Entering School...

[Heatdodge]

My just-turned-11 yr old is now suddenly going to be entering public school (in about 3 weeks).  He does not want to be homeschooled this year, and we have always planned to hold him back a grade based on his late birthday if he went to traditional school, so he will be entering 5th.  I am utterly unprepared for this.  He has undiagnosed (because you all just convinced me to go ahead with an eval like a week ago) dyscalculia, dyslexia, and dysgraphia (in orders of magnitude).  But he is a very bright and easy to get along with child (to everyone but his parents :/).

 

What should I expect?  When I call to register will they want to test him first for grade level (he is well below in math, reading and writing - like 2nd), or just put him in class and let the teacher observe him?  I'm assuming that I won't gain much by putting off his first day, plus as a kid who's never been to school and hasn't been trained in all the standing in line and handraising etc (although he picks up on social stuff really quickly), it seems like he'd be best served starting new on the first day when it's everyone else's first day of fifth too.  But maybe I'm wrong.  Perhaps he'd do better as the "new kid" entering the classroom later in the season, and then could benefit from getting testing and eval (and ideally an IEP set up) BEFORE entering the classroom.  I have no idea. I should mention, he has no qualms entering a new situation as "the new kid" and makes friends quickly, I'm just thinking along the lines of not wanting him to miss the teacher laying out the rules and her expectations for the year, where things are, order of the day, etc.

 

I know he'll balk at starting late - he's very gung ho about this exciting new experience.  But he also doesn't believe he has any learning differences and that public school will be vindication for him (I'm "not teaching him enough and that's why he's behind") and frankly, he thinks it will be easy and he will excel quickly.  A part of me wishes he would try it and then come running back to me with a new appreciation for my "skillz" and the creative freedom (not to mention physical activity freedom and access to the outdoors) that homeschooling has allowed him!  But obviously, I want this to be as positive an experience as possible, despite the fact that it is not what we would choose for him as far as traditional school goes (we lobbyed for trying for a scholarship in Jan to a private school, but he didn't want to wait).

 

I don't know how to proceed or what to expect from the public school.  Will they just assume he was poorly homeschooled until his teacher has time to assess otherwise?  I feel like he will be lost academically in all but science and social studies.  Anyone with experience in this?  This is a child who can be as difficult at home as he is amazing in public, so I don't want to start a new fight by telling him can't start at the beginning of the school year, unless I know it's really the best choice.  I will obviously put my foot down if it is.  But I just am lost as far as guessing what will happen once I start the ball rolling.  

 

P.S. He will be going out of district and spending half the week at his grandparents' in order to do this - our district is NOT an option. So that's an additional stressor for me (and him a little bit too).

[Arcadia]

This is going to vary by school and school district. My local schools would test at start of the school year and did not test for kids who enter after the 3rd week of school.

My friend was surprised that they didn't test when they moved here after school started. The class teacher did test her son and his classmates at the end of trimester one.

 

Are you going for school district evaluation or private evaluation? My district is not experienced with dyscalculia, dyslexia, and dysgraphia so they would need whoever they hire to do the testing to be a good/experienced tester.

 

Also for kids staying with relatives to attend an out of district school, do bear in mind that some popular districts do expect the kid to be at the relative's home during weekdays. Mine does check if someone log a complain. Districts that are highly popular do house calls to verify address. I know two neighbors who have moved in with parents for out of district schools for their kids. They come back on weekends sometimes but not on weekdays.

[Ottakee]

I would start at the beginning of the school year. You can request in writing right now that they start the IEP process but it likely won't start until the beginning of the school year.

 

Depending on the school and situation you might need some legal documentation for grandparents etc as some schools check very closely on where the child lives.

[Lecka]

I would start at the beginning of the year.

 

My kids are in public school, and he will not be the only one performing below grade level.

 

Early in the school year, the first two weeks to the first month, things are starting slowly while teachers do get an idea, and set their (non-academic) classroom routines and expectations.

 

You can also talk to his teacher, etc.

 

Good luck, I hope it goes well.

[Storygirl]

My kids entered school for the first time last year (private, not public), and it definitely required a transition period.

 

I agree with putting him in at the beginning of the year instead of partway through. I would go ahead and file a request with the special education department to have him evaluated for learning disabilities. If you need help with how to proceed with that, people on the boards can give you advice.

 

Yes, it is possible that they will deny evaluations until the teachers see the need. They did that for us, even though we had private evaluations in hand. You won't know, though, until you try, because each school has its own culture and procedures, even though they must follow federal law.

 

Your son may have a rude awakening, so be prepared. DD11 started fourth grade knowing that she is dyslexic and understanding that she has some trouble with academics. She knew and accepted that about herself. Yet she was utterly devastated by her difficulties at the beginning of the year. She had screaming fits every night and demanded to be allowed to quit school and return to homeschooling. So yes, this kind of thing can happen. You won't know until you are in the thick of it, but try to prepare him as best as you can. You mention that you secretly hope he will want to return to homeschooling. I wouldn't expect his opinions on that to be fully formed in the first semester of school, even if he has the kind of reaction DD did. We worked through her issues, and midway through the year, she loved being at school (though she still doesn't like the difficulties that are due to her LDs, naturally).

 

In addition to asking the school district to evaluate him and starting that process, touch base with his teachers at the beginning of the year. Either write a letter or (better) ask for a parent-teacher conference after the first few days or week of school. The administration of the school is not likely to pass on to his teachers any of the things that you tell them when you request evaluations. The teachers won't know any of his background unless you tell them yourself. Sometimes schools refrain from giving the information to the teachers purposefully, because they want the teachers to get to know the students without any preconceptions. Don't go along with that. Communicate well with the teachers and ask them for feedback. The administration is likely to listen to the teachers' opinions over yours, so as soon as the teachers express some concerns, ask them to write it down. Ask them if they would support having the school evaluate him. Try to get them on your side.

 

I also think you are walking a line with enrolling him in a different school district. Make sure you know the legal definitions of being a resident, and follow them. Where we lived before, a family had to face legal proceedings for using a grandparent's address for registration, even though the kids were there part time.

 

Are you planning to stay with him at the grandparent's house? I would be wary of enrolling him in school and having grandparents supervise homework and deal with the emotional aspects of beginning school for the first time, without you there. If you are not living with them, are they going to have some kind of legal guardianship?

 

During the IEP process, they will detail his living situation in their background information -- who he lives with and why. I would guess that they will scrutinize your situation carefully, because special education is expensive, and they won't want to do it for someone who is not a true resident. You will be bringing your family to their attention through the IEP process, so you won't be able to stay in the background and not have anyone notice that his address belongs to his grandparents instead of his parents.

 

Make sure you know the laws and follow them. And make sure being away from home will not add extra stress or trauma to what may already be a tricky transition. Have you considered renting an inexpensive apartment in that town?

 

I hope it goes well!

Edited August 4, 2016 by Storygirl

[OneStepAtATime]

Welcome!

 

1.  Yes, start at the beginning of the year.  Absolutely.

2.  Write a letter to the school right now asking them to test your son.

3.  Realize that most schools do not have someone on staff highly trained to tweak out all the details of a complex neurological difference.  Their view is usually just how do we get the child functioning in a classroom.

4.  If you have not read a lot about learning differences such as what you believe your son to have, I would start today.  Get books from the library or your local book store.  If you need recommendations I am sure we can put together a list here on the LC board. :)  Since your son is going to school the first book I would probably grab is "The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan" by Ben Foss since he talks about maneuvering through public school.

5.  Yes, the school is probably going to assume that any struggles he has are because of homeschooling.  Develop a thick skin, hold your ground and expect push back for any accommodations you may suggest.  Work to get them to run the tests.  Be polite but firm.

6.  Document what materials you have used, what targeted work you have done to address his weak areas, where his strengths lie and any accommodations you were using at home, etc.  Make it look as clear to them as possible that you have homeschooled with due diligence and his struggles are not because of homeschooling.

7.  Plan on him being extremely tired at the end of each day.  He will need an early bed time and time to adjust to the change in environment and schedule.  If he isn't already in sync with the school day, try and get him headed that way.  Fatigue may derail this as much as the learning challenges.

8.  You will need to be VERY organized with his stuff.  The school may send tons of papers home to sign, review, whatever.  Especially the first week.  Not just your kid.  All the kids.  The teacher doesn't have time to micromanage everyone.  Your son, in 5th grade, will be expected to function fairly independently for keeping up with assignments and forms and homework.  You and the grandparents are going to have to stay in sync with each other, your son and the school.  

9.  Help his grandparents establish a routine for when he comes back from school.  

• Backpack is checked immediately for any forms or anything special he needs for projects.  Plus check for homework.  Backpack goes in the same place every day when he isn't using it.
• Clothes are laid out the night before, including shoes and socks.
• Backpack is repacked with everything the night before, including homework and any filled out forms.
• If he brings a lunch, make sure there is a plan for what it will be the night before.  Don't have lunches slapped together at the last minute.  It may make him late for school.
• Any due dates are written down where grandparents can see and help remind him.  Make sure ALL of you can see these dates and keep track. Keep everyone on the same page.
• If the teacher has e-mail communication don't bombard him/her with messages but make sure you check in if you are confused/have questions/concerns or your son is struggling, and do it BEFORE something becomes a big issue.

10.  Keep in mind that the classes have a lot of kids.  The teacher has a hard job managing those kids.  Don't expect a ton of one on one attention for your child.

11.  Content learning:  I know you think he will do well with science and history but keep in mind that by 5th grade usually the class is expected to read and write independently and assignments and classroom learning will reflect that.  If he is reading and writing at a 2nd grade level he will fall behind.  You and the teacher need to be proactive at finding ways to help him keep up.  If you can get the materials they are using, either borrowing them from the school or buying them used from Amazon or Abe books or something like that, then do so.  Plan to read to him and help him at home.  See if the teacher will allow you to scribe for him while you go through the process of evaluations.

12.  He will need down time, time to reset his brain.  Keep that down time upbeat and positive.  

 

Good luck and best wishes!  :)

[OneStepAtATime]

My kids entered school for the first time last year (private, not public), and it definitely required a transition period.

 

I agree with putting him in at the beginning of the year instead of partway through. I would go ahead and file a request with the special education department to have him evaluated for learning disabilities. If you need help with how to proceed with that, people on the boards can give you advice.

 

Yes, it is possible that they will deny evaluations until the teachers see the need. They did that for us, even though we had private evaluations in hand. You won't know, though, until you try, because each school has its own culture and procedures, even though they must follow federal law.

 

Your son may have a rude awakening, so be prepared. DD11 started fourth grade knowing that she is dyslexic and understanding that she has some trouble with academics. She knew and accepted that about herself. Yet she was utterly devastated by her difficulties at the beginning of the year. She had screaming fits every night and demanded to be allowed to quit school and return to homeschooling. So yes, this kind of thing can happen. You won't know until you are in the thick of it, but try to prepare him as best as you can. You mention that you secretly hope he will want to return to homeschooling. I wouldn't expect his opinions on that to be fully formed in the first semester of school, even if he has the kind of reaction DD did. We worked through her issues, and midway through the year, she loved being at school (though she still doesn't like the difficulties that are due to her LDs, naturally).

 

In addition to asking the school district to evaluate him and starting that process, touch base with his teachers at the beginning of the year. Either write a letter or (better) ask for a parent-teacher conference after the first few days or week of school. The administration of the school is not likely to pass on to his teachers any of the things that you tell them when you request evaluations. The teachers won't know any of his background unless you tell them yourself. Sometimes schools refrain from giving the information to the teachers purposefully, because they want the teachers to get to know the students without any preconceptions. Don't go along with that. Communicate well with the teachers and ask them for feedback. The administration is likely to listen to the teachers' opinions over yours, so as soon as the teachers express some concerns, ask them to write it down. Ask them if they would support having the school evaluate him. Try to get them on your side.

 

I also think you are walking a line with enrolling him in a different school district. Make sure you know the legal definitions of being a resident, and follow them. Where we lived before, a family had to face legal proceedings for using a grandparent's address for registration, even though the kids were there part time.

 

Are you planning to stay with him at the grandparent's house? I would be wary of enrolling him in school and having grandparents supervise homework and deal with the emotional aspects of beginning school for the first time, without you there. If you are not living with them, are they going to have some kind of legal guardianship?

 

During the IEP process, they will detail his living situation in their background information -- who he lives with and why. I would guess that they will scrutinize your situation carefully, because special education is expensive, and they won't want to do it for someone who is not a true resident. You will be bringing your family to their attention through the IEP process, so you won't be able to stay in the background and not have anyone notice that his address belongs to his grandparents instead of his parents.

 

Make sure you know the laws and follow them. And make sure being away from home will not add extra stress or trauma to what may already be a tricky transition. Have you considered renting an inexpensive apartment in that town?

 

I hope it goes well!

I wanted to reiterate what Storygirl and others have said, by the way.  Reread her post carefully....

[Heatdodge]

Thank you all for so much helpful info.  So many good points raised (and a lot of my concerns verified)!  After looking more carefully into the legal aspect, we found that we would need to actually pay tuition for being out of the county.  That (on top of everything else) made the situation untenable.  So we put our parental foot down and said his only option at this point is to work really hard this year and focus on making himself attractive to a private school so that he could qualify for a scholarship for next year.  I'm not paying private school prices for a public school education.  I've always said I would never put a kid through the middle school experience, but I'll worry about that when we get to January.  Who knows where things will stand by then.