How to help a discussion-based learner become more independent

[lewelma]

My younger ds is a very gregarious boy.  Just look at my siggy to see how much activity he *needs.*  He loves people and wants to do *everything* with people.  He will quite happily cook, clean, exercise, study, etc as long as he has someone by his side, enjoying the journey.  Here are a couple of examples: We have started reading Tarbuck Earth Science, and he just loves team reading it and discussing it.  He just doesn't want to read it by himself. He wants to watch the Documentaries about Rome together, and stop at interesting points to discuss.  When he is working on something independently, which is pretty rarely, he wants to run in every 10 minutes and tell me the blow by blow (which is pretty distracting when older ds and I are working together). 

 

He just LOVES learning with people.  So how do I take that enthusiasm and start to redirect it to self-learning?

 

Ruth in NZ

[Chrysalis Academy]

My younger ds is a very gregarious boy.  Just look at my siggy to see how much activity he *needs.*  He loves people and wants to do *everything* with people.  He will quite happily cook, clean, exercise, study, etc as long as he has someone by his side, enjoying the journey.  Here are a couple of examples: We have started reading Tarbuck Earth Science, and he just loves team reading it and discussing it.  He just doesn't want to read it by himself. He wants to watch the Documentaries about Rome together, and stop at interesting points to discuss.  When he is working on something independently, which is pretty rarely, he wants to run in every 10 minutes and tell me the blow by blow (which is pretty distracting when older ds and I are working together). 

 

He just LOVES learning with people.  So how do I take that enthusiasm and start to redirect it to self-learning?

 

Ruth in NZ

 

I am all ears.  my younger dd is the same. It is exhausting.  Whenever I post asking for advice about what to do with her, I get lots of suggestions for more projects, more activities, more things we would have to do together. I don't have time for more stuff like that! What I need is to figure out how to teach her to be more self-directed and self-sufficient.  So, listening in!

[madteaparty]

Lots of online classes here. Online G3 in particular is one he insists on.

And brick and mortar for high school. Will his academics take a step back, because we can't afford to move into the very best school district? Yes, but happiness otherwise is important, so we are going with "good enough" for academics.

[lewelma]

Years ago when ds was young, I made a paper chain that we hung in the Family Room.  Each link represented a subject done independently.  I wonder if I need to restart that, or something similar.  It seems pretty young for a 12-year old, but he needs the external recognition for hard work, and working independently is really the antithesis of external recognition, because you are doing it by yourself!

[lewelma]

Lots of online classes here. Online G3 in particular is one he insists on.

And brick and mortar for high school. Will his academics take a step back, because we can't afford to move into the very best school district? Yes, but happiness otherwise is important, so we are going with "good enough" for academics.

 

I'll look into G3.  We are off schedule here in the Southern Hemisphere, so that can be tricky at times, but there has to be something that would work.  As for brick and mortar, ds has just been tested as strongly 2E with an inability to *encode* so he can't physically write or type faster than 10 words a minute.  Kind of a problem for school. 

[Luckymama]

Wish I could help with new ideas. Youngest is exactly like that. She took a few AoPS classes, an online English class in 8th, and online English and Arabic in 9th. She studied Arabic at a summer immersion camp for four weeks last summer. It still wasn't enough, and she would want me <right there> to discuss everything. It got to the point I would hide in my room after dinner.

 

This year she has finally hit the right combination of with-people interaction and her very-much-needed quiet time to recharge: in-person Arabic classes 4x weekly and joining a Model UN delegation (debating, researching, discussing--with "her kind").

[quark]

I wish I could help too. I wonder if it's an age thing...where they start to discuss with others once they are older. DS was so much like that...it's a little less rapid-fire now. And like Luckymama says, a "your kind of people" thing too. I'm not exactly DS's kind of person but I care and ask questions that challenge him and I can make  a good stand in that way.

 

When he was younger, we outsourced a lot with me as discussion buddy and then moved on to in person classes on college campuses with me as sounding off buddy, some-time discussion buddy but with less pressure because he now has other potential discussion people (usually a caring prof or a friend). It still doesn't seem enough for math but I saw a shift recently towards more discussion with the graduate student instructor vs shooting me with stuff I had no idea how to answer/ expand upon.

 

It's frustrating but some things seem to really be wait and see/ wait till they grow into things a bit more?

Edited June 10, 2016 by quark

[Arcadia]

Have your son tried Dragon Dictation for typing? It was frustrating for my boys when they think/talk faster than they could write or type.

 

Some of the MOOC courses has discussion forums which your son might like. My kids had fun reading the discussions on some of the Coursera courses we did together under my account since they are underage.

[ebunny]

My younger ds is a very gregarious boy.  Just look at my siggy to see how much activity he *needs.*  He loves people and wants to do *everything* with people.  He will quite happily cook, clean, exercise, study, etc as long as he has someone by his side, enjoying the journey.  Here are a couple of examples: We have started reading Tarbuck Earth Science, and he just loves team reading it and discussing it.  He just doesn't want to read it by himself. He wants to watch the Documentaries about Rome together, and stop at interesting points to discuss.  When he is working on something independently, which is pretty rarely, he wants to run in every 10 minutes and tell me the blow by blow (which is pretty distracting when older ds and I are working together). 

 

He just LOVES learning with people.  So how do I take that enthusiasm and start to redirect it to self-learning?

 

Ruth in NZ

 

My DD is like this, and I've come to the conclusion that its her innate nature (read: unrelated to maturity). I've tried different kinds of strategies and nothing seems to stick very long. Brick and Mortar school helps release some of that 'people energy' and saves my sanity. :tongue_smilie:

She is an E.x.t.r.o.v.e.r.t in a family of introverts. You can imagine how that plays out. :D

[TerriM]

This sounds like an absolutely fantastic trait to have!!!!   In fact, one of my kids was being chastised for not participating in group discussions (like me, he is an independent introvert who does not share his thoughts easily).

 

Can you get him into discussion groups with other kids?  Homeschooling as a group with extroverted kids?  Maybe he could teach classes for younger kids :)  How about a youtube channel where he talks about all the cool stuff he learned?

[Mike in SA]

If you figure out how to develop a 12 year old boy who is self-motivated, please be sure to let us know the secret.  It seems that a boy that age is either personally driven, or very apathetic.

 

I can say that older DS was particularly apathetic at 12, though he needed a TON of challenges.  He was taking 10-12 subjects while also competing at a national level in sports and playing piano.  Two years later, he has started saying - on his own - that he needs to focus more on particular subjects.  He'll always be a polymath, but he is realizing his natural strengths and weaknesses.  It seems to be largely a maturity thing.

 

 

Edited June 15, 2016 by Mike in SA

[Dmmetler]

G3 (and Athena's Academy, although most of their classes are targeted to younger kids. They are trying to start more for older kids, mostly because there are kids, like my DD, who have been at Athena's for years and don't want to leave) would be good if the schedule works out, because they're heavy input, low output, and almost all of the output is discussion, either in the live webinars, or on the discussion boards (and you can type slowly and still participate). I don't know how the schedule would work, though. Even just being a couple of time zones away can be problematic at times. Outsourcing a heavy on discussion class or two makes a BIG difference in my ability to handle the rest with a kid who will talk to (and argue with) a brick wall.