Would you breastfeed this long (video clip)

[Guest janainaz]

Why?

 

I'm sorry, maybe I did not word that right and really think about it. I am really not against anyone doing it longer - I'm a big advocate of breastfeeding. I was actually terrified that they would want to forever and I would not have the heart to wean them. I loved being close to them - so, it was more social pressure than anything (in my mind). They both weaned on their own right before two (well, my second one was a few months after). Had they not weaned on their own - who knows! I'm editing here to add that they did ask and had words for it. What I meant more is them getting older and communicating on a new level - for me, that would be weird. But, that is just me! :) Certainly my opinion is not meant in any way to offend anyone.

Edited October 8, 2008 by janainaz

[Annie Laurie]

I'm having probs with youtube at the moment so I haven't see the video but as an LC I say it's up to the mom & baby dyad to make that determination. It will vary widely.

 

I do think that raising a child in a culture where breasts are sexualized adds a lot of challenges to breastfeeding an older child. Clearly, breasts are not sexual in many cultures & for many people but when you're living in this culture, it's something you can't really escape. (though I'm doing my part by leaving my knitted breasts lying around to desensitize visitors :tongue_smilie:)

 

There is a separate issue of developmental psychology which has nothing to do with breasts but rather has to do with the development of identity. I'm particularly biased towards Erik Erikson's developmental views & I think that somewhere around the age of 6, there should be a shift in the child's identity which would make this specific type of bonding less important than the development of a different relationship with the family. Understand, I am a proponent of attachment theory so I'm not advocating a detached manner of parenting but rather suggesting that the relationship needs to move beyond this stage.

 

I did nurse until about 6. I honestly can't remember exactly when my older one weaned - I think it might have been a bit past 6 & the younger one was ready a bit before 6. It was very rare by then too.

 

I agree with this, very well stated and makes sense to me. (About the shift in the child's identity).

[Nakia]

I did until both my kids turned two. I can't imagine it beyond that. If they are old enough to ask for it, it's time to call it quits.

 

I wouldn't have made it past six months or so if I believed that. We call nursing "nummies" here. My babies said "mi-mi" by six months at the latest. Not picking on you Jana, just saying lots of children talk well WAY before two years old. All three of my girls did. :D

[Joanne]

I breastfed my children for a very long time by western cultural standards.

 

Popping in again to say...the disturbing part of the video to me was the girls' obsession with their mother's breasts. The drawings, the discussion that the girls feel the breasts are theirs, the names...that is just creepy for an 8 and 11 year old.

 

I will not put an age on acceptable. I will say that I believe in a *healthy* relationship, which includes a *healthy* breastfeeding relationship, either the child weans or is mother-led into weaning by 8.

 

I don't believe that "extended" (I hate that term) breastfeeding is an issue or that it suggests anything about the parents. I *do* think it's a place where dysfunction can emerge and show up.

 

I've also observed a higher level of .... extremism (using the kinder adjective) or whackos in counter cultural choices. I've seen it in homebirthers, homeschooling, vegan/vegetarian, homesteading, etc. I see nothing inherently wrong with those choices but I do think there exists a percentage of people attracted to alternative choices from a less than healthy "place".

 

I find the video absolutey disturbing and I hate that anyone would couple my natural nursing choices with theirs.

[Elizabeth in MN]

I nursed my daughter until the day of her fourth birthday. I had to ween her because I had to start taking anti-seizure meds and I didn't want her getting any in my breast milk. She was nursing only about every three days at the time.

 

To me personally I think the mother is uncomfortable with still nursing, but is equally uncomfortable with telling her daughter no. She makes rules about getting dressed and how her daughter can nurse - that's what suggests to me she is uncomfortable with it.

 

I also think the documentary could be misleading. For example, I bet her daughters aren't as nursing focused as it seemed. Suggestions from the crew could have been "Can you draw us a picture of you Mum's boobs" or "What does breast milk taste like". Those parts would have been cut out and it looks to us like the girls are always talking about nursing and breasts.

 

I am very thankful that my daughter nursed beyond the age of two. The UN suggests that nursing should happen until the age of two, and the AAP recommends that breast feeding the the main source of nutrition until at least the age of one. My daughter has food allergies and had little interest in solid foods until she was sixteen months old. She never had a thing to do with baby food - she pretty much just went straight into regular adult food. She's also left handed so she had problems learning how to use a spoon until I started showing her how with my left hand.

[ChristusG]

I'm a big advocate of breastfeeding. I think every child should have the advantage and closeness associated with nursing.

 

I nursed DD#1 until I got pregnant with DD#2 (DD#1 was 27 months old). I would have liked to tandem nursed them, but my milk changed taste and was slowly drying up due to the hormones, and DD didnt like the change in it, so she quit all on her own. I was kind of sad about that, but it was her natural weaning time.

 

I'm still currently nursing DD#2 at 19 months old. She doesnt ask as much as she did a few months ago, but she still nurses in the morning, at night, during the night, and several times a day. She still nurses to sleep for naps/nighttime. I just love when she runs up to me with a huge smile on her face and makes the sign for milk and yells "ont miiiiiiiiiiiik" (translates to "want milk").

 

I think I would be okay nursing a kid up to about 5 years old....but I dont think I could do 8.

[beansprouts]

I'm sorry, maybe I did not word that right and really think about it. I am really not against anyone doing it longer - I'm a big advocate of breastfeeding. I was actually terrified that they would want to forever and I would not have the heart to wean them. I loved being close to them - so, it was more social pressure than anything (in my mind). They both weaned on their own right before two (well, my second one was a few months after). Had they not weaned on their own - who knows! I'm editing here to add that they did ask and had words for it. What I meant more is them getting older and communicating on a new level - for me, that would be weird. But, that is just me! :) Certainly my opinion is not meant in any way to offend anyone.

 

I understand what you are saying, Jana. I was more amused than offended. "When they're old enough to ask fot it, they are too old" is actually a common phrase that I believe many use without really thinking about it.

 

:001_smile:

[tricia]

Hmm, very interesting. My daughter will be 3 in December and she still nurses but, well, um, uh, 8 years old. I don't think so!:001_huh:

 

Tricia

http://www.mommyx12.blogspot.com

[cathmom]

Once your dc weans, it doesn't seem natural anymore. My twins weaned back in February when they were nearly 2 1/2. Today one of them was on my lap and it really seemed weird - the idea of nursing him. Yet he only just turned 3, and both my dds were still nursing at 3. But I couldn't even imagine nursing him!

[clane]

I see it as odd and wonder if it is for the benefit of the mother or child at that point.

[chaik76]

I'm not going to state an opinion on the woman breastfeeding her child until eight...it's not mine to make.

However, I've both breast and bottle fed...and there are advantages and disadvantages to both. Such a personal decision. I'm always so surprised that breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding becomes so heated (not that it has in this thread).

Edited October 9, 2008 by chaik76

[Lizzie in Ma]

I breastfed my youngest til she was 5 and she was only nursing at bedtime and for serious boo boos by then. She was all done when she was ready.

I don't regret a second of it, it was one of my greatest joys.

 

My older one had all kinds of issues and I was a very inexperienced Mom with zero support system and we only managed 3 months and it was hellish. I was so conflicted about it, it felt like she had rejected me. It is one of the greatest regrets I do have, that I was unable to make it work with her.