quark Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 (edited) Changed the title a bit...although he doesn't have a hook that I can think of, I think mentioning low-hook in the title might have been misleading. Edited July 20, 2016 by quark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 (edited) I would list any information that explains his math education in the school profile. There you can be quite detailed. Â I would use the math research as extracurricular. It sounds to me as if he really does not need more math credits, and it would drown in a sea of other credits and not stand out. He can elaborate when he has to describe extracurriculars. I would make sure to tie it in with all his other math based extracurricular activities so that there is continuity. Find a broad umbrella term under which to group all non-class math activities, emphasize it in the school profile, and maybe have him address it in the essay if he chooses that topic. Â I would focus the counselor letter on a description of his personality. If you are not going to use the old LOR, I don't think quoting it is a good way - YOU are the one writing your letter, you know your student - it would seem weird to me if you quoted what somebody else said about him in your letter, IYKWIM? If you think the description is so perfect, use the inspiration for your own letter, since you won't be providing DO's letter as reference. Â In my counselor letter, I addressed why DD does not have any AP exams. I gave it a positive spin and emphasized that she loves direct interaction and this has opted for live college classes in a classroom over independent studies for AP exams. Edited July 13, 2016 by regentrude 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 13, 2016 Author Share Posted July 13, 2016 I would list any information that explains his math education in the school profile. There you can be quite detailed. Â I would use the math research as extracurricular. It sounds to me as if he really does not need more math credits, and it would drown in a sea of other credits and not stand out. He can elaborate when he has to describe extracurriculars. I would make sure to tie it in with all his other math based extracurricular activities so that there is continuity. Find a broad umbrella term under which to group all non-class math activities, emphasize it in the school profile, and maybe have him address it in the essay if he chooses that topic. Â I would focus the counselor letter on a description of his personality. If you are not going to use the old LOR, I don't think quoting it is a good way - YOU are the one writing your letter, you know your student - it would seem weird to me if you quoted what somebody else said about him in your letter, IYKWIM? If you think the description is so perfect, use the inspiration for your own letter, since you won't be providing DO's letter as reference. Â In my counselor letter, I addressed why DD does not have any AP exams. I gave it a positive spin and emphasized that she loves direct interaction and this has opted for live college classes in a classroom over independent studies for AP exams. Â I won't be making any of the research work credits. They will all be listed under ECs. Â Last week, I was working on wording his non AP path and came up with something very similar! :thumbup: Â Thank you for all your help regentrude, very much appreciated! Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 I would see about getting Derek to write a letter for your son. Â What you quoted was totally amazing! Â Also, be sure that your counselor letter does not duplicate anything your son writes about in his essays--honestly, if he hasn't written them yet, you may want to wait until he does before you write your letter. Â I think you also want to avoid simply listing accomplishments or qualities in your letter. Â What I ended up doing is finding a theme that tied what I wanted to say about my son together, and that seemed to work. Â If you want to see what I'm talking about, I'd be happy to PM it to you. Â Â 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 I think you also want to avoid simply listing accomplishments or qualities in your letter. Â What I ended up doing is finding a theme that tied what I wanted to say about my son together, and that seemed to work. Â If you want to see what I'm talking about, I'd be happy to PM it to you. Â I agree; the letter should not be a list of things the student did, but rather speak about who the student is. Â My approach was to identify DD's three most important character traits and then elaborate on them: what they meant for her growing up, how they affected our schooling choices, what opportunities they opened to her, and what challenges they posed. Â With DS, I am tentatively considering focusing on his two main areas of interest and illustrating how they contribute to making him the young man he has become. There will be almost no mention of school in his letter. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennW in SoCal Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 As usual, regentrude has given sound advice, and I think you would be wise to follow it! Talk about YOUR kid in the counselor letter and why he is ready for college. Don't think about the math contest kids, don't think about the 18 and 19 year olds, don't start down the path of comparing your ds to all those other kids. Don't fret about him having or not having "a hook". That train of thought leads to madness!! Â Â You have the words to do this as demonstrated in the first post of this thread, as well as in the many other threads over the years. He is his own unique and wonderful self and any college should be eager to have him. He is a dream student as his CC and university grades prove. Â He is an interesting applicant, too, due to his music and math abilities. Â Talk it up. Â Consider it a chance to introduce your student. Â Write it all out then then let it sit for a week or so while you go enjoy some of your summer. Don't look at it again, don't edit or fret about it for a week or more. Your edit or rewrite will benefit from the perspective gained in taking a break. Â Â 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewelma Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Quark, your questions are so helpful. I don't even know what to ask to get all these lovely responses (same with the other thread). Â I'm watching closely! Â And the research your ds has done! Â Wow! Â So super cool! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Talk about YOUR kid in the counselor letter and why he is ready for college.  Oh, yes, I completely forgot: since DD was graduating early, I made a specific point to make clear at the end of the letter why I consider her ready for college.  "Even though DD will graduate from high school early at age XX, she is ready for college. She possesses the time management and study skills to excel academically; she is open and ready for new experiences, viewpoints and people; and she has practical life skills and common sense to make good choices. She is looking forward to attending a university where she is intellectually challenged, surrounded by a community of learners, and able to grow as a personality" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 13, 2016 Author Share Posted July 13, 2016 Thank you everyone! I have few words left in my head to express...so drained after working on his profile and worrying about the letter but your thoughts and PMs have really helped!  I am going to do what Jenn suggested and just let it marinate for a bit. By bathing the dogs and getting drenched in the process as it normally happens...any relief from paperwork and the heat is welcome. :laugh:  But I will be back! :grouphug: Many grateful hugs! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 Oh my, I finished my first draft of the counselor letter and polished my school profile!! In the space of about 4 hours!! :hurray: The difference in how I feel now...tremendous! Compared to how negatively I was looking at this earlier I now see how positive our experience has been because we followed our own flavor of homeschooling. The letter still needs a lot of work but at least I have a lot of it down on paper! Hurray! Â Many, many thanks to those of you who PMed/ emailed and answered here and on that other thread I started. I wish I could hug you all. :001_wub: You guys really gave me the encouragement and support I needed. Please ping me anytime you are visiting Northern CA okay? I'd love to treat you to coffee/ tea/ some homecooked goodies! :cheers2: Â Now, I have to allow myself to let it marinate... :unsure:Â Â 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewelma Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Congrats, Quark!  So satisfying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 Congrats, Quark!  So satisfying.  Thank you Ruth! And for all the encouragement too! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) Oh, you already finished your counselor letter?  Anyway, you got the gist of it.  HTH Edited July 14, 2016 by JoanHomeEd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 Â Oh, you already finished your counselor letter? [...] Â HTH This is VERY good! Thank you Joan! I am still working on it. This morning I woke up to realizing how much I rambled in the first draft so this will keep me more focused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Oh and don't forget to talk about 1 weakness/failure. Could be the "fear" of contest Math or whatever. Give the background + reasons and how it was overcome or it need not be a handicap. Remind the reader that almost all successful people fail first before they succeed. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) . Edited July 17, 2016 by quark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 I mentioned a C grade he received in one math midterm. The first C he has seen! And how he worked hard to turn that around and scored a 100% in the following midterm. Do you think that will work? Â sounds good. Â the failure/negative should always end in a positive spin. Â I talked about overcoming perfectionism 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 I mentioned a C grade he received in one math midterm. The first C he has seen! And how he worked hard to turn that around and scored a 100% in the following midterm. Do you think that will work? Â OK, but isn't there anything more major? :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) . Edited July 17, 2016 by quark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 IMHO, the thing about perfectionism is that it is too commonly used. I even read somewhere that pp considered it a humble brag :)Â No offense intended, regentrude. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 I don't feel compelled to share a weakness. I have bc it was part of who they are. But,no,not just for the sake of including something overcome. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) IMHO, the thing about perfectionism is that it is too commonly used. I even read somewhere that pp considered it a humble brag :) No offense intended, regentrude.  No offense taken. Perfectionism in a child can be a crippling obstacle that is very difficult to overcome and can be pertinent to address. I have, like 8FilltheHeart, no included it to seek out a weakness, but because it was relevant for explaining my student's personality and development.  The overachievers who apply to these highly selective schools will have a very big percentage of perfectionists; their achievement does all the bragging that is necessary. Edited July 14, 2016 by regentrude 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) 8, if you don't share it in the counselor letter, it might come up in the student's essay section anyway. IMHO, for a school with a "tough" reputation (difficult psets+tests & competitive classmates), it is good for the admission to know whether the kid has experienced failures and able to overcome them and thrive.  Edited July 14, 2016 by JoanHomeEd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) . Edited July 16, 2016 by quark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 8, if you don't share it in the counselor letter, it might come up in the student's essay section anyway. IMHO, for a school with a "tough" reputation (difficult psets+tests & competitive classmates), it is good for the admission to know whether the kid has experienced failures and able to overcome them and thrive.I disagree. There are a lot of ways to show perseverance which are not necessarily related to overcoming a failure. I can't think of a failure my senior has experienced that has shaped who she is. It would be a fabrication. That does not mean she has not demonstrated the ability to overcome great obstacles. Her achievements are her own. They don't have to follow any other "formula" or path. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) I disagree. There are a lot of ways to show perseverance which are not necessarily related to overcoming a failure. I can't think of a failure my senior has experienced that has shaped who she is. It would be a fabrication. That does not mean she has not demonstrated the ability to overcome great obstacles. Her achievements are her own. They don't have to follow any other "formula" or path. Â A failure doesn't have to shape anyone, it can be a revelation of how the kid respond. The rest of what you wrote is Greek to me.... :) Â To quark, this is supposed to be a brainstorming session... ideas are ideas, take whatever and use it or none at all, it's all good :) Edited July 14, 2016 by JoanHomeEd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) To quark, this is supposed to be a brainstorming session... ideas are ideas, take whatever and use it or none at all, it's all good :) Â Thank you!! I definitely appreciate the brainstorming...and definitely realize I have a lot more to think through! :laugh: I hope I didn't come across as unappreciative, I didn't mean that at all Joan. Â In responding to each idea here, I find it helpful to write out all I have about him...there might be something there too that I can use or leave out...I keep combing through all the responses here and samples sent to me through PMs while thinking about how the second draft could go. I am contemplating trying a totally new approach for the second one just to see what happens. E.g. a new intro and conclusion for example, or something a little more conversational to reflect the lightheartedness of our homeschooling journey... (honestly, we've laughed a lot and had so much fun along the way...I'm surprised I didn't think to mention that in my first draft!). Â I'm brainstorming too! :laugh: Edited July 14, 2016 by quark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 A failure doesn't have to shape anyone, it can be a revelation of how the kid respond. The rest of what you wrote is Greek to me.... :) Â To quark, this is supposed to be a brainstorming session... ideas are ideas, take whatever and use it or none at all, it's all good :) you stated that she should remind the reader that nearly all successful people have failed before they have succeeded. That sounds like a formula to me. Â If the student has a relevant situation which demonstrates overcoming a failure which ultimately led to success then of course they should include it. But to include a failure just to include it is unnecessary and may not represent the student at all. Â Like I said, I can't think of a failure that my dd has faced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) you stated that she should remind the reader that nearly all successful people have failed before they have succeeded. That sounds like a formula to me.  If the student has a relevant situation which demonstrates overcoming a failure which ultimately led to success then of course they should include it. But to include a failure just to include it is unnecessary and may not represent the student at all.  Like I said, I can't think of a failure that my dd has faced. There is nothing that quark should or should not do. Who's asking her to fabricate anything :confused1: It is a brainstorming session for quark, if you can't think/she can't think of an incident for your own/her child, then don't! Edited July 14, 2016 by JoanHomeEd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) Thank you!! I definitely appreciate the brainstorming...and definitely realize I have a lot more to think through! :laugh: I hope I didn't come across as unappreciative, I didn't mean that at all Joan. Â I'm not thinking along that line (appreciated or not), but this thread is getting weird :) Edited July 14, 2016 by JoanHomeEd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewelma Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Joan, I think your point was very valid and certainly applies to *my* child. Â Thanks for bringing it up or I never would have thought to add it. Â Ruth in NZ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) I think both points, 8's and Joan's, are valid. Even if I personally can't think of and use a failure story, there are others reading this who might and I hope this thread benefits them too. If I have the energy to do so, I will try to summarize some thoughts relevant to *my* journey and include thoughts shared here. When I was first thinking through this process, I would have loved a summary of someone's journey writing the counselor letter in addition to a sample/ finished draft. So many people have told me it's one of the hardest things they've had to do and I now, finally, understand why my very first reaction to counselor letter writing was "Gee, how fun" and then it was "Aaaargh" when I actually started trying to write it! Â Edited for typos (eek my fingers are growing fat!) Edited July 14, 2016 by quark 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanetC Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 First, here is my go-to article on what the school kids' letters look like:  http://hscw-counselorscorner.blogspot.com/2015/09/a-quick-refresher-on-counselor-letters.html  In terms of painting a broad picture of your child, write (a shorter version of) what you said in post #24. He's laid back, that's fine. That's actually probably great. There are a lot of high-strung, crazy, pushed and pressured kids trying to get into the schools on his list. It's to his advantage to not follow the cookie cutter!  Your job is to convince the reader that he is ready for college and will graduate. In this case, I think the main worry is going to be his age, so rather than writing about math (which is all over his folder anyway), write about his maturity, independence, and grace under pressure. Write about his ability to navigate groups where he's the youngest. Write about him being ready for this next step in his education.   3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewelma Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited) Good advice, JanetC! Â This is actually fascinating! Â Â So Quark, if I can borrow your thread for a moment, how would you write a letter about a student who doesn't actually like to do long hours of study? Â How do you say that 6 hours is about tops for him, and then he wants to read, and play badminton, and cook, and watch movies, and talk. Â DS gets far because he has amazing focus, but the hours, not so much. Basically, he wants a life. How do you sell that?!?! Edited July 15, 2016 by lewelma 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 15, 2016 Author Share Posted July 15, 2016 What immediately comes to mind is to maybe say how he gets a lot done in a day? Not just the academics but all those other things you have listed. You could say how he has so many interests and finds time to immerse himself in all of them. I might not mention that he can only study for 6 hours or something like that because I think these things can change (e.g. grow to become more hours or fewer hours depending on life situations). In mine, I tried to quickly describe how his days flow and did say that he normally studies 7-8 hours (just an average amount that seemed right to me) and is then flexible about how he spends his time, doing things outside or pursuing some fun research that intrigues him. I don't want to actually dwell on how much time he spends because some days it's 4, some days it's 10. I don't know if they need that level of detail. My main worry is that they will think he's achieved what he has because he was chained to his desk all day long. Him being an only child and all, I wanted to make it clear that he's out there with people, doing things too, not just studying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 15, 2016 Author Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited) First, here is my go-to article on what the school kids' letters look like:  http://hscw-counselorscorner.blogspot.com/2015/09/a-quick-refresher-on-counselor-letters.html  In terms of painting a broad picture of your child, write (a shorter version of) what you said in post #24. He's laid back, that's fine. That's actually probably great. There are a lot of high-strung, crazy, pushed and pressured kids trying to get into the schools on his list. It's to his advantage to not follow the cookie cutter!  Your job is to convince the reader that he is ready for college and will graduate. In this case, I think the main worry is going to be his age, so rather than writing about math (which is all over his folder anyway), write about his maturity, independence, and grace under pressure. Write about his ability to navigate groups where he's the youngest. Write about him being ready for this next step in his education.  Thank you Janet! Very helpful!  ETA: I am going to have a huge challenge cutting my 2 pages down to about a page. :laugh: May I be a rebel and not do that? :tongue_smilie: Edited July 15, 2016 by quark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Â how would you write a letter about a student who doesn't actually like to do long hours of study? Â How do you say that 6 hours is about tops for him, and then he wants to read, and play badminton, and cook, and watch movies, and talk. Â DS gets far because he has amazing focus, but the hours, not so much. Basically, he wants a life. How do you sell that?!?! Â Student is very focused and efficient in his work, has broad interests that span also non-academic areas. Elaborate. Â In my letter I told how DD is enthusiastic and can be excited about so many things besides work. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 In terms of painting a broad picture of your child, write (a shorter version of) what you said in post #24. He's laid back, that's fine. That's actually probably great. There are a lot of high-strung, crazy, pushed and pressured kids trying to get into the schools on his list. Yes, in fact, being laid back/chilled is also a characteristic of my kiddo who had to go through some pretty tough times during competition seasons (I used the word "easygoing" in my CL). Maybe it is just a personality trait but I think being home-brewed might have a lot to do with it :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited)  Yes, in fact, being laid back/chilled is also a characteristic of my kiddo who had to go through some pretty tough times during competition seasons (I used the word "easygoing" in my CL). Maybe it is just a personality trait but I think being home-brewed might have a lot to do with it  I firmly believe these things are personality traits where nurture can do very little. My children's distinctly different personalities (one high strung, ambitious perfectionist and one relaxed, but stubborn, minimalist) were glaringly apparent before they were even one year old. Parenting may have helped to mitigate either extreme somewhat, but did not change who they are at the core. Edited July 15, 2016 by regentrude 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 So Quark, if I can borrow your thread for a moment, how would you write a letter about a student who doesn't actually like to do long hours of study?  How do you say that 6 hours is about tops for him, and then he wants to read, and play badminton, and cook, and watch movies, and talk.  DS gets far because he has amazing focus, but the hours, not so much. Basically, he wants a life. How do you sell that?!?!  I would just sell/talk more about the amazing focus!  Urschel came to my mind when you mentioned focus.... http://qz.com/603267/an-nfl-player-was-just-accepted-to-the-math-phd-program-at-mit/ f IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m thinking about math on the football field, this is going to get me killed. So thatĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s just survival instinct. And when IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m doing math, itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s all encompassing and IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m 100 percent in it, and thereĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s really nothing else to think about when IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m doing math. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016  I would focus the counselor letter on a description of his personality. If you are not going to use the old LOR, I don't think quoting it is a good way - YOU are the one writing your letter, you know your student - it would seem weird to me if you quoted what somebody else said about him in your letter, IYKWIM? If you think the description is so perfect, use the inspiration for your own letter, since you won't be providing DO's letter as reference.  In my counselor letter, I addressed why DD does not have any AP exams. I gave it a positive spin and emphasized that she loves direct interaction and this has opted for live college classes in a classroom over independent studies for AP exams. Fwiw, I had quotes from others in my counselor letter.  I don't have any idea how the admissions offices view counselor letters from parents. However, if I were an admissions officer, I would not put as much weight in a letter from a parent as I would if the exact same letter were written by a guidance counselor that was not related to the applicant.  I used quotes from others to help substantiate my comments. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Fwiw, I had quotes from others in my counselor letter.  I don't have any idea how the admissions offices view counselor letters from parents. However, if I were an admissions officer, I would not put as much weight in a letter from a parent as I would if the exact same letter were written by a guidance counselor that was not related to the applicant.  I used quotes from others to help substantiate my comments.  I have no idea how admissions offices view the letters either, but I don't think that quoting somebody else substantiates anything, because there is no way to verify the validity of the quote anyway. For all they know, I could have made it up. They surely won't waste time checking up on it. So, I don't find that quoting proves anything beyond me saying so.  To the bolded: I see the purpose of the letter as simply explaining how my student ticks. I do not need "substantiation" because I am not selling my students or am listing their achievements - the achievements are documented and substantiated elsewhere. I merely explain the kind of person my kid is, and to do that, a parent does not require outside validation, because we have lived with the kid for 17 years and nobody knows better what character and personality they have. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited) I see the purpose of the letter as simply explaining how my student ticks. I do not need "substantiation" because I am not selling my students or am listing their achievements - the achievements are documented and substantiated elsewhere. I merely explain the kind of person my kid is, and to do that, a parent does not require outside validation, because we have lived with the kid for 17 years and nobody knows better what character and personality they have. Â This is exactly how I approach the counselor letter. Â My kids are self-motivated and design a lot of their own courses. Their achievements speak for themselves and are validated throughout the rest of their application. I describe how they tackle subjects, how they find resources to supplement what they want to achieve, what their character traits are and how those play out in their academics, our family, and the community. Â I tell the story of who they are. Â I do not try to present our homeschool as a traditional school with traditional classes, bc it isn't. Â I discuss that we homeschool precisely bc I don't want my kids limited to functioning in a traditional classroom. Â I describe how I give my kids freedom over their educations and that their high school education reflects what that student has chosen to do with that freedom. Â B/c their transcripts and accomplishments mirror exactly what they have chosen to do, I have no reason to believe the content is doubted. Â Contrary. Â In my dd's correspondence with numerous depts, she has been repeatedly asked where she goes to school in order to achieve what she has accomplished. Â :) Â Â Their letters are really just written descriptions of the authentic them. Â I do not feel the need to justify or defend my writing their counselor letter. Â I am the guidance counselor. Â It is what it is. Â That came with the decision to homeschool. Edited July 15, 2016 by 8FillTheHeart 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Fwiw, I had quotes from others in my counselor letter.  I don't have any idea how the admissions offices view counselor letters from parents. However, if I were an admissions officer, I would not put as much weight in a letter from a parent as I would if the exact same letter were written by a guidance counselor that was not related to the applicant.  I used quotes from others to help substantiate my comments.  The problem with letters from guidance counselors who work in public high schools is that they don't know who most of the students are.  They are assigned way too many students (in our district, anywhere from 350-550 students per guidance counselor).  I can't imagine that an admissions officer can give much weight in a letter from a counselor in a situation like that.  1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanHomeEd Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited) I firmly believe these things are personality traits where nurture can do very little. My children's distinctly different personalities (one high strung, ambitious perfectionist and one relaxed, but stubborn, minimalist) were glaringly apparent before they were even one year old. Parenting may have helped to mitigate either extreme somewhat, but did not change who they are at the core. Maybe nurture can do more than "very little"... Â http://www.medicaldaily.com/nature-vs-nurture-debate-50-year-twin-study-proves-it-takes-two-determine-human-334686 Â ETA: hopefully this exchange is not going to derail this thread :) Edited July 15, 2016 by JoanHomeEd 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 I have no idea how admissions offices view the letters either, but I don't think that quoting somebody else substantiates anything, because there is no way to verify the validity of the quote anyway. For all they know, I could have made it up. They surely won't waste time checking up on it. So, I don't find that quoting proves anything beyond me saying so.  To the bolded: I see the purpose of the letter as simply explaining how my student ticks. I do not need "substantiation" because I am not selling my students or am listing their achievements - the achievements are documented and substantiated elsewhere. I merely explain the kind of person my kid is, and to do that, a parent does not require outside validation, because we have lived with the kid for 17 years and nobody knows better what character and personality they have. :confused1: Well, if you are specific enough when identifying the quoted individual, there is a way to easily validate the comment. Now I don't think that an adcom would go to the trouble of verifying the quote, but I do think that a third party testimony is more credible than a mother making the exact same statement. Obviously, my thinking on this seems to be in the minority, and that is fine. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited) :confused1: Well, if you are specific enough when identifying the quoted individual, there is a way to easily validate the comment. Now I don't think that an adcom would go to the trouble of verifying the quote, but I do think that a third party testimony is more credible than a mother making the exact same statement. Obviously, my thinking on this seems to be in the minority, and that is fine. :)  I guess it really depends on what is being said.  If I say my dd has a passion for Russian, spends hours independently perfecting her pronunciation because she truly loves the language, and pushes herself to master the language,  and I then follow that description with stating that one judge came up to her and told her that she was initially judging her as a heritage speaker and was astounded when she found out that dd's only exposure is with a tutor over Skype, would that be considered believable?  I would think so b/c elsewhere on her application she has regional and international awards supporting what I just wrote.  One thing homeschoolers can do to support their application is submit a portfolio. So, for example, dd is going to include a link to the video she submitted to the international competition that won 1st place.  She is submitting copies of her awards. She is going to include a copy of the book she has translated.  She is submitting essays that she has written in French.  (ETA:  She has sent the video to a couple of depts and the response has been effusive praise.  If an admission's officer doubts the ability in the video and assuming that skepticism leads to verification, then that will be there. :) )  Everything in my counselor letter is completely evident in her application.  It simply provides a 3d image (via words) to an otherwise 2d process.  FWIW, zeemee is an easily accessible platform that most schools will accept. Edited July 15, 2016 by 8FillTheHeart 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited) , but I do think that a third party testimony is more credible than a mother making the exact same statement.   If they won't believe me that I can describe my child's personality, why would they believe anything I say about academics like coursework and grades? To me, the counselor letter seems the most obviously believable thing, because my own child's character traits are the one area where nobody else has even comparable expertise. If I feel they cannot accept that, why would I even bother writing course descriptions and a school profile? Edited July 15, 2016 by regentrude 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted July 15, 2016 Author Share Posted July 15, 2016 Enjoying the exchange and learning from it. :001_wub: Â I feel like running a poll... :blink: Draft 2 is now about 1020 words compared to Draft 1's 1200-ish. I think I managed that without losing the earlier feel I was so excited about. Too many words? Waaay too many words? Or can I get away with it? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited) Â Draft 2 is now about 1020 words compared to Draft 1's 1200-ish. I think I managed that without losing the earlier feel I was so excited about. Too many words? Waaay too many words? Or can I get away with it? Â Mine was a bit less than 600 words; I strove not to exceed one page. Â I think words matter less than pages. I would definitely not exceed 2 pages. Whether the 2nd page is full or 3/4 full probably won't matter - but the visual impact is the page number. Too long, and it won't be read. Edited July 15, 2016 by regentrude 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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