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Are you close to your siblings?


mommyoffive
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If you have any siblings are you close to them? 

 

I have one and I am not close at all.  I feel a bit bad about it.  Like I should have that Norman Rockwell painting of a perfect family and I don't.  

 

Just stinks.  We weren't really close after being teens, but now it has gotten so crazy strained.  

 

 

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I am sorry you are disappointed. Life is not like a picture. 

 

My sister and I are 18 months apart and very close. We have a lot in common (both teachers, got married the same year, had babies 1 month apart), but we have different temperaments and our husbands are very different. We have a better phone relationship than in person. My husband and his sister are not close at all. 

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Yes, I'd say so.  With busy lives, and living over an hour away, we don't see each other as often as I'd like, but when we do, the relationship is warm.  In fact, just minutes ago, one of my sisters texted me, and the other one posted photos of my daughters on her fb page yesterday.  My brothers aren't as communicative, but when we do get together (a few times a year), we enjoy each other's company - at least I think so.  :P

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I am not close to my siblings.   My husband is not close to his. 

 

I know of people who have close sibling relationships and there have been times I've been jealous of that.  But mostly I have come to accept that I didn't get that. 

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Not really.  I have one brother who is 2 years older than I am. He moved to Florida 25 or so years ago and I only see him once or twice a year at most, sometimes not at all for a few years.  He doesn't talk on the phone, doesn't answer email, isn't on Facebook. 

 

Honestly, I don't know if living closer would make that much of a difference.  We lead very different lives, have very different personalities, interests and opinions.

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I have only one sibling and he is 8.5 years younger so I did lots of rocking the cradle and babysitting. We are still relatively close.

 

My hubby is the youngest of three. He expects his siblings would call or email him if they want to chat. Its cordial but not close. Also his brother was evangelizing so that didn't help.

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I'm the youngest of 7 and am close to all but one sibling but in different ways. The one sibling I'm not close with isn't close with any of us because of his personality. He loves us and we love him and would be there for him in a heartbeat if he needed us but his personality keeps us from being close.

 

I see most of my siblings at least once a week sometimes twice. We like getting together as a family at my parents so cousins can all play and the siblings/significant others can chat. The only one I don't see often enough live over 900 miles away but I am closest with her i think.

 

It is a good thing my family is close because I only have one close nonfamilial friend

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I have two siblings and we're sort of close.  We don't see each other very regularly (one lives too far away for that), but when we do we enjoy each other's company.   We each have our own lives too.  When the kids were younger it was easier because we did try to make a point of getting cousins together.  But now that we have mostly grown or college aged kids it's harder.  Spending time with our own children/grandchildren is a bigger priority.  Maybe once we're all retired, and we have more free time, it will change again.

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Not at all.  

I have a brother that is 6 years younger than me.  He has substance abuse problems, and I last spoke to him about 3 years ago.  

 

I have another brother that is 20 years younger, and he lives about 3.5 hours away.  He's more like a nephew or something.  

 

I also have step-siblings that I don't speak to at all.

I wish I had close siblings, but it just wasn't to be.

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Not at all, but I wish we were. I have two younger brothers, and I love them, but they struggle with loving people who are different from them.

 

I have three girlfriends with whom I have very close relationships, even after many years long distance (these women are not friends with each other, these are my friends individually). We are each the only girl with two brothers and none of us is close with our brothers. I don't know, but perhaps this is something that happens often?

 

Edited: my brothers are very close. I'm so glad they have each other!

Edited by BooksandBoys
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I am. I'm the youngest of three. My sister is six years older and was my unofficial doula for my first two births. I don't see as often as I'd like to because we're almost two hours away now, but at least every couple of months. My brother is three years older, and since he moved back to the area, his family joined the same homeschool group and our daughters are involved in the same activities. All our kids play well together.

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I have three younger sisters (two are biological, one is a step-sister, but I've never considered her a "step" sister; she's mine just like the other two).

 

Yes, we're close. We have our times when we're closer than others, but we talk on the phone, visit when we can (all of us live in different states), but at the end of the day, when crap goes down, we're there for each other. 

 

 

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I'm close to one brother and one sister, but not too close to my brother who is 8 years younger. He was ten when I left home, so I never really had the same relationship. It's not strained, we're just not close. My DH is actually closest to his youngest sibling because their personalities are so similar.

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I have one sibling. We are 3 1/2 years apart. We weren't close as kids at all. Our relationship improved greatly when she left for college.

We are still not Norman Rockwell close. We talk a few times a year. Email and text with a bit more frequency. We see each other once a year maybe twice. We have talked about trying to be closer off and on through the years. We both married people with waltonesque families. So we have tried.

The reality is we are very different people with little in common. However, we are sisters in the sense that we would take each other in if needed, give money if needed, be there for one another in a crisis, no questions asked. You do for family. We don't need to talk frequently to be secure in the knowledge that we wouldn't let the other down if needed.

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My brother and I are not really close because I went out of state for college at the same time he started middle school.  So, we never had a lot in common.  I still live in a different state, so we don't get to see each other very often.

 

My sister and I are sort of close as long as we follow some rules:  we have to live at least several hours away from each other and we are not allowed to discuss religion or politics.  So we have nice visits as often as possible, but they have to be fairly short visits. ;)

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I have one sib that lives 2 blocks away, and two that live 1500 miles away. I either talk to or text each of them (or in a group text) several times a week, and I feel like we are really close to each other. Our dad died when we were in college / early 20's, so we have really relied on each other a lot through our life transitions.

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I used to be estranged from my brother but we're back in touch and I'm glad. His life was a huge mess but he's gotten things in order, which is great. I'm not super close with him, but I'm good with where we are. I'm going cross country to see his new baby next month. I also have step-sibs and we're also not super close, but we get together when we can and get along very well and all that. Dh has a similar relationship with his sister.

 

It would be nice in some ways to have a "Parenthood" closeness with sibs, but whatever. Life is what it is, you know?

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My sister (2 years younger) and I are not particularly close, but every month or two we talk on the phone and catch up a bit. I see her maybe once a year. We were very close as children, but as young teens our interests diverged quite a bit. Now we live 3,000 miles apart. I have young kids, and she has stepkids 5-10 years older than my oldest, though she asks me for advice on occasion. Her moving into family life from her single 20-something life brought us closer because she could relate to me more and stop wondering what I did all day ;).

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I'm close with my younger brother.

 

I'm in a "text only about the logistics of picking up and dropping off his kids" relationship with my older brother.

 

This ain't a Norman Rockwell family but there's a close bond between my family and my brother's family. We live about 45 minutes apart (factoring in traffic), are each married and each have two kids. All four kids are close in age, with our younger kids being just a few weeks apart. We usually see them at select holidays (1-2x around Christmas, Memorial Day and often either Labor Day or the 4th of July, some kid events (games, recitals), kids birthdays, usually at least 1 camping trip a summer and my brother and I get the kids together while our husbands are at work during the summer. My nieces go to school FT so that's a summer thing for us. I have my nieces over here for a 3-5 day "super summer cousin sleepover" about once a summer. Every so often we meet at a restaurant for an adult family birthday party (our dad or occasionally one of us).

 

Because their area is more affordable than ours housing wise and they live in a school district with a high school that interests my son, there's a possibility that when we buy our next house we will be more like 10-15 minutes away.

 

My brother calls me about 2 times a month to chat. More now that his daughter was also dx with ASD. Memorial Day falls on our mother's birthday and my brother and I will generally do something together just us two around that time besides a family gathering/BBQ. If my brother needs a break, sometimes he will randomly call and ask to meet for a drink and cheap happy hour food at a place near where I live. We often do the fair thing with the kids each year.

 

So I'm not sure if that's super close or not but it works for us.m

 

Still, no one will mistake our family portrait for good old fashioned America.

Edited by LucyStoner
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no - we have little contact, and since our mother's death, it has been less though there have been attempts.  we are also extremely different people.

 

I did come to realize the difficulty in the relationships was actually cultivated by our grandmother's mind games and machinations.  the damage she inflicted is difficult to repair. (she's been dead for 24 years.)  I'm the only one who thinks if I threw a bucket of water on her she'd melt.    fairly typical of toxic parents. however, what we've learned about the dynamics of our foo, shows in our relationships with our own children.

 

eta: dh has a good relationship with his siblings -even when they lived states away.  dsil is particularly close to his oldest brother (he's the youngest of five) - despite living 1/2 way across the country from each other.

Edited by gardenmom5
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Close with 1/3 but that 1 not until we were both adults & married with children.  A sister.

 

The other 2/3 are a brother & sister.  I have no contact with that sister & very little interraction with the brother.  Don't see that changing probably ever.

 

DH is somewhat close with his sister - she lives close and is very involved with our kids.  He is not close with his brother but they get along fine.

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1- we're a year apart, diff. dads, yes, but she went to live with relative's and I went to live with my dad as young teenagers and we've spent next 25 year not living near each other

 

2- Ten years apart, didn't grow up together, she hates my mom and will only talk about that. Nope we're not close.

 

3- half sister (on my dad's side) I met in my early teens. Nope.

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I am close with my siblings. To the point where several of them have moved to be closer to me. A week doesn't go by without seeing at least one of my siblings. They don't knock on my front door when they come over. One of my brothers moved to town and started knocking and I told him to stop. :)  We spend holidays together and go out to lunch for everyone's birthdays.

 

We have an app (Whatsapp) where we have a chat room called Family chat. We use it to share picture, make plans, announce news, etc. I have family in three different states in that chat room so it's a great way to stay in touch. :)

 

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Not really. I am the oldest - I have one brother, 4 half brothers and one half sister (same father) one step brother and two step sisters. The youngest is 26 years younger than me and I left home when the next ones were 12, 4 and 6. We like each other but that is about all.

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I am the baby of 9 kids. 8 of us are living.

 

I have only talked to one sister, and only for a few minutes in the past year.   She comes in to my work sometimes, but doesn't bother to stop by my department and say HI. One day a few months ago, I happened to be in the same part of the store that she frequents, so I ran into her unexpectedly.  Otherwise, I wouldn't have even seen her that day.

 

The other 6 I haven't talked to in years. I would love to have a relationship with them, but they don't want to have a relationship with me, so I stay away.

 

I live a very different life than they all do. Most of them live off of Welfare, and purposefully do as little as possible to make sure they stay on it. Several of them think that the courts gave me permanent custody of my great-niece because I "took too good of care of her". She is my sister's, daughter's, daughter. They seem to forget why the state removed her in the first place.  :banghead:   Several of my siblings think that I should just hand dd9 (my great niece) back over to her mom, so she can raise her in secret.  She has several drug convictions and domestic violence convictions (she was the assailant)....and my family doesn't think that it has anything to do with the placement in my home.  They think there was a conspiracy against the mom, not protecting the child.  

 

DH and I worked multiple jobs at a time, to make sure we could pay out own way in life. We have made our own way.

 

I don't care if people access services if they need them, but my sibs manipulate the system to avoid having to work and stand on their own feet. 

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I have one sibling.  I would like to be close but that is not to be.  There is an NPD parent / golden child / scapegoat dynmic going on, so it's mostly not worth the hassle.  I did hope that having children very close in age might help (they live 5 minutes away and school is a short walk from us) but it turns out they'd rather use expensive paid group care than allow us to wander down and pick the child up when needed, or have others drive from the other side of town rather than let us be involved.  So no, we're not close.

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I have two siblings, a brother and a sister. They live about 600 miles apart and I live on the opposite coast from them. We see each other 1-2 times a year, but when we do, we are very much like Rockwell or Parenthood. They are my best friends, they were my maid and man of honor at my wedding 4 years ago. We don't talk as much as we could, the time difference and general life busyness gets in the way, but yes, we are close and I often miss them terribly, I'm just not the type to stay in one place and live out my days there.

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I have a twin and a younger sister.  We are very close, talk, text and see each other fairly frequently.  My twin lives about 45 minutes away and my little sister lives about 20 minutes away.  I also work for my little sister and her dh so I see them 3 times a week at work as well.

My husband and I were both very close to his little sister.  She was 9 years younger than he is and lived about 2 1/2 hours away.  We lost her a few years ago to cancer and she is very much missed.

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No but I think my sister wishes we could be. She's 6 years older and hated me growing up. She was jealous I came along and just plain didn't like me. Now she's been through therapy and has come to terms with her childhood and she's apologized to me numerous times saying it was just kid stuff and shouldn't really matter. The problem is that it really does matter. She was the one who built that foundation. I don't dislike her. I think she's a very nice person. I just don't feel like I think how a sister should feel. In other words, if I got something serious like cancer, she's not the first one I would tell. In fact, I'd just let my mom tell her. I'm just totally indifferent.

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I am not close to my brother at all.  I feel like I try and try, but he is someone I would not be friends with if he was not my brother, so it makes it harder.

 

My dh has 3 sisters.  They ebb and flow.  Usually 3 of the 4 are getting along swimmingly and one is on the outs.  It's been like that for 30 years.  So odd.  

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I think 'close' can mean different things to different people, I often hear women say that their husbands are not close to family members or don't have close friends, and it seems like this means they don't talk a lot or share all their struggles with those people.

 

I feel close to my sisters. That does not mean we talk a lot. We don't. But when I am with them, I am with someone who knows me, knows my story, loves my children. I don't have to explain things, give a back- story, etc. I am connected to them in a way that is different from any other connection in the world.

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I have 5 siblings, but am the baby by nearly 12 years. They had a totally different childhood than I, since they were all married/gone by the time I was 7.

 

Over the years I've had pretty close relationships with every one of them. At this point, I'd say I only have very close relationships with 2 of them, and that's the two closest (if you can call 12 and 14 years close) in age to me. I also have a very good relationship with my brother (he's next above them), but just don't see him or do things with him quite as often. The oldest two I see, talk to and get along with, but don't confide in as I do the others.

 

I have some nieces that are closer in age to me than my sisters, and I've gotten along very well with them over the years also.

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Not at all, but I wish we were. I have two younger brothers, and I love them, but they struggle with loving people who are different from them.

 

I have three girlfriends with whom I have very close relationships, even after many years long distance (these women are not friends with each other, these are my friends individually). We are each the only girl with two brothers and none of us is close with our brothers. I don't know, but perhaps this is something that happens often?

 

Edited: my brothers are very close. I'm so glad they have each other!

 

Good point about the brothers.  I wonder about that.  Are women more generally closer to their sisters rather than their brothers?

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Not at all. I come from a family with a narcissistic mother. My sibling was the "golden child," and I was the "black sheep" because I wouldn't let my mother dominate me.

 

Thankfully I came through it just a little bruised emotionally, but my sibling has some significant narcissistic qualities. I have minimal contact only because there are some pending legal matters involved, and they have a degenerative disease that likely will require some intervention at some point. Apart from that I'd probably just move on.

Edited by G5052
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