If someone suggests a baby gift for their baby....(related to that mission trip)

[Janeway]

This is so awkward! Someone I know is getting a new grand baby. I gave them some of my baby things, but heard from one of the siblings that they don't really care about the stuff. The mom is a new mom and wants to buy everything new. Fine. I had been told by the mom-2-b that she planned to invite me to the shower. I do not know the mom-2-b, I know the grandma-2-b. The mom-2-b is on my FB. I met them through home school events and their younger children are quite nice. The mom-2-b I do not really know, but she is on my FB.

 

Yesterday, she sent me a hello. I sent back a hello. I was chatty and asked how she was doing. There is nothing where I am avoiding her. I need to back up. The shower was a few weeks ago and I was never invited. I was told it was a small shower. Ok, whatever. So, back to FB, the mom2b told me she was having Braxton Hicks and hoped the baby was born soon, and so on. So I sent back a "are you all ready for the baby? do you have everything you need?" and she came back with "I need diapers and a high chair. I use Honest Brand diapers and you can buy them at Whole Foods." 

 

Ummm, I was not planning to purchase her anything. I was not even invited to the shower. I actually did have a gift for her, but I obtained it when I thought I was invited to the shower. I probably would have added a pack of diapers to it. But I was not invited. And I do not want to purchase any further anything. 

 

Now I feel dumb even dropping off what I did buy. But I also sort of suddenly feel obligated to purchase diapers? 

 

What would you do? I thought of just ignoring it. This is from the same family where the other girl wanted money for her mission trip.

[Anne]

Pretty brazen, imnho - I would probably ignore it.  *If* you want to do something, I would give her the original thing you got for her.  I would *not* add diapers to it b/c really, she was totally rude.

 

Anne

[Ali in OR]

I would wait until the baby is born and drop the gift by. Possibly with a meal if I was so inclined (I have a lot more time to do that kind of thing over summer than during the school year). I don't think I would be getting diapers.

[zoobie]

Ignore. How very weird. And return the gift you bought.

Edited July 6, 2016 by zoobie

[almondbutterandjelly]

Ignore it.  Give her nothing.  Return the gift you had bought for the shower you weren't invited to.

[Ravin]

Honestly, the woman sounds like a complete twit and a snob. I wouldn't get her anything.

 

[Guest]

Wow! My babies just pooped in generics. #MomFail

[Janeway]

Honestly, the woman sounds like a complete twit and a snob. I wouldn't get her anything.

I am beginning to think this family thinks I am rolling in money and they can send their kids to ask me for money or something. I don't know. 

[alisoncooks]

How rude. I'd return the gift I'd previously bought, and give her nothing.

[SamanthaCarter]

Yeah, hard to read from a FB convo, but I think when asked the same question I might have said, "I think I'm pretty much ready... I still need to get more of those diapers I like and at some point I'll need to get a highchair - so yes!" I would not have interpreted your comment as an offer to buy me things, just friendly conversation. 

 

Babies don't need much, you don't need to get a gift. Make a meal if you want to help. 

 

 

[BrittanyM]

I would return what you already bought or save it for a more worthy future baby and don't give anything. She sounds crazy stuck up.

 

ETA: You can buy those diapers a lot of places (Target carries them in my area) so I think the "you can buy them at Whole Foods" was way uncalled for. If she had just said I still need diapers and a high chair that would be a whole other ball game.

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited July 6, 2016 by BrittanyM

[Alice]

I would ignore it and likely not give the other present. 

[marbel]

While I think it's obvious to everyone that you were just asking "do you have everything?" to be conversational........

 

 

You did ask.

 

Because of that, I am not going to automatically jump to "how rude!" (cue Michelle Tanner)

 

I mean, yes, the whole 'I use X brand and you can get them here!' thing is rude, don't get me wrong.  But, I also think...giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, that it's totally possible she took "do you have everything?" as "do you want me to buy you anything?"

 

 

I think that if you buy a pack of dipes and drop off those with what you have, that would be fine.

 

Or if you ignore it...that would be fine too.

 

I also think it's plausible that she interpreted "do you have everything you need?" as an invitation to list some things she needs.  The "you can get them at..." was out of line, though.

 

But based on your history with this person, maybe not.  

 

Do what your gut tells you to do.  You know these people and the relationship you have with them. 

 

[Heatherwith4]

I think it's very possible she just thought you were asking for gift ideas. Given the history, it's possible she's being a snot. It's really sort of impossible to know.

[Miss Tick]

"Wow! You are really prepared if you have already scoped out places to buy diapers! Best of luck!"

[Xahm]

If a person of my parent's generation asked me that, I would assume you wanted to give me something. Since I don't like getting gifts from strangers, I would have deflected to avoid a present. I can see where she's coming from if 1. She is really, really short on both cash and diapers. Or 2. She thinks you will get her something no matter what and she's already been given a lifetime supply of most things and doesn't have room for anything she doesn't really need.

[catz]

I would totally ignore that.  Whole Foods diapers - ROFLMBO.  :lol:  She contacted you.  Had you contacted her and said "What do you need for baby?" that would be one thing.  In the context in the OP, I would assume you were just being conversational.  Nutty.

Edited July 6, 2016 by WoolySocks

[bettyandbob]

My goodness. Who taught this woman it was OK to ask a friend of her mother for presents--a person she's never met. Does she feel entitled to stuff because she's giving birth

 

If someone expressed a desire to give a present, I think it's rude to respond with something pricey unless it's clear between the parties involved that the giver wants to spend a lot. 

 

I wonder how long that baby stays in organic whole foods diapers. 

 

Yeah, don't respond. If the young woman or her mother. 

[snickerplum]

I may be the only one who read it this way, but I read it like "people" can buy them at Whole Foods, not you personally. Maybe she's only noticed them there, so that part was info and not a gift request. I could be wrong. I don't know her. She might just want diapers.