Kris Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 I've never been dead set on my son going to college. I've always felt that it's my responsibility to make sure he's ready *if* he wants to go, but that decision is entirely up to him. He has been adamant that he *wants* to go, but I still have this niggle in the back of my mind that he's just saying what he thinks we -- and Grandpa -- want to hear. I've been reading Dave Ramsey's TMMO book this week -- where WAS this guy thirty years ago?! -- and I almost skipped the part about saving for college. Since it's only two or three years down the road, short of winning the lottery, there's no way we're going to make significant progress in that department. It was our plan that The Kid would get a job, go to CC for a couple of years, and that Sweetie and I would just run team again to help pay for it -- student loans were not part of the equation. And even though Grandpa really wants him to go, short of a lot of "atta boys" there's not going to be any help there. But I *did* read the chapter about saving for college and "light dawns on Marblehead." He doesn't like doing school work. He likes what we're doing at home better than what he was doing at PS, and he likes the flexibility we have here, but reading and writing are just jobs he does because they have to be done. He doesn't know what he "wants to be when he grows up" and he never has. Even when he was little, we never heard "I wanna be an astronaut" or "I wanna be a fireman" or "I wanna be a rock star." Ever. So I'm thinking at least a year of CC would be good for him -- maybe he'll find something that lights him up. But in the main scheme of things, I just don't see this kid succeeding in college, since it's really all about doing stuff he just doesn't like to do! He's always been an artist -- and all his worksheets from school came home with awesome drawings on the back. But he isn't interested in doing anything that would expand on that. Hand him a pencil and a piece of paper and amazing things happen. Water colors, oils, clay, etc., -- he just throws something together to get it over with. He *has* told me he's interested in video game design -- this is the only thing he's really mentioned. But he's not really interested in computers or programming. He wants to design the characters and maybe work on the stories and themes, but not the implementation. I'm thinking this is probably too "specialized?" Sweetie and I are more than willing to do what it takes to help him with what he wants to do, but I getting this inkling that The Kid is a round peg trying to fit into a square box that will just end up being a waste of time and money for all of us. I'm thinking unschooling might be the way to go with him, but I haven't the first clue how to go about it. He's been doing a college prep type program so we'd have some kind of transcript. He doesn't have a problem in the smarts department -- it's motivation he's lacking. Someone somewhere at sometime mentioned The Teenage Liberation Handbook. There's a long wishlist for it on PaperBackSwap. Even though I'm a book fiend, I admit I'm loathe to buy yet another one right now -- but if someone's read it can you let me know if this might have some ideas for us? I know this got long and I'm kind of rambling on -- but I'm really hoping for some good ideas from you guys about some kind of direction or something, because it's becoming pretty clear to me that I'm enjoying his schooling a lot more than he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzf242 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 What about trade school for a year or two? Even if he doesn't like it, he will have training to get a decent job. He can always go to college a year or two late after he decides what he really wants to do. Suzanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dawn of ns Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Another option might be finding a local artist he could mentor with. A court illustrator, editorial cartoonist for the local paper, a graphic illustrator, c omic book artist... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 What about trade school for a year or two? Even if he doesn't like it, he will have training to get a decent job. He can always go to college a year or two late after he decides what he really wants to do. Suzanne This is a great idea, Suzanne. All I've been able to find so far is nursing school. I'm sure there's got to be more here. It's times like this I wish I was on speaking terms with the school counselor, who thinks I have cooties. I'll dig around some more and see if I can find something he might be remotely interested in. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 I would let him look into trades but he sounds like an artsy type. Have you looked at art schools or film and media schools? How about a (High School) apprenticeship at the local public access studio? Blizzard makes video games. He might like to poke around their job listings and get a feel for what jobs are avalible and what skills and education are needed to et such jobs. I will say that he isn't the only kid who wants to make games for a living and so the people who do get these jobs have to be well connected and very talented. My son wants to do the same thing. To encourage him we are working on drawing skills and studying mythical creatures, that sort of thing, since they are common themes in these games. Computers are just a tool. He does not have to be a programmer to be an artist. It's probably better that he's not. You can use a tool without knowing how all of the insides work so the computer thing is not an issue. Thanks for that link! We were looking for that kind of information earlier this year, but had no clue where to find it. Lots of "goal setting" information there. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwalizer Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 I read the Teenage Liberation Handbook and the author had a lot of good advice but she lost credibility with me because she was SO anti-teacher. I do not believe the average high school teacher is in the teachers' lounge laughing at a student because of the awkwardness of the student. I know some ps teachers who are kind, compassionate people who really want to help the kids. That being said, I think it is worth reading because of the helpful info., but I recommend you read it first, as there are a few comments that I didn't agree with and that, in my book, were downright controversial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Chances are my ds10 will not go to college, he doesn't want to go (he wants to join the armed forces) I won't force it. I have plans of getting him involved in an apprenticeship program in his high school years. Around here starting at age 16 he can do a registered apprenticeship program earning the hours needed towards his ticket. He then just has to do the 6 weeks per year at the trade school upon graduation. I will still continue to put money into their resp and make sure he has the prerequisites if he does change his mind and wants to go, but don't really see it. He is also quite artistic as well but doesn't seem to have plans to utilize that. Arts schools are another avenue, using his natural talent he could get into graphic arts or book illustrating and enjoy himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 I am familiar with this from the book publishing angle. The designers at my company had a nifty variety of work--interior design, book cover design (involving either generating or hiring art + arranging the elements), promo material, etc. It might be the mix of art and computer that he seems to like. I think a short internship, whether at a publishing company or another job that looks interesting to him, will really help him define what sounds interesting for the long term. I know of three young adults who benefited tremendously from internships when they were 18. I also benefited from doing freelance work for a publishing company starting when I was 17--it helped me discover my career interests and proved to be a foot in the door later when I had graduated from college and was looking for a job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Kris.... just thinking out loud here. You say he hasn't mentioned much on what he'd like to do. Does he need some time to explore potential interests, perhaps? You might consider looking into 4-H. There are many avenues to explore there, most of which deal with trades. Look at your extension office to see what kind of clubs are around. Some are purely livestock or other focus, but many have a great variety to explore. At least... that's how it is here. YMMV there, but I thought I'd toss that out there. It would give him a chance to 'play' with things that might spark an idea for pursuit later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 I want to thank everyone for the ideas. I went through all of these options with him today and he's still insisting he wants to go to college. He's basically thinking that, since he doesn't really know what kind of job he wants to do yet, this is the right direction to be heading. I was actually kind of surprised. I gave him every possible out, but he didn't bite. If he's willing to work this hard now, doing stuff he really doesn't like that much (except the Latin -- he wanted to know if he could still do Latin in trade school! :lol: ) maybe he *will* be able to make a go of it once he gets to college. He's certainly got the determination part down -- I did everything I could to play Devil's advocate and try to talk him out of it! Who knows what will happen after he's had a chance to mull things over, but for now he's dead set on this course. Thank you for all the help. You gave us some great ideas and things to talk and think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLHCO Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 (edited) Edit: Oops. I posted before I read your final comment. So, college it is, and even if he doesn't finish, he's still all the richer for the education he gains there. My original post: I like the idea of an art or trade school and I think it's fantastic that you're really looking at this kid's actual needs instead of the typical default. There are so many other things out there besides your typical 4 year college. With a trade school you can focus on specifically what you are interested in. If you really can't stand reading and writing, a typical 4 year college would be torture unless you had another goal that outweighed the dislike, such as a love of medicine, needing a formal piece of paper, which would make it worth it. I have a hard time seeing how a 4 year degree would be worth it for someone who loves art but doesn't like the rest. Yes, you can learn art there, but there will be a lot of papers and reading on art history to get it. Unless you are looking at computer skill requirements, that's one of those things you need talent rather than a piece of paper. It's quite possible there are simply some art classes at a community or trade school level where connections can be made for further study or apprenticeships. What about being an illustrator for books? They often are needed for everything from children's books to magazines, advertising, etc. I think learning to at least function around a quality graphic processing program would be helpful here, even if it's to simply learn to draw what you like then transfer it to a digital work. I'm in a similar situation. We may do some community college for my daughters, who love to write - but only fiction, and love to read - but only the classics. Science and math are not something they have any desire to suffer through if they simply want to self-study the classics and write fiction. I think courses in literature and a writing workshop or two is sufficient. You don't get published because you have a degree, you get published because you can write. Beyond that, they love to sew costumes, historical clothing, formal wear, etc. So, if being an author isn't going to make them big bucks, sewing and alteration most certainly will pay some bills and they won't have to deal with math after they pass my mandatory expectations, so they certainly will have a secondary skill. Or they can give guitar or banjo lessons. :tongue_smilie: Even a smart kid who is smart enough to be college worthy shouldn't be expected to go to college as a default expectation. If the homeschooling education is solid, he can go back later if his desires change. Edited October 12, 2008 by CLHCO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 Edit: Oops. I posted before I read your final comment. So, college it is, and even if he doesn't finish, he's still all the richer for the education he gains there. This happens to me all the time, if I don't want my answer influenced by what others have said. I agree with you! Loved the rest of your post, too! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 >>>I was actually kind of surprised. I gave him every possible out, but he didn't bite. If he's willing to work this hard now, doing stuff he really doesn't like that much (except the Latin -- he wanted to know if he could still do Latin in trade school! :lol: ) maybe he *will* be able to make a go of it once he gets to college. He's certainly got the determination part down -- I did everything I could to play Devil's advocate and try to talk him out of it! >>>> I don't think you need to talk him out of it because it is his idea and it isn't as if you are trying to force him to go which I think might lead to more problems later. Since he wants it and it is his choice likely he'll do well enough that you don't need to worry -- and if he doesn't at least you both can say that at least you gave it a try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 I don't think you need to talk him out of it because it is his idea and it isn't as if you are trying to force him to go which I think might lead to more problems later. Since he wants it and it is his choice likely he'll do well enough that you don't need to worry -- and if he doesn't at least you both can say that at least you gave it a try. Hi, Janice! My biggest worry all this time, actually, is that it *is* my idea (and his Dad's) and not his. I'm more convinced, after yesterday, that it actually *is* his idea now. Does that make sense? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Hi, Janice! My biggest worry all this time, actually, is that it *is* my idea (and his Dad's) and not his. I'm more convinced, after yesterday, that it actually *is* his idea now. Does that make sense? :) Absolutely. Now, I'm glad my message made sense also :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.