angelica Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) Since becoming a mom life has been crazy but these last couple months have been the worst! I started seeing a therapist because my son revealed that step grandpa touched his penis years ago. Having him talk to the doctor and then a psychiatrist made my heart break but he was so brave. After a couple sessions he was released but I continued going and had my last appointment yesterday. I should continue going but it's $$ and making me increasingly unhappy. In talking I've come to feel totally hopeless and confused about life. I did not plan on getting married and having a child so young (22). We got tons of pressure to marry but we didn't feel that was necessary. A decade later we have two kids and we are still not married. He formally proposed in 2010 but we had a baby in 2011 instead. If we were married we'd be contemplating a divorce, instead we're talking about separating, because I am unhappy. We started dating at age 16 and moved away for our last 2 years of college together. Before I knew it I was walking the aisle to get my degree 6 months pregnant. After a year of working ft and sending my son to daycare, I quit and it's now been 8 years since my last paycheck. I sell on ebay sometimes but with life and kids it's been too hard. Is it okay to be unhappy? The therapist basically told me no, there's no point, just choose to be happy, and take a pill. I I should be happy that I created a family with my hs sweetie and that I have been able to be home with them. I should be happy that last night he bought a pop up trailer so we can go on a week long road trip before school starts. I should be happy that I can run for 40 minutes, then go to yoga class and be one of the few that can do a headstand. I should be happy because my 5 year old who was diagnosed with a speech delay at 2 qualified for free preschool and now talks non stop. I should be happy that I got a $500 check from school district because I chose to drive son to prek instead of sending him on the bus. I should be happy that I totaled my car last Oct by rear ending someone on the freeway exit and nobody was hurt. I should be happy that I can still drive that car, despite it now having a salvage title, because my dh was able to fix it, leaving us with a nice chunk of money to deposit in the bank. I should be happy that when school starts I will only have 1 drop off and pick up and 25 hours during the week to do what I need/want to do where nobody says mommy every other word. I should be happy that my mil now knows what her husband did to my son and that we will never have to see him again. I should be happy that my children are alive and happy when so many people struggle to have kids or have kids with many heath problems. I should be happy about so many things, but I am not. I am grateful for most, but not "happy". I need to find a way to simply be happy. I'm feeling like I'm stuck in a zone of negativity and apathy. My man is away from the home from 630-630 and when he comes home I am burned out from the boys and he's exhausted from work. Please shed some light ladise! Edited June 18, 2016 by angelica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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