Boundaries by Townsend--is there a secular equivalent?

[maize]

Can someone point me to a good secular book about boundaries? I need a resource to give to someone for whom the religious references would be a turn off.

[Alexigail]

"Who's Pulling your Strings?"  is a good book.  However, it depends a lot on what kinds of boundaries you're looking to establish.  

[maize]

"Who's Pulling your Strings?"  is a good book.  However, it depends a lot on what kinds of boundaries you're looking to establish.  

 

Thanks, I will take a look at that.

[ktgrok]

I can't remember if "codependent no more" is religious or not. 

[Acadie]

I just started a book I really like so far, Anne Katherine's Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day.  She gives lots of examples of conversations that cross boundaries, explains why, and suggests different kinds of things you can say to maintain your boundaries.

 

I haven't read her other book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, which sounds like a more general treatment of the concept of boundaries, perhaps fewer example conversations. For me the examples in the first book are helpful because once you understand the concept, the rubber hits the road in actual conversation and interaction with other people.

 

Amy

[Scarlett]

I have had the Townsend book Boundaries recommended so many times.,,but I have no interest in reading a religious book on that subject.

 

So yeah, me too.

Edited August 3, 2016 by Scarlett

[Joanne]

I haven't written it yet. :)

 

That said, and this is significant from me: The Cloud and Townsend book is not a turn off for most non Christians. Really. It is GOOD  info.

[Seasider]

I agree that Boundaries contains enough good non religious info that it's worth reading. I understand, though, that you're sensitive because it's something you want to pass along to a friend. It's especially good for its warnings on what to expect in terms of pushback when you do establish boundaries, and how to handle that.

[Seasider]

I just started a book I really like so far, Anne Katherine's Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day. She gives lots of examples of conversations that cross boundaries, explains why, and suggests different kinds of things you can say to maintain your boundaries.

 

I haven't read her other book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, which sounds like a more general treatment of the concept of boundaries, perhaps fewer example conversations. For me the examples in the first book are helpful because once you understand the concept, the rubber hits the road in actual conversation and interaction with other people.

 

Amy

Thanks for these recommendations, I've not heard these titles before.

[Caique1031]

I had this same question and read Seasider’s response. I’m so grateful to have Where to Draw the Line by Anne Katherine and her previous book on boundaries. Perfect recommendation. I respect your request @Maize for a secular book and even found previous comments that it’s a religious book but you’ll like it anyhow inconsiderate. To my fellow religious neighbors, it is easy for us to decide that someone would like the book anyhow because the religious elements didn’t offend us and in fact felt comforting. It takes time and effort to see from someone else’s viewpoint and we owe them that effort. Those elements put a distance between learning and a non-religious reader. When we say you’ll like it anyhow, we may be deciding that the religion layer is good for them even if they don’t know it yet. That is presumptuous. This book Where to Draw the Line even has a chapter on spiritual boundaries that is well worth our attention. I am the most religious, pious member of our congregation and I personally found Boundaries by Dr Townsend over-the-top preachy. I felt drowned in references and I LOVE the scriptures. Grateful for the references but it was extra heavy. Best of luck to christian and secular neighbors alike!