Going back to work full-time

[shernandez]

Sadly, it appears I have to go back to work full-time. My kids have never been in public school before so we are new to after schooling. I'll be teaching at the school where they go. My thought is to ignore any homework given and just do our own thing every day. Has anyone done this?

[G5052]

My thought is to ignore any homework given and just do our own thing every day. Has anyone done this?

 

I'd be concerned about the impact on your children. Isn't this going to create problems with their teachers and their overall education?

[shernandez]

I'm thinking no...the teacher might not be happy, but she is well ahead of her grade level, and they will only be in school for 2 years. I just don't see how we could do homework, church activities, piano, and after schooling. I want them to have time to just be, too. I could care less about how they do in school, which is probably a poor attitude to have, but I'm not entirely happy with the whole situation to begin with. I mean, I care about their education, but I'm confident that she won't fall behind if we are working on school every evening and Saturday. 

Edited June 7, 2016 by shernandez

[kentuckymom]

Is the school they'll be attending and you'll be teaching at really bad? Why not just supervise their homework and touch on things they're not getting in an informal way? It seems your daughter is advanced in Math. If she enjoys doing Math,let her work through a book at her level at her own pace when she wants to. If she wants to continue one of the languages you're doing, again, let her do it in her free moments at her own pace, or maybe dedicate some time on Saturdays to it.

 

It sounds like you're setting yourself up for a miserable two years. I think you may want to try to find positives about your new job and your children's new educational environment. Surely they must exist.

[SKL]

I would have them do the homework.  Will they have time in aftercare while you are still at work?  That could be a good time to do it.

 

The 4yo shouldn't have a ton of homework over the next 2 years.  The 7yo might, depending on the school.  My kids generally manage to fit it all in. In general it was not a burden for my advanced daughter, because she would get it done very quickly, often while still at school.  My average daughter generally benefited from doing homework; it wasn't that much different from doing afterschooling for her.  So I reduced afterschooling at times in favor of homework and activities, but it wasn't a bad thing for us.

 

I suggest you go in open-minded about the homework and the impact of PS on your kids.  It might not be so bad.  :)

[vonfirmath]

I'm thinking no...the teacher might not be happy, but she is well ahead of her grade level, and they will only be in school for 2 years. I just don't see how we could do homework, church activities, piano, and after schooling. I want them to have time to just be, too. I could care less about how they do in school, which is probably a poor attitude to have, but I'm not entirely happy with the whole situation to begin with. I mean, I care about their education, but I'm confident that she won't fall behind if we are working on school every evening and Saturday. 

 

Teachers depend on parents to work with them to have a successful year.  If you are not willing to do this, you are going to make it a harder year for the teacher as well as your child.  Are you going to be teaching? If so, what would you do with a child whose parent told you this "I don't care how my kid does in class." Would this make you more or less willing to work with them to help the child work to their potential in your class, in so far as you are able to deal with it?

 

Note: My son has been in public school all along. He's accelerated and we were even offered the chance to skip a grade with him (we chose not to due to writing and maturity reasons). I have not felt the school did enough in certain places, but overall, every year he has learned and I have seen definite improvements.  Given that I cannot homeschool and work full time at the same time, I have worked with the school to make it a successful environment for my kids to learn and grow.

 

Kids DO take their attitudes from us, the parents.  But once they get started with feeling its okay to goof off about education, that may be hard to change in the future when you want her to buckle down and work again. Its best to make the best of the situation as it is and not as you wish it to be.

 

Edited June 7, 2016 by vonfirmath

[shernandez]

I do expect her to give 110% in class and take her school there seriously. But we focus a lot on other activities, and I don't honestly want homework to interfere with our life outside of school/work. I expect her grades to be excellent in class, but I could honestly care less about her doing homework, especially because I will be working with her. She seriously tested into 6th grade at the end of 1st (and we don't want her to be moved up a level), so I don't think the work in class is going to be difficult at all for her. I'm used to spending all day every day with them, and I want to do as much of that as I can when we are free. SKL, maybe I'll encourage her just to finish most of it up in class. Hopefully, it is minimal. I do see it being easy for her, so if it gets done quickly, I see no problem fitting it in while I am cooking or on our drive home. And I do know that I am being difficult, but I will not require my son to memorize lists of sight words. We teach by phonics, and he is already starting to read, so I will not change the way we have been learning for school. Yes, I am probably being more difficult than I need to be, but we have a good thing going and I don't want to lose progress because of a temporary necessity. 

[tm919]

I do expect her to give 110% in class and take her school there seriously. But we focus a lot on other activities, and I don't honestly want homework to interfere with our life outside of school/work. I expect her grades to be excellent in class, but I could honestly care less about her doing homework, especially because I will be working with her. She seriously tested into 6th grade at the end of 1st (and we don't want her to be moved up a level), so I don't think the work in class is going to be difficult at all for her. I'm used to spending all day every day with them, and I want to do as much of that as I can when we are free. SKL, maybe I'll encourage her just to finish most of it up in class. Hopefully, it is minimal. I do see it being easy for her, so if it gets done quickly, I see no problem fitting it in while I am cooking or on our drive home. And I do know that I am being difficult, but I will not require my son to memorize lists of sight words. We teach by phonics, and he is already starting to read, so I will not change the way we have been learning for school. Yes, I am probably being more difficult than I need to be, but we have a good thing going and I don't want to lose progress because of a temporary necessity. 

It sounds like you have already decided what to do. I do know of a family that did this all the way through high school. They sent a letter each year to each teacher saying they wouldn't do any homework. Everything was fine. I think the problem would have arisen if any of their children had needed remediation or extra help.

 

My take on it though is that it can send a bad message and unless it's unreasonable, just consider allowing your daughter time to do the homework even if you don't require it. She might see it differently from you because in some classrooms it is isolating if you don't do it. In my 6 yo daughter's classes:

*They often present their homework in circle if it's writing/book reports/etc. 

*They sometimes go over and correct homework in class, or pair up if each person did a "project"

*They sometimes use the homework to do an activity in class (e.g., bring in 100 sometimes, then you will skip count with your 100 somethings).

*They get a sticker for doing their homework for the month (without missing any)

 

It's only 2 years but to a 7 year old, 2 years might be an eternity -- if she is not doing homework & singles her out, it could make the transition harder on her. 

Edited June 7, 2016 by tm919

[EmilyGF]

My friend did this but found certain teachers would give the class a group punishment for a chid not doing the homework ("We only get game time when everyone does their homework."). Others were singled out for punishment. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes her kids chose to do their homework anyways because they felt left out if they didn't.

 

I'd be worried about souring your relationship with your colleagues, unless they are forced to assign homework and resent it themselves.

Emily

[RenaInTexas]

Mine (ds7 & ds9) do their homework and it is typically done in less than 15 minutes. If it takes longer than 15 minutes, then it was something that they needed to spend that extra time on anyway. I don't check their homework for accuracy. They are 100% responsible for it. If they ask a specific question on a problem, I will help. Otherwise, I use homework to teach them responsibility and accountability.

 

For after schooling, we do one hour per day; 3 on Saturday. We have dinner as a family and they have free time daily in the after school program and when they get home except on the days that we have karate and gymnastics.

Edited June 7, 2016 by RenaInTexas

[DawnM]

You will be teaching there?  Will you not give your students homework of any kind?

 

I can't imagine this working well.  If I were your child's teacher, I would be upset actually.  What is the point of taking them to a school you aren't even willing to do the work for?  What is that teaching them?  You only have to do work you like/want to do/etc....?????

 

And I agree with Seemesew, is that fair to the child to get low marks just because you don't deem it necessary?

 

 

[ReadingMama1214]

I cannot imagine that this would give your daughter or son a good attitude towards school. I'd imagine that if I was told I didn't have to do homework and the other kids did, I would become proud and entitled. Perhaps your kids won't, but I think you are setting them up for difficulties with peers and their teachers. What if this temporary situation becomes more long term? No one knows the future. I'd let them quickly do homework and move on with after schooling. And as for sight words, why not teach them phonetically? Also, do they not grade homework anymore? Mine was always graded and I imagine it effected my overal grade. It may be the case for your daughter as well.

[SKL]

Our school definitely gives grades on homework - even in 1st grade.  Maybe OP doesn't care about the grades?

 

When my kids were much younger, my attitude was that homework was their business; whatever they did was whatever the teacher got.  My kids were able to do it independently in KG aftercare, so no problem.  It was established that homework is expected.  But the one time I started getting push-back about it, I told my kids, "you don't want to do it?  Fine, but on one condition:  you go up to the teacher and tell her, to her face, that you decided not to do it."  So far nobody ever took me up on that.  :P

 

I don't know if my kids would miss recess over homework, but I wouldn't put it past our school.  They missed recess (and once even lunch) over dumber things.  :P

[Bluegoat]

I can understand your not wanting to do it.  Not having homework, a lot of which IMO is unessesary or even silly, is a big reason I've wanted to homeschool - I want my kids to be free after school to do really worthwhile things that they can't do in school - music, play, go to the woods, etc.

 

My dd11 is heading tops for the first time this September, and I am really keeping my fingers crossed that the homework isn't mostly silly - it so doesn't fit my personality to have her spend time on silly work.

 

However, I really doubt I would put her in a position where I just said - don't do it.  I think it would be hard on her, and honestly unfair to her teacher.  If I became really conserved about the work, I'd rather talk directly to the teacher, and if necessary let it be a lesson to her in box ticking.

 

 

That being said - this is a major reason we will not be doing any significant amount of after-schooling - I am not willing to have her spend that much of her day on academics.  And, she will be in grade 6, and at that age can on the one hand get more out of well designed homework, and on the other understand why she needs to do work that is stupid sometimes.  I might feel differently about a child of four or seven - neither IMO should get homework with any regularity.

 

Edited June 14, 2016 by Bluegoat

[katilac]

I would talk to the teacher and see if afterschooling can be substituted for some or all of the homework.

 

She many not even have very much, so I wouldn't go in with the idea that you are going to ignore it no matter what. I can't imagine that making for a pleasant atmosphere for either of you. Plus, you better not plan on assigning homework in your own class! 

[vonfirmath]

I would talk to the teacher and see if afterschooling can be substituted for some or all of the homework.

 

She many not even have very much, so I wouldn't go in with the idea that you are going to ignore it no matter what. I can't imagine that making for a pleasant atmosphere for either of you. Plus, you better not plan on assigning homework in your own class! 

 

If you do not assign homework in your own class, please have another method to communicate with the parents regularly on what is being learned.

 

Seeing my son's homework and how he is handling it is one of the best ways I have, as a parent, to stay in touch with what the schools are doing.  I ask him what he does at school and do not get useful answers. But I can see that he is studying inventors and ask him to tell me something about one of them and he'll go into detail.  I see on his math sheets that he struggles with 8x7 and 7x6 and then can focus on those in our studies at home.  Etc.

 

I never saw any writing came home, so I had to presume that they were not doing any writing at school this year (which seems very odd at an advanced third grade level!)

 

I'm not certain of how much science was done due to how little I saw at home.

 

[Nart]

 I didn't have my kids do all the homework.   My oldest who just finished third grade did the majority of his homework. The exception was spelling. He had a list of 15 spelling words, 5 challenge words, and three dictation sentences. He was supposed to copy all the words several times and do some other activities. I I gave him a pretest on Monday and he only wrote the words he missed three times, not all the words. Occasionally I also removed some math worksheets when they were really a waste of time. His school uses Everyday Math, which I can't stand.  Two parent volunteers checked off the homework and made the homework packets.  I asked her how she marked homework if it was not complete. She laughed and said she knows my son is such a good student she just gives him a check even if everything wasn't done. 

My younger son who just finished first grade got a "needs improvement" grade on his homework at the end of the year. That was really the only consequence of not doing homework. I repeatedly asked her to send home the weekly homework packet on Fridays instead of Mondays so we could work on it Friday afternoons (they get out at noon on Fridays), Saturdays and Sundays. She had the packet ready but said that she didn't like doing homework with her kids on the weekends so she didn't want to send it home.  I had him do Singapore Math instead of Everyday Math and complete his spelling work. I also read a lot with him. He is the type of kid who does not do well with busy work.  I spoke to the teacher and told her we do a lot of reading and math at home. Since he scored Advanced on his benchmark tests, the teacher never mentioned it.  There is no way I could have afterschooled my youngest and had him complete all the homework.  

[Have kids -- will travel]

You can definitely work with a teacher to find alternative homework solutions for advanced kiddos. That does require approaching schooling with a different attitude.

 

You have a few months to let the changes sink in, and you may indeed feel differently once you get started. I understand your disappointment now that you need to work and your child need to attend school, but you may find it freeing to watch them progress in weaker (painful-to-teach) subjects without whining (my son went from whining about writing to filling up pages and pages passionately ... thank you, school, because I could not have effected that change at home). You may enjoy the challenge outside the home, and your kids may enjoy the schooling, social aspects, and fun extras.

 

Or it may indeed be a season to survive, in which case you can take comfort knowing you plan to return to homeschool.

 

I'd just recommend working on seeing the teacher as a partner in learning, rather than your competition, and go in with an attitude of cooperation. You can be the involved parent who works with the teacher to find a great solution for your children, or you can be "that" parent ... and your kids will definitely not be better off for it.

[mayath]

Does your child's school have a lot of daily homework?

My philosophy (and I'm also a teacher) is to make sure that my kids do their school homework during the week because it teaches them to organize their time and get work done. It helps them build a work ethic, if nothing else. Often it also helps them consolidate basic skills.

I try to afterschool for math during the week (we carve out math time on Wednesday evenings) and then I do some afterschooling on Saturday mornings as well (usually math and/or grammar). We also try to fit in as much reading as possible everyday. Realistically, it's not possible to do a whole lot of afterschooling when kids have long days at school and substantial school homework, but I do think that the consequences of ditching school homework completely could be negative. I would recommend working with the teacher and reinforcing homework...

www.mayathiagarajan.info

 

[debi21]

I did it. I was fighting with my son about his homework starting in November. In February/March, I called it quits. I told his teachers (reading, math and "homeroom") that we weren't doing it any more. This was 1st grade. They had him do as much as he could in class and sometimes held him in at recess. The teachers reacted differently - the reading teacher, whose hw is what sent us over the edge told me I was violating the Parent Handbook agreement. The math teacher sympathized.

 

The curriculum he was doing was spiral, with heavy busywork and tests in reading and math every two weeks. He continued to score above 80% on all tests after not doing homework. His homework was 2-3 pages of math every night, 2 pages of reading comprehension worksheets, 5 reading comprehension questions plus a writing assignment every night (and a weekly spelling assignment). The writing assignment went from "write a paragraph" daily in the first half of the year to "write an essay" daily for the second (with the occasional write a newspaper article or write a poem). In 1st grade. It was ridiculous. They group for math and reading and he was working with a 3rd grade math text (with mostly 2nd graders) and a 4th grade reading text (with mostly 3rd graders). So I understand a little why the output requirements were higher, but even 3rd/4th graders shouldn't be given an essay every night IMO. Anyway, the whole thing spiraled when the reading teacher was reticent to work with us, saying she didn't want to lower the standards of the class, and I eventually told her we weren't doing it anymore at all. I should mention a big portion of it has to do with the burden of handwriting for a 6/7 year old physically, especially with a boy whose handwriting isn't great (read: legible) when rushed. That a request to type hw was denied. And that in January reading teacher said illegible HW has to be redone.

 

Also, he kept up on homework on November and December, but was unable to do any reading at home whatsoever at that time. When we dropped homework, my son was able to read Harry Potter 1-4 between March and May.

 

However, it has put me in an awkward situation now. We were able to make it through a few months, but I don't know if I can send him back to that school and continue the defiance for another year. I am looking to homeschool now, but not sure whether I can make it happen. My son loves his school, just not the homework and all the testing. But he will miss the kids and will be sad if I tell him for sure he's not going. And I felt tense and unhappy with a divided mind through the whole thing. Finally, to echo some others - not a lot of time for afterschooling. He had time for some extracurriculars, dinner, a little play and a little reading. And I still felt like he wasn't getting enough sleep. I don't know how some of the afterschooling peeps get it done consistently.