Switching musical instruments

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

My oldest child has always had a lot of musical interest. Last year, in 4th grade, we were finally ready to start piano after moving across the country. But we had difficulty finding a good teacher at that time and found a guitar teacher we liked. He had a guitar so we decided to start with that given his age.

 

He doesn't practice nearly often enough. He sets a timer now when I make him. Now he complains its bc his fingers hurt. We told him this will get better with practice. His teacher thinks he does fine when he has a lesson bc he picks it up quickly.

 

He also joined choir, loved it and practiced nearly every day without prompting.

 

Now his brother (entering 2nd grade) is doing piano. They have been playing around on the keyboard, and he wants to switch to piano this year. If we were mid-year, I'd make him complete the year, but we are on summer break.

 

I am concerned he just wants to switch because of the fingers being sore and piano looking like the new, fun, shiny thing. I told him I'd like to see him practice guitar every day for a month first to see if his fingers are less sore. But he doesn't seem to love the guitar as much. I don't want to set a precedent of switching around a bunch either.

 

What are your thoughts?

[AggieMama]

Is there anyway to add piano to the guitar and have your son make a one year commitment to guitar before giving it up?

[Runningmom80]

We are almost in the exact same predicament, same age and everything, except ours is double bass to piano.  I think this year we are going to suck it up and pay for both lessons and then have him decide at the end of the year.  He doesn't seem to love the bass but plays piano every chance he gets.  It's tough and I have posted on here for advice in the past and still don't know what to do. My DS has been playing Bass for almost 5 years, but if it was only a year, I'd have an easier time switching him.

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

I can't afford dual lessons right now, but I was thinking about just having him practice on the side since we are in summer break now. Maybe he could pick it up again later.

[Runningmom80]

I can't afford dual lessons right now, but I was thinking about just having him practice on the side since we are in summer break now. Maybe he could pick it up again later.

I hear you, it's definitely not the ideal. Honestly, in your shoes, I'd just let him switch to piano. It might be easier having both kids on the same instrument.

[Arcadia]

My DS10 went from flute to cello to flute. He tried cello because DS11 started cello and he wanted to try. They self taught piano. I tried plenty of instruments at their age and like most of them. I was in school band so my parents only paid for piano lessons while everything else was free. My public school band was well endowed.

 

Between piano and guitar, I would let him do piano now and come back to guitar later. Piano is easier for a child to learn music theory because you are forced to sight read both treble and bass clefs. I picked up guitar at 14 from girl scouts and my skill level was okay for recreational enjoyment.

[Jackie]

Without the need to purchase a new instrument, I have no issue letting my child switch. I have told her that depending on the cost of a new instrument, it will be X number of years before I am willing to buy another instrument of any type. Those startup costs can be brutal.

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

Thank you all for the advice!

[Janeway]

I would not make him continue guitar. My husband told me he took it when he was a child and it was torture because of the pain on his fingers. My parents made me take the clarinet, which was torture for me. It made my jaw hurt and gave me head aches. My parents said clarinet or nothing. I really wanted to do the flute or violin. I never wanted to do the clarinet. That was their idea. I ended up with nothing.

[Tracy]

I don't think that there is necessarily a wrong answer here.  But I do think that you need to decide what your personal/family philosophy about music education is going to be.  Is it enrichment?  In that case, the child should get some enjoyment out of it.  Is it part of your curriculum to learn an instrument well?  Then you treat it like teaching reading or writing.  It is just something that you do.  If the latter is your philosophy, then you should also have some reason for choosing guitar.  Maybe it is because it is cheap and convenient.  Maybe there is a cultural reason for it.  But in any case, you need to choose your philosophy and stick with it.  

 

In our family, we want the kids to learn piano, specifically, because it will be a service at church, where we don't have a paid musical staff.  Our house rule is that they can choose another instrument after they become proficient playing the hymns. (My 11yo is very close now.  We'll be fixing up my flute for her to start on soon.) Additionally, I understand that all other instruments are easier to learn after learning piano.  Now, I have one child who loves music and another who could take it or leave it.  Knowing that it is always something we do in our home cuts down on the requests to quit or change instruments.  

 

All that being said, neither of my children hate piano.  If that were the case, I might have to re-examine my philosophy.  

[EKS]

I'd let him switch.

[musicianmom]

*

Edited May 21, 2022 by musicianmom

[MerryAtHope]

I'd let him switch. One, you already have instruments and he could switch back later if he wanted to try guitar again. Two, guitar was never his first love. Three, he has shown that when he's passionate about something (like singing), he practices regularly. Not that he'll never need pushing to practice--but there's just a difference when his passion motivates him. Bonus, piano and guitar are both useful instruments for kids who like to sing. 

 

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

I appreciate the further insight.  My philosophy is that my kids are required to learn a musical instrument before they leave my house, but it can be their choice (except drums because I grew up with a drummer and have endured enough.)  I always wanted to learn piano and never had the resources myself, an I see value in learning an instrument, especially piano or guitar.  I am happy to let him switch to something he really wants to do, but I was torn because I don't want to encourage quitting just because it is hard and his brother's instrument looked easier and had cool buttons.  I know his fingers wouldn't hurt if he practiced more.  But I have no issues with piano.  He initially wanted to learn both.  It was more of questioning whether this was a character lesson on quitting to something perceived easier (which is a trend with this child for other things) or if this was truly what he wanted.  I want him to stick with something and develop a love for music.  In fact, I'd love it if he picked up more than one instrument.  But I don't mind him switching for the right reasons.  I will talk with him more and probably let him switch.

[Arcadia]

It was more of questioning whether this was a character lesson on quitting to something perceived easier (which is a trend with this child for other things) or if this was truly what he wanted.

Music, art and sports are some areas that hubby and I had a hard time deciding as kids. Everything looks wonderful :lol:

 

My kids do hit humps and setbacks and will think of quitting. We just go with gut feel whether to let a child quit for good, let the child take a break instead of quit, or make the child "bulldoze" through. It is easier for us to enforce not quitting on the 3Rs since those are compulsory get it done stuff. Having less choices help a lot, we offer two or three choices usually.

[mamakelly]

My middle son tried guitar when he was younger and he said his fingers hurt so badly. We let him stop playing, and he picked up bass several years later with no pain. Sometimes their hands just need to be bigger. Let himself switch instruments.

Edited July 14, 2016 by mamakelly

[wintermom]

I think that if sore fingers are an issue, that this should be addressed immediately. There is no need for this, as young beginners can play pain-free on a classical guitar with nylon strings. Metal strings do hurt, and it's surprising that the teacher let the pain go on. The cost of a beginner's classical guitar is less than $100. Two of my sons started guitar lessons at ages 6 and 10 using an acoustic guitar. They experienced pain, and their teacher immediately switched them to classical guitar and there's been no pain at all for the last 4 years. Ds 14 recently tried electric bass guitar with thick metal strings, and they are painful. He disliked playing that guitar, but still loves his classical.

[Hypatia.]

My kids start with an instrument (violin so far), and then they can change the next year if they want. I'm not letting them change every year though, so it has to be something they think through. DS1 changed from violin to viola, then was talking about changing to guitar next year but I nixed it for now, just because I don't want to keep buying more instruments. (We already have 4 sizes of violins, a viola, a cello, flute, & piccolo hanging out in the office.)

[UCF612]

I'd let him switch. I started with clarinet while my best friend played trumpet. I played hers one day and loved it. My parents let me switch and I stuck with trumpet for years. I would have quit clarinet and band altogether much sooner had I not been able to switch.

[MrsWeasley]

Truly, if he still complains about his fingers hurting, I don't think he gave guitar enough of a chance. Can you and his teacher find a goal for him to work towards and once he reaches that goal you revisit switching? Can you commit to practicing with him as he works towards that goal? 

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

He initially didn't complain about his fingers. He just didn't practice as often. But he always did really well in his lessons and has never complained to his teacher. His teacher did say that practice would mitigate any finger pain, but he has not practiced often. He picks up the concepts and learns very fast so he will tell me he knows it and doesn't want to practice. He does not have metal strings. Then when his brother got a keyboard, he wanted to switch and only then told me his fingers hurt. That's why I am not sure if he is just being flighty. However, I think given his young age, maybe it would be better to let him switch and drill down on the practice that he can do along with his brother that won't have any finger pain issues. Then he could pick up guitar later.

 

I would love for him to learn both anyways, and he is already figuring out how to play certain songs by ear on it. My brother and father are very musical and learned multiple instruments by ear. They now own a pedalboard company so he will be around music. But I have a feeling he will be playing on the piano anyways...can't keep him off. Might as well get him lessons while he is enjoying it and revisit guitar later. Thank you all for your insight.

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

Duplicate

Edited July 16, 2016 by AdventuresinHomeschooling

[Arcadia]

His teacher did say that practice would mitigate any finger pain, but he has not practiced often.

Guitar (strings in general) practice build calluses on his fingertips. If he softened the calluses, pain comes back until the calluses harden again. Link explains better

http://www.theguitarlesson.com/guitar-lesson-blog/beginner-guitar-lessons/build-calluses-guitar/

[sarahsheart]

I cannot speak yet from a parent platform (mine our just now 7, 4 & 2) but as a music educator for over 9 years and as a student of music since I was 5 yrs old I would suggest that you let him switch lessons over to the piano (the guitar can stay around) if he is truly not enjoying the guitar. Piano is a great base to spring from and all college music majors must take 4 semesters of piano regardless of their primary musical instrument, including voice. Now I would also take what Tracy said earlier about your personal family philosophy towards music education as her point was exactly what my husband voiced when I brought up your post to him. I will also say that many years ago one of my first families started their oldest (a daughter) with me and eventually added then second (a son) in lessons. Their son hated piano lessons from day one and no amount of my trying different approaches made a difference. They insisted he take piano for 3 yrs and put us both through quite a bit of stress. Finally they allowed him to stop and the next year he picked up the trumpet, fell in love and became very proficient. As much I have loved the piano since a child I fell in love with my friend's violin when I was 17 yrs old. I really wish that I had been able to explore different instruments earlier in life although I still went on to major in piano and minor in violin and played violin in the orchestra but I would have loved to add earlier years to my experience. 

As for calluses from stringed instruments you do have to work & practice and build up the calluses and if you don't play for a time & they will soften will need to be "rebuilt". I play violin, mandolin & guitar and all the strings from the different instruments hit differently on my fingers. It had been a few years since I picked up a mandolin and when I did this summer just playing a few songs killed my fingers even thought I play my violin on an *almost* daily bases. Also, if you try the classical guitar only the higher 3 strings are nylon, the lower 3 are still steel. And the actual fret board is broader on a classical guitar requiring a large hand or more stretching. I have the hand size of an average 10 yr old and can manage a classical but find it harder due my hand size. 

 

Hope this helps some.

Edited July 21, 2016 by sarahsheart

[Arcadia]

I have the hand size of an average 10 yr old and can manage a classical but find it harder due my hand size.

My hand size is smaller than my DS10's. I use a Yamaha ladies classical guitar. It is like a 7/8 size guitar but cheaper.