Talk me down off the ledge (and to reward you for reading this mess, a baby pic!)

[FlockOfSillies]

I don't even know how to begin. I'm just so discouraged right now. I don't know if it's the new baby, or early puberty, or just fallen human nature, but my Goose is driving me nuts.

 

DD8 has "selective ADD" -- plenty of mental focus available for making party hats, or butterfly wings out of sheet after sheet after sheet of 8.5x11 paper, or carefully rolling and taping paper napkins around our eating utensils while the food is getting cold and the rest of the table remains unprepared; but when it comes to work, fuhgeddaboutit.

 

She can take great pains to make a craft "just so," but she can't remember that her middle name ends in "-ara," not "-era." A couple of weeks ago she misspelled BOTH her first name and her middle name. Please, just shoot me now. Why am I homeschooling?!

 

If I don't sit right there with her for the entire school day, the work won't get done. And it takes all day because she's so easily distracted and slow in her work. And then she has the gall to wail, "I don't get any free time!" when the neighbor kids come over and she can't play with them. It doesn't matter how many times I remind her that she spent her free time already.

 

My dd doesn't realize it, but she's holding all of us hostage. I've tried keeping the neighbor kids away until she's done, but that just punishes my littles (ds6 and dd4) because she'll take the whole afternoon to finish.

 

Since I have to sit with her, I can't get anything else done around the house. I can't get the littles to do any work because they require supervision. Almost every surface in my home is a Flylady Hot Spot. I'm tired of living out of laundry baskets, embarrassed every time my mom (bless her heart) tells me to bag up the clothes and send them to her house, and frustrated that my infant is rapidly outgrowing her bassinet while the girls' bedroom is still not ready for her to move in. (I need to empty and remodel the office so TBOM can have his own room.)

 

I have tons of games and puzzles and fun stuff that I want to do with my kids -- the kind of stuff that I thought homeschooling would give me the time and flexibility to do -- and I can't do any of it. It brings me to tears just to think about it.

 

DH is doing the best he can to help. He's had a few days off lately, and he's sat with her to make sure she gets her work done, even if it means staying up late to finish what wasn't completed that day. She's in 4th grade now and I really want to have a fixed end time for my school day, leaving the day's unfinished work be "homework" due the next day. But I need to come up with a system that holds her accountable for getting the work done that night. If things keep up at their current pace, we won't have finished anything even close to what I consider a full year's worth of work. We homeschoolers like to talk of "working at the student's pace," but right now she's working at a snail's pace.

 

It has helped me a lot for dh to see for himself what I have to deal with. He's been great about suggesting changes and restarting our incentive system. We're planning to take our old chore cards and add school subjects to the mix, complete with cards for "wiggle breaks." He's really pushing for us to get a cleaning lady. He's also contemplating telecommuting one day a week to help with some of the teaching.

 

I want so badly to do right by my girl. She is so bright, but she is also my most challenging child to parent. I've tried really hard this year to be more encouraging and less critical, to say "OK" more often, instead of reflexively blurting out "No" at every opportunity. More often than not I've failed miserably.

 

So please, if you've BTDT, or if you have practical tips on how to manage all this, send them my way.

[FlockOfSillies]

ACK! Where did the pic go? I attached it. Hmmm... off to read the How To stuff.

[sdWTMer]

I'm so very sorry that you're going through this right now. Just wanted to let you know.

 

:(

[FlockOfSillies]

http://flockofsillies.blogspot.com

[kalanamak]

http://www.amazon.com/Ending-Homework-Hassle-John-Rosemond/dp/0836228073

 

Your saga sounds JUST like story after story in there. Basically, you are owning the problem. Rosemond advises letting the kid own the problem.

Quick, pleasant read.

[FlockOfSillies]

"Letting the kid own the problem" -- yes, that's exactly what I want. I just need to figure out how to accomplish that w/ the right combo of carrot and stick.

 

Thanks for the book rec.

[JudoMom]

http://flockofsillies.blogspot.com

 

:D

 

I've got no help for you. This is a cyclical battle I seem to be fighting with my own ds8. The more we can stay in a routine, the better, but just last night he was finishing up some Math and Handwriting after Judo because for some reason the several hours he had during the day to finish were about 30 minutes to short :eek:.

[Mx5]

I don't even know how to begin. I'm just so discouraged right now. I don't know if it's the new baby, or early puberty, or just fallen human nature, but my Goose is driving me nuts.

 

DD8 has "selective ADD" -- plenty of mental focus available for making party hats, or butterfly wings out of sheet after sheet after sheet of 8.5x11 paper, or carefully rolling and taping paper napkins around our eating utensils while the food is getting cold and the rest of the table remains unprepared; but when it comes to work, fuhgeddaboutit.

 

She can take great pains to make a craft "just so," but she can't remember that her middle name ends in "-ara," not "-era." A couple of weeks ago she misspelled BOTH her first name and her middle name. Please, just shoot me now. Why am I homeschooling?!

 

If I don't sit right there with her for the entire school day, the work won't get done. And it takes all day because she's so easily distracted and slow in her work. And then she has the gall to wail, "I don't get any free time!" when the neighbor kids come over and she can't play with them. It doesn't matter how many times I remind her that she spent her free time already.

 

My dd doesn't realize it, but she's holding all of us hostage. I've tried keeping the neighbor kids away until she's done, but that just punishes my littles (ds6 and dd4) because she'll take the whole afternoon to finish.

 

Since I have to sit with her, I can't get anything else done around the house. I can't get the littles to do any work because they require supervision. Almost every surface in my home is a Flylady Hot Spot. I'm tired of living out of laundry baskets, embarrassed every time my mom (bless her heart) tells me to bag up the clothes and send them to her house, and frustrated that my infant is rapidly outgrowing her bassinet while the girls' bedroom is still not ready for her to move in. (I need to empty and remodel the office so TBOM can have his own room.)

 

I have tons of games and puzzles and fun stuff that I want to do with my kids -- the kind of stuff that I thought homeschooling would give me the time and flexibility to do -- and I can't do any of it. It brings me to tears just to think about it.

 

DH is doing the best he can to help. He's had a few days off lately, and he's sat with her to make sure she gets her work done, even if it means staying up late to finish what wasn't completed that day. She's in 4th grade now and I really want to have a fixed end time for my school day, leaving the day's unfinished work be "homework" due the next day. But I need to come up with a system that holds her accountable for getting the work done that night. If things keep up at their current pace, we won't have finished anything even close to what I consider a full year's worth of work. We homeschoolers like to talk of "working at the student's pace," but right now she's working at a snail's pace.

 

It has helped me a lot for dh to see for himself what I have to deal with. He's been great about suggesting changes and restarting our incentive system. We're planning to take our old chore cards and add school subjects to the mix, complete with cards for "wiggle breaks." He's really pushing for us to get a cleaning lady. He's also contemplating telecommuting one day a week to help with some of the teaching.

 

I want so badly to do right by my girl. She is so bright, but she is also my most challenging child to parent. I've tried really hard this year to be more encouraging and less critical, to say "OK" more often, instead of reflexively blurting out "No" at every opportunity. More often than not I've failed miserably.

 

So please, if you've BTDT, or if you have practical tips on how to manage all this, send them my way.

 

The reason I ask if you're doing "school at home" is that it sounds like your curriculum or ideals are driving you. Your dd is only 8, which is very young. You might be sick of reading that, but typically what we do as moms is expect much more of our firstborns than of subsequent children reaching those ages.

 

School can be those puzzles, games & fun stuff. Your curriculum could be converted to a framework, but remember that you are the teacher - you decide what to use and what to skip, modify, or enhance.

 

I learned to relax a lot over the past 13yrs. of this homeschooling adventure.

 

Seriously, any of my kids at age 8 were only required to work on math & lang. arts. By lang. arts I mean Explode the Code books. They color a lot, make their own books, play Legos, and run around. I keep track of what they accomplish, remembering that learning isn't confined to pages done or time spent.

 

I have allowed my kids to do even numbered math problems on even numbered calendar days, odd on odd and guess what? Every single one of my 5 kids score consistently in the 95th percentile and above in our required annual standardized tests.

 

My firstborn, now almost 18yrs old, calls himself "the experiment child". He smiles when he does this, but he is absolutely right. Looking back, I am embarrassed at the expectations I had of him.

 

I, too, have sat next to my dd while she struggled through math. Guess what? She's now 15 and flying through Algebra 2 (on cd... and she doesn't have to have her head on my shoulder while she does it!)

 

Look into Mary Hood's writings. She wrote "The Relaxed Homeschool". She has a doctorate in education! Here's a link to an article she wrote for the Home Educator's Family Times. It is worth every moment it takes to read it!

"The Relaxed Homeschool Mindset"

 

Home Education Magazine has an interview with Mary Hood from back in 1997 here. Although the article is old, it is fantastic.

 

Here are some tips Mary outlines in one of the above articles when dealing with an unmotivated child. I hope they encourage you!

If your kids seem unmotivated, what I would do is the following:

 

1. Share with them your thoughts on the matter. Don't just put away the textbooks and leave them to wonder what "Mom's latest trick" is.

 

2. Put aside all the structured work for awhile.

 

3. Keep disciplinary parameters in place. Tell them, "You can't watch television, talk on the phone or do computer games during the time that I want to see something productive going on." For us, that was always the morning hours. Then sit back and let boredom be a motivator. When they say, "Well, what CAN I do?" Tell them, "Think of something, or I'll think of something for you."

 

4. Continue taking the kids to the library, even if they show some resistance. Take out some interesting books and read to them on a regular basis, unless they are older and are reading sufficiently on their own. Don't force them to do book reports or prove they have comprehended anything. Just focus on the reading itself for awhile.

 

5. Start educating yourself and finding things that you can be enthusiastic about. Don't force their involvement, but do share your excitement about whatever it is you are doing or learning.

 

6. If your children show any spark of interest in anything at all, be sure to follow up, even if the interest doesn't strike you as "academic" enough for your taste. In other words, if they suddenly want to learn guitar, or buy some new legos, or dig a big hole in the backyard, encourage them to do it.

 

7. Give them enough time. Too often, parents try a more relaxed approach, but give up just before boredom would have driven the kids to a renewed enthusiasm for learning.

 

8. Spend lots of time on your knees, especially if you are dealing with a child who may be under spiritual attack himself.

 

9. Also, use this time to make some tentative plans for fun, educational projects once you think the child has had enough down-time to be a willing participant again.

 

(Editor’s Note) These excerpts from Mary Hood's book, The Enthusiastic Homeschooler were reprinted with permission. This book tells Mary's own story as a daughter, granddaughter, wife, mother and homeschooling parent - telling many stories while weaving in sound educational, parenting, and family building principles. This book is for everyone - especially for mothers who want to prepare for the seasons of life that they will enter - that will happen to every woman eventually. "Life happens!" Wonderful things, horrible things, boring things and all kinds of experiences encompass this thing called life. Mary Hood tackles them all and helps you to embrace, accept and learn through all life's experiences.

[AprilTN]

I wonder if the work load is too much for her. Just wondering, because my oldest is 9 and she is only a 3rd grader.

 

My dd is easily distracted, and my dh claims that he was just like her when he was a kid. He suggested that I face her work table against a wall, and I thought it was so cruel. But it has helped her so much. She has independent work, but we began with short assignments and have slowly built up. Routine is very important to a distractable child. So we do her subjects in the same order each day, and her independent work is highly structured and very similar from day to day.

 

I assign "homework" for her, which is the same every night: 1)Read a few pages from whatever book we are reading and 2)go through the multiplication flash cards. If she does her homework then she gets a sticker on a homework chart, and when it is full (about 30 spaces) she gets a prize (I took her to get ice cream the last time).

 

Also, don't get discouraged if it takes a while for her to get into certain habits. At first, my dd would forget to do her "homework" quite a bit, and I really didn't remind her for the most part, and I never gave her a lecture about it. After she started to earn stickers on her homework page, and realized that going for ice cream was only so many more days away, she really started to take more responsibility. Now, she is so in the habit that I NEVER have to remind her. That is amazing to me as I type it.

 

And I made a point to make sure the only way she was going to go out for ice cream was to earn it---otherwise, it wouldn't have been as important to her.

 

Their ability to hyperfocus can be used to help them develop habits, so use that to your advantage.

[Jean in Newcastle]

One thing that has helped me is to assign really short doable tasks: like 3 math problems (or 5 if she can go that long). The important thing is that it be short enough for her to do without her mind wandering etc. Then praise her up and down! And let her run up and down the hall one time to get out her energy. Or do some simple calisthenics at her desk. Then assign the next 3 math problems. It may sound like a real bother (and it is at first) but it actually is faster and easier than having her sit there for an hour doodling and only having 3 problems to show for it! Once she is in a routine of getting a chunk of 3 problems done at a time with no extraneous goofing off during that time, up it to 5 problems. This is a training process and it will be awhile yet before you can leave her to her work and just go and do your own (and she may always need to check in with you every 15 min. or so, even when she gets this system down) but it's doable!

[Tammyla]

Brenda, Wow! That baby is adorable...Beautiful, beautiful.

 

Now, for the older dd/8 I'm going to ask you to think about her independent work placement. There are a number of theories, but the ability to the work independently in a reasonable time is often a good indicator of the right level. Children often have a wide range of working abilities. Instruction level, independent working level and the hand holding level.

 

Don't be afraid to reevaluate and consider some tweaks or changes. Eight is on the young side for 4th grade and she may need a little more time to work alone on this level.

 

[Vida Winter]

I am making some progress with her and will share what has been working. Things were falling apart at my house, too, until recently. I decided to sort of "re-invent" myself and my homeschool. My older dd is going to 7th grade PS so I really only have to teach 2nd grade and I have a 3yo too. BUT my 7yodd is such a kid. I have taught co-op classes with 17 kids much easier than it is to teach this one kid at home.

 

I am at the point where I accept that my dd Just. Won't. Sit. Still. unless it is an art project, which can hold her complete attention for hours. "I am an artist," she says. I can't argue with her. But, I tell her, "Artists still need to know how to solve math problems, ..."

 

So here's what I have done. I ordered a few "sensory" type items from Therapro. I figure that's a cheap way of getting this fidgety kid under control without going to therapy (both of us). A big hit - an exercise ball. Just a huge ball she can sit on. Keeps her busy while I read aloud. Next, giant spongy dice - we sit on the floor and roll these, make up games and practice math facts. I love these so much I'm going to order more so we can play more complicated games. Next, pencil grips. I ordered the assortment pack - 5 for $2.95 or something like that. It helps her hold on to the pencil (does your Goose drop the pencil as much as mine?). Of course I couldn't forget my 3yodd so I got some play-doh and a Gertie ball ($5 from therapro) which is an inflatable 9" ball - easy to hold on to for a kid.

 

Next I pulled out the old phonics program and started using flash cards like crazy. She does better with flash cards than worksheets.

 

For myself, I have read a few inspirational things. "Marva Collins' Way" has been a wonderful source for me. It is helping me to be a better teacher. I also listened to the audio of "Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire" by Rafe Esquith (we have a subscription to Audible so it was only really $10). He is very over-the-top (does the man ever sleep?) but I did get a few ideas from him.

 

But the best thing I have discovered is the SCM Organizer at SimplyCharlotteMason.com. I am still on the 30-day free trial. It is amazing. Think - Sonlight Instructor's Guide - only better. Use your own resources to schedule each lesson. Check off what has been worked on, and what is finished. The next thing is automatically scheduled. You can adjust and change things if you decide not to use a particular book - just de-schedule it.

 

The wonderful thing about the tool is this - it breaks things down into manageable chunks. Say you want to read "Little House in the Big Woods" - just add it as a resource. It is one of the books they have already entered so it is broken down into each chapter already. It schedules each chapter for you as a "lesson" that you can check off. If you enter a book that is not in their database just type in the chapters yourself if you want it scheduled in small chunks. Same with math lessons. Same with science experiments. It takes a bit of work to get it all entered but I am experiencing a kind of euphoria with this online tool. I am a real box-checker and list-maker so it helps me a great deal. You can generate all kinds of reports, so you can see your progress and feel good about what you have accomplished with your students.

 

Next - this has to to with the get down to work attitudes. We have implemented a hand signal. The "T" time out signal that referees use is used to mean "calm down" then we hug and talk quietly (not a real time-out, which never did us much good anyway). She can use this for me as well as me for her - I tend to get loud and over excited when she does.

 

Ok, I have gone on enough. My next order of business is to get a few more tactile things from Therapro because my kids are only happy if they are squishing, bouncing, or rolling something.

 

Good luck, good luck, good luck. I will keep you in prayer.

[Mom0012]

Is it possible your daughter really does have ADD? I don't know if you are aware of this, but one part of ADD is being able to hyperfocus on activities of interest. My niece has ADD and can sit for hours coloring and drawing but can't seem to get through 10 minutes of homework with my sister. What we all thought was a disobedience issue with her was truly an inability to focus. She's been this way since she was 2 years old but we never really thought she had ADD, because when she had something she was really interested in, she could focus with no problem.

 

If she does have ADD, then there are options available to you. You can try dietary treatments like the Feingold diet or medication. My niece is now on ritalin and doing so well. I share this because if there is any chance this is the case with your daughter, she simply may not be able to do what you are asking.

 

Lisa

[Susan in TX]

I would just stop and not do school for a few weeks. Take the time to get your house in order, do all those projects and fun things with the kids and just enjoy life!

 

I think you should also seriously consider HOW you are homeschooling and that it doesn't seem to be a good fit for your daughter. Some kids thrive on structured school with lots of academics...some kids just don't. I have found that it works best to tailor the curriculum and the teaching style to the child. Your daughter sounds like a creative child who would benefit from a relaxed homeschooling approach.

 

Susan in TX

[Karen sn]

I only skimmed a few of the replies. Good advice - good resources recomended to you.

My 2 cents - I can only tell you about my own dd. 10yo and we're in 4th grade. I don't stress it at all. It took FOREVER to get where we are - just now getting to a confident place in reading. She is no longer mixing up her b's and d's. And she has the most deliberate, perfect penmanship I have ever seen. And when we discuss parts of language - I don't need to repeat it 500 times - she's ready for it, it sticks.

 

I see all the kids I'm suposed to compare her to - sure they can pass a standardized test, but they have absolutely no common sense and they can't think for themselves. Not to mention - they don't really "get it" and so can't process the knowlege on a level of deep understanding.....which if they could, would allow that knowledge to be processed deep in their brains for use later.

 

I'd rather dd "get it" late and have it forever.

 

They all progress at different rates, different specialties, but they all do get there. She will know how to spell her name when she is 20. That's how I looked at it - in the end it my kid will not write every letter backward. She finally got it!

 

Sometimes it's easier for all involved if we slow down and teach it when it's easier to grasp.

 

Not everyone can spell their name at 8 yo. My dd has a difficult middle name and I know adults who can't spell it.

[Liz CA]

I don't even know how to begin. I'm just so discouraged right now. I don't know if it's the new baby, or early puberty, or just fallen human nature, but my Goose is driving me nuts.

 

 

She can take great pains to make a craft "just so," but she can't remember that her middle name ends in "-ara," not "-era." A couple of weeks ago she misspelled BOTH her first name and her middle name. Please, just shoot me now. Why am I homeschooling?!

 

 

My dd doesn't realize it, but she's holding all of us hostage. I've tried keeping the neighbor kids away until she's done, but that just punishes my littles (ds6 and dd4) because she'll take the whole afternoon to finish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want so badly to do right by my girl. She is so bright, but she is also my most challenging child to parent. I've tried really hard this year to be more encouraging and less critical, to say "OK" more often, instead of reflexively blurting out "No" at every opportunity. More often than not I've failed miserably.

 

So please, if you've BTDT, or if you have practical tips on how to manage all this, send them my way.

 

...it's time in 4th grade to assume some responsibility for your own work. This is how it worked for ds:

You get your work done in plenty of allotted time, you get to play with neighbor kids/friends/do what you like, i.e crafts, etc.

If your work is not done, you stay back and finish it while brothers and sisters who have their work done, play with friends.

 

I definitely would not let her siblings suffer the consequences for her behavior. She may need to see what fun can be had if she gets things done within a reasonable time frame. This may take a little time but it's well worth the effort. Perhaps sitting down with her and making a specific plan (this can/should be finished in 10 / 20 minutes, etc) and explaining the ramifications if she dawdles would help her as well. It did for ds.

[FlockOfSillies]

We promised her a solo trip to Disneyland with Dad if she could finish a short list of tasks in the morning by 8:00 a.m. Every day she was done by 8:00 got her a day's credit. By 7:30, a day and a half worth of credit, by 8:30, only half a day of credit. 30 credits in a row, with no missed days, would earn her the trip. This was wildly successful, until she went on her trip, and the baby came, and we fell out of our routine. One of our plans is to revive this system, but with more tasks required to earn the day's credit.

 

I used to be repulsed by anything smacking of a reward system, out of concerns it would lead to bribery for simple obedience. But my dh pointed out that we, as adults, reward ourselves all the time for meeting goals; it's silly to expect anything more "mature" than that from kids.

[FlockOfSillies]

The reason I ask if you're doing "school at home" is that it sounds like your curriculum or ideals are driving you. Your dd is only 8, which is very young. You might be sick of reading that, but typically what we do as moms is expect much more of our firstborns than of subsequent children reaching those ages.

 

 

We haven't done "school at home," although I'm probably in the minority on these boards because I fall into the "better early than late" category. The talk of "homework" is new at our house. Like all moms, I struggle with having appropriate expectations of my oldest. Her younger brother doesn't struggle in this area -- he gets right to work and gets the job done right, fast. Watching him play all day hasn't made a dent in my dd's thinking.

 

I guess I'm just in the midst of retooling how we do things around here, as we bring the baby into our day and as the big kids get older and are able to do more.

 

Thanks for the encouraging words.

[FlockOfSillies]

but really, most of her independent work is simple enough. She just makes lots of careless errors. I know she's capable of better work -- I've seen her do better in the past.

[FlockOfSillies]

I think it will help me communicate with dh about what needs to get done. He's agreed to play "parent" when I'm in "teacher" mode, to help me hold her accountable for her work. I've always been frustrated with school planners and stuff in the past. While my daily to-do list is a helpful tool, I look at a half-finished school checklist and see all the empty spots, all the things I'm not getting done. I use Homeschool Tracker for attendance, but I haven't tried using the assignment function. Will the Charlotte Mason tool be a little more "turnkey"?

[FlockOfSillies]

dh offered you a maid - um, first things first, take him up on it. Halt all school and put that child to work.

:D

 

My dd is pretty good at mopping the floor and cleaning the bathroom sink, but things are bad enough around here to require the skills of a professional adult. The piles are my job. :eek:

[FlockOfSillies]

We've been out of our routine, and my routine isn't as solid as it should be to begin with. (Big part of the problem right there.)

 

Typically our holiday vacation lasts from Thanksgiving until New Year's. This year we had the baby a week after Thanksgiving, and right after New Year's my BIL passed away. We took off several days of school just to help my MIL with the funeral arrangements.

 

I've always struggled with hitting the right balance between structure and flexibility. We tend to start out very structured, but maintaining that structure doesn't last as long as I'd like.

[FlockOfSillies]

My ds6 is great about getting his work done, and he needs to feel the reward of a job well done. If he doesn't get rewarded for doing his job, he'll stop doing his job. One lazy kid is bad enough.

[Carol in Cal.]

That was when the ticket system really helped me.

 

I can't say that I sat with DD every minute, although I certainly could have done so. But I did work on housework very intermittantly so that I was going in and out of the room all the time. I would 'casually' glance at the problems she had done since I was last there, and correct her as she went along. She was a bit incented to keep working, knowing that I could be there any moment, and that it would behoove her to show some progress.

 

I also figured out what time of the day was her best learning time. For my DD, this was absolutely critical--for others, it's not so important. Then I incorporated incentives into our ticket system for her to get her core skills classes done early in the day, during her efficient learning time. This really, really helped.

 

I would have her run laps around the house (outside) in between her skills classes, to refresh her and hook up her brain to her body.

 

Also, and this is sort of hard to express, but I had to accept that, as similar as DD and I are in many ways, she is not the exact same kind of learner as I am. She would not have started school a year early and still gotten all A's as I did. She was not frantic to learn to read like I was, although she loved books and stories as much or more than I did. She is able to remember what she hears and recognize patterns better than I could, but she is far less driven. She would not learn on her own just to do it. She would not bring home her school books at the beginning of the year and read them during the first 2 weeks as I did. Unschooling or constructivist education would have worked great for me. For her, it would have been disasterous. I had to give her the right kind of push and encouragement FOR HER. I needed to put aside the theories and teach MY ACTUAL CHILD. You're probably doing this already, and I just want to encourage you in that regard.

 

((Best to you))

[Unicorn.]

I could have written this post today, and many other days too. Even your comments about your dh being "the parent while you are in teacher mode". The only difference between your post and what I would have written, are the ages of my dc. Mine are 11, 9, and 9. Actually 2 differences, my cut and paste, making crafts constantly 9 yo dd is the only one who will get her schoolwork done. Unfortunately for her, she is also the one who needs more one on one instruction to understand things, to really grasp concepts.

 

The other 2 are exactly like your 8yo. They are dawdlers galore, and are both extremely intelligent. It is so frustrating to have to "hold their hands" for them to get any work done, especially since I feel like I'm letting their sister down by not working more one on one w/her. UGGGHHH!

 

Unfortunately I don't really have an answer for you, just empathy, lots of it though. I have read the replies to you today and it is helping. Even though I feel we are not back on track after X-mas break, we are taking this week and next off. We are going to get the house in order, work on some "life training" as my ds put it, and set a system in place that will put some order back into our classroom and home. (at least that's the plan!)

 

I hope things will get better for you soon. I know it is hard- hang in there!

((((Brenda))))

[Sasharowan]

Myalmost 12yo ds was like that when he was 8 and 9. I finally told him that he was not the only one in the house and I had his siblings to teach also and couldn't sit by him all day. I also made the rule of no tv before 3pm and Mom is only on hand for help until 3pm. After 3pm it becomes homework and the child's responsibility. 2-3 days of younger sibs watching tv while he sat at the table helped kick him into gear, but mostly just getting older did it. He can now look at his week and say "I want free time here, I must get this done today and not wait until tomorrow when it is scheduled" That works for any of his independent work. We do still do read alouds as a group and he has to wait on those (until he starts reading ahead). My dd is showing some dawdly tendencies at 8, but it is only noticable if you know her. At 7 she would get up and have all independent work done before breakfast, now she plays through breakfast and works when her brothers do.