Are you a worrier and a planner...or

[Liz CA]

don't worry and plan little or something totally opposite / different?

I do worry more than I should and while I have improved over the years I still have to be mindful of my tendency to mentally run through all kinds of scenarios. I try to plan as much as I can. I think, at times, I overdo it and really waste time because in the long run my planning was useless or I planned for the wrong thing.

I am interested if the two things pretty much go together - worrying and therefore planning more - or if there is little correlation.

Edited June 9, 2016 by Liz CA

[Arcadia]

Your poll shows up :)

 

I enjoy planning which was why I worked as a project manager before kids. I don't have a problem modifying or discarding plans though. I am a delegator kind of planner. I plan who to delegate tasks too.

 

I worry enough to have raing day funds and spare clothes a size up for my kids in case they have a growth spurt. If something makes me worried, I tend to worry for a short while then move on. My dad tends to wallow in worry and that felt depressing to me.

[MaeFlowers]

I voted that I do worry and plan whatever I can. My dh is the opposite and we drive each other nuts sometimes. He just told me today that worrying doesn't accomplish anything and he is annoyingly right. I'm working on it but it's my default.

[fraidycat]

I worry a little, but talk myself out of it ASAP by figuring out which parts of whatever I'm worrying about are actually within my control. I used to try to plan. Life taught me that was futile, so I tend to make loose, short term "plans", then go with the flow. Que sera sera.

 

Sometimes this means I'm a little too relaxed when it comes to school, supper, etc. But, the kids are progressing forward in school and we aren't starving, so it's all good. :)

 

I do plan ahead if necessary, for things like travel arrangements if flying/staying in a certain place. But, I'm the type on a road trip to just drive until we don't feel like driving anymore, then we'll see about getting a room wherever we happen to be.

[Prairie~Phlox]

No worry here, I plan, but not that far out.

[Guest]

I do worry and plan partially to stem anxiety. I worry the most about unknowns. (See my post Help Me Think This Through for the most recent example.) I am sitting here at this very moment, waiting for DD to return home from working all night. I'm happy for the opportunity she has, but it worries me that she is driving home after being awake all night. If I could, I would plan things to alleviate worry, but I am letting her be a grown-up, so I am not meddling. But I am bolt-awake at 5:30, knowing she is about to finish her shift.

[waa510]

Um, all of the above??  :lol:   I worry..but usually about my oldest as I haven't 'done' that year yet. I'm not too nervous for my little one b/c there's an air of btdt to her grade level since I've taught oldest at that level years before. I'm also familiar with the majority of the curriculum I'm using with little Dd so the planning isn't daunting either. 

 

Planning for oldest can be scary at times, honestly. Planning overall...once done...tends to center me, however. It gives me direction and purpose; it allows me to take a deep breath and carry on. Those X-grade planning threads help me relax and feel like I'm on the right track. 

 

I also have that general anxiety about their future and homeschooling crippling their goals somehow. I'd probably be better about it if I had any IRL homeschooling friends to discuss things with but alas I'm not *insert random thing*-enough for any homeschooler, it seems. 

[DawnM]

I am a planner by nature.  But your option of "and therefore don't worry" doesn't apply.

 

I still worry, just because there are plans doesn't mean they will work out.  Anything can happen.

 

 

[73349]

I do the planning and leave the worrying to DH.

[Carrie12345]

I think it depends on how you define "worry".

 

I'm a little bit obsessive about planning, to the point that I usually have back up plans and contingencies for as many twists and turns as I can imagine.  But I never manage to think of every possibility, and usually roll with the punches fairly well.

 

I get EXTREMELY anxious when I don't have enough information to make plans.  Someone may come over next weekend?  Great, which day? Around when?  For how long do you think?  Any food allergies or other dietary restrictions? Pet issues? Nobody knows?!?!  Then what am I supposed to plan???  :willy_nilly:

 

 

[nd293]

I enjoy planning which was why I worked as a project manager before kids.

I was a researcher before kids and that also ties into my planning personality. I like having facts, and my plans usually involve lots of research.

 

I put that I don't worry and do plan. Honestly my family would laugh hysterically at that. They would say I worry about everything. I would say I have a well developed understanding of all the catastrophes that might possibly befall us 😄. You know the type - I don't call it pessism I call it realism! The point for me though is that I don't let worry take over, I plan then I mostly let go of worry because I'm well equiped with information.

 

An example: we're travelling to the UK (much) later this year. The idea does make me anxious, especially the public transport aspect. My response is to research each individual trip, and record directions, routes and timetables. If I get confused I google and read travel forums until I figure things out. I soon have a clear mental picture of how things will work 'on the ground' and the anxiety dissipates.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It depends on what it is.  Some stuff I plan for and worry about.  Some stuff not so much.

 

 

[Bambam]

I'm a planner. I do not worry. I try to plan to cover every eventuality though. 

Outdoor event - plan a backup indoor venue in case of rain, super hot weather, influx of mosquitoes, whatever.

 

But I also know that sometimes the unexpected will arise. I'm not going to lose sleep worrying about that. I'll just wait till it appears and then deal with it.

[elegantlion]

I worry, plan, overthink, repeat. If I stay busy planning (or getting into the details of something), I worry less because there is a "plan" for several outcomes. 

[SKL]

The closest choice for me is that I don't worry much but I do plan.

The truth is that I do worry sometimes, or, I do get stressed out and overwhelmed "in the moment" sometimes.  I don't really worry about the future much.  Sometimes I wonder about how things will get resolved or whether one of my kids will have certain problems, but I don't consider that worrying.  I figure things generally work themselves out somehow.

 

I try to do what I can today to give my kids tools and to keep long-term things simple (so I don't have to worry much).  I have a general plan for the next 8 years, but nothing carved in stone.  On a year-to-year basis, I plan months ahead (generally) in order to lock in a schedule that gives the most bang for the buck.  On a daily basis, I don't always follow the plan.  :P

 

I don't plan minutiae like meals or what to wear in advance.  "Whatever is available" generally works for me.  :)

[Greta]

Once when a friend of mine was telling me how much it stresses her out to be the only one in her marriage who worries and plans, I realized that if I had more concern, perhaps my husband could worry less.  I had always felt like he worried enough for both of us, so I didn't need to bother!  She was the one who made me see that someone who worries alone worries more.  So though I tend to be more free-spirited and optimistic than my husband, I have tried to show him that I can shoulder some of the burden of concern for our future.  And honestly, as I've aged, I've felt a lot more concern for the future, too.  I still try not to worry, because I feel that worrying robs me of the present (I do have my moments, though!).  But concern and planning can help ensure a better future.  So I try to do that.

[Slojo]

I do worry some, of course. But I'm a planner, so I often cover a lot of bases. That said, I am not a really long range planner, except the basics (I have a retirement plan, but is every single possible thing that could happen to me in old age accounted for yet? No. If I live until 100, will the funds run out? As of today, that's possible, working on it...). So my planning applies more to the day-to-day; what is foreseeable in my life stage at the moment (3 - 5 year horizon). I don't find much use in worrying about 30 years into the future other than plunk away a little at a time, who knows what will happen.? I am much more likely to worry about how to manage a decision that needs to be taken in the next 3 months (but I will likely have Plan A, B, and C... and have thought about it enough to be able to scratch up a Plan D in the moment).

 

I also realized that I worry less as I get older. I think it's that I've been through enough crap that I survived to say, I will survive this too! Might not be sure how, at the moment, but I will. I can usually get back to that in a reasonable amount of time, even if I have an initial freak out. I actually like being in that place right now. It feels balanced. Not perfect, but balanced. 

Edited June 9, 2016 by Slojo

[Tita Gidge]

I'm a planner, maybe even to a fault. 

 

I plan two routes to baseball practice every Wednesday night even though I've been driving to the same fields twice a week for nine years. Everyone knows (even the kids' friends who we give rides to) not to talk to me or turn on the radio until we pull out of the subdivision because I'm route-planning LOL. I have to factor in whether it's trash day, whether the mail man was early or late, which side of town is undergoing street resurfacing, and what time the mega-Protestant churches in either direction have their Wednesday service (which clogs our two-land back road). Stuff that my brother will just deal with on the fly if he runs into them. But in fairness, I have other kids going in different directions and the timing of everyone's drop offs is essential!  Especially if I'm going to fit in my 30 minute Starbucks 'debrief' before I have to swing back and start picking everyone up again :lol: .

 

Confession: I was the mom who mapped out school careers for each kid beginning their K year - not just the homeschooled ones, but also the public school ones!

 

I think planning is what keeps me from worrying. Just knowing I have one or six plans in place is good, I don't have to actually stick to any plan. There's comfort just knowing there is one there if I need to default to it.

 

Being a planner allowed me to retire in my 30s. It helped me to divorce 'smart' and to guarantee a financially secure retirement once I hit 'real' retirement age. It helps me invest wisely - buying low, selling high. It helps me save on big purchases, like cars. And, God willing, it will help my kids care for me in my late, late years without significant cost (time or money) to them. This covers the things I'd otherwise worry about.  So, yeah, for me the planning relieves any tendency towards worrying.

 

[Liz CA]

I do worry and plan partially to stem anxiety. I worry the most about unknowns. (See my post Help Me Think This Through for the most recent example.) I am sitting here at this very moment, waiting for DD to return home from working all night. I'm happy for the opportunity she has, but it worries me that she is driving home after being awake all night. If I could, I would plan things to alleviate worry, but I am letting her be a grown-up, so I am not meddling. But I am bolt-awake at 5:30, knowing she is about to finish her shift.

 

This is me exactly. :laugh:

 

[Liz CA]

I am a planner by nature.  But your option of "and therefore don't worry" doesn't apply.

 

I still worry, just because there are plans doesn't mean they will work out.  Anything can happen.

 

Disregard the part in parenthesis. I just wondered if some people would read it that way. Unfortunately, I know that planning only helps with worry so much, then there are still all the unknown variables...:)

 

[SounderChick]

I am  pretty laid back and don't tend to worry much.  I also love to plan but I often scrap the plan and replan or just do something else because I feel like it.

[alisoncooks]

I'm about to send two kiddos off to a week of camp -- I've been making lists for weeks. I'm definitely a planner, and I think it does stem from worry (i.e. What if they need this or that?)

 

Funny thing is, I don't consider myself a worrier. When DH had cancer, I didn't worry or obsess. Cause there was nothing I could do; I couldn't fix anything or improve anything. His mom worried and fretted over setback or complication -- but I just did the things I had to do and didn't worry.

[SKL]

Well I said I am a planner, but I am also a procrastinator.  So tomorrow, I am supposed to work a full day, pack for my kids' weekend campout, purchase groceries for all the campers, and drive my kids and the food from their day camp to the campgrounds.  At the moment I haven't looked at the packing list, don't know what time I'm supposed to get there, and have no idea how I'm going to fit it all in within the time I have.  But I can't say I'm worried.  :P  The "I planned" part?  Well, I had the kids' summer camps scheduled and paid for months ago.  I did buy camping equipment and clothes long in advance, before seeing a packing list.  (Hopefully we won't need anything else.)  I even bought my kids books about camping and fishing, not that they ever read them.  :P  It'll work out.  (But I should probably ask the organizer what time I need to arrive with the food.)