July and didn't get any diagnosis related to that I'd be hesitant to go through a full NP eval. Unfortunately money is not growing on trees at my house right now- way too many expenses right now. Last I checked just ed. testing was a lot cheaper than all the other stuff. She doesn't seem to have any EF or social issues, the only maybe there is anxiety- the only concern there is she gets anxious at times.. It is not enough to interfere with her life, actually it is mostly only IRT school and worrying she doesn't know something or being convinced that she doesn't know it or can't figure it out. 

[PeterPan]

That's pretty funky weird that he was low on the CTOPP and not getting diagnosed.  There's low and there's low.  Did he have an APD screening?  It's $35 at our univ. APD and ADHD would be your two common explanations for that.  

 

Yes, I would pursue some things for the anxiety.  Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents  This is the book the Social Thinking people are recommending right now.  

[kbutton]

Check the eyes again--kids lose ability to compensate overnight sometimes. We had SO MANY problems clear up with COVD intervention for both kids (there were plenty to pick from, lol!). 

 

Be sure the COVD works their eyes to fatigue during the exam and/or make sure their eyes are tired when they go in!!! My kids hid their problems well--the COVD went on a hunch after hearing our frustration with certain tasks, and she had to work hard to get their eyes to do weird stuff. They both had short courses of VT where their problems showed up in the therapy work rather glaringly and was fixed.

[Soror]

Check the eyes again--kids lose ability to compensate overnight sometimes. We had SO MANY problems clear up with COVD intervention for both kids (there were plenty to pick from, lol!). 

 

Be sure the COVD works their eyes to fatigue during the exam and/or make sure their eyes are tired when they go in!!! My kids hid their problems well--the COVD went on a hunch after hearing our frustration with certain tasks, and she had to work hard to get their eyes to do weird stuff. They both had short courses of VT where their problems showed up in the therapy work rather glaringly and was fixed.

thanks for the tip about having them go to fatigue.

 

Another thing that occurred to me is that she still doesn't always get spoken grammar right, my 1st grader might be ahead of her there but she is kind of ahead. My son never made mistakes like that. She has got better but I'm sure she is behind there.

[Soror]

That's pretty funky weird that he was low on the CTOPP and not getting diagnosed.  There's low and there's low.  Did he have an APD screening?  It's $35 at our univ. APD and ADHD would be your two common explanations for that.  

 

Yes, I would pursue some things for the anxiety.  Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents  This is the book the Social Thinking people are recommending right now.  

Ds did go for a APD eval at the local university he passed all their screenings. Well, except really sucking at spelling.

 

Thanks for the book rec, like I said it is generally only related to school so perhaps it is just b/c of some issues there.

[PeterPan]

Ok, just to be precautionary, you could see if you can find a tutor to give you the CTOPP on the cheap.  Around here an OG tutor will administer the CTOPP and DAR for $75.  That would clear it up.  And you could do the audiologist at $35 for good measure.  So $110 and you'd eliminate some things.  Doesn't give you IQ (for discrepancy) and doesn't give you a formal diagnosis on the anxiety if you want it.  

 

If you want a totally off the wall suggestion, feed her oatmeal for breakfast and split pea soup for dinner.  But like I said, off the wall.  :D

[Kathleen.]

My 10yo never had a problem with letter reversals until one day I was volunteering in her Kindergarten class and the teacher was just casually pointing out common mistakes kids make with letter reversals (b/d, p/q)  and for some unknown reason my 10yo never forgot it and to this day still reverses the b and d.  She has no learning problems, she just never forgot this.  If she writes the wrong letter I mention it and we move on, no big deal.

[Soror]

Ok, just to be precautionary, you could see if you can find a tutor to give you the CTOPP on the cheap.  Around here an OG tutor will administer the CTOPP and DAR for $75.  That would clear it up.  And you could do the audiologist at $35 for good measure.  So $110 and you'd eliminate some things.  Doesn't give you IQ (for discrepancy) and doesn't give you a formal diagnosis on the anxiety if you want it.  

 

If you want a totally off the wall suggestion, feed her oatmeal for breakfast and split pea soup for dinner.  But like I said, off the wall.   :D

Hmm, dont know if there are any OG tutors here, I can look and see and I should do the Barton screening because it is nice and easy. I don't think the anxiety is to diagnose-able levels.

 

You must explain oatmeal and split peas :) We often do oatmeal but pretty much never have split peas she is not that picky but peas are her absolutely least favorite I'll puke food.

[Soror]

My 10yo never had a problem with letter reversals until one day I was volunteering in her Kindergarten class and the teacher was just casually pointing out common mistakes kids make with letter reversals (b/d, p/q)  and for some unknown reason my 10yo never forgot it and to this day still reverses the b and d.  She has no learning problems, she just never forgot this.  If she writes the wrong letter I mention it and we move on, no big deal.

Well, it isn't new for dd, I guess I just hadn't realized that she hadn't stopped it yet.

[PeterPan]

Hmm, dont know if there are any OG tutors here, I can look and see and I should do the Barton screening because it is nice and easy. I don't think the anxiety is to diagnose-able levels.

 

You must explain oatmeal and split peas :) We often do oatmeal but pretty much never have split peas she is not that picky but peas are her absolutely least favorite I'll puke food.

 

I think the oatmeal is a theory about rNA and dNA and how your pituitary gland balances (I speak as a fool).  The split peas have something in them that is calming for anxiety.  Halibut too.  Put the split pea soup is like MAGIC.  I got SO whacked out in Oregon.  The road sign will say the road winds, and the road is like zig zag zig zag back and forth, really narrow, with steep dropoffs.  It was HARROWING!  A week of split pea soup, and I'm all chilled.  :D

 

I have no sympathies for food preferences except my own.  :D  If you can get it into her, it may or may not help.  Beyond that, CBT and the techniques in the book.  :)

[Soror]

I think the oatmeal is a theory about rNA and dNA and how your pituitary gland balances (I speak as a fool).  The split peas have something in them that is calming for anxiety.  Halibut too.  Put the split pea soup is like MAGIC.  I got SO whacked out in Oregon.  The road sign will say the road winds, and the road is like zig zag zig zag back and forth, really narrow, with steep dropoffs.  It was HARROWING!  A week of split pea soup, and I'm all chilled.   :D

 

I have no sympathies for food preferences except my own.   :D  If you can get it into her, it may or may not help.  Beyond that, CBT and the techniques in the book.   :)

My kids are generally pretty good eaters so if they really hate something I let it go. Interesting about the split pea. It would probably be good to look into some natural helps to see if anything helps her. I did change up her school this year to help alleviate some and it has been better. Math was a source of a lot of tears last year but nearly none this year(we moved from Horizons to Saxon), we had a couple of rough spots in the beginning as she got used to it but past that it has been pretty smooth. I made her work predictable and very doable. I'll check out the books, I've tried some different techniques with her but I'm not an expert so I'm sure there are other options I don't know about.

[PeterPan]

I think that predictability thing is HUGE with anxiety.  Clear expectations, lots of structure, doable.  Your changes sound very good!  

[Soror]

I think that predictability thing is HUGE with anxiety.  Clear expectations, lots of structure, doable.  Your changes sound very good!  

Yes, and it is good for my son as well w/ some EF deficits. They both have detailed schedules this year and one of my big goals is to keep things the same(which is hard b/c I love changing things up!). I've figured out that dd spazzes out every time something changes. I also realized I need to make things easier than I think she can do because she needs to know she can for sure do something before starting or she will shut down. 

[PeterPan]

My ds is SO like that.  You wouldn't BELIEVE how detailed the schedules are the ABA tutor uses with him.  Or maybe you would?  I mean like literally she writes on a board EVERY SINGLE THING.  Like it says breathe (just joking), exhale (not really).  It's scheduled down to every 10 minutes, and the times are written beside it!  And I look at that and go ok, but what happens if we got OFF by 10 minutes?  Then what??  Or, duh, that's the point?  That he knows 9:30-12:30 is it, this is the time, not gonna go over, even if we mess up it's done...  I actually haven't figured that part out.  I've been more in wow that takes some energy land just looking at it.  

 

And yeah, she looks TIRED by the end of that, lol.  

 

I haven't really figured out how to do that for myself, with normal human realities (not mercenary, show up because you're getting paid reality).  But I think you're right that it creates just this super-clear expectation that he can really live with.

Edited August 13, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[Kat w]

Baha! Breath. Dat was funny. I needed a laugh.

 

Sorror, my guy is like thst too.

He will seriously lose his mind if I dint have everything posted on the fridge or corkboard.

We have to have the week planned on the corkboard with times.

Then the details of each day broken down on the fridge.

He will hol 'us ' accountable for times even lol

 

And I'm a ...woo hoo more free spirit type...OK..that sounds fun, let's go do thst instead.

Ohbmy, even if it's fun and not part of the plan and posted.

Hell have an inner quiet meltown then finally regroup.

 

That inner quiet meltown took years of practice and work to get there, and uts still only on things like thst. Something fun comes up and we decide to do that instead.

I'll notice when we come back...he's changed the schedule on the fridge to accommodate that Baha.

I jus smh. Whatever works lol.

 

OhE's right. You've din good there.

That's a facet I notice families will miss but are so important to our guys.

Good call mama :)

[Soror]

Ha, well, I guess I'm lucky I don't have to be that detailed but the kids need to know exactly what is expected for school but they set their own schedule to a certain degree. My daughter, like me, needs structure but also a healthy amount of independence- she spazzes with being controlled too much. So I lay out what I need her to do explicitly. It is a constant shifting here trying to figure out how much structure and how much independence is needed. My plans this year are specific as they have ever been and on one hand I hate it. I'm trying to suck it up because I think it is best for them at this point- I hope to go a little less structured and interest led/rabbit trail next year.

Edited August 13, 2016 by soror

[Kat w]

Yea. That's a fine line to balance isn't it?

 

Structure... Independence .

 

I'm putting together more detailed planners for them this year.

I got some great ideas from a board member here she posted what she had included.. Imagine more. It's on one of the threads.

 

I'm hoping if I add more details to their planners...i can do less on the corkboard and fridge.

 

He takes them down to look at them ir decorate them with stickers and markers and loses them anyway haha..

Could be in the dirt outside...under the couch..in the Lego bin...anywhere :)

Oiy life's so fun sometimes haha :)

[Kat w]

......he looses his planners too tho :/

[Soror]

......he looses his planners too tho :/

OH, I might lose it with that!

[Kat w]

Ha-ha....oh that drove his teachers....in...sane! Ha-ha :)

 

I'm not a fan either lol

I'm used to it tho.

 

Shoes, pencils, clothes, tape, ANYTHING I've asked to be carried in from the truck haha.

:/ ;)