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Death and young adults....


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I have a really (REALLY) big extended family. And since I've been an adult, we haven't had any young adults die. Actually, I don't really know anyone, since being an adult, that was roughly my age to die.


My cousin, 31, was in an accident last Thursday. He died last night. He had a really big personality so it feels like a terribly bad joke on his part. Not real at all....


My poor aunt and uncle.



It occurs to me our families have experienced so many joys of being big families but were coming up on a day and age where we are also going to have to experience far more loss than an average family.


I wonder when it will feel real. My mom and dad are pretty close to his parents, our families vacationed together when we were little. I was much closer to his sister than him, he's younger. Still, the urge to poke him is going to be overwhelming. I know that seems so horrid and rude to say but frankly I an having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that it's NOT a bad joke and that it's real.


Thus is such a strange feeling, to know something is real and to.... Suspend belief?


Is that very abnormal over a young person?

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It is always so hard when a young person dies, we have lost one or 2 in my dh's family that we haven't been close to due to distance, but a friend of mine lost her son who had not graduated high school yet.  I think what you are going through is related to shock, there are lots of different stages of grief, so don't be surprised when your feelings change.  


I am sorry for your families loss.   :grouphug:

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It can be very hard to accept that someone young and close has died.  :grouphug:  I'm so sorry.


Not quite so young, nor so close, but my closest friend died suddenly in her early 30s.  I got the call in the middle of the night; I guess her husband wanted me to know right away.  By morning I wasn't sure anymore that it was real.  I didn't know what to do, who to call to confirm it.  Later that day a family member called to give me the information to attend the funeral (we lived several states apart). 


It was really hard to accept it.  It was one of those things you hear about - we'd talked a few days before, making plans for me to fly out soon to visit.  Well, I flew out the next day.

Edited by marbel
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I started to write out my story. But it doesn't help. It's all just too sad! The waves come and go but life will never be the same. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I'm good with you sharing it. (Hugs) Thank you all. I had a very quiet day today while just DS and I are up here doing some cognitive testing and it's sit and wait..... Just so odd. I'm not looking forward to seeing his parents, especially his dad, my mom's brother. He's such a happy, easy going, wonderful man that I think it if going to especially be hard to see him broken. :(

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I'm so sorry. I think "we" (general first-world public) take it for granted that "everybody" dies when they are in their 80s or 90s, KWIM?


My sister died at 42. In some ways that still does not seem real and it has been 8 years. She often traveled and it still feels as though she is traveling and that's why I haven't seen her.



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I am so sorry.


My 29 year old cousin died over 10 years ago now (car accident).  She left behind young children.  It is really hard to watch them grow up without their mama.  


Praying for your family.



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