Do you live with someone who is (or are you) extremely sensitive to sounds?

[J-rap]

Our oldest ds has had some struggles and has recently (finally) been diagnosed as being exceptionally gifted with extreme sensitivities, one of them being sounds.

 

He is an adult now, in his 20's.  He's a great guy and had a lot of really good and fun things happen during his childhood.  But when I asked him to summarize his childhood the other day, the first word that popped into his brain was "too loud"  (okay, that's two words).  He said that everything felt loud and chaotic to him in our house, all the time.  It really wasn't a loud house at all;  it was a quiet home mostly.  He had four sisters who read a lot, with soft classical music playing in the background.  He was the only one with his own room.  

 

But noise is a huge aspect of his life.  It causes him to avoid events, to even cut off relationships.  We always knew he was sensitive to sounds, but had no idea how much this actually molded him.  In reading about this, people say that a very quiet drumming of fingers on a table will sound to him like someone banging cymbals right next to his ears.

 

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.  I want to understand this better, and thought some of you might have some insight for me.

[gardenmom5]

when the nervous systems isn't functioning properly - it doens't take much to push things over the limit.

 

have you ever been so busy, with so many time-crunch demands that just one. more. thing. is too much? that's what's going on with your son's nervous system.

 

ear plugs are good.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't like loud and I don't like being in close quarters with too many people.  I think living in a large family (anything over four people in my book) would be difficult for me.

 

However, I can tune stuff out when I need to. I've gotten very good at that over the years. 

 

We are all like that here so it works out for us. 

[J-rap]

I think being able to tune things out is key.  Apparently my ds cannot tune things out easily at all!   He does wear earplugs at night, every night.

 

 

[lauranc]

I have a child who is extremely sensitive to certain sounds.  We had earplugs made (audiologist) and it made a world of difference.  The earplugs became a constant companion, and we were able to go out as a family and enjoy activities outside of the house.

 

My child is now working with an occupational therapist to help learn to cope with the sounds that are bothersome.  This has been a huge help.  The earplugs are no longer a constant companion, and now my kid is able to go out to almost any public place and can cope without them.  Earplugs still go with us to certain places like the cinema--- but that's OK.  Whatever works to make this child's life more comfortable and happy is OK with me.

 

Has your son considered earplugs?  Would he consider something like OT or other therapy?

 

ETA: sorry, was posting when you were I think.  I see that he does use earplugs.  He might consider professionally made ones that are pretty discreet if he hasn't tried that for daytime.

Edited July 17, 2016 by lauranc

[SparklyUnicorn]

Has he tried white noise for sleep?  I find that very helpful.  I know, it's noise, but it's just this calming sort of soft sound that helps drown other sounds out.

 

Funny because if I go to DH's work I walk through the place and it is so quiet.  You could hear a pin drop.  I wonder if half the employees are sleeping or something.  So sometimes DH comes home from that and has a hard time if the kids are chatty.  And they aren't generally loud, but going from total quiet to that feels loud.

 

 

[J-rap]

I have a child who is extremely sensitive to certain sounds.  We had earplugs made (audiologist) and it made a world of difference.  The earplugs became a constant companion, and we were able to go out as a family and enjoy activities outside of the house.

 

My child is now working with an occupational therapist to help learn to cope with the sounds that are bothersome.  This has been a huge help.  The earplugs are no longer a constant companion, and now my kid is able to go out to almost any public place and can cope without them.  Earplugs still go with us to certain places like the cinema--- but that's OK.  Whatever works to make this child's life more comfortable and happy is OK with me.

 

Has your son considered earplugs?  Would he consider something like OT or other therapy?

 

ETA: sorry, was posting when you were I think.  I see that he does use earplugs.  He might consider professionally made ones that are pretty discreet if he hasn't tried that for daytime.

 

I wonder what OT/therapy does that helps?  That's an interesting thought!

[J-rap]

Has he tried white noise for sleep?  I find that very helpful.  I know, it's noise, but it's just this calming sort of soft sound that helps drown other sounds out.

 

Funny because if I go to DH's work I walk through the place and it is so quiet.  You could hear a pin drop.  I wonder if half the employees are sleeping or something.  So sometimes DH comes home from that and has a hard time if the kids are chatty.  And they aren't generally loud, but going from total quiet to that feels loud.

 

The funny thing is that my ds is not an introvert.  He can be a very gregarious extrovert life-of-the-party type guy.  Which is I guess why this all feels more confusing.  He seems to be able tolerate sound on his own terms (as far as I can tell), but then when he's ready to shut it off, he absolutely NEEDS to shut it off.

[SparklyUnicorn]

The funny thing is that my ds is not an introvert.  He can be a very gregarious extrovert life-of-the-party type guy.  Which is I guess why this all feels more confusing.  He seems to be able tolerate sound on his own terms (as far as I can tell), but then when he's ready to shut it off, he absolutely NEEDS to shut it off.

 

Oh well see I am an introvert, but I don't have trouble at parties.  I don't go to them often, but I don't mind them (so long as they aren't often).

 

I'm not shy either.

 

I guess it's an "on my own terms" kind of thing.  I love music and would do fine at most concerts.  But, again, not every day either!

[Scarlett]

The funny thing is that my ds is not an introvert. He can be a very gregarious extrovert life-of-the-party type guy. Which is I guess why this all feels more confusing. He seems to be able tolerate sound on his own terms (as far as I can tell), but then when he's ready to shut it off, he absolutely NEEDS to shut it off.

Describes my son exactly. He can't tolerate the dog breathing at times.

 

I first noticed it when he was a baby.....ice being put in a glass made him jump and cling to me. Once when he was about 9 months to a year I was putting him in his car seat when a plane went by pretty close. He screamed in terror and clung to me.....I felt so sorry for him.

 

I am similar. I could never tolerate two sets of media going....like the radio and the tv in the same house. I think it is the opposite end of how music can easily make me weep.

[Scarlett]

Oh well see I am an introvert, but I don't have trouble at parties. I don't go to them often, but I don't mind them (so long as they aren't often).

 

I'm not shy either.

 

I guess it's an "on my own terms" kind of thing. I love music and would do fine at most concerts. But, again, not every day either!

My son loves music and has some talent.....but he has zero desire to go to a concert because he said it would be too loud. He seems to do ok at the symphony when he was 7 or 8 though.

[Stacia]

I'm pretty sensitive to sounds. (My family would say that's an understatement.) For me, even a tv or radio turned on in a different room (at a normal volume) is enough to make me feel jittery & on edge. I rarely turn on a radio or tv myself & don't like to have a radio or cd on in the car either. I compromise with my family though & try to tune things out as best as I can or go to a room far away from the noise. Oddly, I do like movies in the theater, but maybe I'm just willing to suspend my dislike of noise for the 'total' experience of a big screen, louder than normal sound, etc.... (I do hate that I can often hear movies playing in the abutting theaters, though. Sometimes that makes it hard for me to concentrate on the movie I'm watching.)

 

I have a hard time reading at places like a coffee shop. It's ok if it's relatively quiet & they have only instrumental music going on. (I still have to really concentrate to read, but I can do it.) But, if there are many people talking &/or there's singing, I have a hard time tuning it out because it's too much noise.

 

Sometimes, when someone in my family is talking loudly, I automatically ask them to stop screeching. I guess my family is used to it though at first I think it caused offense.  :tongue_smilie:  :lol:  They see themselves as talking a little bit loudly maybe. But, to me, it sounds like screeching. I know that sounds horrible, but I'm just trying to explain how things may sound to most vs. how they sound to someone w/ extreme hearing.

 

I sleep with a fan, sometimes earplugs too. Even so, I still hear too much & rarely sleep well. Sometimes I think it's not just noise that wakes me, but the sound vibrations (a car in the distance that is really too far away to 'hear' but it's like I feel the vibration of the air).

 

I think I missed my calling as a sonar operator. Or as a bloodhound tracking dog. (I notice smells too much too.)

 

It's weird, hard to explain, & I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Since I'm adult, I've learned to cope, I guess, but there are still some days that it's just wearing.

 

ETA: I have the telephones in our house turned down to minimum ring level. I still hate telephones, though. Some random jarring noise when you don't expect it. I almost always have my cell on vibrate instead of ring.

 

ETA: My sister has told me for years that if she ever wins the lottery, she will buy me a sensory deprivation chamber.  :laugh:  Sounds great to me!

 

 

Edited July 17, 2016 by Stacia

[lllll]

nm

Edited November 29, 2016 by cathey

[Guest]

Sometimes they are thinking hard and cant handle random jarring noise simultaneously, other times they dont want to be distracted by music. Other times they have had enough for the day, and withdraw as they recognized their nervous system is about to overload. And mine has very good hearing, as far as distance from the source, when compared to others.

[MomatHWTK]

Ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones. It looks like there can be a variety of causes for noise sensitivity, and each manifests slightly differently:

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=noise%20sensitivity

Edited July 17, 2016 by MomatHWTK

[Pawz4me]

I wonder what OT/therapy does that helps? That's an interesting thought!

Youngest DS had OT for sensory issues. Among his issues was (is) noise sensitivity. The OT had him listen to some special music through headphones for awhile during each session. Something about the music used was supposed to help lessen sensitivity. He was around age three to six when he had therapy and it did help somewhat. I don't know if they would do the same thing for an adult or not. And that was ten or fifteen years ago so treatments may have changed. DS still has certain sounds that he finds extremely irritating and he prefers a very quiet environment.

[JFSinIL]

It is misophonia.   http://www.misophonia.com/symptoms-triggers/  Folk who do not have it don't "get" it.  Sigh.  I have had it always. 

[Pam in CT]

I'm pretty sensitive to sounds. (My family would say that's an understatement.) For me, even a tv or radio turned on in a different room (at a normal volume) is enough to make me feel jittery & on edge. I rarely turn on a radio or tv myself & don't like to have a radio or cd on in the car either. I compromise with my family though & try to tune things out as best as I can or go to a room far away from the noise. Oddly, I do like movies in the theater, but maybe I'm just willing to suspend my dislike of noise for the 'total' experience of a big screen, louder than normal sound, etc.... (I do hate that I can often hear movies playing in the abutting theaters, though. Sometimes that makes it hard for me to concentrate on the movie I'm watching.)

 

I have a hard time reading at places like a coffee shop. It's ok if it's relatively quiet & they have only instrumental music going on. (I still have to really concentrate to read, but I can do it.) But, if there are many people talking &/or there's singing, I have a hard time tuning it out because it's too much noise.

 

Sometimes, when someone in my family is talking loudly, I automatically ask them to stop screeching. I guess my family is used to it though at first I think it caused offense.  :tongue_smilie:  :lol:  They see themselves as talking a little bit loudly maybe. But, to me, it sounds like screeching. I know that sounds horrible, but I'm just trying to explain how things may sound to most vs. how they sound to someone w/ extreme hearing.

 

I sleep with a fan, sometimes earplugs too. Even so, I still hear too much & rarely sleep well. Sometimes I think it's not just noise that wakes me, but the sound vibrations (a car in the distance that is really too far away to 'hear' but it's like I feel the vibration of the air).

 

I think I missed my calling as a sonar operator. Or as a bloodhound tracking dog. (I notice smells too much too.)

 

It's weird, hard to explain, & I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Since I'm adult, I've learned to cope, I guess, but there are still some days that it's just wearing.

 

ETA: I have the telephones in our house turned down to minimum ring level. I still hate telephones, though. Some random jarring noise when you don't expect it. I almost always have my cell on vibrate instead of ring.

 

ETA: My sister has told me for years that if she ever wins the lottery, she will buy me a sensory deprivation chamber.  :laugh:  Sounds great to me!

 

This is pretty much me, too, except for the appeal of a sensory deprivation chamber (see that idea makes me feel claustrophobic, lol).  I ALWAYS have my phone on vibrate.  Cuz I can HEAR it vibrate perfectly clearly, why would I possibly want it any louder?

 

To the OP, I totally relate to drumming fingers on a table "sounding like" cymbals.  Not literally, of course.  But if I'm faced with that sort of sound, I have either to ask the person to stop or leave the room, depending on the person/situation.  It will eventually drive me to a debilitating headache.  I cant stay more than a few minutes in certain retail stores because of the sound of the lights.  That kind of sound is actually harder for me than music.

 

 

The perfectly ordinary cacophony of little kids was hard on me (they've grown out of that stage, mercifully, so it's much easier now), but the worst is the effect on sleep.  I literally can't remember sleeping all the way through the night, once, in all my life.  Any sound -- the A/C shifting gears, a cricket in the trees, my daughter turning over two rooms away, the dog shifting position -- will wake me up.  

[lauranc]

I wonder what OT/therapy does that helps?  That's an interesting thought!

 

We first sought out regular therapy with a therapist who specializes in working with young people and adults with special needs.  The only problem was, my kid wasn't ready to 'let go' of those earplugs--- and with therapy, you've got to be a willing participant.   She also didn't fully understand that the earplugs were OK, but had become a crutch. 

 

We sought out OT at the suggestion of the therapist.  She thought it might help.  Our OT works with my daughter with managing feelings related to the sounds-- acknowledging that it's a sound and that it's OK, that she's OK --everything's going to be OK etc.....   The OT also works on building confidence and learning to persevere through difficult experiences. 

 

I think, for your son, if he's willing --talking to a therapist who specializes in something like this might help.  It was a little too 'mature' for my daughter because, developmentally, she's still quite young and didn't really 'get' it.

[Stacia]

because of the sound of the lights.  That kind of sound is actually harder for me than music.

 

Instead of "The Bells! The Bells!", it's "The Buzzing! The Buzzing!" (As well as any flickering or flashing or pulsing that goes along w/ it. :willy_nilly: )

 

(I'm probably horribly misquoting Victor Hugo here, but I know what you're talking about. Lol.)

[Upward Journey]

It is misophonia.   http://www.misophonia.com/symptoms-triggers/  Folk who do not have it don't "get" it.  Sigh.  I have had it always. 

 

Me, too.  It can be very wearing.

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited November 29, 2016 by cathey

[Stacia]

Quoting you some more, Pam...

 

This is pretty much me, too, except for the appeal of a sensory deprivation chamber (see that idea makes me feel claustrophobic, lol).  I ALWAYS have my phone on vibrate.  Cuz I can HEAR it vibrate perfectly clearly, why would I possibly want it any louder?

 

Exactly! The vibration is plenty loud for me.

 

I did try one of those sensory-deprivation water pod things at a spa once. It's like a big pod with a few inches of salt water in it that you're supposed to float in.

 

I hated, hated, hated it. The smell of the salt water, the warmth of the room, the slight motion of the water -- I got so, so, so motion/seasick.  :ack2:  I climbed out & literally lay on the cool tile floor for half an hour before I felt I could even move enough to not be totally sick. It took me many hours to recover.

 

I guess what I want is a soundproof room.

 

 

The perfectly ordinary cacophony of little kids was hard on me (they've grown out of that stage, mercifully, so it's much easier now),

 

When I hear & see kids crying/yelling/having a tantrum in public, I'm always so, so, so thankful that my kids were never really screamers. I think if I had had a child that screamed/cried a lot, I would have literally gone around the bend.

Edited July 17, 2016 by Stacia

[Faithr]

My 15 yo!  But she's definitely more sensitive at different times.  

[Arcadia]

I think being able to tune things out is key. Apparently my ds cannot tune things out easily at all! He does wear earplugs at night, every night.

I tune things out but I grew up in a loud household with loud relatives. Earplugs are another sensory issue for me and my kids. Hubby's cousin says that her noise cancelling headset was the first thing that actually works for her and well worth the splurge for a good nap.

[JustEm]

Has he tried white noise for sleep? I find that very helpful. I know, it's noise, but it's just this calming sort of soft sound that helps drown other sounds out.

 

 

This made me laugh because I am extremely sensitive to noises and white noise machines drive me insane! We were vacationing with my brother who uses a white noise machine for his kids at bedtime. By the 3rd night I was angry at him because of that damn noise.

[Stacia]

This made me laugh because I am extremely sensitive to noises and white noise machines drive me insane! We were vacationing with my brother who uses a white noise machine for his kids at bedtime. By the 3rd night I was angry at him because of that damn noise.

 

:lol:

 

I hate the sounds white noise machines make (like fingernails on a chalkboard to me), but can tolerate a fan. (Well, it has to be the right kind of fan making the right kind of noise. And I can't sleep with oscillating fans because of the noise difference between when it's aimed toward you vs. away from you. Maddening! Kwim?)

[slackermom]

My daughter and I have this issue. Both of us are very high IQ with multiple sensitivities. dd has been diagnosed with misophonia, and it affects her to the point that it was one reason we started homeschooling, and now that she is back in school, she needed to get a 504 plan in place in order to accommodate for it.

 

Since you are trying to wrap your head around it, here are a few terms you can investigate: Misophonia is a fairly new term, and was coined by some psychiatrists (but it is not a psychiatric diagnosis in the official sense), but the condition has been called SSSS (selective soft sound sensitivity, I think), by audiologists before that, though audiologists have started using the term misophonia too. In gifted IQ circles, there is the concept of OE, over-excitabilities, which can include sound sensitivities. Also, within OT circles, sensory processing disorder could include this issue.

 

Dd's audiologist said that the typical misophonia patient often has a very high IQ.

 

In general, I think the current thinking is that it is a neurological condition, in which the brain misinterprets certain sounds as dangerous/predator sounds.

 

I also experience the other end of the spectrum, generally known as ASMR, where certain soft sounds can cause a euphoria-like state, where my head feels waves of pleasure.

[Stacia]

Growing up, my mom & sister often thought I was eavesdropping.

 

They might be in the kitchen talking & I would be in my bedroom (opposite end of the house, one floor up). I could easily hear their conversation -- just as if they were standing right next to me. I wasn't trying to listen, but it's so invasive you can't help but hear.

 

And, I'm often that way about smells. At my parents' the other week, we were all on the screen porch & ordered pizza delivery. Various cars come & go on their street so I didn't notice (by sound) that a particular car had arrived. But, there was an overwhelming smell of pizza. (Nobody else could smell it.) I said the pizza person was here & they were surprised I was right.

 

That also happened once when we traveled to Williamsburg & stayed in a hotel that used to be apartments. I woke up because the smell of bacon & eggs was overwhelming. I jumped out of bed thinking I had overslept & everyone else was already up & eating. I was surprised to find that our entire group was still fast asleep. I guess I was smelling breakfast being cooked in another apartment (probably the smell was coming through the vents but it was so strong it's like you couldn't escape it). I notice that in any apartments I've ever been in & imagine I would have a hard time actually living in an apartment because of sound & smell overload.

[Arctic Bunny]

Instead of "The Bells! The Bells!", it's "The Buzzing! The Buzzing!" (As well as any flickering or flashing or pulsing that goes along w/ it. :willy_nilly: )

 

(I'm probably horribly misquoting Victor Hugo here, but I know what you're talking about. Lol.)

Oh the sound of lights!!

 

I remember being in Hawaii with my mom and family was I was 5. One of the few things I remember was some sort of market square, and I don't know if it was lights or what, but the NOISE (that nobody else could hear of course) made me run through there as fast as I could, practically crying.

My oldest DS has these bulbs in his room (came with the house) and I cannot stand them! And the security cameras we put up constantly hum. I avoid being near them!!

[Arctic Bunny]

:lol:

 

I hate the sounds white noise machines make (like fingernails on a chalkboard to me), but can tolerate a fan. (Well, it has to be the right kind of fan making the right kind of noise. And I can't sleep with oscillating fans because of the noise difference between when it's aimed toward you vs. away from you. Maddening! Kwim?)

Oscillating fans are terrible! And there are those people who wave their hands in front of them, making it worse!

[livetoread]

My son has misophonia. He's never received an official diagnosis, but he's pretty textbook (other than the high IQ - he's average). It's interesting to know there are OTs who address it. He's 18 now and was unwilling to pursue help for it when he was younger, but maybe I can try again.

[Closeacademy]

Some days the sound of the vacuum cleaner is painful to my entire body.  Not just my ears but it makes my skin hurt.  I avoid loud restaurants especially dark ones or ones with lots of lights and distractions.  I like calmer places.  

 

I can totally understand where he comes from.  I like it best when things are calm and quiet or at a low-level of noise.  On days where I am feeling particularly sensitive, too much noise can make me feel really on edge.  Over the years I've been able to build a little oasis with my husband, I hope your son is able to find something like that for himself one day.

[slackermom]

This article is probably a good place to start reading, just to help you sift through some of the google garbage:

 

http://observer.com/2016/06/if-you-suffer-from-misophonia-everyday-life-can-become-unbearable/

[Murphy101]

My whole family will tell you this is me. 😄 I can hear everything anywhere anytime. And yeah, white noise drives me insane. That's just adding MORE noise. Why anyone thinks making more noise would help someone who just wants all the noise to stop is beyond me.

 

No earplugs here. I've always just sucked up and dealt with it.

 

I know some people think I'm deprived of a normal life but I disagree and am quite happy never going to concerts, football games or Disney - all of which are my idea of an inner circle of hell.

 

We do joke that giving a woman who greatly dislikes crowds and lots of noise 10.6 kids is God's sick sense of humor. 😆

 

My kids might grow up saying I was too mean about noise. Oh well. If that's the worst they've got to complain about, I'm calling it good anyways.

[Murphy101]

For me, I think being able to decompress is important for everyone. I think it's bull that only certain people need it.

 

I can handle big crowds and lots of noise, but I need decompression time between those events to enjoy them. I can go from event to event, I just wouldn't like it much and would be exhausted more often. Personally I all ever seem to hear from other mothers is how tired and stressed and busy they are and while I understand that, it's also frustrating bc they are the ones signing up for everything without allowing for any genuine down time. I don't think that's healthy for anyone of any personality or sensory type.

[MamaBearTeacher]

My two oldest boys have severe special needs and are also profoundly gifted. They have very bad sound sensitivities as well as other sensitivities. They take everything in. Does your son also have visual sensitivities? vestibular sensitivities/issues?

 

I would be interested in hearing more about how your son experiences things. My oldest son walks around all day with his hands covering his ears and eyes. We took him for auditory integration training (AIT) and we did not see that it helped him at all but he really feels it did.

[Stacia]

A couple of years ago in a fictional book I was reading, I saved a quote in it because it made so much sense to me...

 

“The room was too much there. I could feel the color of the wallpaper -- burgundy -- invading.â€

 

(from Atmospheric Disturbances by Rivka Galchen)

 

I realize, in a way, that it seems non-sensical. And, yet, it so perfectly describes the overbearing feeling of *too* much sound/smell/vision/touch.

Edited July 17, 2016 by Stacia

[Pam in CT]

Ahhhhh, how do I love WTM, let me count the ways.

 

 

Never in my long life have I found kindred spirits on these subjects:

 

 

 

Re oscillating fans:

:lol:

 

I hate the sounds white noise machines make (like fingernails on a chalkboard to me), but can tolerate a fan. (Well, it has to be the right kind of fan making the right kind of noise. And I can't sleep with oscillating fans because of the noise difference between when it's aimed toward you vs. away from you. Maddening! Kwim?)

Right.  Because the pitch changes as it moves.

 

 

re the sound... of light bulbs:

Oh the sound of lights!!

I remember being in Hawaii with my mom and family was I was 5. One of the few things I remember was some sort of market square, and I don't know if it was lights or what, but the NOISE (that nobody else could hear of course) made me run through there as fast as I could, practically crying.
My oldest DS has these bulbs in his room (came with the house) and I cannot stand them! And the security cameras we put up constantly hum. I avoid being near them!!

 

 

re vacuum cleaners:

Some days the sound of the vacuum cleaner is painful to my entire body.  Not just my ears but it makes my skin hurt.  I avoid loud restaurants especially dark ones or ones with lots of lights and distractions.  I like calmer places.  

 

I can totally understand where he comes from.  I like it best when things are calm and quiet or at a low-level of noise.  On days where I am feeling particularly sensitive, too much noise can make me feel really on edge.  Over the years I've been able to build a little oasis with my husband, I hope your son is able to find something like that for himself one day.

Seriously, this is why I got rid of all our carpeting.  Brooms, I can tolerate.

 

 

 

re white noise:

...

And yeah, white noise drives me insane. That's just adding MORE noise. Why anyone thinks making more noise would help someone who just wants all the noise to stop is beyond me....

 

Ex.act.ly.  Clearly the idea that MORE NOISE could POSSIBLY HELP was dreamed up by someone who isn't sensitive to noise.  (Sorry for the shouting, btw... I feel a little passionate about this, lol)

 

 

 

 

Now, OP, here's the thing:  I don't want you to come away with an alarmed impression that your son is doomed to a tiny circumscribed life of silence, unable to connect with other sound-generating human beings or for hold a job or otherwise unction in loud society.  Like all sorts of other people with all sorts of other idiosyncrasies, we adapt.  We develop strategies, we use tools, we shape our living spaces, we carve out time to decompress, we re-train our loved ones to meet us halfway (or at least partway).  He may always prefer a hiking vacation over Disney World, but if he managed to soldier on to adulthood without your even being aware of the issue... he'll be fine.

[KungFuPanda]

I am blessed with a VERY quiet household. We love to return home after a noisy event and just be quiet. When my sister and her large, noisy family leave, or after a day of co-op, I just feel like my ears are full and the silence is a relief. Dd actually requested a seat away from the wall clock during the ap exams because even that faint noise bugs her. It's not debilitating for any of us, but we do enjoy our quiet sanctuary.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Oh my!   Yes!!  I cannot stand chewing.  I cannot stand glugging of drinks. I cannot stand hearing hiccups.  It drives me crazy!!

[goldberry]

DD has always been sensitive. As a baby should would cry over any loud noises.  The worst one was an icemaker at a restaurant drink machine.. we had to flee the restaurant!

 

I would say she is still sensitive. She doesn't like it when friends play music loudly, or even when a movie gets too loud.  She always has the remote so she can turn it up for talking scenes and immediately down for action scenes. She is commonly heard saying "That noise (whatever it is) is driving me crazy!"

 

Come to think of it, she is also hypersensitive to smells, and often notices smells before anyone else.

[Murphy101]

DD has always been sensitive. As a baby should would cry over any loud noises. The worst one was an icemaker at a restaurant drink machine.. we had to flee the restaurant!

 

I would say she is still sensitive. She doesn't like it when friends play music loudly, or even when a movie gets too loud. She always has the remote so she can turn it up for talking scenes and immediately down for action scenes. She is commonly heard saying "That noise (whatever it is) is driving me crazy!"

 

Come to think of it, she is also hypersensitive to smells, and often notices smells before anyone else.

Ha! The remote just for sound control! Yep! Guilty! WHY do the commercial have to be so much louder than the entire show? And why do they play the stupid music on both tv and movies so dang loud that I have a hard time hearing the dadblum dialog?!

[gardenmom5]

I think being able to tune things out is key.  Apparently my ds cannot tune things out easily at all!   He does wear earplugs at night, every night.

 

I was unable to tune sounds out when I was growing up. I just coudn't.   other people simply couldn't understand why I couldn't do something that seems so straightforward.

for me, it was neurological.

 

I wonder what OT/therapy does that helps?  That's an interesting thought!

 

dudeling has auditory processing disorder - there are three kinds, one of them makes for overly sensitive hearing.  an audiologist can diagnose such. 

 

I've had times when I've been more sensitive to sounds than others.  when particular frequencies registered as a screech and was downright painful - frequencies others would register as music. as in a violin by someone who could play.

I know fish oil  is helpful - but there are nutrients depending upon specifics.

[rwilk]

Both myself and my DD have sensory sound difficulties. As a child it was very difficult for me because my family thought it was super funny that I was jumpy (I once jolted at the sound of dice rolling). As an adult, I've been able to cope signficantly better.  One huge thing for me is expecting sounds. If I can predict/brace for it, it's better.  My office used to make everyone have his/her back toward the door (and thus giving bosses a clear view of the computer screen).  That would be fine, except that I couldn't handle the noise change of silence---->unexpected talking to me. We settled on putting up a mirror so I could easily see if a person was stopping at my desk or just walking by.  

 

The other impact as an adult was with people typing. The noise of other people typing drives me bonkers. In law school, I handwrote all my exams just so I could be in a separate quiet room.  And even then, I could hear the sounds of other people's pencils.  Seriously.

 

DD is too young to express a lot of it.  But it's still clearly there.  She can't stand my parent's house because they are just SO NOISY.  They walk loud.  They yell from room to room. And there's only 2 of them.  But SO LOUD.  She'll stay downstairs with everyone for about an hour, then ask to take a rest.  It's the only way she can manage.  My parents think she's "making it up" and "using it to manipulate us." I feel like when a 2-4 year old is asking to be put in a quiet dark room by herself, she can have no real manipulative motive.  It's not like she gets to go upstairs and watch tv/play on a phone/get entertained.  She literally just wants a dark, quiet room.

 

 

[Guest]

The funny thing is that my ds is not an introvert. He can be a very gregarious extrovert life-of-the-party type guy. Which is I guess why this all feels more confusing. He seems to be able tolerate sound on his own terms (as far as I can tell), but then when he's ready to shut it off, he absolutely NEEDS to shut it off.

I'm very much that way, except more introverted. But for me it is a threshold - I can handle certain noises and even lots of noise until I hit my limit and then everything is like a stabbing in my brain and agitates me. Some of it is related to my cortisol issues but some noises, like chewing, I seem physically incapable of tuning out. I use a lot of overriding with things like music and podcasts to block out some noise, and going to a quieter environment for the rest.

[Rosie_0801]

Ds' sensitivity to loud noises seemed to be related to retained mouth reflexes. When I beat them down, he was less sensitive to both noise and food. When they crept up again, he became more sensitive to both.

[Guest]

I am not as intense about it as your son seems to be, but yes, I am very easily irritated by noise or, especially, discordant sounds. It is getting worse in this phase of my life, but it was always true. The sounds of certain televison characters, or even otherwise benign TV sounds (canned laughter, clapping and cheering) is SOOOOO irritating to me, I could just stab something. DH liked to practice a lot of different musical instruments and the acoustic guitar practice is the only one I don't find practically unbearable. I bought him headphones for practicing electric piano - and yes, I feel like a terrible person by saying this - I loathe the way he plays piano. I despise it; it hurts my sense of musical harmony. When he plays the drums, I have to leave the house or put on my own headphones and drown him out.

 

I also hate to be in a public setting where other sounds are too loud to carry on conversation. Or at people's houses in which the homeowner has on music or TV in the "background." Somehow, this is never really background to me; it intrudes and feels like too much chaos and I sit there thinking how much more I would like the party if there wasn't such commotion.

 

There is a woman in a prominent position at my church whose voice I find extremely grating. Whenever she appears to make announcements, I cringe. She needs to lower her register. That screeching Minnie Mouse voice could make me stay home almost.

 

I realize that I am less noise tolerant than the aberage person and I try to let it remain my own issue for the most part. My family, though, knows that I'm a ridiculous pain about noises I find discordant or too loud and they are, sadly, used to me telling them to please turn that down! sometimes I am less nice about it than that.

[Farrar]

Ds and I have a certain range of sounds that make us basically go nuts. It's a very narrow range - think fingernails on a blackboard. But we both find it physically painful. It's one of the reasons that I have panic attacks while I get my teeth cleaned. The sound of the water pick thing is literally unbearable. I go a little nuts.

 

My mother likes to torture us for fun by scraping her fork against her teeth when she's feeling like a complete *****.  :glare: She thinks we're making it up and that she has the right to make any noises she wants. Basically, don't do that and I think everything else can be forgiven.

[Murphy101]

Ds and I have a certain range of sounds that make us basically go nuts. It's a very narrow range - think fingernails on a blackboard. But we both find it physically painful. It's one of the reasons that I have panic attacks while I get my teeth cleaned. The sound of the water pick thing is literally unbearable. I go a little nuts.

 

My mother likes to torture us for fun by scraping her fork against her teeth when she's feeling like a complete *****. :glare: She thinks we're making it up and that she has the right to make any noises she wants. Basically, don't do that and I think everything else can be forgiven.

Ack!! I make my children leave the table for *repeatedly* chewing with mouth open, making gulping noises when drinking or bashing/scraping teeth on utensils. Whether it's a sensitivity issue or not, I think it's just as rude as making any other bodily function noise at the table. Sure, some times things happen. A bite a bit too big or more chewy than planned, a discrete turn to the side and cover mouth burp - but every drink and bite shouldn't be like that!

 

Also, paying out of pocket for dental work makes me extra cranky about taking care of teeth by not purposely bashing and scraping them on metal tyvm. 😬

 

My dad drives me bonkers when he visits bc he refuses to put in his dentures for meals. Which wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't then complain about the texture and lack of tenderness of everything we eat. So he will partially chew his food, then sloppily and noisily spit half of it back onto his plate claiming it was too whatever to eat. I tell my kids that we make allowances for old people the same as infants. Iow, we don't give it any attention and politely pretend we don't see or hear it while also never ever immitating it.