How to know if you have outgrown your piano teacher?

[Tracy]

Dd11 has been taking formal piano lessons for about 4 years with the same teacher.  Dd really has a gift for music, and especially the piano.  She consistently chooses pieces that seem far beyond her ability and persistently works on them until she can play them.  One piece took her 9 months to master.  

 

It took me a long time to find a piano teacher.  Dd is 2e, and she has little patience for busy work, nor does she tolerate someone telling her that she has to master one thing before starting another.  She finds it difficult to practice something outside of its context.  She craves intellectual stimulation and connections across disciplines.  This teacher was homeschooled, and she also homeschooled her own children.  She is extremely tolerant, and even encouraging, of dd's rabbit trails.  She intentionally shares tidbits from music theory, languages, composers, etc.  I had been concerned that dd seemed resistant to doing things suggested by her teacher, and the teacher told me not to worry about it, because she says that the suggested changes generally turn up the next week.  So in a nutshell, this teacher "gets" my kid.  

 

In the past year, I have gotten the impression that there is little teaching going on.  She seems to largely just sit next to dd while dd plays whatever she wants.  At the recital in April, she introduced dd as one who is largely self-taught.  She doesn't suggest pieces for her to work on.  (Dd would probably be resistant to that, anyway.)  She doesn't help her set goals.  I have asked her to help her make a list of things she wants to work on, but she doesn't do it, so I have to make sure that dd does that on her own (which means it often does not happen).  

 

She does seem to be progressing in that she is making her way through pieces that she chooses and then chooses new ones to work on.  She practices even when not required to.  She has played at church a couple of times.  To give you an idea of where she is at, this is a song that she has worked on over the summer on her own without her teacher.  It took her a couple of weeks to master it.  

 

I am pleased with where she is at.  I just don't know if this teacher is doing her any good at this point.  It is a lot of money to pay someone to just sit and listen to her play.  I don't think I have another option for a piano teacher, though.  This teacher comes to my house, and I am sure there is no one else in this area who will come to my house, not to mention be so tolerant of my quirky kid.  

 

The piano teacher also teaches flute.  I happen to own a flute.  So I was thinking of starting her on flute lessons.  But do I have her do both?  Or maybe I should just save the money and not have her do lessons at all?  

 

I would appreciate any insight or wisdom the Hive has to offer.  

Edited July 27, 2016 by Tracy

[Arcadia]

My DS11 is also quirky, maybe not the same way but still quirky. Does your daughter want to learn flute? My DS10 learns flute but DS11 has the talent and no interest. No way I want to nag DS11 to take flute lessons.

 

For piano, my former piano teacher had told students if they exceed her ability to teach. She will try to source for better qualified teachers among her music teachers circle. As for your daughter's teacher, I don't know what is your criteria for continuing to pay for lessons.

 

We change cello teachers for DS11. For us it was an easy decision because the previous teacher is making my kid lose joy in cello practices. His current teacher is more flexible and able to cope with his intensity and perfectionism. My DS11 looks self taught but the pointers his current teacher gives is helpful. Without his teacher, he would have given up on the harder pieces due to perfectionism. So for us, it is worth continuing even if progress seems slow.

 

ETA:

My kids self teach piano. It's not easy to find local music teachers who can cope with quirky kids so I am in no rush to push formal lessons.

Edited July 27, 2016 by Arcadia

[wintermom]

Maybe you could ask to sit in on a few of your dd's lessons and closely observe what's happening. I sit in on every single lesson of my 4 dc (they play violin and classical guitar), and have done so since they started their instruments. I have full knowledge of what the teacher does with them, what her expectations are, and how my dc respond and work during the week. You have the expert knowledge of your child, how they work best, and what they do between lessons. You may be able to see what is happening in the lessons, and help support the teacher in providing more direct instruction to your child. Most teachers really want to help their students improve, but if they don't know how to reach your child and help them move forward, they are limited. You may believe that this teacher "gets" your child, but when the songs get more challenging and a different kind of discipline in practicing (scales, arpeggios, chords, finger exercises) is often required, your child may be resisting doing these things with the teacher. You may have strategies to help facilitate these exercises at home during practice time. A lot of music playing is muscle memory building through hours of technical exercises (not necessarily hours/day, but over months and years). Some children tolerate doing these more than others.

Edited July 27, 2016 by wintermom

[Tracy]

Anyway, all that ranting is to say--if you have a gut feeling, go with it. If your goal is progression in music and it's not happening, then CHANGE!

 

The problem is that I am just not sure. From what I can tell she is progressing way more quickly than I thought she would.  But I don't know if that is normal or exceptional or what.  And getting another teacher is not an option.  There is no one else who will come to my home, and my health is not going to allow me to take her to someone else who will be 30 minutes or more away from me.  

[Another Lynn]

I think I would be thrilled to have a teacher who comes to you AND who gets your daughter.  Just because your daughter is doing a lot of "self-teaching" doesn't necessarily mean she would keep doing it without the piano lessons.  Just having another adult who understands and engages your child is a positive, imho.  Let the money go and keep the piano teacher.  jmho.  

[PeterPan]

I always get in trouble when I say things straight, but I'll say it anyway.  That piece is not a challenging piece. That's a good accomplishment and great diligence, yes!  But I think at some point you have to say ok, is it the TEACHER holding back the child, or is it the CHILD holding back the teacher?  

 

Another teacher might be able to bust through some of that with some kind of firmness, but personally I think it's a lot to ask a teacher to solve a SN dc's behavioral problems.  And once you say a dc is quirky, whatever you think is going on, I'm saying her behavior is challenging enough, not compliant enough, rigid enough, that this teacher, with four years of extreme patience and a dc who is willing to practice, couldn't get through a level of instruction she PROBABLY would have wanted to and been competent to.

 

So the problem isn't the teacher but the challenging behavior.  And my ds is challenging and I've had to hit that wall a bit.  And if that's not what you think is going on, fine.  And if that's not the way you see it, that's fine too.  I'm just saying that's what I see.  That piece is simple enough that the skills would have been covered in any standard piano book progression if she were compliant and just doing it.  

 

I would get work on her social thinking, her flexibility, so she can receive instruction at the level she's clearly wanting.  A new teacher can't be expected to solve a social thinking problem.  

 

Edited July 28, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[Tracy]

I always get in trouble when I say things straight, but I'll say it anyway.  That piece is not a challenging piece. That's a good accomplishment and great diligence, yes!  But I think at some point you have to say ok, is it the TEACHER holding back the child, or is it the CHILD holding back the teacher?  

 

Another teacher might be able to bust through some of that with some kind of firmness, but personally I think it's a lot to ask a teacher to solve a SN dc's behavioral problems.  And once you say a dc is quirky, whatever you think is going on, I'm saying her behavior is challenging enough, not compliant enough, rigid enough, that this teacher, with four years of extreme patience and a dc who is willing to practice, couldn't get through a level of instruction she PROBABLY would have wanted to and been competent to.

 

So the problem isn't the teacher but the challenging behavior.  And my ds is challenging and I've had to hit that wall a bit.  And if that's not what you think is going on, fine.  And if that's not the way you see it, that's fine too.  I'm just saying that's what I see.  That piece is simple enough that the skills would have been covered in any standard piano book progression if she were compliant and just doing it.  

 

I would get work on her social thinking, her flexibility, so she can receive instruction at the level she's clearly wanting.  A new teacher can't be expected to solve a social thinking problem.  

 

Are you suggesting that we stay with the same teacher and work on the behavior?

 

Yes, I know that there are some behavioral issues that we need to work on.  Or at least I think so. The problem is that the teacher doesn't seem to think so.  She doesn't seem to be at all bothered.  Or maybe she is and she doesn't know it, but just unconsciously avoids asking her to do things.  

 

I have tried talking to the teacher.  When I bring up the behavior, she tells me not to worry about it, because she does still make the changes she is asked to, just not on the spot.  I have also asked her to write a list of things dd should be working on so that she can go through them when she practices.  But she just doesn't do it.  

 

I am not sure how to work on the behavior if the teacher doesn't seem to see a problem.  I have had some talks with dd and told her I am expecting her to do as the teacher asks.  That has has some impact.  But mostly I feel that my hands are tied.  I couldn't get a new teacher even if I thought that was what we needed.  And I don't really think it is going to be a good solution.  I would just trade one problem for another.  

[Arcadia]

I have also asked her to write a list of things dd should be working on so that she can go through them when she practices. But she just doesn't do it.

My kids' music teachers require all their students to have a music practice notebook. My kids would write down the date and all the instructions like which scales, arpeggios, pieces are to be practice for homework and any further detailed instructions e.g. four octaves for scales.

 

I would just ask your daughter to do that since she is 11. No point waiting for teacher.

[Tracy]

My kids' music teachers require all their students to have a music practice notebook. My kids would write down the date and all the instructions like which scales, arpeggios, pieces are to be practice for homework and any further detailed instructions e.g. four octaves for scales.

 

I would just ask your daughter to do that since she is 11. No point waiting for teacher.

 

I sort of do this.  Dd keeps a list of pieces that she is currently working on.  But that is it.  I don't know enough about piano to know what else she should be working on.  

[Arcadia]

I sort of do this. Dd keeps a list of pieces that she is currently working on. But that is it. I don't know enough about piano to know what else she should be working on.

It is for writing while the teacher gives instructions during lesson time. So for example:

Ode to joy - practice 5 times daily, take note of tempo and expressions

Scales - c, g, d, a majors four octaves

Nina - work on first 16 bars, try the rest of the piece

 

For piano, I was taught:

Scales and Arpeggios from the ABRSM scale book

Pieces from a few books

Sightreading from a sightreading practice book

Aural listening from a book with tape/cd

Music theory from a book and workbooks

[Incognito]

I think you will be more satisfied if you get your DD writing (or you writing) the expected work in a notebook.  1 page a lesson, usually.  Not tons of stuff, just the cliff notes on what is to be done.

 

FWIW, that piece is not simple, but it is not super complex either.  Would you be more satisfied if your child was doing something like following the Royal Academy of Music, so you could get an idea of what level they are working at?  Could YOU choose a book for your child to progress through?  Something from Ferber and Ferber, perhaps?  Or does your teacher have a plan, but you don't perhaps see it?  

[MinivanMom]

Is the piano teacher a "church pianist"? I have often observed that many church pianist-type teachers don't have very high expectations or goals for their students. The goal is to be able to play accompaniment at church and nothing beyond. The piece you linked is exactly the type that I would expect a church pianist to assign to a student and then be so amazed and delighted that the student mastered it and can now play at church.

 

What classical pieces is your daughter working on? Does the teacher assign her scales and arpeggios to work on? Do they work on sight-reading or aural skills? Has she ever had your daughter prepare for piano competitions or adjudications? How many recitals does your daughter have to prepare for per year? Why isn't the teacher writing the assignments in the notebook and setting goals for your daughter? You shouldn't have to be doing that as a mother. 

 

I think you need to think about your goals for your daughter and your daughter's goals for herself. If she shows talent and has a desire to continue with piano, then I would be seriously considering a switch. There are qualified teachers with high standards who know how to be gentle and work with more spirited kids. Unless you are very rural, you should be able to find another teacher that isn't a substantial drive. Or you could schedule lessons for the evening or on Saturday mornings and let your husband drive her instead. I think there are probably several options here that could work even with the challenge of not being able to drive far.

[Tracy]

I think you will be more satisfied if you get your DD writing (or you writing) the expected work in a notebook.  1 page a lesson, usually.  Not tons of stuff, just the cliff notes on what is to be done.

 

FWIW, that piece is not simple, but it is not super complex either.  Would you be more satisfied if your child was doing something like following the Royal Academy of Music, so you could get an idea of what level they are working at?  Could YOU choose a book for your child to progress through?  Something from Ferber and Ferber, perhaps?  Or does your teacher have a plan, but you don't perhaps see it?  

I certainly think that she will be more focused if she writes what is to be done.  She will feel more ownership of it.  Unfortunately, it is extremely time-consuming to have her do it.  When I just make her write a list of pieces she is working on, it takes her at least an hour.  It is not because she doesn't want to do it.  She actually likes doing it.  But deciding what to write and how to write it is just very complex for her.  I have tried to separate writing from everything else she does for this reason.  

 

I don't know what the Royal Academy of Music is.  She had been using the Hal Leonard series.  She liked them, because the music had feelings.  But she flew through levels 3 and 4, hardly using the books at all, because they became too easy for her.  The series only goes through Book 5, so I didn't bother buying it for her since she was tackling more difficult pieces on her own.  

 

I am perfectly happy to get her more books.  I have asked her if she wants more books, and she is pretty happy playing pieces out of our church hymnal and children's songbook.  (As parents, our goal for her is to be able to play at church, since we only use pianists on a volunteer basis.)  But I would get her a book if it fit in with a plan, and I am perfectly happy to branch out into other genres. Actually, I would really like to see her play different types of music.   

 

I honestly don't think that the teacher has a plan.  She very much seems an unschooling sort of teacher.  At the recital, dd was by far the best pianist there, even though there were high school aged kids who has been taking piano since they were in kindergarten.  I have seen kids who started out way more advanced than dd who, four years later, are still playing at the same level as they were when I first heard them.  So compared to her other students, dd is progressing much faster.  So from the teacher's perspective, she is some sort of prodigy.  

 

So if you have suggestions on books or specific goals we should consider, I would very much appreciate your insight.

[Tracy]

Is the piano teacher a "church pianist"? I have often observed that many church pianist-type teachers don't have very high expectations or goals for their students. The goal is to be able to play accompaniment at church and nothing beyond. The piece you linked is exactly the type that I would expect a church pianist to assign to a student and then be so amazed and delighted that the student mastered it and can now play at church.

 

What classical pieces is your daughter working on? Does the teacher assign her scales and arpeggios to work on? Do they work on sight-reading or aural skills? Has she ever had your daughter prepare for piano competitions or adjudications? How many recitals does your daughter have to prepare for per year? Why isn't the teacher writing the assignments in the notebook and setting goals for your daughter? You shouldn't have to be doing that as a mother. 

 

I think you need to think about your goals for your daughter and your daughter's goals for herself. If she shows talent and has a desire to continue with piano, then I would be seriously considering a switch. There are qualified teachers with high standards who know how to be gentle and work with more spirited kids. Unless you are very rural, you should be able to find another teacher that isn't a substantial drive. Or you could schedule lessons for the evening or on Saturday mornings and let your husband drive her instead. I think there are probably several options here that could work even with the challenge of not being able to drive far.

 

She is a church pianist, but she appears to be a very accomplished classical pianist.  She and her grown daughter have both played amazing classical pieces at the recitals.  The piece that I shared was not a piece assigned by the teacher, but one dd found on her own and wanted to play.  However, we started piano lessons with the minimal goal of learning to play for church.  But dd has enough talent and interest to go beyond that.  

 

She is not working on any classical pieces right now and hasn't for some time.  The closest she has come has been a Piano Guys piece - Rolling in the Deep (a simplified version). 

 

The teacher does not assign scales or arpeggios.  We have a scales book that dd worked in on her own for a while.  

 

We don't have a sight-reading book, but she does do a lot of sight-reading.  She is always looking for new songs to play.  I am more concerned with having her stick with something until it is mastered. 

 

The teacher writes what they do during the lesson.  But she doesn't write what is to be worked on.  I think she puts a checkmark by it if she considers it mastered, thinking that she can just look at whatever doesn't have a checkmark by it.  .  But it is not in a format that is easy to read, understand and work from.  That is why I asked her to help dd make her own list.  When I saw she wasn't doing that, I started working with dd to make her own list.  

 

We are fairly rural.  When I was looking for a piano teacher, it took me a year to find one.  Everyone else I found was too far away.  

[Arcadia]

From your description of the recital performance, I would think it is high time to change teachers.

 

As for pieces your daughter choose of her own accord, I'll let her decide if she wants to master them. I would only expect mastery from assigned pieces.

[MinivanMom]

She is a church pianist, but she appears to be a very accomplished classical pianist.  She and her grown daughter have both played amazing classical pieces at the recitals.  The piece that I shared was not a piece assigned by the teacher, but one dd found on her own and wanted to play.  However, we started piano lessons with the minimal goal of learning to play for church.  But dd has enough talent and interest to go beyond that.  

 

She is not working on any classical pieces right now and hasn't for some time.  The closest she has come has been a Piano Guys piece - Rolling in the Deep (a simplified version). 

 

The teacher does not assign scales or arpeggios.  We have a scales book that dd worked in on her own for a while.  

 

*snip*

 

We are fairly rural.  When I was looking for a piano teacher, it took me a year to find one.  Everyone else I found was too far away.  

 

Okay, this is the part that concerns me. The piano teacher may be an accomplished classical pianist herself, but she's not going to be training up future classical pianists if this is how she teaches all her students. And you really shouldn't have to do the legwork assigning scales or helping your daughter find pieces to sight-read or work on. That's what you pay the teacher for!

 

Honestly, it doesn't sound like this teacher is going to help your daughter progress beyond the level she's at now. And no matter how much natural talent and motivation your daughter has, she really needs a good teacher to help her to develop and progress. A good teacher will do all these things that you've been doing and worrying about, so the only thing you have to do is figure out a way to get her to the lessons.

 

You say that you are rural. That's hard, but here are some ideas:

-How far away are you from the nearest town with a piano store? I would try calling there or actually going into the store to ask for suggestions for a teacher. Piano stores often keep lists of local piano teachers.

-I would also check to see if your Nearest-Big-City has a piano teacher's association. You can contact them for teacher suggestions. Our association actually keeps a list on their website of all the teachers who are members and a list of teachers who are currently accepting students. Our association is based in the city, but there are many teachers listed with our association who actually live in more rural areas up to an hour or more outside the city.

-You can also try the nearest college or university with a music department. Many music departments run community music programs that offer lessons for students (often with Sat lesson slots). It is also common for the music professors to run private studios on the side. They also might be able to suggest undergrad or grad piano majors who would be interested in teaching lessons on the side.

-I would also check the website for your state piano association and for your state music association. Our state association also maintains a list on their website of piano teachers who are members.

[wintermom]

If the lesssons are in your home, are you not able to sit and take notes yourself during the lessons? You don't have to be a musician yourself to do this. Thousands of Suzuki parents do it everyday, and many do not have a musical background. You learn yourself while observing the lesson.

 

Here is a syllabus of piano examinations from the Royal Conservatory of Music (Canada). It's pretty standard for the western world of classical music. It lists the scales, arpeggios, scales, studies and repetoire for all piano levels. You don't have to buy the RCM books, as you can find the music in other books and music stores, and probably on-line as well. 

https://examinations.rcmusic.ca/sites/default/files/files/RCM-Piano-Syllabus-2015.pdf

 

[PeterPan]

Ok, I learned to play with "just a church pianist" and it was a very positive experience that left me with lifelong pleasure.  When we moved, my mom tried to put me in with a classical pianist who played violin with the orchestra.  She had me playing scales, blah blah.  What a waste!  It was just a mismatch of personality and goals.  So me, I think there's lots of room for what your teacher (or someone similar) is doing!  Right now your dd ENJOYS what she's doing, and that could change with a quirky kid if you had a radical change of temperament in the teacher.  It might be that the way this teacher is so laid back is WHY your dd is enjoying it so much.

 

Yes, that would be a typical response, for the teacher to back off and decrease demands when the dc is not able to comply with demands.  Grandparents do it, everyone does it.  She's saying she can work with it, and she is.  She's NOT your behaviorist and she's not there to solve your behavior challenges.  If you want those solved, you won't be getting much piano done.  And personally, I'd work on the behavior in a DIFFERENT context and let the piano time improve naturally as her skill builds and as she generalizes the concepts.

 

To work on the social thinking, you can go to SocialThinking.com and look for materials or hire a behaviorist.  It may be easier to find a behaviorist than you anticipate.  Sometimes you'll find SLPs or OTs who are trained in Social Thinking materials as well.  Just reading what you've described, I think a run through some social thinking materials would be helpful.  The concepts build and it's easy to carry them over to life and get them to apply.  You could work on it yourself or hire someone.

 

No, it would not be common (I don't think) for a piano teacher to write out everything that needs to be worked on.  Some teachers will make a practice list of the pieces, but I don't know that that's common. Usually there are just 3-4 pieces, so the teacher will date or the student will just remember.  Then they do checkmarks or stickers to show completion, yes.  And as far as what they're actually working on, no I wouldn't expect a list.  I'd expect to see some markings on the music itself where the teacher was marking phrasing, dynamics, etc.  But beyond that, nah.  

 

Are the other students with this teacher satisfied?  Does the teacher use a standard piano instruction series and work through it sequentially?  That would be concerning if she's not using a standard curriculum of some sort.  The songs are typically a little odd, but they work you through the basics and build skills efficiently.  If she's not doing that, that would be like the bare minimum (all other things excusable) and I'd find a new teacher, yes.

[Tracy]

If the lesssons are in your home, are you not able to sit and take notes yourself during the lessons? You don't have to be a musician yourself to do this. Thousands of Suzuki parents do it everyday, and many do not have a musical background. You learn yourself while observing the lesson.

 

Here is a syllabus of piano examinations from the Royal Conservatory of Music (Canada). It's pretty standard for the western world of classical music. It lists the scales, arpeggios, scales, studies and repetoire for all piano levels. You don't have to buy the RCM books, as you can find the music in other books and music stores, and probably on-line as well. 

https://examinations.rcmusic.ca/sites/default/files/files/RCM-Piano-Syllabus-2015.pdf

 

Over the past 2 years, I could not have sat with them to take notes.  I think my health may be good enough now that I could do it.  

 

 

Ok, I learned to play with "just a church pianist" and it was a very positive experience that left me with lifelong pleasure.  When we moved, my mom tried to put me in with a classical pianist who played violin with the orchestra.  She had me playing scales, blah blah.  What a waste!  It was just a mismatch of personality and goals.  So me, I think there's lots of room for what your teacher (or someone similar) is doing!  Right now your dd ENJOYS what she's doing, and that could change with a quirky kid if you had a radical change of temperament in the teacher.  It might be that the way this teacher is so laid back is WHY your dd is enjoying it so much.

 

Yes, that would be a typical response, for the teacher to back off and decrease demands when the dc is not able to comply with demands.  Grandparents do it, everyone does it.  She's saying she can work with it, and she is.  She's NOT your behaviorist and she's not there to solve your behavior challenges.  If you want those solved, you won't be getting much piano done.  And personally, I'd work on the behavior in a DIFFERENT context and let the piano time improve naturally as her skill builds and as she generalizes the concepts.

 

To work on the social thinking, you can go to SocialThinking.com and look for materials or hire a behaviorist.  It may be easier to find a behaviorist than you anticipate.  Sometimes you'll find SLPs or OTs who are trained in Social Thinking materials as well.  Just reading what you've described, I think a run through some social thinking materials would be helpful.  The concepts build and it's easy to carry them over to life and get them to apply.  You could work on it yourself or hire someone.

 

No, it would not be common (I don't think) for a piano teacher to write out everything that needs to be worked on.  Some teachers will make a practice list of the pieces, but I don't know that that's common. Usually there are just 3-4 pieces, so the teacher will date or the student will just remember.  Then they do checkmarks or stickers to show completion, yes.  And as far as what they're actually working on, no I wouldn't expect a list.  I'd expect to see some markings on the music itself where the teacher was marking phrasing, dynamics, etc.  But beyond that, nah.  

 

Are the other students with this teacher satisfied?  Does the teacher use a standard piano instruction series and work through it sequentially?  That would be concerning if she's not using a standard curriculum of some sort.  The songs are typically a little odd, but they work you through the basics and build skills efficiently.  If she's not doing that, that would be like the bare minimum (all other things excusable) and I'd find a new teacher, yes.

 

No, she doesn't work through a particular series.  She will occasionally bring books for them, but most of what we have done is what I choose to purchase.  

 

You have hit the nail on the head in that my overriding concern is that maybe she is enjoying it because of the teacher, and that a different type of teacher might very well quash her love of playing.  OTOH, I have a younger child that I am fairly certain will not excel like his sister has with this teacher.  He will very much need a different kind of teacher to do well.  

 

And, of course, I am reluctant to make another commitment outside of my home, because there were so many days last year that I was unable to drive.  I am feeling better than I was, but I cannot be certain that it will stay that way.  

[PeterPan]

Well maybe keep your eyes peeled for a new teacher who *does* use a standard sequence of some kind.  At the very least you could have this in-home teacher use it.  You can literally just go to a music store and pick something that looks reasonable or ask the teacher if she has one she likes.

 

I learned a LOT playing the way your dd is.  Thing is, I was also doing a regular curriculum, kwim?  How would your dd feel about having a curriculum to help her move forward?  You could ask.  The teachers I had would use both, pairing a curriculum plus a fun/choice book.  That way it wasn't all one or the other.  

[MerryAtHope]

Have you asked your daughter any questions about this? I'd start a casual conversation--does she enjoy piano lessons? Does she feel her teacher is teaching her new things, or does she feel she can learn just as much on her own? Why does she think that? etc... Get some feedback from your daughter on this. 

 

Sitting in on a few lessons is a good idea too. There may be a lot of coaching going on more than direct teaching, you know? 

 

As for the flute--I probably wouldn't start another instrument unless she's interested--but again, I'd ask your dd if she has interest in learning the flute.

 

[wintermom]

Over the past 2 years, I could not have sat with them to take notes.  I think my health may be good enough now that I could do it.  

 

 

Is there a possibility that your current piano teacher has been adapting her teaching and expectations not only to your dd's unique personality, but also to your situation (I'm not sure if it's illness)? If you are not well enough to sit through a weekly lesson to take notes, and the teacher is in your home to witness this, she may well be tailoring the expectations to your whole family situation and not making too many demands on you. Parental support in music education is equally as important as it in an any other area, and if you are somewhat limited, this teacher may be trying to make things easier for you. 

 

Now that you are able to do more, your expectations of the situation are increasing, but the teacher may not have had time to adapt. It might be a good idea to have a chat with her and state your growing concerns. 

Edited July 28, 2016 by wintermom

[G5052]

 

Anyway, all that ranting is to say--if you have a gut feeling, go with it. If your goal is progression in music and it's not happening, then CHANGE!

 

 

I agree. We did lessons with one teacher for five years, and then switched to another for the last five years. DD (12th grade) is debating whether to continue, but had many good years of piano. I'm fine if she wants to quit at this point.

 

I always could hear the lesson because our first teacher had a room next to her music room where parents were welcome to sit. 

 

That teacher was very, very good early on, but then she had some health problems and missed two months of lessons. When she came back, it was not at all the same. She'd get lost herself during the lesson, and I could tell that my kid was not at all as focused as they once were too. I began always calling before leaving because she'd be in her bathrobe or go to lunch with a friend if we didn't.  That teacher decided to take the summer off to work on the health problems,

 

I called another teacher and explained that I was looking for summer lessons to perhaps switch in the fall, and she was fine with that. My kid's first comment -- she caught EVERY ONE of my mistakes! After two months of that, we knew that it was time to switch.

 

I gave the excuse that we were extremely busy and needed a teacher closer to home. Our first teacher was very gracious about it. As it turned out, I was really glad that we left when we did. She continued for another two years but gradually lost all of her students. We left at a good time.

 

My kid went on to play competitively and reached levels that I didn't dream possible. The second teacher really knew how to push her.

[Tracy]

Well maybe keep your eyes peeled for a new teacher who *does* use a standard sequence of some kind.  At the very least you could have this in-home teacher use it.  You can literally just go to a music store and pick something that looks reasonable or ask the teacher if she has one she likes.

 

I learned a LOT playing the way your dd is.  Thing is, I was also doing a regular curriculum, kwim?  How would your dd feel about having a curriculum to help her move forward?  You could ask.  The teachers I had would use both, pairing a curriculum plus a fun/choice book.  That way it wasn't all one or the other.  

 

Dd is overall a fairly compliant child. It is hard for her to comply in the moment you make an immediate demand.  But in the long term, she does what is consistently expected.  Maybe what I need to do is have dd choose her curriculum.  I am confident that she will not choose something that is too easy for her.  And if she picks it, knowing that this is her music curriculum for the year, she will just work through it. If she gets tired of it, she might even push herself to get through it just to be done with it.  Whatever works, though, right?

[Arcadia]

I would discuss with your daughter and work out a learning plan with the teacher. My former piano teacher would work out a learning plan with each of her students after the annual exams so that she know how crazy our academic and other workload is and how much time commitment we can give to piano.

 

For example, I had not enough time for piano exam practice in 10th grade but I had time for music theory because I did the studying during my public school chemistry lectures. So we skip the pianoforte exams that year only doing the music theory exams.

[Tracy]

I do agree that I need to talk to dd about this.  I so often get the typical tween response of "I don't know."  But I do think it would be helpful to have her involved.  So I will talk to her first.  Then I just need to decide if getting her to another teacher is even possible.  Dh is already doing my grocery shopping, and much of the cooking and cleaning.  And he needs to go back to school this fall.  So it is going to depend on whether our family can handle one more outing.  

[PeterPan]

I wouldn't ask her *whether* she wants the new music.  I'd just go to the music store and show her things and say hey the music teacher was thinking we could try having two books...