silly maternity clothes

[Xahm]

So, the first thing I grabbed to wear this morning was horribly wrinkled, so I remembered a black floral tunic-y thing in my closet. At this point in my pregnancy (34 weeks) I'm tired of the things I wear all the time, so I thought I'd give it a chance. My sister-in-law and I have been passing maternity clothes back and forth, adding to the collection here and there with purchases and hand-me-downs, so there's stuff in my closet I haven't really examined at all. When I pulled this shirt over my head, I was confused by how it became oddly tight just below my belly but had a whole bunch of billowy fabric on one side. I took it off and examined it, only to discover it was not a maternity shirt or tunic, but a maternity romper! The bottom part was a billowy pair of shorts. When I put it on properly, it had the affect of a very short dress, but presumably the built in shorts were to avoid immodest "wardrobe malfunctions."  It wasn't the most hideous thing, but I moved on to outfit 3.

All this to ask, what's the most ridiculous (to you, of course) piece of maternity clothes you've come across?  (It's 95 degrees out and I want to be able to look on the funny side of carrying a heavy personal heater on my frontside.)

[ktgrok]

First of all, maternity clothes should NOT have horizontal stripes. Every. 

 

But the worst to me was when I was pregnant with my oldest and a lot of the chlothes my SIL gave me looked like overgrown baby clothes. So maternity shirts with teddy bears and such on them. I have no clue why people think I want to dress like a baby because I'm having  a baby. 

 

Of course, I think the same thing about diaper bags that have Winnie the Pooh on them or whatever. 

[Guest]

Some things are cut more for longer or shorter waists. I have a short waist and a very high bump, so things that might be tight through the hips on you would fit me just right, IYKWIM? And some things rumple weirdly on me because I'm too short to wear them properly. It just depends!

[Guest]

And yes, horizontal stripes are super popular right now. Two of my new tops have them and they're less than flattering.

[SparklyUnicorn]

First of all, maternity clothes should NOT have horizontal stripes. Every. 

 

 

I feel this way about clothing in general for anyone who isn't a stick.  Who in hell thought that was a good idea?!  It's not flattering.

[Guest]

I never understood why so many dress maternity clothes were made out of polyester either. Let's put a woman who's in constant danger of melting, thanks to hormones, into the hottest fabric possible.  :confused1:

Edited July 17, 2016 by texasmom33

[Xahm]

Some things are cut more for longer or shorter waists. I have a short waist and a very high bump, so things that might be tight through the hips on you would fit me just right, IYKWIM? And some things rumple weirdly on me because I'm too short to wear them properly. It just depends!

 It was only tight on my hips because I had both of my legs through one leg hole. When I had it on properly, it wasn't bad looking, I just would have felt completely ridiculous. And I wasn't sure about showing nearly a foot of thigh at church, especially one we hadn't visited before.

 

ETA: I do get your point. I've seen things that look so cute on others that I know I could never pull off.

Edited July 17, 2016 by xahm

[Murphy101]

I agree with no horizontal stripes!

 

Also, that one romper I had that was button from collar to navel to get in and out of. Geez. Had a really close call getting all the blasted buttons undone in time to avoid peeling on myself. So it didn't get worn very much that summer.

 

All my maternity clothes now look mostly like regular clothes with a humongous basketball under the shirt.

 

Oh. As someone who has had previous cesareans, that line on pants where the spandex that goes over the big belly meets the denim or whatever regular fabric of the pant legs and crotch? It lands right on my old scar line, which already feels like an ever tightening rope the further the pregnancy gets. The additional rope sensation is not appreciated. Not sure there's much to do about it other than switch to skirts.

[The Girls' Mom]

Back when I was pregnant with my girls, everything maternity had those AWFUL huge peter pan collars.  And non-flattering print.  They have such cute maternity clothes now.  

[Xahm]

Oh my! I hadn't even thought about the bathroom situation. I almost went with wearing pants over the romper thing and blousing out the top, but I would have had to just about strip in a public restroom while the baby kicked my bladder. So glad I felt too ridicuous to go through with it. This had buttons, just like you're describing here.

I agree with no horizontal stripes!

Also, that one romper I had that was button from collar to navel to get in and out of. Geez. Had a really close call getting all the blasted buttons undone in time to avoid peeling on myself. So it didn't get worn very much that summer.

All my maternity clothes now look mostly like regular clothes with a humongous basketball under the shirt.

Oh. As someone who has had previous cesareans, that line on pants where the spandex that goes over the big belly meets the denim or whatever regular fabric of the pant legs and crotch? It lands right on my old scar line, which already feels like an ever tightening rope the further the pregnancy gets. The additional rope sensation is not appreciated. Not sure there's much to do about it other than switch to skirts.

 

[Ausmumof3]

Hmm well my biggest problem with maternity clothes was that I got so big in the belly by the end pretty much none of them covered the bump anyway

 

By pregnancy three I figured it was just as effective to buy Long flowy clothes from the plus size section and much cheaper.

[Desert Strawberry]

Belly panels! Oh my, I hated those. I'm short. They came nearly to my armpits. Add a huge maternity shirt, and I was suffocating in fabric. I'm so glad they went out of style after my first. 

[frugalmamatx]

Hmm well my biggest problem with maternity clothes was that I got so big in the belly by the end pretty much none of them covered the bump anyway

 

By pregnancy three I figured it was just as effective to buy Long flowy clothes from the plus size section and much cheaper.

 

Yep :) There isn't really much difference between plus size and maternity stuff. My youngest is nearly 10 and about 1/4 of my tops are maternity - they fit my short torso and chunky tummy better than standard plus size. 

 

My next pregnancy I'm taking a page out of my mom's book. Her maternity tops were simple big rectangles with short loose sleeves added. The top had a casing and drawstring, which then gathered the top into something similar to a peasant blouse. SOO comfy, cool {if made from cotton blend, but even the poly ones aren't bad} and cheaply made. They also doubled as nursing blouses - the extra fabric as more than enough to drape to cover everything but baby while nursing. 

[Desert Strawberry]

I agree on nixing the maternity clothes. I prefer snug fitting, stretchy cotton and drapey dresses anyway. I found they were usually tiny throughout the shoulders, arms, and hips, with a big belly.

[alisoncooks]

I had the BEST wardrobe when pregnant with oldest DD. I was working and bought a whole, new wardrobe from Motherhood Maternity. It was so trendy and cute. (ETA: It's the only time my wardrobe has ever been trendy & cute...)

Second DD -- I was a SAHM. I was too heavy to fit any of those cute clothes. I primarily wore DH's sweatpants and white undershirts.

Edited July 18, 2016 by alisoncooks

[Guest]

One time my mom gave me this enormous, white tent of a top that had flourescent green and orange Xs and Os all over it. What the hell?! What, are we going to play tic-tac-toe on my expansive girth?

 

I just smiled and waved.

[Guest]

One time my mom gave me this enormous, white tent of a top that had flourescent green and orange Xs and Os all over it. What the hell?! What, are we going to play tic-tac-toe on my expansive girth?

 

I just smiled and waved.

Please tell me a picture of this exists. I need to see it.

 

Badly.

[Guest]

Please tell me a picture of this exists. I need to see it.

 

Badly.

HaHa, no. In the first place, I for sure never wore that wacky get-up. For two, this was before digital photography was a household thing, much less cell phone photos. So, no digitally formatted photos of maternity clothing choices from 1996. :D

[Guest]

Our world is slightly less hilarious for the lack. It sounds absolutely atrocious :rofl:

[SparklyUnicorn]

Please tell me a picture of this exists. I need to see it.

 

Badly.

 

me too

 

I'd pay admission to see that.

[heartlikealion]

Don't know if I can think of a really ridiculous maternity item off hand, but I find it stupid that so many tops are not long enough. Just give women some extra length. Sometimes I wished my last pair of maternity jeans had a different color belly panel. I can't remember now if I wanted the nude or didn't want the nude. I just remember being self-conscious that my panel was going to show as the pregnancy progressed and the tops weren't covering as much. When I watched Gilmore Girls and one of the characters had very long maternity shirts I was wondering where the clothes came from LOL

[Kerileanne99]

I know it shouldn't matter, especially since I am sadly one one those women who never, ever get to 'glow' with pregnancy. My best look was a slightly green hue, with a facial expression that not EVERYONE would recognize as 'stand back, she is going to hurl!'

 

Still. One word. Underwear.

Seriously. They are all hideous, but the most memorable were the pair hubby brought home proudly from some seriously expensive maternity shop in Dallas. He picked out several very thoughtful outfits, but the underwear have the ABC's printed in them in BOLD colors.

Every time I wore them I had a horrid mental picture of the baby peering out of my nether regions to learn her letters😳

Huh. She did learn to read very early...

[Junie]

I always hated the cute little knee-length dresses.  They might be fine for the first pregnancy, but not very practical when you're carrying a toddler and chasing a couple of other kids.

[need2read]

My whole maternity wardrobe was just awful. We were so poor I couldn't afford to buy myself anything so I had hand-me-downs from my SILs and nothing fit right. I am taller than them with a long torso. The best outfit I had was a pair of jeans that fit ok and a men's rugby shirt that was big enough to fit over my belly. My mom made me a jumper which was just awful and about 6 sizes too big. Even though we are done having kids I sometimes dream about being pregnant just so I could wear cute maternity clothes. They are all so much nicer now.

 

 

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[happypamama]

Now, see, I always liked the panels. I'm really short, and I only ever looked pregnant in the belly, like a giant basketball stuck on me. And I carried ridiculously low all the time, with these nine pound babies. The under belly pants never stayed up. (Otoh, my friend who carried high loved them.). I liked the panels because they'd stay up.

 

But few of my shirts were long enough to cover everything by the end.