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Miss Peregrine

Two of our children dropped bombshells on us this last week.

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So sorry :grouphug: whatever it is you can get through. Maybe not prettily but through is through. I agree, share with someone you trust.

 

One of the best phrases ever is, "When you're going through hell, KEEP GOING!"  

 

One step at a time is all it takes.  

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When things get bad, I always tell myself, "Things are going to be so much better six months from now," and it almost always brings hope and perspective to the situation. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it can make things seem more manageable.

 

:grouphug:

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I've been the parent receiving the bombshell, and I've also been the (adult) child dropping the bomb.

 

In both cases, time really does help. People's emotions get less raw, you face the embarrassment of spreading the news, and you figure out how to live in the new normal. It will not always feel as awful as it does right now.

 

In the meantime, hugs.

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Bombs have been falling in our household as well this past year. Don't these kids who think they are adults know they are still supposed to do everything we say in order to avoid making the biggest mistake of their lives! And yes, Miss Peregrine, I did scream and rant and raved and stomped around a lot and I am emberrased to say it wasn't always pretty. In hind sight I wish I would have sat back and tried to listen more but I was so hurt and frustrated it was tough to be silent. It is hard to watch your babies grow up and spread there wings. You always want to hold them close to keep them safe because you love them so darn much and have poured your whole heart and soul into them.  :grouphug: 

 

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Big hugs!  Whether we mean to or not, we raise our kids with certain expectations.  It's hard when they come to us and share a different version of how they want to live (or the consequences that have already happened).

 

I've shared a lot on this board.  It has been a life saver to be able to talk with people who share their wisdom when I'm having a meltdown and am incapable of being open minded.

 

I would never choose to go through these things, but they have opened my heart to be more accepting.   My kids have changed me for the better.

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I appreciate everyone's comments. Sometimes I start hyperventilating. Sometimes I just want to scream.

 

I"m so sorry! Keep breathing...hopefully you will find something to focus on to keep you sane. I played a game on my phone incessantly once...for longer than I wanted.  :grouphug:

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I appreciate everyone's comments. Sometimes I start hyperventilating. Sometimes I just want to scream.

 

Allowing yourself time to adjust is necessary - and normal.  Scream, cry, run, "whatever," for a time, just if you want to kick the dog, get a stuffed dog.  (This is only partially a joke, some folks really do like having something to pound into.)  Your body/brain needs it.  Then start picking up the pieces and moving on one step at a time.  If anything can be fixed, start making changes to fix it.  If not, then start mapping out where life goes from here.  You'll still need times to feel down, so don't think you're 100% over that part, but life will move on toward a new normal mentally.

 

And again, if there's anyone you can confide in - esp if they've BTDT (or similar) - it's really, really worth it.

 

:grouphug:

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I'm sorry. 

 

I have grandkids coming along now and when my kids are getting concerned about labor and delivery, I have to bite my tongue.  I want to say, "Oh honey, labor and delivery is the easiest part."  Parenting is hard, hard, hard.  Hugs to you.  

Edited by mom@shiloh
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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  Parenting older kids is HARD. Sorry that you had to be hit with 2 bombshells in a week. I hope it gets easier for you with each passing day as you adjust to the news you received.

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I appreciate everyone's comments. Sometimes I start hyperventilating. Sometimes I just want to scream.

This is me sometimes.

 

If I do get to the point of screaming I end up in pain and hate how I feel. I try hard to remember the technique of "breathe/5 things you can see/breathe/4 touch/b/3 hear/b/2 smell/b/1 taste or 1 grateful for/b

 

It might be called grounding, not sure though.

 

(hugs)

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I appreciate everyone's comments. Sometimes I start hyperventilating. Sometimes I just want to scream.

 

Yeah.

 

BTDT.  I hate anything like that that makes it hard to breathe.

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I'm so sorry. Sending hugs. Parenting is hard.  :grouphug:

 

Also, screaming is okay. Sometimes, it just has to come out.

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