Would you send these books for free?

[Janeway]

I advertised my RS4Kids books for sale two months ago. They did not sell. Then, I got an email a couple days ago from a woman who seems to need them. Over the two months in which they did not sell, I decided I liked them again and decided to give them a second try. 

 

I told her I was sorry, but, turns out, we like the books and plan to use them. She emailed back, sounding panicked that she really needed them. She does not have much money and my price was so good. I feel bad! I do have one duplicate book I could spare. She seems sincere.

 

Also..I happen to have both the Apologia Physics and Chemistry as well as RS4Kids at every level. 

 

Should I just give her the duplicate book, for free, and also, just let go of either the Apologia or RS4Kids books? My children, so far, do not care for Apologia, but enjoy the experiments. They prefer the RS4Kids books because they get to the point more. Basically, so far, I use the Apologia books for the wonderful experiments and the RS4Kids books for them to read. 

 

I would really like to help this mom out. What should I do? Just give her the spare duplicate book? (I have two children who will likely use them at the same time in the future, so having two would be good, but not needed). Or go ahead and just sell her these books that are not for sale anymore? 

 

Part of me feels like..this is not my problem, let it go. But a part of me just really wants to help.

Edited August 5, 2016 by Janeway

[mamiof5]

If I never took the ad down I'd sell them to her. Well... actually, probably I'd just send them to her and consider it a RAK (random act of kindness).

 

I don't know how much you were asking for them though, and how badly you need the $. The way I think about it? Seems like you were resigned not to sell them, so you weren't counting with that money. She might need them badly, and when I can I try to help someone in need

[Starr]

I don't know how one can really evaluate someones situation over the internet and an email about a book. They aren't for sale now. Use them and when you are finished pass them on. 

[Mergath]

I don't know, if I'd advertised my books for sale and then when someone tried to buy them was like, "Just kidding, I'm keeping them," I'd feel like kind of an ass. Obviously you're under no obligation to sell them, but I probably would, given how desperate she seems.

[Janeway]

If I never took the ad down I'd sell them to her. Well... actually, probably I'd just send them to her and consider it a RAK (random act of kindness).

 

I don't know how much you were asking for them though, and how badly you need the $. The way I think about it? Seems like you were resigned not to sell them, so you weren't counting with that money. She might need them badly, and when I can I try to help someone in need

I was selling them for quite cheap. I do not even need the money really, not NEED. But, at the time, when I bought them, it was a huge deal to spend that kind of money. And really, even if I gave her everything all together, she wanted all the middle level books, it would still only be $60 for the entire level. The full $60 is great, but $60 for all those books is not a ton. If I gave her some, I would give her the one duplicate, maybe the Apologia Astronomy book, and maybe the chemistry set. If I sent those to her for free, with her savings, she could purchase any other books she needs. She would not even all the RS4Kids books she wants, but, it would still be a nice gift.

Edited August 5, 2016 by Janeway

[mamiof5]

I was selling them for quite cheap. I do not even need the money really, not NEED. But, at the time, when I bought them, it was a huge deal to spend that kind of money. And really, even if I gave her everything all together, she wanted all the middle level books, it would still only be $60 for the entire level. The full $60 is great, but $60 for all those books is not a ton. If I gave her some, I would give her the one duplicate, maybe the Apologia Astronomy book, and maybe the chemistry set. If I sent those to her for free, with her savings, she could purchase any other books she needs. She would not even all the RS4Kids books she wants, but, it would still be a nice gift.

It would be a very nice gift. Apologia is expensive. And after posting the response here I read about your AC units. You do, kind of need the $...AC repair is pricey! :(

[heartlikealion]

I don't know, if I'd advertised my books for sale and then when someone tried to buy them was like, "Just kidding, I'm keeping them," I'd feel like kind of an ass. Obviously you're under no obligation to sell them, but I probably would, given how desperate she seems.

 

I would feel something like this.

 

OP, was your ad left open? Would rebuying them be a financial burden? I guess I'd be asking myself a few questions before deciding. Maybe compromise and sell the extra one at a discount? Since you might have to rebuy it later if you still want the spare.

 

[ThursdayNext]

I see this differently. Just because you advertise books for sale doesn't mean you have to sell them. The only way you have an obligation is if she paid you for the books before you decided to keep them.

 

It would be nice if you gave her the one duplicate book and she only paid shipping costs.

 

I come at this from the perspective of someone trying to buy used books on a tiny budget. There are plenty of good deals that somehow don't work out. If someone had bought the books a minute before she responded, you wouldn't go out and buy another set for this person. Well, you are the "buyer", since you're now using the books. There are other deals out there, or other curriculum that will do the job. That's what I'd tell myself if I was trying to buy your books.

[heartlikealion]

It would be easier for me to hear someone else bought them than I decided to keep them -- but I can't really advocate lying, either.

 

"Sorry, they are not available now" might be an easier out. Though it is a bit late for that.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I see this differently. Just because you advertise books for sale doesn't mean you have to sell them. The only way you have an obligation is if she paid you for the books before you decided to keep them.

 

It would be nice if you gave her the one duplicate book and she only paid shipping costs.

 

I come at this from the perspective of someone trying to buy used books on a tiny budget. There are plenty of good deals that somehow don't work out. If someone had bought the books a minute before she responded, you wouldn't go out and buy another set for this person. Well, you are the "buyer", since you're now using the books. There are other deals out there, or other curriculum that will do the job. That's what I'd tell myself if I was trying to buy your books.

:iagree:  I've shared, at my own expense for shipping even, several books over the years but not ones that I decided to keep.  I'd tell her sorry but they are no longer for sale.  She can figure out something else, it is not your obligation to provide for her.

[PeppermintPattie]

When I've encountered similar situations, I try to remember how hard dh had to work to earn the money to pay for our curriculum, and sometimes that answers the question for me.

[Grover]

I'd just reply and say, sorry, the advertisement is old, they are no longer for sale.  While it's lovely that you want to her out, you don't have any obligation here.

[Soror]

I would just tell her I'm sorry I decided to keep them. Now, if this ad was a recent one I might feel some guilt but an ad over 2 months old, no I wouldn't feel bad. An ad that old I might have forgot I even posted. People change their mind about selling stuff all the time, somebody having something for sale is no guarantee that you'll get it(and really an ad 2 months old I wouldn't bank on it) and further more science for elementary kids is easy to come by free on-line and at the library.

[alisoncooks]

Also keep in mind that, on the internet, there are as many sob stories as stars.  I know that sounds harsh, but I've listed things for sale on craigslist and have had dozens of people try to talk me into giving them for free.  Generally, I sell something because I need the money (for next year's books or what have you; if I didn't need the money at all, I'd give it away and be done with the hassle.)

 

You are under no obligation.  If you have the funds available and you want to do something kind for this lady, go for it.  But I wouldn't feel guilted into it.

Edited August 5, 2016 by alisoncooks

[Night Elf]

I'm sorry she seems distressed but you aren't obligated to sell to her, nor are you obligated to just give away the books. You don't really know her situation. She could just be trying to see what she can get for as little as possible. Who wouldn't want to get a steal on curriculum? That's taking a negative look at people but I've heard my share of sad stories back in the day when I used to buy and sell curriculum. If you want to give her something, that's nice but don't do it if it's a hardship on you. And definitely keep the books you plan to use. Just take that ad down.

[Lanny]

Your DC are your first priority. IMO anything that you think you might use in the future you should keep. Anything you are sure you will not use in the future, you can sell or give away. 

[Janeway]

You know, years ago, some women chewed me out so bad when I sold my MUS blocks. So I gave her other things for free. I let myself be intimidated. I have always regretted that.

[JustEm]

I wouldn't offer them for free but if I didn't need them I'd offer to sell them to her.

[Spryte]

Have you decided?

 

I think a polite response along the lines of, "I'm sorry, these items are no longer available. I'll be sure to take that ad down ASAP to avoid further confusion," is more than adequate.

 

You're going to use the books. You have more than one child who will use them. When you're finished with them, I'm sure you can sell them to another mom who desperately needs them, or give them to a family in need. Honestly, even if you decided they just fill a hole on your bookshelf, it's fine to not sell.

 

Wish her good luck, and let this one go.

[HomeAgain]

Well, it's rude of her to try to get you to sell after you gave a polite no.  It's just rude. 

 

I'm a nice person.  I give books away when we no longer need them, I try to help others find what they need...but I'm not a fan of people who forget common decency.  And when I give something away, it's on my terms, not because I feel guilted into it.  A firm no has been given, I wouldn't carry the conversation further with someone who won't listen.

[LucyStoner]

I've been burned by a few online "buyers", usually ones with sob stories. A mom who asked me for free stuff/a super deal and then used my own pictures to relist the stuff for a lot more money as soon as she got it. A couple of people people who agreed to one price and then try and get a discount by randomly paying less or emailing me afterwards and asking for a partial refund for some made up reason. Color me skeptical I guess.

 

If you want to keep them, keep them.

 

If you want to sell, sell.

 

If your want to gift them, give them.

 

Don't be swayed by stories, drama or the buyer's anger though.

Edited August 5, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Vida Winter]

If you decided to keep using your books just do so. She'll get over it.

 

[katilac]

I wouldn't respond further. 

 

Trying to convince you to sell after you said you weren't is crossing boundaries. 

 

Ideally, you would have taken the ad down or just responded that they weren't available anymore, but that's nothing to feel tremendous guilt over. Changing your mind is no different in result than someone else buying them; they aren't available. 

[TX Native]

Changing my entire answer because I reread OP and don't see where the lady is asking for them free, just that she liked the low price advertised. I would have just apologized for leaving the ad up (I would have probably forgotten if there was no response for a while) and that they are no longer for sale. Since you already told her you are keeping them, I would just apologize. If you want to offer the one for sale at original or discounted price that is a duplicate that is up to you. I would be hesitant to give them away to a stranger who gives a sad money story because there is no way of knowing if it is true. I would give to someone IRL that I knew truly needed the materials or just because. I received many things for free, but I never asked for them. I have given away free curriculum books, but no one has ever asked me for free books.

Edited August 5, 2016 by TX native