Anyone else get anxious planning it all out?

[blue daisy]

This is our first year and as I am trying to muddle through planning everything for everyone, I'm starting to feel a lot of anxiety!  I've been wanting to homeschool for years. I have researched and read, and pored over curriculum samples. Now that it's time to choose I feel lost.  I have several threads on the K-8 board trying to get math and language arts figured out, so please feel free to weigh in on those if you have a minute. :confused1:

 

Did anyone else feel so stressed and overwhelmed getting it all figured out when you were starting out? or even after you've been doing it for a while? Help!  :)

[...................]

To be honest, I mostly just had rainbows and sparkles and wide eyed dreams while planning everything out.  Then teh end of summer would come and I would panic and scrap half my plans, thereby losing money, and then start out fairly confident and the anxiety hits at multiple times througout the year, as different seasons come and go.

 

In general, for your first year, you should ONLY DO 3RS!  DO NOT try to add in tons of other stuff.  Just 3Rs' and then cuddle everyone up on teh couch to read 10 minutes from really good books every day.  

[Jackie]

I mostly get stressed when something isn't working and I have to scrap it and do the research all over again, or when DD makes some crazy cognitive leaps and I have to recalibrate my idea of what "level" she is at. I've found that about once per year I'm in planning meltdown, though it's not contained to one set planning time.

[blue daisy]

To be honest, I mostly just had rainbows and sparkles and wide eyed dreams while planning everything out.  Then teh end of summer would come and I would panic and scrap half my plans, thereby losing money, and then start out fairly confident and the anxiety hits at multiple times througout the year, as different seasons come and go.

 

In general, for your first year, you should ONLY DO 3RS!  DO NOT try to add in tons of other stuff.  Just 3Rs' and then cuddle everyone up on teh couch to read 10 minutes from really good books every day.  

 

I love how the first response to my freak-out post is from someone called "Calming Tea." Just what I need right now! :)

 

Also, I think you helped me make up my mind to scrap a formal science program for my littles and just read good books and get out and enjoy nature.

[Sahamamama]

Yup.

[Sahamamama]

To be honest, I mostly just had rainbows and sparkles and wide eyed dreams while planning everything out.  Then teh end of summer would come and I would panic and scrap half my plans, thereby losing money, and then start out fairly confident and the anxiety hits at multiple times througout the year, as different seasons come and go.

 

In general, for your first year, you should ONLY DO 3RS!  DO NOT try to add in tons of other stuff.  Just 3Rs' and then cuddle everyone up on teh couch to read 10 minutes from really good books every day.  

 

Having homeschooled from the beginning, I agree with this wise advice. I wouldn't have listened to it at the time, but it is still good advice. ;)

 

 

[Sahamamama]

I love how the first response to my freak-out post is from someone called "Calming Tea." Just what I need right now! :)

 

Also, I think you helped me make up my mind to scrap a formal science program for my littles and just read good books and get out and enjoy nature.

 

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

 

Let's Read and Find Out Science + Gail Gibbons books + Time outside = Enough ;)

 

And later, LRFO Science Stage 2 books.

[Targhee]

Did anyone else feel so stressed and overwhelmed getting it all figured out when you were starting out? or even after you've been doing it for a while? Help! :)

Of course! I think if you have never felt a bit of that you might need to worry.

 

Something I have noticed about myself is that I seem to stress out more when I am in the mindset of "the curriculum is the solution." By that I mean, when I give too much importance to curricular choices. Curricular choices are important, and can make a huge difference in your homeschool. But don't forget that you can give your children a lovely education with less-than-perfect materials. So much of what is taught is conveyed through you, your attitudes and your interactions with your kids. Showing love, patience, optimism, and poise makes up for a myriad of curricular and schedule shortcomings :-)

 

Best wishes for your first year!

Edited June 6, 2016 by Targhee

[SamanthaCarter]

Get advice from someone you know in real life. They should be able to help you narrow down to what you actually need for starting out and even if you don't quite like thier choices/recs, there's always next year. And if there is something you already KNOW you want to use, swap it out this year. My mom did this for me and it helped me stay grounded. :)

[blue daisy]

Thank you.  I think I just needed to hear "it's all going to be ok even if you don't get everything perfect the first time around."  And to be reminded that less is more, especially as we start out. :)

[nobeatenpath]

We homeschooled (after years of reading and thinking about it), then stopped, then started again. Have gone through classical education to unschooling and back again. So we have kind of had the starting panic twice! I think one of the most overwhelming thing with planning is all the options.So.Many.Choices. And like others, I have made expensive mistakes, wondered if perhaps we could have done better with something else, or my kid has just blown through something I thought would take half a year.

 

So yeah, I get where you are  :coolgleamA:   

 

As others have said, be kind to yourself starting out. Remember this is a marathon not a sprint (I find that one hard ...) and a year of just the basics will be perfect. Even a period of 'de-schooling' might be worth it for kids used to 'normal' school.

And welcome to the world of homeschool!

Edited June 6, 2016 by nobeatenpath

[LisaKinVA]

I've been HS for 12 years now, and I still get stressed out!  Not so much with the little kids -- but there is always more I want them to learn and do -- just not enough hours in a day to study everything and maintain enough needed downtime.  

[Rosie_0801]

Mostly I think "Wow. How good and virtuous am I going to feel when we've done this stuff."  :laugh:

[HomeAgain]

Let's see...our first year I started out with an outline for each subject and Saxon math.  I had no idea how we would cover it all.  Nope.  I just started at the top and worked our way down.  That year was just as much about me learning as me teaching.  One thing I learned was that we hated Saxon math. :lol:  BUT, it doesn't matter.  The next year I was able to define better what would probably work and go look for that.

 

Relax.  If you hate what you've bought you've still got options: either rework it so that it does go along better or use as is, but make notes for what you are looking for in a curriculum.  Nothing is magic, you may find yourself tweaking quite a bit, but that gives you more self-reliance on being a teacher and not just someone using the teacher's guide.

[....]

Yep, I've been doing this 7 or 8 years now and I'm sweatin' bullets looking at our lesson plans.   :001_unsure:   

 

It really will be ok.  If it's any consolation, our first year seemed like a total bomb.  Second year was a ton of curriculum-hopping.  Third year was when we found our groove. 

 

Keep relaxed homeschooling in your back pocket for when you really need it!  Also, when we just couldn't take it anymore, we would completely stop everything and do a big unit study together.  Some of our absolute best homeschooling memories are from doing unit studies - especially a survival skills unit study we did one year when totally burned out.  We read My Side of the Mountain, read some books on navigation, practiced first aid, worked through a book on sailing knots, learned animal tracks, went hiking along the beach...  My kids had a blast.  Then, when it was over, we just picked up where we left off.

 

 

[....]

 or when DD makes some crazy cognitive leaps and I have to recalibrate my idea of what "level" she is at. 

 

This happened to us this year with the 11 year-old!  I will never again buy curriculum in the early spring for the fall.  Ugh!  I feel like I wasted a ton of money!   :crying:

[BlsdMama]

This is our first year and as I am trying to muddle through planning everything for everyone, I'm starting to feel a lot of anxiety!  I've been wanting to homeschool for years. I have researched and read, and pored over curriculum samples. Now that it's time to choose I feel lost.  I have several threads on the K-8 board trying to get math and language arts figured out, so please feel free to weigh in on those if you have a minute. :confused1:

 

Did anyone else feel so stressed and overwhelmed getting it all figured out when you were starting out? or even after you've been doing it for a while? Help!  :)

 

 

I don't remember how it was when we started - I think that maybe I was more idealistic - that my "perfect" choice was VITAL to them learning.  Now that I know these kids can learn with just about anything I put more thought into how well it fits into our family style of schooling. :)

 

But I will say that I feel a huge sense of relief and pure joy when I see Excel spreadsheets, nicely three hole punched, and placed nicely in a binder.  Now, granted I'm only "on schedule" for the first week or two, but I love gazing at the line plans and caressing them every so often.

[theelfqueen]

I'm going into my second year -- and first year was a bit of a trial by fire since we pulled Muppet Boy out of 9th grade mid-semester and had to jump straight in. And we did pretty darned well considering! But I didn't have time to agonize over decisions or over-research. It was "I have a week to get something in place" So I did it. He was really happy with our math choice (Saxon) and really unhappy with the biology book I borrowed from a friend (Apologia) (So unhappy that I ditched it after one chapter and bought Miller and Levine on my iPad -- much happier kid... some things aren't worth fighting over).

 

This year I've got both Muppet Boy and Sherlock at home... and I'm seriously overthinking everything. I picked a math curriculum for Sherlock. I had him check out the first chapter sample and he was VERY excited... then I doubted whether it was enough practice and bought more stuff... good supplements but really I probably don't need them.  I'm not much of a curriculum buyer, really... I like building my own. (I knew this already since my background is teaching high school). I bought Math and Writing curricula. I am building social studies and science. So I have plenty to do and focus on in lesson and curriculum planning... but I don't want to do so much that I'll be sick of the subjects before we get to them LOL

 

[HS Mom in NC]

You're homeschooling for the first time with 3 school aged kids and a toddler.  That's a lot.  Those of us who homeschooled all the way through started out with one kid doing a little phonics, math and handwriting the first year with a toddler and maybe an infant so our anxiety levels about our first years would've been very different.

I'm not completely clear in your post about what's causing your anxiety.  Is it choosing a curriculum?  Is it the scheduling itself?  Is it homeschooling in general?  Are you worried about juggling academics with 4 kids at different levels? Those are all different and should be addressed very differently.  So if you could please elaborate more we may be able to help you more specifically. 

If it's choosing curriculum, remember that there probably aren't any terrible, horrible, awful, no good, very bad choices. In ps kids get the one curriculum approved by The Powers That Be without any thought of their individual differences and most are doing fine.  Children in the homeschooling community are getting solid math instruction whether they're using Saxon, Singapore, Math U See, Horizons, CLE, Teaching Textbooks, or whatever.  Do many people switch math curriculum at some point?  Yes.  I'd bet math is probably the subject where the most people make at least one change.  Let that reassure you that changes can be made in the future if whichever option you end up choosing doesn't work out as well as you liked.  Make sure your spouse is aware that changes are commonly made and budget accordingly. Don't equate curriculum change with failure, it's not. Everyone makes changes in something at some point, even......ps. As a matter of fact, changes have been the norm over the last century in ps.

Are you mathy? Do you want to do the instruction yourself? Do any of your children seem mathy? Did you struggle with math?  Do you dislike it?  Would you rather not do the instructing? Do you have a child who struggles with math?  How you answer those questions should be factored into curriculum shopping.  Whether or not you want someone else doing some or all of the math  instruction on some sort of video should be considered.  Whether or not you want math manipulatives incorporated into instruction and practice will influence your choice too. How much of the record keeping you want to do vs. how much you want a computer to do it will carry weight.

I think language arts (LA) is probably the second most switched curriculum. There's quite a range of them.  What's included and how it's taught in LA can vary widely from one curriculum to the other.  Maybe the first thing to ask is, have you found anything lacking in your own LA education? Was there something you think should've been included, but wasn't? Narration, dictation, copywork, grammar, sentence diagramming, outlining, composition, dictionary skills, thesaurus skills, vocabulary, phonics, spelling, and all that can be included in LA.  Do you want all of those things or do you consider some of them unnecessary? How are you at LA? Do you enjoy LA?  How about each of your kids?  Do you want your children to identify grammar concepts in sentences someone else wrote or prefer an approach where your child has to come up with their own sentences that show they understand grammar concepts? That kind of thing.

Being able to somewhat articulate what you do and don't want in a curriculum can help you make more confident decisions up front.  Keeping mental or written track of what specifically is working and what specifically isn't working as you go through the year(s) will give you a better sense of whether or not sticking with the curriculum you have or making a change makes sense.  If you decide to make a change in the next year or two or three, you're more likely to find something that meets your needs because you know specifically what you do and don't need.  There are no guarantees in life, even in well researched options, but the odds are better the more you've thought about it.

What are your priorities?  Let's say life goes crazy your second week in and the day it all starts happening you have time and emotional energy to get 2 subjects done.  Which 2 would they be? OK, now imagine the crazy dies down some more and you have the time to do a half day.  What would make your list of subjects to get done on a 1/2 day? Now imagine things have calmed down even more, but they're not back to normal yet, what would be included in your 3/4 day? Knowing that kind of thing up front makes it a less stressful when the tidal wave hits.  

It can work that way within a subject and within a lesson too.  Let's take LA.  Let's pretend you planned out your year by the week.  You know that this week things are going to be challenging in some way, so you look at this week's LA and you decide to cut some of it out. Typically what a child needs more practice in goes right to the top.  Review or more practice in something the child has a good handle on goes to the bottom.  The most important used skill or two covered that week moves up the priority list and the least important, least used skills covered that week move down the list. That can happen within a lesson for the day also. Being able to prioritize the most important thing keeps you on track while dropping the lesser things with a clear conscience. 

When it comes to scheduling, what do you mean? Are you interested in having it all scheduled and planned out for all subjects and all kids? Are there some subjects you want planned out and others to be done as you please or in a do the next thing kind of way?  Does loop scheduling appeal to you at all for some or all subjects? Sometimes, just knowing how many times a week you need to do a subject is enough to keep you on track to make sure you get through a certain amount by a certain time. Sometimes scheduling it all out gets you where you want to be.

[momof4inco]

I hear you! We virtual schooled last year, so I feel like the layout of our days is good. It's the curriculum that's causing my heartburn! I printed out a final list. Then a final final list. Then a "this is the last list" list. Then I just stopped printing it :) It became a joke a for my husband...

 

I see people on here who say they scrapped this or ditched that, and I panic! I'm hoping that my choices won't be all wrong. I can afford to replace a couple things, but we can't afford to replace everything. This is going to be an interesting learning experience!

 

I finally let go of planning the year. I had nice Excel spreadsheets set up, all I had to do was check the boxes as we went through the year. Then I changed math and writing plans... The thought of going through that again made me scrap the whole idea. Now I've figured out how far we need to get by certain points in the year, so that we can finish by the end of the year. If we aren't at those points, we need to speed up a little.

 

Good luck to you, and everyone else who is not completely confident in this journey. We can't screw them up any more than we did before they started school, right?  :blink:

[PeterPan]

I agree with the others that some of this is probably due to jumping in the middle of things and having four kids, including a toddler.  That's going to be a challenge!  But it will be fun and special and good too.  :)

 

My two cents, having done those ages but not with four kids (big grain of salt here), is to get the two olders going with some semblance of peace, with schedules a routine, THEN work the youngers in.  Like maybe start the two olders a month earlier than the two youngers.  But focus on checklists, what they can do independently, structure.  Do they have SLDs or SN or anything that will hinder them?  What are their personalities like?  You'll really want to work with their personalities.  You've got your two girls coming up, and they may be your little picture of homeschool at the table.  I'm guessing the boys are going to be more like all business, give me a list, let me OUT of here.  Even my ds is like that, and he has a ton of SLDs meaning he CAN'T necessarily do things by himself!  LOL  

 

It's ok to ease into things or even like send the two littles to grandma's for the week while you get the olders started.  Then add in the youngers.  :)

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I'm not the freak-out type.  I'm the rock solid self-confidence type.  Luckily I'm also the type to decide, with rock-solid self-confidence, that the me-of-three-months-ago was an idiot and NOW I know what I'm doing.  I repeat that cycle every three months or so.  :-)  

[theelfqueen]

I don't know how doable this is with your curriculum choices but depending on the ability to do so -- don't write in the books until you know they're working. Then you can sell them for more if you decide to ditch them :)

 

[2_girls_mommy]

I am not anxious about planning.  I like all of the curric I have chosen.  But I am not sure at all how I am going to schedule our days next year.  like AT ALL.  This year's schedule worked well.  But our plans for next year are so different, that I want to switch things up.  i just can't make heads or tails of it yet.  So I am letting it simmer a bit longer.

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

I don't know that anxious is the right word but...something. The first few years weren't bad because I was just focusing on the 3 R's. The last few years have been more difficult as I've added kids to the mix and they've gotten older. I want to make sure they great a great education and sometimes I over think it.

 

Last year I started out trying to do way too much. I kept reading about all these great programs and how people would combine several. I ended up trying to combine several curriculums for a couple of different subjects plus do all the extras like art, music, poetry, nature study, hymn study, Latin, Spanish, etc, etc. Of course that didn't work! I eventually chose 1 main curriculum for each core subject and dumped the rest. We also put away all of the extras and just focused on figuring out a routine with our core subjects. The second half of the year went significantly better! I think we got some things figured out to the point where we'll be able to add some of the extras back in next year. I just have to keep reminding myself that we don't have to cover every subject every year. I need to stick with just a few at a time. I can always change things up later and swap things out so that over the course of 12 years they are exposed to a lot of things.

[blue daisy]

Well, I'm glad I'm not alone!  I have been wanting to homeschool for so long and now that we're doing it, it just seems like there's so much to figure out!  I know I'll get there, I was just having a panicky moment. :)  The one thing I keep coming back to as I read your responses is to start slow, not try to do it all our first year, etc. This is so important for me to remember!

[blue daisy]

I don't know that anxious is the right word but...something. The first few years weren't bad because I was just focusing on the 3 R's. The last few years have been more difficult as I've added kids to the mix and they've gotten older. I want to make sure they great a great education and sometimes I over think it.

 

Last year I started out trying to do way too much. I kept reading about all these great programs and how people would combine several. I ended up trying to combine several curriculums for a couple of different subjects plus do all the extras like art, music, poetry, nature study, hymn study, Latin, Spanish, etc, etc. Of course that didn't work! I eventually chose 1 main curriculum for each core subject and dumped the rest. We also put away all of the extras and just focused on figuring out a routine with our core subjects. The second half of the year went significantly better! I think we got some things figured out to the point where we'll be able to add some of the extras back in next year. I just have to keep reminding myself that we don't have to cover every subject every year. I need to stick with just a few at a time. I can always change things up later and swap things out so that over the course of 12 years they are exposed to a lot of things.

 

I'm afraid this is what I am going to do.  There are just so many cool things to study, I want to do it all! LOL  I'm reminding myself that it's a marathon, not a race. We will have time for it down the road. :)

[blue daisy]

I don't know how doable this is with your curriculum choices but depending on the ability to do so -- don't write in the books until you know they're working. Then you can sell them for more if you decide to ditch them :)

 

Good idea!!!

[blue daisy]

I agree with the others that some of this is probably due to jumping in the middle of things and having four kids, including a toddler.  That's going to be a challenge!  But it will be fun and special and good too.   :)

 

My two cents, having done those ages but not with four kids (big grain of salt here), is to get the two olders going with some semblance of peace, with schedules a routine, THEN work the youngers in.  Like maybe start the two olders a month earlier than the two youngers.  But focus on checklists, what they can do independently, structure.  Do they have SLDs or SN or anything that will hinder them?  What are their personalities like?  You'll really want to work with their personalities.  You've got your two girls coming up, and they may be your little picture of homeschool at the table.  I'm guessing the boys are going to be more like all business, give me a list, let me OUT of here.  Even my ds is like that, and he has a ton of SLDs meaning he CAN'T necessarily do things by himself!  LOL  

 

It's ok to ease into things or even like send the two littles to grandma's for the week while you get the olders started.  Then add in the youngers.   :)

 

Yes, I think it is partly that there are 3 kids to plan for, including one middle schooler. I feel a little with him like I don't have time to mess things up! Both of my boys have ADHD (and the oldest has high functioning ASD) so I'm not sure how much they can do independently. But that is a good idea to have them start before my daughter and get them into a routine. All my kids are chomping at the bit to get started but I'm making them wait and actually enjoy summer first! And I've been talking a lot with them about starting slow, adding one or two subjects at a time, etc.  I think in *their* mind, homeschool will be just like school and I am really aiming to have a much more relaxed school here.

 

Thank you for the advice!

[blue daisy]

You're homeschooling for the first time with 3 school aged kids and a toddler.  That's a lot.  Those of us who homeschooled all the way through started out with one kid doing a little phonics, math and handwriting the first year with a toddler and maybe an infant so our anxiety levels about our first years would've been very different.

 

I'm not completely clear in your post about what's causing your anxiety.  Is it choosing a curriculum?  Is it the scheduling itself?  Is it homeschooling in general?  Are you worried about juggling academics with 4 kids at different levels? Those are all different and should be addressed very differently.  So if you could please elaborate more we may be able to help you more specifically. 

 

If it's choosing curriculum, remember that there probably aren't any terrible, horrible, awful, no good, very bad choices. In ps kids get the one curriculum approved by The Powers That Be without any thought of their individual differences and most are doing fine.  Children in the homeschooling community are getting solid math instruction whether they're using Saxon, Singapore, Math U See, Horizons, CLE, Teaching Textbooks, or whatever.  Do many people switch math curriculum at some point?  Yes.  I'd bet math is probably the subject where the most people make at least one change.  Let that reassure you that changes can be made in the future if whichever option you end up choosing doesn't work out as well as you liked.  Make sure your spouse is aware that changes are commonly made and budget accordingly. Don't equate curriculum change with failure, it's not. Everyone makes changes in something at some point, even......ps. As a matter of fact, changes have been the norm over the last century in ps.

 

Are you mathy? Do you want to do the instruction yourself? Do any of your children seem mathy? Did you struggle with math?  Do you dislike it?  Would you rather not do the instructing? Do you have a child who struggles with math?  How you answer those questions should be factored into curriculum shopping.  Whether or not you want someone else doing some or all of the math  instruction on some sort of video should be considered.  Whether or not you want math manipulatives incorporated into instruction and practice will influence your choice too. How much of the record keeping you want to do vs. how much you want a computer to do it will carry weight.

 

I think language arts (LA) is probably the second most switched curriculum. There's quite a range of them.  What's included and how it's taught in LA can vary widely from one curriculum to the other.  Maybe the first thing to ask is, have you found anything lacking in your own LA education? Was there something you think should've been included, but wasn't? Narration, dictation, copywork, grammar, sentence diagramming, outlining, composition, dictionary skills, thesaurus skills, vocabulary, phonics, spelling, and all that can be included in LA.  Do you want all of those things or do you consider some of them unnecessary? How are you at LA? Do you enjoy LA?  How about each of your kids?  Do you want your children to identify grammar concepts in sentences someone else wrote or prefer an approach where your child has to come up with their own sentences that show they understand grammar concepts? That kind of thing.

 

Being able to somewhat articulate what you do and don't want in a curriculum can help you make more confident decisions up front.  Keeping mental or written track of what specifically is working and what specifically isn't working as you go through the year(s) will give you a better sense of whether or not sticking with the curriculum you have or making a change makes sense.  If you decide to make a change in the next year or two or three, you're more likely to find something that meets your needs because you know specifically what you do and don't need.  There are no guarantees in life, even in well researched options, but the odds are better the more you've thought about it.

 

What are your priorities?  Let's say life goes crazy your second week in and the day it all starts happening you have time and emotional energy to get 2 subjects done.  Which 2 would they be? OK, now imagine the crazy dies down some more and you have the time to do a half day.  What would make your list of subjects to get done on a 1/2 day? Now imagine things have calmed down even more, but they're not back to normal yet, what would be included in your 3/4 day? Knowing that kind of thing up front makes it a less stressful when the tidal wave hits.  

 

It can work that way within a subject and within a lesson too.  Let's take LA.  Let's pretend you planned out your year by the week.  You know that this week things are going to be challenging in some way, so you look at this week's LA and you decide to cut some of it out. Typically what a child needs more practice in goes right to the top.  Review or more practice in something the child has a good handle on goes to the bottom.  The most important used skill or two covered that week moves up the priority list and the least important, least used skills covered that week move down the list. That can happen within a lesson for the day also. Being able to prioritize the most important thing keeps you on track while dropping the lesser things with a clear conscience. 

 

When it comes to scheduling, what do you mean? Are you interested in having it all scheduled and planned out for all subjects and all kids? Are there some subjects you want planned out and others to be done as you please or in a do the next thing kind of way?  Does loop scheduling appeal to you at all for some or all subjects? Sometimes, just knowing how many times a week you need to do a subject is enough to keep you on track to make sure you get through a certain amount by a certain time. Sometimes scheduling it all out gets you where you want to be.

 

Right now I'm stressed about choosing curriculum for everyone. I'm trying to focus on that but my mind keeps jumping to the next few things (long range planning, or how I'm going to plan out a day, how I'm going to keep the toddler busy while teaching the older kids, etc.)  So I'm just a little (or a lot) overwhelmed thinking about all of these different aspects of homeschooling.  I'm starting from scratch and with three kids including a middle schooler, there are just a lot of decisions to make. I know we can change our minds but I'm hoping to avoid wasting time and money. :)

 

Language arts seems to be my biggest issue right now. There are so many pieces and I want to make sure we're covering what we're "supposed to" cover without overwhelming my kids.  I am slowly getting a feel for what I want to do, and I'm learning that it's a process figuring this stuff out. :)

 

I really appreciate your advice about finding my priorities. That is very helpful as I work through the planning process and I hope I remember it when we're in the thick of things and I can't always get it all done. Thank you!

 

 

[PeterPan]

Yes, I think it is partly that there are 3 kids to plan for, including one middle schooler. I feel a little with him like I don't have time to mess things up! Both of my boys have ADHD (and the oldest has high functioning ASD) so I'm not sure how much they can do independently. But that is a good idea to have them start before my daughter and get them into a routine. All my kids are chomping at the bit to get started but I'm making them wait and actually enjoy summer first! And I've been talking a lot with them about starting slow, adding one or two subjects at a time, etc.  I think in *their* mind, homeschool will be just like school and I am really aiming to have a much more relaxed school here.

 

Thank you for the advice!

 

Ok, could I suggest you start a thread on LC or Gen and put in the title that you're asking for BEST TIPS FOR HOMESCHOOLING WITH ADHD AND ASD... :)

 

Seriously, you can probably save yourself a few headaches if you do that.  My dd17 has ADHD and my ds7 has the triple combo--ASD, ADHD, and SLDs.  We're a little in the fun house around here.  

 

So me, when I read your comment about wanting to be more relaxed and them thinking like school, lots of structure, THAT is what I'm telling you.  You SHOULD give them that structure!!!!  Do NOT listen to people who have not dealt with that degree of disabilities and try to make their set-up look like the Duggars or something.  Not that you would.  But even Sonlight or somebody else's picture.  You are going to have to be REALISTIC about the structure THEY need to succed.

 

The word, the single biggest word for success in homeschooling with those SN is structure.  Even people who unschool those disabilities (and yes, it can be done) have structure.  And they tend to have less kids when they do that and not a toddler underfoot.  So I would strongly encourage you to have a sit down with them, get realistic about what structures they need to succeed, what they want to learn, what role they want to have, where they want to be, what time they envision themselves doing this, what amount of supervision they see, etc.  Then of course you reality check all that.  

 

You can get your relaxed vibe in.  With my dd, I've had this crazy mixture of structured and relaxed, sort of half and half.  I structure anything she can't make happen for herself, and I let her drive anything she can.  She's now interning in a costume collection, designing costumes, preparing to apply to a really great program that she hopes to get into!  It really can work!  But you'll have to find some balance there and it's really going to vary with the kid.  Since they're USED to structure, I would give it to them.  Give them the amount of structure they need to succeed.  When moms say oh I want relaxed, sometimes it's really a copout.  This is going to be HARD WORK.  It's going to blow your mind.  So don't chicken out, don't skimp.  Give them the structure they're asking for.  It will be better that way.  You'll still give them time to pursue their passions, etc.

 

And seriously, start that thread.  We haven't had one in a long while and it will be good.   :)

Edited June 7, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[PeterPan]

Right now I'm stressed about choosing curriculum for everyone. I'm trying to focus on that but my mind keeps jumping to the next few things (long range planning, or how I'm going to plan out a day, how I'm going to keep the toddler busy while teaching the older kids, etc.)  So I'm just a little (or a lot) overwhelmed thinking about all of these different aspects of homeschooling.  I'm starting from scratch and with three kids including a middle schooler, there are just a lot of decisions to make. I know we can change our minds but I'm hoping to avoid wasting time and money. :)

 

Language arts seems to be my biggest issue right now. There are so many pieces and I want to make sure we're covering what we're "supposed to" cover without overwhelming my kids.  I am slowly getting a feel for what I want to do, and I'm learning that it's a process figuring this stuff out. :)

 

I really appreciate your advice about finding my priorities. That is very helpful as I work through the planning process and I hope I remember it when we're in the thick of things and I can't always get it all done. Thank you!

 

 

 

You didn't ask, but I would suggest something like IEW, where you can get a two-fer.  The oldest two can watch the videos, bam, done.  

 

Remember, you don't have to over plan.  Just do *enough*.  When you have bright kids with SN, do just enough and let them have room then to do other things with their budding skills.  They might realize they want to start a blog, join forums for a special interest, participate in contests, etc.  So when you do curriculum that is sort of *enough* without being really like WOW we scheduled the whole year!, you leave them room for that.  

[blue daisy]

Ok, could I suggest you start a thread on LC or Gen and put in the title that you're asking for BEST TIPS FOR HOMESCHOOLING WITH ADHD AND ASD... :)

 

Seriously, you can probably save yourself a few headaches if you do that.  My dd17 has ADHD and my ds7 has the triple combo--ASD, ADHD, and SLDs.  We're a little in the fun house around here.  

 

So me, when I read your comment about wanting to be more relaxed and them thinking like school, lots of structure, THAT is what I'm telling you.  You SHOULD give them that structure!!!!  Do NOT listen to people who have not dealt with that degree of disabilities and try to make their set-up look like the Duggars or something.  Not that you would.  But even Sonlight or somebody else's picture.  You are going to have to be REALISTIC about the structure THEY need to succed.

 

The word, the single biggest word for success in homeschooling with those SN is structure.  Even people who unschool those disabilities (and yes, it can be done) have structure.  And they tend to have less kids when they do that and not a toddler underfoot.  So I would strongly encourage you to have a sit down with them, get realistic about what structures they need to succeed, what they want to learn, what role they want to have, where they want to be, what time they envision themselves doing this, what amount of supervision they see, etc.  Then of course you reality check all that.  

 

You can get your relaxed vibe in.  With my dd, I've had this crazy mixture of structured and relaxed, sort of half and half.  I structure anything she can't make happen for herself, and I let her drive anything she can.  She's now interning in a costume collection, designing costumes, preparing to apply to a really great program that she hopes to get into!  It really can work!  But you'll have to find some balance there and it's really going to vary with the kid.  Since they're USED to structure, I would give it to them.  Give them the amount of structure they need to succeed.  When moms say oh I want relaxed, sometimes it's really a copout.  This is going to be HARD WORK.  It's going to blow your mind.  So don't chicken out, don't skimp.  Give them the structure they're asking for.  It will be better that way.  You'll still give them time to pursue their passions, etc.

 

And seriously, start that thread.  We haven't had one in a long while and it will be good.   :)

 

This is excellent advice. And I really appreciate it.  I just want to clarify that we do follow a general structure/routine around here and I see that continuing as we start homeschooling. When I said relaxed, I meant in the *amount* of work/subjects we do. So I plan to focus on the 3Rs, add a little science and history, but not stress myself our trying to get in foreign languages, Latin, music/composer study, artist study, literature analysis, basketweaving, etc. All the things that look fun but that we don't NEED to do right now. :) Is that a little clearer?  I will start that thread soon. :)  You have given me a lot of advice previously on the LC board and I truly appreciate it. :)

 

 

[blue daisy]

You didn't ask, but I would suggest something like IEW, where you can get a two-fer.  The oldest two can watch the videos, bam, done.  

 

Remember, you don't have to over plan.  Just do *enough*.  When you have bright kids with SN, do just enough and let them have room then to do other things with their budding skills.  They might realize they want to start a blog, join forums for a special interest, participate in contests, etc.  So when you do curriculum that is sort of *enough* without being really like WOW we scheduled the whole year!, you leave them room for that.  

 

LOL, see my response to your other post.

 

IEW is high on the list for my 11 year old. :)

[PeterPan]

This is excellent advice. And I really appreciate it.  I just want to clarify that we do follow a general structure/routine around here and I see that continuing as we start homeschooling. When I said relaxed, I meant in the *amount* of work/subjects we do. So I plan to focus on the 3Rs, add a little science and history, but not stress myself our trying to get in foreign languages, Latin, music/composer study, artist study, literature analysis, basketweaving, etc. All the things that look fun but that we don't NEED to do right now. :) Is that a little clearer?  I will start that thread soon. :)  You have given me a lot of advice previously on the LC board and I truly appreciate it. :)

 

 

 

Ok, I'll just throw you out a divergent thought, just because that's me.  I would drop one of the Rs and bring in one of the joy subjects.   :)  Seriously.  My dd LIVED for history.  Actually, she still does.  To remove history from her day, from her life, is like asking her to stop BREATHING.  She used to CRY when we did not do history.  

 

So I would start slowly by skipping one of the three Rs and bring in whatever is their favorite joy subject, probably history or science.  If that's what they need for joy, make sure it's in there.  Are you really interested in doing the rest of that list, or was that all hyperbole?  LOL  We did latin and languages, and it's fine.  Do you do Bible or some kind of joint thing?  Happily, some of the really basic latin programs are easy to do together orally, and they would actually span all your kids, believe it or not.  If the 2 yo is verbal, she could/would probably do it along!  

 

But to actually go really CM, like with all those separate subjects, that's a lot of transitions and waiting around for mom.  At the Opera  This is a WONDERFUL book on opera I used at the age of your oldest.  Also we had some summaries by Clyde Bulla that were really good.  Bulla also did Stories of Gilbert and Sullivan Operas  So then you just have them read one a week and then pull it up on youtube to watch!  There are still places that do productions of these, and you could get cds.  We have a university in our state that does them in the summer, so we've gone up for a few.  They're kinda pricey, but they're wonderful.  

 

I'm not saying to bog yourself down with more ideas, sorry.  I'm more just showing that *simple* things done with relatively independently, with structure, with consistency, actually can be really nice and really inspiring!  We did a Shakespeare study around then with the Ambrose productions and free guides.  You can do *simple* things like that, where you pick something and just do a dab each week.  I *personally* would not go gung ho for the whole CM, picture study, sit around the table thing.  Maybe that really works for some people, and you know your family best!  I'm just saying if you want a simpler way, something where you just write it on the checklist and it gets done, that's how you could do it.  It was really good for us, and now dd seeks out opera on her own.  She listens to it while she does her math, etc., and that's how it all started, with that inexpensive book by Fiery.   :)

Edited June 7, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[blue daisy]

Ok, I'll just throw you out a divergent thought, just because that's me.  I would drop one of the Rs and bring in one of the joy subjects.   :)  Seriously.  My dd LIVED for history.  Actually, she still does.  To remove history from her day, from her life, is like asking her to stop BREATHING.  She used to CRY when we did not do history.  

 

So I would start slowly by skipping one of the three Rs and bring in whatever is their favorite joy subject, probably history or science.  If that's what they need for joy, make sure it's in there.  Are you really interested in doing the rest of that list, or was that all hyperbole?  LOL  We did latin and languages, and it's fine.  Do you do Bible or some kind of joint thing?  Happily, some of the really basic latin programs are easy to do together orally, and they would actually span all your kids, believe it or not.  If the 2 yo is verbal, she could/would probably do it along!  

 

But to actually go really CM, like with all those separate subjects, that's a lot of transitions and waiting around for mom.  At the Opera  This is a WONDERFUL book on opera I used at the age of your oldest.  Also we had some summaries by Clyde Bulla that were really good.  Bulla also did Stories of Gilbert and Sullivan Operas  So then you just have them read one a week and then pull it up on youtube to watch!  There are still places that do productions of these, and you could get cds.  We have a university in our state that does them in the summer, so we've gone up for a few.  They're kinda pricey, but they're wonderful.  

 

I'm not saying to bog yourself down with more ideas, sorry.  I'm more just showing that *simple* things done with relatively independently, with structure, with consistency, actually can be really nice and really inspiring!  We did a Shakespeare study around then with the Ambrose productions and free guides.  You can do *simple* things like that, where you pick something and just do a dab each week.  I *personally* would not go gung ho for the whole CM, picture study, sit around the table thing.  Maybe that really works for some people, and you know your family best!  I'm just saying if you want a simpler way, something where you just write it on the checklist and it gets done, that's how you could do it.  It was really good for us, and now dd seeks out opera on her own.  She listens to it while she does her math, etc., and that's how it all started, with that inexpensive book by Fiery.   :)

 

LOL, I was mostly just kidding about that list of extras. I think there are a lot of cool things people here are doing with their kids and I hope to incorporate more down the road but I'm starting out slow.  3Rs, some science and history, read alouds, and yes I would like to do some Bible study with them too, but even that might be put off a bit, or we might just start with a little Bible reading every day and keep it simple.

 

I will check out the rest of your resources tomorrow. Thanks! :)

 

[PeterPan]

Can You Find It?: Search and Discover More Than 150 Details in 19 Works of Art

 

Can You Find It, Too?: Search and Discover More Than 150 Details in 20 Works of Art

 

Can You Find It? America: Search and Discover More Than 150 Details in 20 Works of Art (Can You Find It? (Abrams Books for Young Readers))

 

I've really enjoyed this series with my ds this year.  It would work for the 2,6, and 8 yos and be simple to implement.  I just throw it in the book basket and when we get to it we get to it.

Edited June 7, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[PeterPan]

Bible is fun!  I've been using this

 

The Beginner's Bible: Timeless Children's Stories  

 

with my ds this year plus a book by Ken Ham  A Is for Adam: The Gospel from Genesis

 

You have lots of options, obviously.  With my ds challenges, that mix fits him.  I think you could do your 2,6,8 together and let the 11 yo be independent.  

 

Well have fun!  It sounds like you have good plans!  :)

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

Right now I'm stressed about choosing curriculum for everyone. I'm trying to focus on that but my mind keeps jumping to the next few things (long range planning, or how I'm going to plan out a day, how I'm going to keep the toddler busy while teaching the older kids, etc.) So I'm just a little (or a lot) overwhelmed thinking about all of these different aspects of homeschooling. I'm starting from scratch and with three kids including a middle schooler, there are just a lot of decisions to make. I know we can change our minds but I'm hoping to avoid wasting time and money. :)

 

Language arts seems to be my biggest issue right now. There are so many pieces and I want to make sure we're covering what we're "supposed to" cover without overwhelming my kids. I am slowly getting a feel for what I want to do, and I'm learning that it's a process figuring this stuff out. :)

 

I really appreciate your advice about finding my priorities. That is very helpful as I work through the planning process and I hope I remember it when we're in the thick of things and I can't always get it all done. Thank you!

 

 

Language Arts stresses me out too! There are so many possible pieces - Grammar, writing, mechanics, vocabulary, penmanship, diagramming, literature, reading, spelling, and on and on it seems! Last year I decided to pick one or two LA priorities for each child and not worry about the rest. For my younger two that was reading. I used LOE for phonics with readers for extra practice and that's it. Our focus was reading - and we made a ton of practice on that! - and I didn't worry about anything that wasn't included in LOE (which included some penmanship and spelling).

 

For my older two the focus was writing and spelling. We used IEW (TWSS only using what we were doing for history and science to write from) and Spelling Power. Again, they made a ton of progress. Later, after we got the writing going, we added in some grammar with ILL that a friend had given me. This year we'll keep the focus on writing and grammar by doing Fix-It Grammar, TWSS, and Spelling Power.

 

At some point we'll focus on other aspects of LA but for now these are the priorities and I'm trying to stay focused on them.

Edited June 7, 2016 by 2ndgenhomeschooler

[HS Mom in NC]

Right now I'm stressed about choosing curriculum for everyone. I'm trying to focus on that but my mind keeps jumping to the next few things (long range planning, or how I'm going to plan out a day, how I'm going to keep the toddler busy while teaching the older kids, etc.)  So I'm just a little (or a lot) overwhelmed thinking about all of these different aspects of homeschooling.

 

 

OK, then if I were in your situation I'd focus on finding essential curriculum for the oldest first and give myself permission to not worry about the rest until I was done with that.  I'd figure out LA and then math and then order it so it's in my hands when I need to plan later. Then I'd do that for the rest of of reading school aged kids.  If someone isn't reading yet, figure out phonics instead of LA for them along with math.  Then you're in business.

 

Next I'd figure out history and science curriculum for the oldest. Then for the younger kids with the possibility of combining kids in mind-that may not work out with the oldest, but maybe with younger kids I could keep them together. 

 

If there are other subjects I wanted to add, I'd get those next or I might skip them and wait until I had things more planned out in my core subjects before I spent time scrutinizing and planning extras. I think curriculum selection is best done when you're not schooling yet.  By the time I've taught kids and have littles demanding my attention, I'd find it hard to think much about curriculum.  I'd rather do it during summer break.

 

I don't plan math because I don't allow my children to move to the next lesson unless they're scoring 95% or better on the current lesson.  Some lessons they get right away and some they need more practice in, so I schedule a certain amount of time per day they have to be on task in math. How far they get is how far they get. Phonics is another subject like that.  I just do the next thing until it's mastered and then move on.  Kids vary widely when it comes to reading and math there's really no predicting it.

 

LA curriculum usually has lessons in it.  I use Learning English with Literature which has 108 lessons. They include narration, copywork, dictation, sentence diagramming, memory work, etc. They're short and sweet. That means 3 lessons per week for a standard 36 week school year. Since I choose to school for only 36 weeks a year, that works for me.  When I want to complete a curriculum in a year and the number of lessons aren't evenly divisible by 36 I look at my school calendar. For example, let's say my science curriculum has 95 lessons.  If you divide 95 by 36 you get 2.6. So, what I'd do is aim for 2-3 lessons per week, depending on what's going on that week.  Thanksgiving week may just need 1 and the week before each break are weeks where 2 lessons make more sense than 3. Or you could plan 3 a week until they're all done and run out of science before the end of the year and have a lighter load at the end of the year.

 

Personality comes in to play with planning and researching options, so think about what generally makes you happier and calmer. Do you generally like more things planned out or do you generally like to plug away at the next thing until it's done? If you are going to plan I suggest planning by the week because the days in each week can vary widely. Some days you just hit a brick wall, so knowing you need to get a certain number of lessons done in a week to have you wherever it is you want to be at some point in the future gives you time to bump secondary stuff to tomorrow and still be on track.  Having a daily routine helps.  Routines tend to put the emphasis on the order of things where as daily schedules tend to put the emphasis on a certain time which can be, to some people, oppressive and to others very helpful.  Again, personality comes into play.

 

 

[blue daisy]

Language Arts stresses me out too! There are so many possible pieces - Grammar, writing, mechanics, vocabulary, penmanship, diagramming, literature, reading, spelling, and on and on it seems! Last year I decided to pick one or two LA priorities for each child and not worry about the rest. For my younger two that was reading. I used LOE for phonics with readers for extra practice and that's it. Our focus was reading - and we made a ton of practice on that! - and I didn't worry about anything that wasn't included in LOE (which included some penmanship and spelling).

 

For my older two the focus was writing and spelling. We used IEW (TWSS only using what we were doing for history and science to write from) and Spelling Power. Again, they made a ton of progress. Later, after we got the writing going, we added in some grammar with ILL that a friend had given me. This year we'll keep the focus on writing and grammar by doing Fix-It Grammar, TWSS, and Spelling Power.

 

At some point we'll focus on other aspects of LA but for now these are the priorities and I'm trying to stay focused on them.

 

Excellent advice.  I need to learn to prioritize and not feel like I have to hit the ground running doing every piece of every subject. 

[blue daisy]

OK, then if I were in your situation I'd focus on finding essential curriculum for the oldest first and give myself permission to not worry about the rest until I was done with that.  I'd figure out LA and then math and then order it so it's in my hands when I need to plan later. Then I'd do that for the rest of of reading school aged kids.  If someone isn't reading yet, figure out phonics instead of LA for them along with math.  Then you're in business.

 

Next I'd figure out history and science curriculum for the oldest. Then for the younger kids with the possibility of combining kids in mind-that may not work out with the oldest, but maybe with younger kids I could keep them together. 

 

If there are other subjects I wanted to add, I'd get those next or I might skip them and wait until I had things more planned out in my core subjects before I spent time scrutinizing and planning extras. I think curriculum selection is best done when you're not schooling yet.  By the time I've taught kids and have littles demanding my attention, I'd find it hard to think much about curriculum.  I'd rather do it during summer break.

 

I don't plan math because I don't allow my children to move to the next lesson unless they're scoring 95% or better on the current lesson.  Some lessons they get right away and some they need more practice in, so I schedule a certain amount of time per day they have to be on task in math. How far they get is how far they get. Phonics is another subject like that.  I just do the next thing until it's mastered and then move on.  Kids vary widely when it comes to reading and math there's really no predicting it.

 

LA curriculum usually has lessons in it.  I use Learning English with Literature which has 108 lessons. They include narration, copywork, dictation, sentence diagramming, memory work, etc. They're short and sweet. That means 3 lessons per week for a standard 36 week school year. Since I choose to school for only 36 weeks a year, that works for me.  When I want to complete a curriculum in a year and the number of lessons aren't evenly divisible by 36 I look at my school calendar. For example, let's say my science curriculum has 95 lessons.  If you divide 95 by 36 you get 2.6. So, what I'd do is aim for 2-3 lessons per week, depending on what's going on that week.  Thanksgiving week may just need 1 and the week before each break are weeks where 2 lessons make more sense than 3. Or you could plan 3 a week until they're all done and run out of science before the end of the year and have a lighter load at the end of the year.

 

Personality comes in to play with planning and researching options, so think about what generally makes you happier and calmer. Do you generally like more things planned out or do you generally like to plug away at the next thing until it's done? If you are going to plan I suggest planning by the week because the days in each week can vary widely. Some days you just hit a brick wall, so knowing you need to get a certain number of lessons done in a week to have you wherever it is you want to be at some point in the future gives you time to bump secondary stuff to tomorrow and still be on track.  Having a daily routine helps.  Routines tend to put the emphasis on the order of things where as daily schedules tend to put the emphasis on a certain time which can be, to some people, oppressive and to others very helpful.  Again, personality comes into play.

 

 

 

Thank you - this is so helpful!  Your post is helping me reframe my thoughts and focus on priorities.  I think we've got math figured out. I'm going to get LA planned this week, then work on the extras.  We are traveling for most of July so I want to have my curriculum ordered asap and hopefully have most of it in my hands by July so I can take it with me and start my long range planning.  I don't think I'm going to schedule out every week, at least not at the beginning but keep it more of a "do the next thing" schedule, at least for the subjects (math ) that lend themselves to that. And the others, well I will plan by the week as I can but remember to be flexible as we go along, like you said.  Again, thank you for your advice. :)

[...................]

Imagine how scary THIS is...I have a 9th grader...and he has chosen to outsource EVERY subject.  3 different online providers plus 2 classes locally.  I have absolutely zero control over any of the curriculum, no matter how annoying/awkward/busy work/time consuming/secular/religious-the-bad-way/ whatever...we gotta deal, and deal I shall...because I will be involved and looking over it and reading stuff and discussing and checking in....thankfully because I spent 8 years reading aloud to my boy for minutes that turned into hours....for days that turned into years...my boy has not only the relationship with me but with words, with the world, with books and with learning that I trust that he will get the most out of all of his education and he will see the farce that teaching to the test is, and hopefully be able to provide for his kids the best thing- 8 years of cuddling up with their mom and good books.  

 

 

But still... If only I could have 3rd grade back! 

Edited June 8, 2016 by Calming Tea

[...................]

^^ my point above, is that the priorities are the priorities and you'll never get these years back. cuddling and reading together isn't the "lazy" way or the "easy" way---it's the BEST way to form a lifelong relationship of a son or daughter who discussses issues with Mom.  It's the training of a human who understands the value of primary sources, good literature and proper grammar.  It's also making a human being who knows how to rest and cuddle up when sick, tired, overwhelmed and find a safe happy healthy place in a good book.  Please know that the advice we give to "cuddle up and read from great literature" is the best advice we can think of and something you will never, ever ever regret.

 

 

[blue daisy]

^^ my point above, is that the priorities are the priorities and you'll never get these years back. cuddling and reading together isn't the "lazy" way or the "easy" way---it's the BEST way to form a lifelong relationship of a son or daughter who discussses issues with Mom.  It's the training of a human who understands the value of primary sources, good literature and proper grammar.  It's also making a human being who knows how to rest and cuddle up when sick, tired, overwhelmed and find a safe happy healthy place in a good book.  Please know that the advice we give to "cuddle up and read from great literature" is the best advice we can think of and something you will never, ever ever regret.

 

I absolutely believe that!!! :)

[mamiof5]

Not only the planning, but the execution can be stressful...once in a great blue moon right? Who am I kidding?? Homeschooling IS hard, but for us it's such a blessing that we just can't go back to other schooling methods. Just trying to remember what helped me most the first year:

1) Friends/acquaintances telling me the first year was the hardest. I'm not sure if that's necessarily true,since life can get in the way at any time and make things harder, but keeping that in mind helped me a lot.

2) Take a deep breath, and one day at a time. And just because you have a bad day, a bad week...means everything is over and homeschooling was a huge mistake.

3) When my kids were in PS I got to see a minimum fraction of what they struggled with. When they are home you see it all, and it's stressful. But, you have their best interest at heart and will try to help them as much as you can.

4) Homeschooling is not easy, and some days it might seem like it was a huge mistake. Not only your choice of education changes. For us, our entire lifestyle changed, and it took a while to realize how big of an impact it was.

Sorry my response kind of derailed way farther than the planning stage. But for me it's all kind of part of it.

Welcome to the dark side...you might never switch back :) oh!!! And take pics your official "first days" at home... you'll cherish them later. Good luck with your planning!!

[mamamoose]

To be honest, I mostly just had rainbows and sparkles and wide eyed dreams while planning everything out. Then teh end of summer would come and I would panic and scrap half my plans, thereby losing money, and then start out fairly confident and the anxiety hits at multiple times througout the year, as different seasons come and go.

 

In general, for your first year, you should ONLY DO 3RS! DO NOT try to add in tons of other stuff. Just 3Rs' and then cuddle everyone up on teh couch to read 10 minutes from really good books every day.

We became homeschoolers in October and while I didn't heed this advice entirely, we didn't do much more than the 3Rs for most of the year. We did start history in January and added in a few science lessons here and there. I did slightly more with my 4th grader, because she loves school, but my younger kids stuck with reading and math! Edited June 8, 2016 by mamamoose

[PeterPan]

I did a *lot* of read alouds with my dd who has only ADHD.  Sometimes she would do that "cuddle on the couch" thing, but a lot of the time she was in motion.  We did that for years, great memories, so happy we did.  Fast forward to ds.  He's 7 with autism (high functioning) and combined type ADHD, probably similar to the op's oldest.  No cuddling, no couch time.  I can get him to sit with me for 10-15 minutes some days for a quick mix of a few short things.  He has language problems that affect his comprehension, sensory, the motion.  It's just way more complicated.  I give him, don't die, AUDIOBOOKS.  He listens to them HOURS daily, almost like a stim.  He listens to them over and over and memorizes them.

 

And, fwiw, a lot of my nice memories I'm forming with my ds are doing things together.  Not just the normal oh we did a craft or a project, but like 2-3 hours a day of we biked together, ran at the track, played basketball, swam, built k'nex, played games.  Work with the kid you've got.  

Edited June 8, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[blue daisy]

 Work with the kid you've got.  

 

This! I am definitely trying to remember this.

[KSinNS]

Lots of great advice! One thing we do is when we start back in the fall we start with one or two things, usually math and reading or English, then gradually add something else every few days as they get into the routine. It helps with the transition. It also helps me to see where I have over planned, misjudged level, etc. We follow a pretty consistent rhythm to the week, with lots of transitional warnings. It took a year or two to get a good rhythm for us. Also, I find do the next thing really reduces stress because I don't have too many preconceived notions about being "behind"