I don't like change......close friend moving away

[Ottakee]

I am not a huge one for change.

 

Two weeks ago a close friend of mine told me they are moving 2 hours away.  We played together as young kids (her parents lived next door to my mom's best friend that we visited often....and in the day when you just sent the kids outside to amuse themselves) and then lost touch with each other for 17 years or so. One day dh and I were at an adoption support group meeting and in she walks with her husband as they just adopted 3 children through foster care and we had adopted 3 through foster care.  We stayed in casual touch over the past 15 years or so.....doing respite for foster care, Christmas cards, our daughters took horse jumping lessons at the same barn for a bit, etc.

 

Well, close to 2 years ago I invited her to go horseback riding with me (growing up SHE had the horses and I was always jealous).  Then we started walking together.  Since then we have become very close friends and see each other 3-4-5 times a week as we walk together on her lunch breaks at work as much as we can.  She is just one of those rare wonderful friends where we might not know the casual things about each other (favorite music, restaurant, movies, etc.) but we have shared things with each other that you just don't share with most people.

 

Today I went to her house and helped her clean to get ready to sell the house.......and someone called wanting to look at the house.....in 1 hour.....and it hasn't been listed, the family just heard about it through word of mouth.  Things are moving quick.

 

How do you maintain friendships with a friend that moves 2 hours away?  

[Mama Geek]

I had a good friend that lived about an hour away but between us was the "big city" really the town with most of the things like Walmart Home Depot, restaurants etc.  We still continued to see each other a few times a week.  Now we are halfway across the country and it has dwindled down to phone calls now and then.  2 hours isn't undoable if both of you are interested in going a little out of your way to make it work.

[marbel]

A good friend of mine moved 2 hours away.  We planned weekend get-togethers, and sometimes long day trips.  Sometimes we'd meet in the middle.  We'd email every day (that was before facebook and before texting was common) to check in.

 

Then, I moved 3,000 miles away.  That was when things started to slow down.  But we are still in touch and she is still my closest friend (in terms of endearment, not physical proximity). 

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[BooksandBoys]

I'm the friend who always moves away. I have close friends in many states and even closer friends in 4 states. We text, email, call. We send messages when something reminds us of the other (to me, this is key...if I only wait for the right time to write a "real" message, I'll never have that time, so I send a text or email when I see an article she would enjoy, think of something that would make her laugh, etc.). I occasionally send an ecard or a real card. My friends and I have to know that all phone calls might last 30 seconds or an hour or anything in between. We don't apologize for hang ups due to toddler catastrophes. ;-) We meet when we can. With some, that's once a year, when I visit my hometown. With others, much less often.

 

I move a lot. I'm on my fourth region of the country in 13 years, 9th move in that time. I value my long distance friendships so much!!

[Ottakee]

Thanks for the encouragement. She is a doctor which makes her schedule more pressured. They have invited us to bring g our camping trailer up where they will be living and "camp" in their yard for weekends when we can.

 

Two hours isn't THAT far away, esp if she gets a full day off that we can spend together. Right nowuch of our together time is during her hour long lunch break where we walk a few days a week.

[Lizzie in Ma]

My best friend moved from Cape Cod to Florida last year.  It sucks and I hate it.  I have programmed her number into my car and call her on the way to work or on the way home 3 times a week, which helps but just isn't the same.  :grouphug: :grouphug:

[SemiSweet]

My bestie lives across the country, we chat a lot through Facebook messenger. I went to visit her a couple months ago and she will come here next year. We are also doing a two family cruise/Disney vacation in Decemeber. I think it's just one of those things you have to put a little more effort into. Both of our families are very transient, so we just have to roll with it and hope that one day we will land in the same vicinity again.

[Miss Tick]

I set a weekly day/time when I call. She can't always answer and occasionally I miss, but that regularity has been key. Additionally we text or email, and we try to get our families together once a year for vacation.

 

Still, the transition is hard and it is totally legit for you to be sad about the change.

[BlsdMama]

I am not a huge one for change.

 

Two weeks ago a close friend of mine told me they are moving 2 hours away.  We played together as young kids (her parents lived next door to my mom's best friend that we visited often....and in the day when you just sent the kids outside to amuse themselves) and then lost touch with each other for 17 years or so. One day dh and I were at an adoption support group meeting and in she walks with her husband as they just adopted 3 children through foster care and we had adopted 3 through foster care.  We stayed in casual touch over the past 15 years or so.....doing respite for foster care, Christmas cards, our daughters took horse jumping lessons at the same barn for a bit, etc.

 

Well, close to 2 years ago I invited her to go horseback riding with me (growing up SHE had the horses and I was always jealous).  Then we started walking together.  Since then we have become very close friends and see each other 3-4-5 times a week as we walk together on her lunch breaks at work as much as we can.  She is just one of those rare wonderful friends where we might not know the casual things about each other (favorite music, restaurant, movies, etc.) but we have shared things with each other that you just don't share with most people.

 

Today I went to her house and helped her clean to get ready to sell the house.......and someone called wanting to look at the house.....in 1 hour.....and it hasn't been listed, the family just heard about it through word of mouth.  Things are moving quick.

 

How do you maintain friendships with a friend that moves 2 hours away?  

 

 

I don't think it will be the same.... But, for comfort, I'll just mention that my best friend lives on the SE coast and I'm in the Midwest.  We moved apart from one another 12 years ago and I think that we are closer now.  We never get to see one another but we do text or talk daily.  (((Hugs))) This is going to be hard for both of you. :(  She will probably be very excited and busy in the coming time and it might seem like she isn't mourning it in the same way.  It doesn't mean that she isn't going to miss your relationship - it only means that, for the time, she has a lot of her plate and is handling that.  It's something to keep in mind because the change for both of you is immense but you are dealing with missing her while she is also looking forward to the next step and that can be perceived as not missing the close friendship as much but that isn't what it is.  I hope that is comforting to you.  

[Ottakee]

Thanks for all of the support.  It is becoming way too real.  I have been helping her off and on the past 2 weeks.  Today I went over and packed up one son's bedroom and their books.  Moving truck comes mid week and Thursday evening she heads north.

 

On the positive, she is still going to be working down here 2-3 days a week for the next 3 months or so (she is primary care provider) which means I will see her at least once a week during that time.

 

[ktgrok]

I moved 3 hours away from my best friend. I won't lie, it's hard. But we talk on Facebook messenger almost daily, and call when we need to. We are still very close, and when we see each other it is like nothing happened.