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Just realized I know someone on the forum IRL....


MercyA
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Today I suddenly recognized someone I know in IRL here on the forum. Talk about freaky! It's like when you're vacationing out of state and you see someone from your small town. Her signature and location gave it away. We've not spoken much, but we've attended some of the same groups and events. 

 

I would say hi, but I'm afraid my views (ardent peacenik, pro-animal rights, old earth Creationist) might put me a little bit on the outs in my homeschool community.  :blushing: I'm not worried the least bit about what adults might think of me. I love to discuss important issues and don't mind being in the minority. I just wouldn't want my child to be affected.

 

Has anyone else suddenly realized you know someone here? Did you PM them?

Edited by MercyA
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This happened to me once--all of the sudden I realized that someone might be talking about actual places and people I knew, though we had never met.  I let her know right away that I thought this was the case, and we met up, and now we are friends.  I didn't think it was right to be pretty sure about this and not let her in on it.  Otherwise she might have said something to me that she would be concerned about me repeating.

Edited by Carol in Cal.
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Has anyone else suddenly realized you know someone here? Did you PM them?

 

 

I didn't realize until the person pm'd me. There was a thread several years ago about how many of us knew any hive members IRL. I said I didn't know anyone. She pm'd and told me who she is. She doesn't live in my area anymore but when she did we were in a book club together, and she has been to my house for at least one book club meeting. We were in the same hs group.

 

I didn't/don't find it awkward. We each had a general idea of the other's views anyway, and we belonged to an inclusive hs group.

Edited by Lady Florida.
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There used to be two people here that I knew IRL, but I am not sure if they knew who I was or not. They used their real first name or picture, and I recognized ages/ programs they were using.   I didn't let them know, because I didn't want to out myself, in case they hadn't identified me. I would prefer to stay a bit anonymous if possible.

 

I did have IRL friends who knew I was on the board, but I don't think they knew who I was....but it is possible.

 

I am pretty open about who I am and where I live, but since I don't hang out with home schoolers any more, it would be hard for people who used to know me from my past home school days, to recognize me now. 

 

I am quite certain that I know people on the board now, but can't say 100% positive, because they haven't been as open with details as the two I mentioned above. 

Edited by Tap
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I know a few forum people in real life, but I don't think they post much. I've met a couple of others, but we just have friends inommin and don't really know each other. While I'm not open with my real name here, I'm very honest about my thoughts and beliefs in real life, so I'm fine knowing people here.

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I was introduced to this forum by someone IRL, but I don't think I've seen her actually posting here. It would be quite interesting if someone IRL recognized me here. My opinions, which I do not often express IRL, are very often quite different from the people in my church & homeschool group. It could lead to some interesting discussions.... and possibly some problems, given that many people do not exactly seem open to other schools of thought.

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I messaged someone once and asked "Just out of curiosity, was that you and your kids I met a month ago at _____ ?" I was right, too! But I didn't realize in time to say something.

 

Her kids were awesome though, I gotta say, that's why I remembered when I saw her sig line :D

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Ive met a lot of boardies IRL over the years and it's been GREAT. But I don't think I've ever identified someone by putting clues together.

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I got a PM from someone years ago who realized we had a common friend after I mentioned one of my kids being in a local event. It wasn't awkward and this person has since moved. There are so many homeschoolers in Alaska there are probably others on here that I have met and just don't know it.

 

Small World Story - DH and I were on vacation in Colorado and stopped at a gas station near the airport. The guy ahead of us in line at the pump was someone DH worked with back in Alaska.

 

Very Small World. We promised we weren't stalking him.......

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It didn't happen here, but I had someone "fangirl" me once at a local homeschool event because she recognized me from my website. I felt like a rockstar, especially after she told me how inspirational she found me! :)

 

What amuses me is when I recognize someone from another forum I'm on (or have been on) here. It makes the world seem a little smaller!

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A mutual friend suggested I talk to another mom here way back when we were both starting home ed about another interest we had in common. Ironically we ended up talking home ed and Story of the World but I don't think either of us were here yet. I spotted her pretty quickly when I started using the board because she uses her first name. I think she knows who I am but have never really acknowledged each other.

 

I also have some real life good friends thanks to this board.

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There are people I know on here but they use their own names and pictures so I don't feel the need to inform them because they are not trying to be anonymous.

 

I don't use my name and would prefer to be anonymous but over a decade here I have shared enough that anyone can figure it out if they know me. My kids ages, sports, where they are going to college, etc would totally expose me. So I have started sharing less that I wouldn't want people to know irl.

Edited by teachermom2834
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This happened to me. And now, when I read her threads, I can recognize her even when I'm not noticing her user name. I think, "That sounds like something S would say..." And I look at the name, and it's S!

 

I prefer to be completely anonymous. It's ok that S and I know each other, but I don't want any of my other homeschool friends to know who I am on here. I don't think any of them are on here, so I'm safe for now.

 

 

ETA: A bunch of us WTMers get together about twice a year now and I don't mind that I know them IRL. But I think that's because we only know each other from WTM and we don't meet in any other circles.

Edited by Garga
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I have never posted online with the expectation of anonymity.  On this site that decision was taken away from me right away by a friend who introduced me by my username to lots of people.  But that's ok.  Who I am online is who I am in person.  I haven't sat down to count exactly how many people I've met in person from this site but it is over 20..  And if you add people I've talked to on the phone or by text, but haven't actually met face to face, the number goes higher. 

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This happened to me. And now, when I read her threads, I can recognize her even when I'm not noticing her user name. I think, "That sounds like something S would say..." And I look at the name, and it's S!

 

I prefer to be completely anonymous. It's ok that S and I know each other, but I don't want any of my other homeschool friends to know who I am on here. I don't think any of them are on here, so I'm safe for now.

 

 

ETA: A bunch of us WTMers get together about twice a year now and I don't mind that I know them IRL. But I think that's because we only know each other from WTM and we don't meet in any other circles.

That's because you told me about this forum!  LOL!  

 

(I totally recognize Garga's "voice" from her posts even when I don't notice her username as well.  I also once recognized an internet friend from one board on another board, even though neither of us knew the other posted there -- that's how strong her voice was.)

 

I've got another good IRL friend, in addition to Garga, who posts here, and that doesn't bother me at all.  But I am with Garga in that I appreciate the anonymity of the board, for the most part.

 

I occasionally recognize mamas here that I know from another parenting board (which is how I know my other IRL friend who posts here too), but I think that's understandable, because they're similar "realms."  It's not like one is a homeschooling board and the other is a computer geek forum -- I only ever post to a computer forum when I need computer help, and I post under DH's user account, since he first posted there, and it would be really freaky to recognize someone from here.

 

Now, I once googled a question about something, unrelated to homeschooling, and one of the answers that came up looked like it was written by my DH, and sure enough, it was his username on a forum he frequents.  His internet voice stands out very strongly to me.  (I shouldn't have been surprised that it was his answer, because it was something he would know and something that interests him, but it was funny that I recognized him before I realized who it was.)

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I've met at least a dozen IRL, and many more in other forums online. DD's interests are distinctive enough that if either she or I talk about them, well, it's super-easy to connect the dots, and almost invariably, it's the other person who points out that they know me from the board. The same happens on herpetology forums.

 

I just plain don't expect confidentiality online, and never have.

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Well, if this person is a good one, she or he would not care about your beliefs and would accept you for your wonderful self. One of my IRL friends is very evangelical Christian (I am a religious mutt who would be happy in any place of G_d); we are very different in our belief systems and lifestyles but accept and respect each other.

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One time, in a thread about cool old houses, someone posted her house listing, and I recognized the house! I did send her a pm. She didn't live in my town, but in a town I drive through on a regular basis. Her house isn't for sale anymore and sometimes I wonder if she sold it or if they gave up.

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When I joined, I thought it was only polite to PM someone I recognized from another forum but hadn't spoken to in many years, like before she started homeschooling and when she was kind of rolling her eyes at me for being so ra ra about homeschooling my own kids and so "out" about being a single SAHM and doing stuff like riding my bicycle to the store to buy wheat to grind to make bread instead of trying to get my kids into low cost day care so I could get a minimum wage job and buy a beater to drive to the food bank to pick up day old wonder bread instead.

 

I expected to have to eat a lot of crow about having another baby instead of finding a great husband, going back to school, and having my older kids grown up to be Grant Colfax.

 

She pretty much didn't remember me. She's polite and she still posts interesting stuff that still has very little to do with my own circumstances. I'm glad I sent her the PM so that neither of us were embarassed.

Edited by Guest
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Anyone who knows me IRL would know who I am on here pretty easily considering I link to my blog and my kids pictures are on there.  My son in particular tends to stand out in people's minds. 

 

I am aware of one person I know IRL on here but we don't really run in the same circles.  I only recognized her because of a very specific topic she posted about.  If there are others, I'm not aware of it.  We aren't very active in wider homeschool circles. 

 

We have a group of maybe 5 or 6 families that we see at park days or 4-H, but I don't think any of them have ever talked about being on here.  If they used real names I would recognize them, but if they used nicknames, I'd probably be oblivious.

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I guess my role in the ps where I work has had me give up the idea of being anonymous anywhere.  I don't expect it here.  I enjoy meeting Boardies IRL.  I enjoy personal conversations with those I don't get to meet.  If anyone knew me locally, it would be fun to know them too rather than have them stay anonymous.

 

Short of someone who is racist or overly judgmental in general, I can't fathom not getting along with someone personally even if our views differ wildly.  I can't guarantee we could work well together because that would depend upon a power structure (I'm very independent and like it that way), but I've never had difficulty with being friends.

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I know several here IRL. A few are close enough that we do bday parties together, and our kids are friends. :) A few that have stopped by while driving through our area, for dinners, etc, or meeting up for sightseeing together when in town. It's always fun to get to know people IRL.

 

We don't all agree on everything - those big issues that you mentioned, OP - but we're kindred spirits anyway. I love getting to know people.

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I have become a Golden Rulebreaker on this one.

 

In the past, I thought, "Well, I would want to know," so I'd tell the person. (I think that happened twice.)

 

But then somebody was trying to find out if I was me, so I admitted that I was, which began a nightmare of stalking and IRL trouble. I got out of it, but not gracefully. There was quite a bit of collateral damage, honestly.

 

So now I'm not confessing anything, or sharing anything, or identifying anyone, that I come across online -- UNLESS my IRL encounters with them make me very confident they're not a nut. Seriously. Some people are not right in the head.

 

*Obviously, this does not apply to the 60-70 WTM'ers who are my FB friends. Y'all got in under the wire before I made this policy, and 100% of you are normal enough to keep, so there's that.

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I'm not a homeschooler, but I know a number of homeschoolers IRL.  I would not be surprised if some of them are on here and recognize me without me knowing it.  Although I would rather be anonymous, there are things about my family that are just too obvious.

 

Once I got a PM from a person who wanted to offer moral support concerning a contentious WTM discussion.  I thought she might be someone I knew.  I PMd her back and asked, and yep, she is.  That person is a very infrequent poster though.  She doesn't live nearby so we haven't met IRL in years.  But we are fb friends.  :)  She and I don't agree on everything, but that isn't important as long as there is mutual respect.

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I have recognized people who I know irl, and many who I "know" from other forums. Some people have such distinctive posting styles (or overly specific signatures :huh: ) that it's easy to find them all over the web. Once in a while I'm surprised when I see someone from one of my "main" forums at one of my "secondary" forums--I've recognized people from parenting or hsing forums at a low carb forum, a dollhouse miniatures forum, and an Appalachian dulcimer forum! 

Edited by mellifera33
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I don't know anyone IRL and probably wouldn't figure it out if I did.  I wouldn't care if anyone knew me and figured it out I try not to post anything I wouldn't say IRL.  Your issues-beliefs wouldn't set you apart much around here 1 of my best friends could be described that way.

Edited by rebcoola
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I'm very honest about my thoughts and beliefs in real life, so I'm fine knowing people here.

 

I try to be, too, if someone asks, but some things may not be prudent to volunteer.  

 

My opinions, which I do not often express IRL, are very often quite different from the people in my church & homeschool group. It could lead to some interesting discussions.... and possibly some problems, given that many people do not exactly seem open to other schools of thought.

 

I know, right? I really don't understand it. If you're not solid enough in your beliefs that you can stand having them questioned or discussed, maybe you need to think about those beliefs a little more.  :001_smile:

 

Well, if this person is a good one, she or he would not care about your beliefs and would accept you for your wonderful self. One of my IRL friends is very evangelical Christian (I am a religious mutt who would be happy in any place of G_d); we are very different in our belief systems and lifestyles but accept and respect each other.

 

That's very sweet, trulycrabby. Thank you. I don't know this person well enough to know how open-minded she is or even for sure what her own beliefs are. 

 

Short of someone who is racist or overly judgmental in general, I can't fathom not getting along with someone personally even if our views differ wildly. 

 

I agree, and I wish the world worked like that! Some of my favorite people here on the forum are people with whom I sometimes disagree, sometimes on very major issues. It's doesn't mean I don't respect them or enjoy hearing their thoughts.

 

But then somebody was trying to find out if I was me, so I admitted that I was, which began a nightmare of stalking and IRL trouble. I got out of it, but not gracefully. There was quite a bit of collateral damage, honestly.

 

So now I'm not confessing anything, or sharing anything, or identifying anyone, that I come across online -- UNLESS my IRL encounters with them make me very confident they're not a nut. Seriously. Some people are not right in the head.

 

:ohmy: That's horrible, Tibbie. I'm so sorry. That's not something I would ever expect.

 

I don't know anyone IRL and probably wouldn't figure it out if I did.  I wouldn't care if anyone knew me and figured it out I try not to post anything I wouldn't say IRL.  Your issues don't beliefs wouldn't set you apart much around here 1 of my best friends could be described that way.

 

Always a good policy!

 

Thinking through just the three issues I mentioned: most of my friends' husbands are hunters, so my view of animals and their rights would probably get an eye roll at the least.

 

As far as politics go, it seems to be just assumed that everyone is a political conservative. (I am on some issues, but definitely not on others.) I do wonder if some people would distance themselves from me if they knew my views. Again, I could handle that, but I wouldn't want it to affect my daughter.

 

The old earth creationism is probably the biggest one. In order to be an officer in one of my groups, one must believe the world was created in six literal 24-hour days. (Could God have created the world that way? Absolutely. Do I think He probably did? No, I don't think so.) 

 

Maybe I'm not giving my friends enough credit, though. Homeschooling is counter-culture enough that a lot of us are probably more open-minded than most.

Edited by MercyA
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Today I suddenly recognized someone I know in IRL here on the forum. Talk about freaky! It's like when you're vacationing out of state and you see someone from your small town. Her signature and location gave it away. We've not spoken much, but we've attended some of the same groups and events.

 

I would say hi, but I'm afraid my views (ardent peacenik, pro-animal rights, old earth Creationist) might put me a little bit on the outs in my homeschool community. How sad is that? :blushing: I'm not worried the least bit about what adults might think of me. I love to discuss important issues and don't mind being in the minority. I just wouldn't want my child to be affected.

 

Has anyone else suddenly realized you know someone here? Did you PM them?

Well, there have been ocassions where I mentioned TWTM forums and had someone IRL say, "Oh, I go there, too," but they didn't reveal their on-line identity. I'm left saying, "Oh man, I probably offended them by speaking out about XYZ!"

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But then somebody was trying to find out if I was me, so I admitted that I was, which began a nightmare of stalking and IRL trouble. I got out of it, but not gracefully. There was quite a bit of collateral damage, honestly.

 

:svengo: That is really weird.  Sorry you had to go through it.  I'm not quite sure how I would handle it if there were a stalker, etc, but I suspect it would bring out my fightin' gene that I try to keep suppressed.

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I don't tell others my on-line identity. I don't know if anyone IRL is here and has figured me out, if they have they haven't told me. I don't tell people I recognize them as I don't want to open the conversation to revealing who I am.

 

 I'm a very honest person but I've learned not to volunteer my views on controversial issues, although if asked I'll do my best to answer and *try* to be diplomatic. I'm too liberal or too conservative. I don't have to guess the opinion some would have of my views when I see their FB memes mocking my beliefs(generally full of inaccuracies).

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I was introduced to this forum by someone IRL, but I don't think I've seen her actually posting here. It would be quite interesting if someone IRL recognized me here. My opinions, which I do not often express IRL, are very often quite different from the people in my church & homeschool group. It could lead to some interesting discussions.... and possibly some problems, given that many people do not exactly seem open to other schools of thought.

Liking this isn't enough. This is how I feel.

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I know a couple of people here from other online communities, but there's only been one person I've come across on these board with whom I am acquainted IRL. I've met her a couple of times at park days for a local homeschool group, but I'm no longer very active in that group, so I don't know her well at all. 

However, there is a very large and active homeschooling community in my area, so I'm sure that there are other local homeschoolers who post here and I'm just not aware of them. If so, it's possible that they know who I am based off of my signature. 

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There's another WTMer who doesn't frequent here much anymore who I know IRL. We both knew each other. I think she was here first, but I don't remember for sure. She mostly hangs out on a WTM FB feed, I think. I don't do FB, so we don't "see" each other in cyberspace much anymore. Most IRL homeschoolers in my area would consider this board too intense for the type of homeschooling they do.  :001_cool:

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I was very surprised to find my cousin on this board, Renee in Fl (now in NC).  It took me months. And then I was like  :huh:  :thumbup1: I think we win the prize for being the furthest from each other geographically!

 

Ruth in New Zealand

Edited by lewelma
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Yes.  I know a couple of people locally, although I don't know if they are on the boards anymore.

 

Another couple of people I have met.  Keri, Itsheresomewhere, Jean, and Lynne (not sure if Lynne is still here or not).  3 of them I met at Disney!  

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